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Dean still had nightmares about hell, it was like part of him was still stuck there, finding new ways to torture him. Friend’s, family dying or him torturing them, he often woke up sweating, sometimes screaming. People always thought hell was hot but in reality it was so so cold, after those nightmares Dean always woke up freezing and tonight was one of those nights.
Castiel was sitting outside of Dean's door as usual when he heard Dean’s alarm go off which was weird. It was only 2 am and Dean hadn’t gone to bed not too long ago. Castiel had noticed this recently, Dean would go to sleep and get up after about 2 hours of sleep - tonight Castiel was gonna do something about it.
Dean’s nightmares had gotten worse again so he started setting alarms every 2 hours to wake him up, so he either wouldn’t have a nightmare or it would wake him up from a nightmare. He was used to not getting good sleep being a hunter and all but this was miserable, he honestly rather bad sleep and no nightmares then bad sleep and nightmares on top of that but people were starting to notice Cas in particular and Cas being Cas he wasn’t gonna drop it till he got the truth out of Dean.
Castiel had just heard Dean’s alarm go off and he was sick of it, sick of Dean not getting good sleep. It made Cas worry about Dean so he opened Dean’s door, walked in and closed the door behind him.
Dean had had another nightmare, he was sweating, shaking and cold. He was just shutting off his alarm when Cas walked into the bedroom.
”Dean, we need to talk,” Cas said he voice slightly more stern then monotone
“Cas there’s nothing to talk about, what are you even doing in my room” Dean was immediately getting defensive, he knew what Cas wanted to talk about, he knew it was obvious but he didn’t want to deal with it right now.
Castiel stared at the black circles under Dean’s eyes, he just shook his head and sighed. He walked across the room and sat on the edge of Dean’s bed.
”Yes, there is something to talk about and you know it, why do you keep setting alarms to wake you up every 2 hours.” Cas was giving Dean one of his looks, the look that meant he couldn’t avoid the truth any longer.
”Fine, I’ll tell you. I still have nightmares about my time in hell and they got worse again. Ya happy.” Dean was irritated with Cas for calling him out and he knew Castiel would try and heal him.
”No, I’m not happy Dean because you didn’t tell me. I could have helped you if you’d had told me.” Castiel reached up to touch Dean’s forehead but Dean grabbed his hand, which was ice cold.
”I don’t want you to heal me Cas, what if something like what happened with Sam happens again, I care about you Cas. A lot and I don't want anything to happen again.”
”Okay then how can I help, I’m not going to let you keep torturing yourself like this, you’re ice cold. What’s that about?”
“I don’t know how you could help me Cas and the ‘ice cold’ thing, it happens whenever I have a nightmare about hell. Could you not feel how cold it was when you pulled me out of there?”
”No, angels can’t really feel temperature, especially without a vessel.” Dean was still holding Castiel’s hand which wasn’t like Dean at all.
Dean finally noticed that he was still holding Cas’s hand, it was nice and warm helping chase the cold of hell away.
”You’re really warm, is that normal?” Dean had never been in contact long enough with Castiel to notice how truly warm he was.
”Yes, angels when in a human vessel tend to run slightly warmer than your average human.”
Other than his hand Dean was still incredibly cold and desperately wanted to steal Cas’s warmth but there was no way in hell he was gonna let Cas know, somehow he felt colder than he was earlier and started to shiver. Before he could say anything Castiel was sitting next to him and had wrapped his arms around Dean.
Begrudgingly Dean snuggled against Castiel and his eyes started to feel heavy, they stayed like that for a while. At some point Cas had grabbed Dean's phone and turned off any alarms that were set.
Dean was mostly asleep by then, Cas had climbed under the covers and got Dean to lay down, he was getting up to leave when he heard Dean ask him to stay and he did. He slid off his trench coat, took off his tie and climbed into bed.
