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Upstairs, garment bags were thrown across the bed, and the mirror was still fogged from the shower they’d taken far too long in. Ilya stood in his dress shirt and jacket, fastening and refastening the same cuff link, his bow tie snug against his throat.
Across the room, Shane had been staring at his reflection long enough that Ilya knew something was off. Shane’s jaw ticked as he glanced over at the clock. If he changed one more detail, they’d be late to their own event.
It was the first foundation gala they were hosting since getting married, and Shane was deep in his head about it.
“Hey. It’s going to be great.” Ilya slid an arm around Shane’s waist, tugging him close and pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head.
“I fucking hope so,” Shane muttered as they headed downstairs to the car service waiting outside their home.
“You look very handsome. The suit looks good,” Ilya said, trying to pull him out of the spiral. He could see the overwhelmed feeling creeping in before they’d even reached the venue.
Complimenting Shane came naturally to him. He told him he looked pretty, that his hair sat just right, that his freckles stood out, that certain colors made his eyes brighter. He said these things without thinking. It was instinct, a habit.
Words of affirmation mattered, though Ilya wouldn’t have called them that. He hadn’t grown up hearing much praise, and if someone asked him about love languages, he’d be thoroughly confused. He loved fully, in every way he knew how. If he ever took the time to look into it, he’d likely realize he craved all of them.
Inside the venue, they were greeted by Shane’s best friend Hayden and his wife, Jackie.
“Wasted no time getting to that open bar, did you?” Ilya teased, shaking Hayden’s hand. The two of them had grown closer since the wedding, something Shane appreciated more than he cared to admit.
“Isn’t that what it’s here for?” Hayden winked before pulling Shane into a tight hug.
“Excuse him,” Jackie said with a smile. “He’s joking.” Ilya smiled back, he loved Jackie. She had provided him with an extended family, even if it meant he had to deal with Hayden Pike.
Then, without meaning to, Ilya let his eyes drift down. The pants Shane was wearing were doing incredible things for him. Ilya knew selfishly that they would, and that's why he urged Shane to pick that cut in the first place.
“Your butt looks good in those pants,” Ilya said before he could stop himself. The words rolling right off his tongue.
“Thank you,” Shane replied, cheeks warming as he smiled softly.
“Oh God. So complimentary, Rozy,” Hayden laughed loudly.
“He always is,” Jackie chimed in. She’d noticed it right away, the way Ilya never hesitated to hype Shane up. She thought it was sweet, privately wishing Hayden would take notes and do it more.
“I never hear Shane goo-goo gaga-ing over you,” Hayden added.
Ilya rolled his eyes, playful on the surface, but the comment hit somewhere deeper. Now that he thought about it, Hyaden wasn't wrong. Shane wasn’t as vocal. Not like him. Was that something to worry about?
“That’s a lie,” Shane said with a smile. “I’m just less public about it.” He laced their fingers together, pulling Ilya softly “We should work the room, enjoy yourselves.”
As they moved away, Ilya leaned in. “Did I embarrass you?”
“No. Hayden just doesn’t have a filter. And he and Jackie don’t get out much, I’m sure he’s making the most of the open bar. Ignore him.” Shane adjusted his glasses.
Ilya swallowed the instinct to toss out another compliment about how good he looked doing that. Shane knew the glasses did something for Ilya, and although he didn't understand it he would wear them more often now just for special occasions.
The rest of the evening blurred into polite laughter, handshakes, and thank-yous. Eventually, Ilya pushed the thought aside. Tonight wasn’t about him.
Ilya had hoped he’d sleep it off. That he wouldn't care so much in the morning, and that Haydens words wouldn't echo in his brain anymore.
The next morning, they started the day with a run just like always. Ilya pulled on the shorts Shane had bought him, the ones he knew his husband loved. Maybe it was childish, but he wanted the reaction. He was baiting him, and he hoped he'd get the reaction he wanted out of it.
