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Leo’s convinced his company hates him—even more than they did months ago.
He naively thought he’d been allowed a couple of days off nearing Seollal, especially when their labelmate had just finished their comeback.
His group usually wouldn’t be bothered by anything high-effort when they weren’t the ones generating the most buzz, so he’s more than surprised when his manager calls him in the middle of the day for a 'surprise' opportunity.
He’s woken up in the middle of an afternoon nap (the little treat he has after a night spent in the studio), taken into his company’s van with a detailed briefing sheet in his hands, and brought into an undisclosed location.
Sanghyeon sends him a pitying glance when they bump shoulders in the van, and he nudges closer to lay his head on their maknae. He’d have to treat the kid to a late dinner once this schedule was up, if he could even keep his eyes open by then.
“Where are we going, Sanghyeonie?” He mumbles under his mask, eyes partly closed.
“Valentine’s content for fans. There’s a skit we need to do now that they found a better location for the shoot.”
Leo hums lowly. It’s not absolutely terrible, then. It’d be his first Valentine’s Day as an idol, and he does love giving back to his fans when the opportunity allows.
“Do I need to memorize a lot of stuff?”
The youngest simpers, “You’re going to hate what role they put you in.”
♥︎
His maknae wasn’t wrong.
Not only was Leo running on less than 5 hours of sleep, but he also had to play their content’s host and act as himself.
His other members cooed at him, saying he was doing a great job and had looked “extremely cute” with his black Jughead Jones-esque reporter hat. The praise was effective about an hour ago, when he wasn’t the only one left to wrap up shoots he hadn’t completed because of his dual roles.
And especially not when he hears sounds of laughter coming from the green room not too far away.
“Leo-nim,” the DP takes a break from shooting his photos to be uploaded on their site. “Hope you don’t mind another group coming in. Their managers booked the space after you guys, but I didn’t know we’d extend for a bit.”
“Yup, no worries!” He gives the man a thumbs-up. He was just doing his job, like Leo was.
He tries —and fails— to not notice the specific peal of laughter that catches his attention right away.
Bright, high-pitched, and full of mischief.
Lee Sangwon’s group was mere meters away from him.
He blinks twice to get back into his idol persona, internalizing that his content was for fans who loved and adored him, unlike the man he hadn’t spoken to for—
“Okay to continue?”
“Yes, yeah. Let’s go.” He replies a beat too quickly.
He just had to get through a few more usable shots, then he could hightail away from here.
But did he really want to? He’s a little sick and tired of chasing after Sangwon all the time. Now, the idol would have no choice but to see him. And maybe hook up with him, too.
He’s nearing the end of his shoot when he sees Junseo enter the photoshoot area. The other group’s leader flinches the tiniest bit in surprise, but his features quickly soften to a warm smile.
Junseo waves at him, “Leo-yah!”
“Junseo-hyung!” He beams, waving back before settling into a pose.
The DP seems relieved that Leo is amicable with the next group, eliminating the possibility of a catfight in the property.
“No way! Leo-hyung’s here?!”
Anxin all but screams from the side. The kid reminds him so much of his group’s own maknae—he wonders why the two don’t interact as much.
“Hush, Anxin.” Sangwon chides, the venom audible in his voice.
That answers his query.
“This is the last one, Leo-nim,” the DP helpfully reminds him. He throws in a cute pose as his ending shot, and claps his hands at the man’s signal.
He goes on to thank the staff one by one as Junseo assumes his position on the same set. Their company executives might be extremely cheap, but the staff they worked with were nothing but angels.
Anxin wraps him in a hug before he can even get to his stuff.
“I missed you!”
“Let him go, Anxin-ah. He looks tired,” Jiahao laughs, but walks over to him with a pat on the back.
“Congrats on your comeback, you guys. Great stuff.”
“Thanks,” Jiahao grins, “and thanks for making the company let me and Junseo do a challenge together.”
“Are you kidding me?” Anxin nearly shrieks, “And you wouldn’t let me do one with you?”
“I’ll call you on our comeback,” He smirks, tugging Anxin away from the hug. “I have to get home first.”
“Not in that state, you aren’t! You look like you’re a minute away from passing out.”
Jiahao all but drags him to the couch before he can protest, making him plop on the empty spot beside Sangwon with a square pillow thrown on his lap.
“Dude.”
No “hello,” or “sorry for not talking to you even when we have sex every once in a while.”