Even though Angels didn’t need to sleep they still could just like they didn’t need to eat but sometimes did, this was one of the few times Castiel slept but for Dean he would. He cared for Dean a lot, if he was being honest with himself he loved Dean but would never admit it aloud, he didn’t want to ruin their friendship but the more time he spent with Dean the harder it got to ignore his feelings.
It took awhile for Castiel to fall asleep, he was just laying there, at some point of Cas just laying there Dean had rolled over and snuggled his face into the nape of Castiel’s neck, Cas planted a kiss on top of Dean's hair and they both fell asleep.
That was the first time in a long time that Dean had gotten good sleep, great sleep actually and it was all thanks to Cas who was fast asleep next to him. Cas looked so peaceful when he was asleep but somehow Dean waking up caused Castiel to wake up as well.
”How’d you sleep Dean?” Castiel asked, his voice slightly deeper than usual from sleep. That caused Dean to blush, he didn’t know why but it did. He mumbled something under his breath not trusting his own voice.
”What was that?” Castiel raised an eyebrow studying Dean’s face. His cheeks were bright red but Dean didn’t have a fever, he’d be able to tell if he did.
“I slept great, I haven’t slept like that in a long time,” Dean said clearing his throat, he desperately wanted to stay like this - cuddled up against Castiel who was warm, feeling safe for the first time in a long time in the Angels arms - like he could relax and there wasn’t going to be a monster waiting to kill him at every corner.
”We can just stay here if you’d like to Dean,” It was like Cas had read his mind because that’s exactly what he’d been thinking - of just staying, existing peacefully without fear of what might happen next.
”I’d like that, a lot actually. It’s been forever since I’ve felt this relaxed,” Dean said as he adjusted his head so that it was resting on Cas’s chest - it was strangely intimate but the kind of intimacy that Dean craved. Dean craved being able to give up control - he was so used to it at this point that he didn’t know any different. It felt nice but strange and Dean honestly didn’t care anymore, he hadn’t realized how touch-starved he was until this moment - in Castiel’s arms taking in his warmth, listening to the steady beat of his heart, the rise and fall of his chest. Dean was completely at Castiel’s mercy and for once he didn’t mind.
”Dean,” Castiel suddenly spoke, Dean titled his head so he could look at the Angel, “can I kiss you?” It was so quiet - barely audible but Dean heard it. Dean heard all of it, the fear, the want, the nervous, the need of someone who’d been wanting this for a long time but too scared to ask. Dean just nodded, he didn’t trust his voice at the moment. When Cas kissed him it was so soft that Dean barely noticed it at first, Dean kissed back just as softly letting Cas be in control. Cas pulled back just far enough to whisper “I love you, Dean Winchester,” pressing a soft kiss to Dean forehead and Dean whimpered actually whimpered at that. “I love you too, Cas,” Dean whispered back, it felt nice to actually say it aloud after thinking it for years. Castiel connected their lips again and they kissed lazily - at some point Dean had wound up in between Cas’s legs. They just kissed, nothing more for now, it was nice to just enjoy each other, breathing each other in. No more stolen glances, no more silent pleas for the other and they were gonna do this right, Cas was gonna treat Dean right, he was gonna make sure Dean knew this is what he deserved. Castiel was gonna make sure that Dean, his righteous man, knew he deserved to be taken care of to be loved and to not live in fear, of monsters, or his father or anything else that made Dean restless.
They kissed until Sam knocked on the door telling Dean to get up and that breakfast was ready, Cas and Dean walked out together, they didn’t have anything to hide and they honestly didn’t want to. Sam smiled when he saw Cas and Dean together, Dean's dark circles were gone and he seemed lighter, like a weight he didn’t know he’d been carrying was lifted. Honestly Sam was just happy his brother was happy and that it was Castiel of all people (well Angels) making Dean happy.
Things were different after that, lighter, easier, less scary, not as tense as it was before. Dean started smiling again, laughing. It wasn’t perfect, nothing about the Winchesters was - but it wasn’t as hard, the brothers argued less but they still argued like brothers did, they were finally happy and that was all they could really ask for.