Shane’s eyes darkened appreciatively the second he saw him. He even smacked Ilya’s ass on their way out the door. He didn't say anything directly, not a compliment, but Ilya didn't miss the way his pupils widened at the sight.
Ilya tried to tell himself it was enough. He could see the effect he had. That counted… right?
After their run, they showered together. Usually, it was full of teasing and chatter. Today, it was quieter. They took turns washing each other’s hair, steam curling around them, as Shane washed Ilyas back.
“Are you okay?” Shane asked gently. “You seem sad.”
“Just tired,” Ilya said, rinsing conditioner from his curls.
“Want to take a nap?”
“Will you nap with me?” Ilya asked, something almost pleading in his eyes.
“Well, when you look at me like that…” Shane leaned in, kissing him.
In bed, Ilya turned onto his side, back facing Shane. That was what gave him away, Ilya was definitely clingy and Shane loved every second of it.
“I’m sorry,” Shane murmured, nudging him. “I don’t believe you, and I can't pretend to. What’s wrong?”
Ilya sat up slowly, “What do you mean?”
“Is it about what Hayden said? You’ve been different ever since.”
Ilya blinked, surprised. It usually took Shane longer to connect the dots.
“I mean… yes. But no.” He exhaled. “I don’t want to fight about it.”
“I won’t.” Shane reached for his hand, thumb brushing across his knuckles. “Just talk to me.”
Ilya searched his face, Shane’s eyes were soft, already glassy with the weight of the moment. Shane never did it intentionally but his eyes were the tell-tale giveaway of all his emotions.
“Sometimes, I think I say sweet things to you more than you say them to me. I never really noticed until Hayden pointed it out. I think, I need to hear those things too.”
Shane went quiet, thinking. He didn't want to say the wrong thing, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt his husbands feelings especially when he was already being vulnerable.
“Shane?”
“Sorry. I was just processing.”
Ilya leaned forward and kissed his forehead, waiting for a response.
“I’ll do better at saying what I’m thinking,” Shane said finally. “I get caught up in physical touch because I thought that’s what you needed. I should’ve asked.”
“I love physical touch too,” Ilya said, wiggling his eyebrows playfully to make Shane giggle.
“Oh, I’m aware,” Shane laughed, kissing his cheek. “Maybe we should take one of those love language quizzes.”
“Another language? You overachiever,” Ilya teased, genuinely baffled by the concept but hoping Shane would explain later.
“What if I start now?” Shane asked, fingers toying with a damp curl at the nape of Ilya’s neck.
Ilya cupped a hand around his ear dramatically. “I’m listening.”
Shane’s expression softened, “I love your eyes. They’re so pretty. And you have the longest eyelashes I’ve ever seen.”
He kissed Ilya’s cheek, which was already turning rosy pink.
“I love your curls,” Shane continued, brushing one back. “The shape of your nose.” He kissed the tip of it. “Your lips. Your cupid’s bow is deep and pretty. And that little beauty mark on your cheek.”
He pressed a kiss to the mole.
“Beauty mark?” Ilya was nearly crimson now.
“That’s what it’s called. You’re very beautiful. Scientifically proven,” Shane murmured, eyes warm and unwavering. "I love your accent too, that's an obvious one though. I love the way you always make sure we are stocked with food and drinks at home, so that I don't have to stress about it. I love the way you check in with my parents when I'm away from the house, or how you pretend to hate watching my shows with me just to be more into them than I am...."
“Okay, okay,” Ilya mumbled, covering his face with both hands. “That’s enough for now, you've proven your point.”
Shane knew Ilya was smiling behind his hands, and he felt better knowing that they had successful had a conversation about feelings without it being weird, or tense.
"I'll do better, I promise. I will be more mindful" Shane mumbled into Ilyas ear, softly nibbling on his ear lobe teasingly.
"Thank you" Ilya smiled, "for being a good husband."
"Takes one to know one" Shane teased, knowing they were going to be just fine.