“Don’t be rude to our guest, Sangwon-ah.”
“I really don’t mean to impose, hyung,” Leo tries to stand up, already feeling the chilly atmosphere from staying here. His attempt becomes unsuccessful as slim fingers pull his belt loops back to the seat.
“You look like absolute shit.”
Jiahao smiles with his teeth. “See, even Sangwon’s worried about you.”
“I was not—"
Sangwon receives a withering stare from Jiahao. He quiets down with an annoyed exhale.
“Take a nap, at least. We can drop you off at your place once everyone’s done here.”
Leo sighs, body melting into the couch. “I guess I don’t have any plans after this… Thank you, hyung.”
“Of course,” Jiahao waves him off, slowly walking away. “I’ll tell Anxin to use his inside voice, too.”
Leo chuckles, giving him a thumbs up. He’s eternally grateful that idols like Jiahao exist in their industry. Maybe it’s only fair that he gets to date someone as kind as he is.
His nose scrunches when he feels soft fabric drape over his shoulders as he nears his sleep. He cracks an eye open to a surprised-looking Sangwon, halfway through laying a blanket on him.
The cloth smells like fresh linen, a hint of fig wafting in it. Quintessential Sangwon.
“You get cold easily,” he mumbles, hands retreating like being around Leo burned him.
“So do you.”
The man’s lips shift into the smallest of pouts, his ears blushing pink. “Well, if you don’t want it, then I don’t care.”
“I’m just fucking with you,” Sangwon was too damn cute when he was flustered, even Leo could admit that. “Thank you, princess.”
“Shut up,” he murmurs, settling beside him closer than before. He can feel Sangwon’s shoulder against him, and it only takes a couple of minutes for Leo to fall asleep.
♥︎
The first thing he notices upon waking up is that Sangwon isn’t beside him anymore.
Then, it’s Anxin’s violent shriek and the sound of rapidly approaching footsteps.
“Hyung! I have to go, manager’s orders.”
“Where are the others?” His brain is still foggy, the intrusion sharply piercing through it.
“Hao-gē and Junseo-hyung left a while ago, but they didn’t wanna wake you up. I, on the other hand, couldn’t leave without saying goodbye.”
Well, thank goodness he woke him up. He was clearly overstaying his welcome, and his own members were probably worried sick that he wasn’t home yet.
He rubs his hands over his eyes to gain focus, nevermind that he was probably messing up the mascara his stylist had put on him hours ago.
“That’s okay, Anxinnie. Thanks for waking me up. I should be on my way, too. Are you heading to the dorms?”
“Nope, I’m off to a solo shoot,” he beams, rightfully proud of himself.
“Oh, that’s great! Congrats, bro!” Leo perks up, attempting to stand up to give the younger idol a high five.
He’s blocked by the blanket still on his torso, and he carefully extracts and folds it as neatly as he can. He sets it on the couch so Sangwon won’t have a hard time finding it when he collects his belongings.
Anxin halts abruptly when he senses Leo following him to the exit.
“Hyung, if you’re not in a rush, Sangwon-hyung’s team knows you’re here, too. You can leave for the dorms together when he’s done.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” he replies truthfully, clutching the strap of his bag.
The Chinese idol thinks something over, then sighs.
“Please, hyung? He seems like he’s been somewhere else lately... I didn’t want to say anything, but he only looks somewhat normal when you guys are bickering.”
“That’s… a load of bullshit, actually. Sorry, Xinnie.”
“Come on, Leo-hyung. I don’t know how to convince you, but if you do stay, I can convince the vocal teacher to let you skip the morning class tomorrow.”
The kid was dangling a precious prize—around two hours of extra sleep for the perpetually sleepy man. Leo realizes he’s already lost.
“Deal.”
Anxin grins toothily, pumping his fist at the victory. He sticks his tongue out when Leo calls him a diabolical mastermind.
♥︎
Moments of walking aimlessly around the room’s corner pass, and Sangwon returns to the lounge, a little worn out yet undeniably pretty, nonetheless.
“You’re actually still here,” he says, adjusting his prop glasses as if they cleared up his vision at all.
Leo shrugs in acknowledgement.
“And Anxin already left?”
“Yeah.”
Sangwon purses his lips, “Well, the car’s waiting outside. Let’s go.”
“Still prissy outside work,” he scoffs at the impersonality. In his mind, he wants nothing more than to be free from the idol’s company.
Sangwon’s lean torso stops him before he passes through the door. “Give it.”
He follows the man’s line of sight and sees Sangwon’s bag on his arm. That’s what he’s bothered by? Him accidentally taking his bag?
Leo shakes his head, pushing Sangwon away with his chest. The man almost doesn’t let up, a fiery look in his eyes. If he wasn’t so over being cooped up in the same studio for hours, Leo might’ve started snogging him against the wall until he was utterly pliant and trembling under him.
“Don’t be dramatic, princess. You said it yourself, the car’s just around the corner.”
Sangwon huffs, but lets it go. He stomps to his staff waiting at the entrance, not bothering to check if Leo caught up.
Brat.
He doesn’t even know what Sangwon wanted to achieve. He assumed they were on better terms now, at least in private.
On the contrary, the idol’s staff members are nice enough. Sangwon’s bodyguard greets him warmly, apologizing profusely for not taking their bags earlier. Leo feels bad about him feeling bad, and he apologizes twice as much.
Their chat extends to the car, so he’s spared from the awkwardness of entering and not knowing where to sit. Luckily, or unluckily, for him, the bodyguard ensures he’s seated next to a closed-off Sangwon at the back.
Once Leo’s settled in his seat, he notices how his fellow idol is zoned out, mouth downturned the way it does when he’s deep in thought. Leo inches away from him slightly, giving him more room to breathe.
He puts on his earbuds with the intention of ignoring everything until they reach Seoul. He could catch up with some football matches he wasn’t able to watch live, or listen to some demo tracks sent over by one of their producers.
Somehow, his brain doesn’t let him do any of that.
Leo’s too keyed up by surroundings, too uncomfortable about being displaced from his group, and too aware of Sangwon’s soft sighs from less than a meter away.
Sangwon’s manager breaks the silence, his words sounding muffled in Leo’s earbuds. It’s only when he feels taps on his forearm that he registers himself as a participant in the conversation.
The blond faces him, and Leo shuts off the noise-cancelling feature of his earbuds to hear him more clearly.
“You still like tteokbokki?”
“Yeah, of course.” He’s half-Korean, not stupid.
“Great,” the younger smiles, not in the sarcastic way Leo’s used to. He turns his head to the manager, mentioning something about portion sizes.
“What’s happening?” Leo takes out an earbud now, listening intently to the people talking.
“We’re having a late-night snack at my favorite place.”
Sangwon says it like it’s no big deal. It probably isn’t; male idols grabbing late-night snacks together was far from taboo. Last time he checked, however, the man wanted as little contact with him as possible.
Nevertheless, Leo’s not about to pass up on free food on top of his free ride home.
“Ah. Nice.”
The manager chuckles at his lack of enthusiasm, “We’re near, Leo-nim. It’ll be a quick detour, don’t worry.”
He mirrors the laugh amicably, grateful that he doesn’t come off as rude.
He doesn’t get to put his earbud back in, a bit too distracted by Sangwon’s hand still on his forearm.
♥︎
Leo shouldn’t have been surprised that the tteokbokki place they’d arrive at would be tucked in the middle of nowhere.
The shop appears ancient, with paint chipping off the walls, and dated posters plastered all over. The wooden tables and chairs creak even without much weight on them, but they’re still comfortable enough to sit on without any problem.
Perhaps it’s why Sangwon likes the place. He values his privacy too much as an idol, a trait that Leo doesn’t mind sharing with him.
Aside from the elderly woman tending the food counter-slash-register, the shop’s only other occupant is a solo diner who looks like they just came from a late shift, too. They’re absorbed in a video on their phone that they don’t notice the mini-entourage that comes in.
“Won-ah, you’re back already?”
“It’s been two weeks since I’ve been here. Already two weeks too late,” Sangwon teases mildly, hugging the elder who comes to greet him.
The rookie’s bodyguard doesn’t mind the contact, so they must be in a safe environment, all things considered.
The two of them pick a spot separate from the staff, but close enough that the latter could jump to their aid anytime. The downside was that they could also hear their bickering if it reached a certain volume.
Sangwon takes a deep breath, aware of the situation at hand.
“Hey, I don’t want to fight you in front of the staff. Can we drop it tonight?”
“You’re the one who keeps picking fights, Sangwon.”
“No way. I haven’t even spoken to you since—“
Leo raises a brow, egging him on. So he wasn’t hallucinating about Sangwon avoiding him, after all.
“It's irrelevant.”
His hands raise in surrender, “I’m letting it go. We can do whatever you want.”
“Lovely,” Sangwon grimaces, averting his attention to the menu board plastered near the register. He looks much like a hamster squinting to view the handwritten menu items better, and Leo has to bite his lip to stop himself from grinning at how adorable it is.
Sangwon gives up trying to read the words, “I just want tteokbokki and a water. You can pick what you want.”
“Then, I’ll get tteokbokki, too. And a diet soda. And pajeon.”
“Got it.”
Sangwon gets up from his seat before Leo does. His arm shoots up to make the latter sit back down amid protest, “I’ll pay.”
“What?” Leo replies dumbly, “Is this like a date?”
The idol snorts, “You wish. I’m paying for the staff, too. I dragged everyone here.”
“Sheesh, you didn’t have to sound so pressed.”
Sangwon probably realizes he can’t flip him off, so he ignores him and walks over to the lady at the counter. He doesn’t fail to notice how the man’s demeanor switches in front of her, his voice much softer and his laughs heartier than seconds ago.
Not that Leo would deserve that treatment, anyway.
“Food should be out soon,” the rookie announces plainly when he comes back to their table. Leo gives a non-committal grunt in return, eyes glued to his phone so he doesn’t have to engage in conversation.
It’s only when the lady brings heaping portions of their orders that both switch into their company-regulated idol modes, with gracious smiles and fake laughs that conceal their longstanding loathing.
“Eat well! And Sangwon-ah, tell me if your friend likes it too!”
“There’s no way he won’t!” He giggles sweetly.
Leo laughs along, unable to deny the statement even if he wanted to be a dick. The tteokbokki looks piping hot, bubbles still present at the edge of its pot. The slices of cheese are gooey, too, and though he isn’t particularly hungry, he finds himself salivating at the visual.
Beside it is the less-imposing pajeon with the vibrant dipping sauce held in a bowl. The specks of green onion on the pancake are enormous, so he knows Sangwon will enjoy it a lot more than he ever could.
He ladles the tteokbooki into his bowl, blowing on the steam before putting the food in his mouth. Sangwon glances at him expectantly, which sort of freaks him out.
“D’you like it?”
Sangwon asks, with the slightest tinge of hesitation in his voice.
Leo all but moans at the rich flavor hitting his taste buds. He does a thumbs up while he chews through his food, eyes closed in bliss.
“This tastes unreal, holy shit!” He exclaims in between bites, “How’d you even find this place?”
He’d been meaning to ask ever since the lady who served them seemed to have known Sangwon for a long time. He hasn’t seen him that comfortable with people outside their company in years.
“I walked a lot around here, from before.”
Sangwon doesn’t need to explain himself further for Leo to understand what he means. While it’s not often that they talk about before anymore, especially not in the current context of their non-existent friendship, it’s not a memory that both of them can easily forget.
Before was when they never fought, never even squabbled. Before was when they were trainees who trusted each other with their lives.
Leo thinks he’s never gotten over before. If he did, he wouldn’t be so angry at Sangwon all the time.
“Ah,” he nods tersely, going back to his bowl. “Good taste.”
Sangwon merely snorts, eating a portion of his own food.
“You never change, don’t you?”
“Huh?”
“Nevermind,” he peers past him, probably at a wall or the dimly-lit street beyond them. Leo kind of feels bad about the obvious shift in tone. “Eat your tteok.”
He complies easily, forking down the serving like a vacuum. It’s comedic to compare the speed at which he and Sangwon eat, and he hopes the latter can keep up before he ends up finishing everything on the table.
Sangwon’s eyes drift periodically to the untouched pajeon, and though he doesn’t say anything, Leo nudges the plate toward him.
“Don’t just stare at it. Have some.” The idol has always been shy about getting what he wanted.
“Come on, Sangwon-ah. Don’t tell me you hate green onions now.”
“I—” Sangwon purses his lips, thinking hard and settling his bowl down before he speaks. “I’m going over my limit already. I shouldn’t eat any more.”
Leo can hardly believe his ears. Sangwon, who weighs less than what they make him lift at the gym, and has the most slender waist in the industry, thought he was overeating?
“Bullshit,” He takes a pair of culinary scissors and cuts a quarter of the jeon, placing it on the tips of his chopsticks. He’s not mad at Sangwon, but more so of the pressure that seems to be eating at the idol.
“Are you hungry?”
Sangwon nods slowly.
“Then eat.”
The younger pushes his plate closer to Leo, letting the man place the cut-up pajeon on it. He doesn’t take another bite until he sees Sangwon chew on the dish, only satisfied when he sees him swallow.
“Yummy?”
Sangwon nods again.
“Good,” he lets go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
They eat in silence, or at least Leo tries to. He’s inwardly seething at their company, mind racing with arguments to ensure none of their idols get the treatment Sangwon’s enduring. Heck, he’s strategizing for their next monthly meeting with management already.
“Don’t even think about it,” Sangwon clicks his tongue pointedly.
Leo glares at him.
“—Look, it’s nice and all that you feel like you have to ‘save’ me or something, but I don’t want you sticking your nose into my business.”
He can’t accept it, not when the man sounds so defeated. Like he’s accepted it long ago.
“This is insane, Sangwon. They shouldn’t be doing this to you, or to anyone.”
It isn’t difficult to empathize with a fellow idol when he and his members have been put in similar situations. It’s not as if he can change the course of their industry in one discussion, but he’d rather start something meaningful than tolerate the mistreatment.
“And I’m telling you, it comes with the job,” Sangwon shrugs like it’s no big deal.
Now, Leo might seriously lose it.
A warm hand curls around his fist, unaware he’d been clenching it all this time.
“Not tonight, remember?”
Sangwon says steadily, soothing his skin with slow circles on his knuckles. When his hand loosens, the man slips his fingers through his, interlacing them delicately.
Leo slumps his shoulders, resuming his meal with much less enthusiasm than before. “What do you want tonight, then?”
“You can… keep holding my hand and call me pretty?” He puts it down lightly, and Leo thinks he must be joking.
“You can’t be fucking serious.”
“I just wanted a break, Leo. Will you give me that?”
Leo's aware that he crossed the line, the strain of feigning calm evident in Sangwon’s features.
So, he salvages what little he can, falling into step with him. “I thought this wasn’t a date?”
It wasn’t worth getting into an argument with Lee Sangwon when the night was almost over, anyway.
The idol's brows unfurrow slowly, playing along, “It wasn’t until you started spiralling on my behalf.”
“That’s because you’re my pretty princess, Sangwonnie.”
“Fuck off.”
Sangwon makes a gagging sound, slapping his arm away. Leo laughs, more determined to make the other rookie cringe harder.
He makes several more attempts to lighten the mood over dinner, teasing the man relentlessly until his ears are fully red from embarrassment. The staff must have caught on to the banter, seemingly less stiff than they were moments ago.
“I can’t believe I used to have a crush on you,” Sangwon mutters as they’re headed back to the van. His walls have mostly lowered, his side now fully pressed against the elder idol.
Leo thinks his eyes bug out of his head from the sudden confession, and he can’t stop the slip of his native tongue, “What the fuck?”
There aren’t any fans around for him to watch his language, but he whispers-shouts it to be safe.
The little devil giggles, hand finding his in the dark. “Give yourself some credit, hyungie. I wouldn’t sleep with you for nothing.”
There are too many questions for him to even process Sangwon’s words, the most prominent ones being when? and why did you stop?
He doesn’t think he’d like the answer to one of them, though, so he shuts his mouth.
“What? No reaction?”
“You wouldn’t want to know here,” he motions to the people in the car. The space feels more cramped now, even with the separation of idols from the staff.
“Sure,” Sangwon says sarcastically, snaking his arms around Leo’s waist in a side hug.
He tells himself it's a basic instinct that makes him hold Sangwon to his scarf-clad sternum, and even a more primal one that makes him run his fingers through the idol’s hair.
“We could’ve been doing this earlier,” Leo sulks, resting his chin on top of Sangwon’s head.
The man hums across his chest, “We live in the same building.”
“Can’t go up to your dorm, though.”
“As if that’s stopped you before.”
Leo shushes him with a hand to his mouth. Sangwon huffs, but takes it as a chance to snuggle deeper into him. The elder eventually has to take the man’s glasses off so he remains comfortable the whole way home.
♥︎
“That wasn’t so bad now, was it?” Sangwon bumps their hips together in the basement parking lot of their dorm building.
They’ve bid goodbye to their staff, and by some miracle, the blond idol convinces the manager to go up ahead, leaving the two in an awkward spot in the deserted space.
“He’s used to me sneaking out,” Sangwon smiles sheepishly. Leo knows all too well what he means.
“—not that he knows I’m seeing you!”
He seems panicked all of a sudden, making him so much more endearing.
“I wasn’t even going to ask you about that!” He pinches Sangwon’s cheek, teasing him relentlessly.
The man pouts for a moment, but leans into the touch, “This is the worst Valentine’s Day date ever.”
“It’s January,” Leo pouts back as a joke. “I didn’t know you thought of our date as Valentine’s Day.”
“It’s an intuitive guess.”
Leo steps back, unsure what compels him to rummage through his duffel bag and take out the prop he took home from his shoot, nor does he know why he feels the intense need to give it to the man in front of him.
But his arms move faster than his brain— and before he knows it, Sangwon has a box of (likely squished) custom chocolates in his arms.
“Here, for you.”
“Oh,” the man exclaims, eyes glimmering with curiosity and mischief. “What’s this?”
“Some props we decorated from set… you don’t have to eat them if you, like, don’t want ‘em.”
He feels the embarrassment sinking in after the fact. God, he still had to see the man at work after tonight. Why is he choosing to do something downright impulsive and cheesy now?
The gap between his feet suddenly looks the most interesting, and he cranes his neck downward to see it better.
“You’re really cute when you’re shy.”
A pair of feet approaches his, closing the gap.
“Wha—?” He freezes in place, eyes locked on the ground that he wishes would swallow him whole.
“Happy Valentine’s Day, Leo.”
Sangwon tips his jaw and presses a light kiss to his cheek.
He almost falls flat on his face, not knowing what to do. He’ll fuck Sangwon, sure, but casual and public intimacy is closer to uncharted territory.
“Uh, yeah.”
Sangwon giggles, kissing the other side of his face. He doesn’t fail to notice how the man’s breath lands closer to his lips.
“You’d be a terrible boyfriend, you know that?”
“Exactly why I’m single,” he jests weakly. He wonders whether it would be weird to ask Sangwon to kiss him properly now.
The younger idol shakes his head, nose nuzzling into Leo’s cheek without meaning to, “Maybe.”
Now, he’s really trying not to read more into Sangwon’s words, even when the implications are startlingly clear.
“Why? Are you saying you’d be better than me?”
He should seriously consider shutting the hell up. It’s not even Valentine’s Day for real.
The rookie thinks it over, pulling away from him. Leo’s eyes follow him as he unclasps a thin metal chain around his neck, and he allows him to slide the necklace into the palm of his hand.
“Depends on your answer… would you let your boyfriend give you this?”
In all honesty, he’d prefer a more well-thought-out gift, not a half-assed attempt just for the sake of getting one.
“No.”
He feels Sangwon’s wrist twitch, preparing to retreat. Leo clasps his hand more firmly.
“—I’d let you, though.”
He could lie to himself and say he has more self-respect, but it’s never been that simple with Sangwon. Their current relationship would explain just as much.
He angles his face forward so their foreheads touch, his hands guiding Sangwon to clutch onto him. The cool silver digs into the younger man’s forearms, his breath hitching at the contact.
“You didn’t answer it properly.”
Leo wouldn’t have a satisfactory answer even if he tried.
Contrary to the lyrics he pens for his group, he can't discern what loving properly would feel like.
He’s known from before that there would be no time for love in a place so ruthless, in an industry where he’s just as disposable as the next person. And over the years, it's. become a career-induced sickness that makes him prioritize his dream above anything truly human.
“Does it matter, Sangwon-ah?”
They’re close enough that he can map out each of Sangwon’s eyelashes, and even closer when the man pulls him downward.
Sangwon shakes his head 'no', eyes staring up at him.
“Hyung."
And to hell if Leo doesn’t recognize what the whine is for.
His lips make it to Sangwon’s before he can stop himself. The idol meets him halfway, sighing expectantly into the embrace and mouth molding into Leo’s like it was made for him.
Leo slides his palms past the man’s sweater, gripping him by his hips. Sangwon melts at the unexpected touch, wrapping his arms around Leo’s neck for more warmth. He can’t even bring himself to care that the box of chocolates digs into his coat.
It’s romantic and unbearably cliché—them clinging onto each other for dear life in a kiss that seems never-ending. If anyone were to walk in on them, they’d think they saw a deranged couple, which is probably what they are.
“—You could’ve asked for a kiss like a normal person,” Leo tells him as they pause to take a breath.
Sangwon smiles, his spit-shined lips stained pink, “Didn’t need to.”
Leo dives into his lips again.
If someone asked why he was so eager, it's simply because Lee Sangwon was a difficult man to read.
One day, he could be all over Leo, needing him like air. He could allow the sweet affection, the chaste kisses, and the tacky gifts. He could even say they were on a date.
But tomorrow could be completely different. Sangwon could ignore him outright, or chase him away after sex. He could decide to go on an actual date with someone else, if he really wanted to.
So even when they’ve hooked up plenty of times and have kissed even more than they can count, Leo knows he’ll remember the tenderness of this one for a long time.
Sangwon licks the seam in between his lips, begging for entrance. He lets him deepen the kiss, biting the man's bottom lip in return. His hands move more freely too, roaming the younger’s back to bring them as close as can be.
“Baby,” he whispers, their breaths mingling as they part. “What are we doing?”
Sangwon looks like a deer caught in headlights, gaze flitting to Leo’s lips rather than his eyes. Only now does the elder register that he’s trembling underneath his touch.
“I-I don’t know,” he sounds scared out of his mind. “Do you not like it?”
“Hey, no, no,” Leo rubs his back consolingly, drawing circles near his ribs.
“I like it, baby. So much.”
If anything, Leo should be the scared one with how much he loves it.
He realizes belatedly that he said the wrong thing because Sangwon ends up recoiling at his words. The idol forcibly removes Leo’s arms from him, the fearful expression never leaving his face.
“I don’t know what came over me. It's not supposed to be like this. T-this isn’t us.”
He shakily taps the button of the elevator, breathing heavily when Leo comes closer.
The elder is thankful it takes a while for the hatch to reach their floor because he gets the opportunity to take Sangwon by the hand before he spirals out of control.
“Did you not like it, Wonie?” It feels like déjà vu asking a similar question from earlier that night.
Sangwon gulps, but doesn’t try to fight him off anymore. “I liked it, too.”
“Then no harm done.”
The doors to the elevator open, and he leads them inside. He maintains some distance from Sangwon, just in case.
“Let’s get you to your room,” Leo presses on the button of Sangwon’s dorm, then on his.
The younger idol tugs at his sleeve, pointing to the lit-up buttons guiltily. “You’re not staying the night?”
He’s hopelessly adorable, and if Leo were any weaker, he’d follow the man to his room and tuck him in himself.
However, tonight wasn’t only about upholding their company’s rules, but also about making sure that Sangwon was comfortable with their arrangement.
“Sorry, pretty. It’s still our first date, after all.”
Sangwon flicks him on the forehead, a pout forming on his face. He’s not too mad, though, judging from the blush creeping on his ears, “So stupid, hyungie.”
Ding.
The elevator reaches Sangwon’s floor, and he waddles to the exit with his bag and the box of chocolates he’d been holding on to. The ‘hold’ button gets pushed just before he’s fully outside.
“Wouldn’t you want to kiss your Valentine good night?”
Leo gives himself this bit of mercy, stepping into the hallway to lift Sangwon off his feet and kiss him squarely on the mouth one last time.
If he ever finds out how ‘true love’ works for him, he thinks he’d kiss the love of his life like this.
He returns to the elevator with a goofy grin, finger guns pointed at Sangwon as his way of saying goodbye.
♥︎
Later, when he reaches his bed, he struggles to fall asleep.
Exhaustion settles deep in his bones from the day that had gone longer than expected, even more so because of the impromptu date he went on. Yet, he sees Sangwon’s smiling face when he closes his eyes, an image he tries (and fails) to rub away with his palms.
Over and over, he repeats to himself that his and Sangwon’s relationship works because they don’t do anything more than fuck around. Even then, he finds it hard to penalize himself for how much he enjoyed the night.
Besides, he had told Sangwon not to stress over their date; he can’t just not follow his advice.
If he wants to have a semblance of control over his situation, Leo knows he’ll eventually have to address before—but doing so would mean confronting Sangwon and everything that came with it. He doesn’t believe he’ll ever be ready for that.
His hands feel for the necklace clasped around his neck, the one he hastily put on the second the elevator doors closed. He shouldn’t feel so giddy about having a piece of Sangwon with him this closely, yet here he was, lips curving upward despite himself.
Currents of confusion overflow in his heart, but there are waves of hope tiding him to shore, too.
♥︎♡