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The ship's hum kept him awake, at least that was what he was blaming his restless night. His red optics reflected back to him on the surfaces of his walls, the light catching on the furniture. For the past hour he had given up on recharing entirely and had laid on his berth motionless unsure of what he should do.
A common theme recently he noted. The others had long since closed their doors, trusting Sentinel to keep them safe. Even the vermin's pattering in the vents had ceased, snores being heard coming from down the hall.
Dinobot groaned and got up, unable to stand the nauseating feeling of stillness for a second longer. There was no one around to notice his smooth out features, his usual scowl being replaced by a nothingness.
He walked toward his door, careful to make as little noise as possible, before stopping by his weapons rack. His swords reflected back his optics. The one he had on him wasn't too damaged to replace just yet, there was no reason to grab another. Still, he stared, his digits itching to take a sword with him. He traced the edge of the blade with a claw, shaking his head before exiting his hab.
He stuck to the edges of the hallway, mindful as to not bump into or scrape a pipe or wire. His thoughts were surprisingly silent, his focus entirely on getting off the ship without alerting the others.
He supressed a scoff as he entered in the command to bring him down to the exit, the rat would surely would have something to say if he saw him now.
The night wind hit his face as the door opened. With a deep breath he transformed and started to walk, unsure of where exactly he was going to go.
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Thirty kliks had passed, Dinobot transformed back to root mode before settling himself onto the edge of the cliffside. The night was silent, ever since the alien attack there were less insects buzzing and life as a whole seemed to cease. Though the valley below him was starting to regrow at a surprising pace. Some trees were already recovering and if he focused he swore he could notice some birds starting to build nests. Finally he allowed his thoughts to wander freely.
Dinobot looked up at the sky, light pollution had yet to taint the glittering inkiness. He stared intently as if they would answer the question that he nearly ruined his life over. Somewhere, among those stars, there would be Cybertron, the Maximal's home.
The Maximals would go back to their planet and Dinobot would stay, an even easier decision after his betrayal. He doubted the others would try to stop him this time, even Primal. Something in his circuits clenched at the thought, shame he assumed. If they managed to defeat Megatron then he truly would be alone on the barren planet and perhaps that was for the better.
A chill passed through him as a breeze gently blew against his feathers and his legs dangled over the edge of the plateau. He didn't prefer the cold but the clear air outside calmed something in him. It was the closest thing he could get to peace, something that he did not deserve. But he was a warrior and he knew when rest was needed.
The tension in his struts nearly rivaled the tension in the Axalon. While he did work mostly alone before, now he was all but solitary. He only spent time with the other members during missions or patrol, when the job had been completed he would withdraw to his quarters silently.
What little interaction he had with the others were stilted, aside from the rodent whos banter had now soured into bitterness. Only Cheetor really tried to keep up high spirits but even then it was awkward at best. Rhinox hadn't spoken to him since, only the occasional wordless greeting in the halls or coordinates over comms that was relayed to the whole group. And then there was Primal.
Their long conversations of philosophy had ceased along with it their daily walks. The Axalon commander still greeted him cordially and spoke to him but it felt superficial. His optics reflected a deep sadness that dug at Dinobot's spark. He took in a vent hoping that the cool air would soothe the growing ache in his chest.
The winds shifted as wings flapped behind him, he opened his optics that he didn't realize he had closed. Dinobot stayed seated as the sound of transformation screeched from behind. He turned and gave the Maximal a scorned look.
"Dinobot, what a surprise seeing you here!" Silverbolt boomed. The sound of his vocalizer made him want to roll his optics.
"Yes, the night was peaceful," Dinobot gave a curt response.
The fuzor laughed, "I'd have to agree, the air is quite crisp here."
He attempted to place his hand on the saurian's shoulder only to be met with a snap of sharp dentes.
"And I would like for it to go back to its peaceful nature, so make yourself scarce," Dinobot growled.
"Yes, yes of course, my apologies," Silverbolt answered meekly.
Dinobot turned to continue his stargazing, hoping that the soft winds would take him away. He focused his breathing and shuttered his optics. He read somewhere that meditation was good for the spark, something about relieving tension in the body and allowing one's processor to cool. The nervous shuffling of that Primus forsaken dog interrupted him. With another frustrated growl he turned to face the fuzor who looked away attempting to fein interest at the scenery and intently gazed at the patch of dirt next to him.
"Was I not clear to you, Maximal, that I desire peace?" Dinobot snarled.
"Hm? Oh yes, right, but company is always good don't you agree?" Silverbolt gave a crooked smile, "And besides, you too are a Maximal." Dinobot felt his optic twitch.
"The silence is ruined, I am heading back to the ship," the raptor said shortly. He transformed and began to push past the wolf hybrid.
"Wait!" Silverbolt cried out.
Dinobot looked back with a glare.
"It's just, well, I was wondering if I could consult you on a certain manner," Silverbolt wrung out his servos, his normally righteous voice faltering.
"No," Dinobot responded coldly, preparing to speed away.
Silverbolt growled with frustration, "Please will you just listen to me!" He grabbed the other's tail.
Surprise stopped Dinobot, then anger, how dare he? He quickly ripped away from the grasp, scowling angrily at the fuzor who at least had the decency to look sheepish. He returned to root mode and stared down at the Maximal, his optics burning with disdain. With an invent, Dinobot grit his dentes.
"Oh? And what makes you think this will convince me to help you?" He snarled.
"Forgive me, I overstepped. But- but this is a question of utmost urgency," Silverbolt pleaded, his optics shone with desperation.
Dinobot huffed, "Does this involve our immediate safety?"
"Well, no-" Silverbolt began.
"Then it is not urgent," Dinobot interrupted
"How do you do it?" Silverbolt pushed out quickly.
"...What," Dinobot's frustration morphed to confusion.
"What I mean is, how do you live with yourself knowing that you are of Predacon origin?" Silverbolt continued.
The night stilled.
"You say that word as if its something rotten," Dinobot said at last, his words sharp with a dangerous edge.
"Well it certainly is not something to be proud of," Silverbolt responded with an unfaltering voice, as if he was stating the obvious.
The velociraptor stalked towards the other Maximal.
"Oh? And what do you know of 'Predacon origin'? You were barely a Predacon to begin with!" He looked down on the fuzor, harshly shoving a digit into the other's chassis.
"I know enough. I saw and continue to see their cruelty! You have seen their dishonorable acts yourself!" Silverbolt pushed away the digit, his engines rumbling with growing frustration.
"You cannot judge the entirety of a culture based on the actions of the few," Dinobot argued.
"Few, yes, but impactful. Look at what they have done to this world! What they have done to Quickstrike and Blackarachnia! Their actions led to the termination of Tigatron and Airazor. How could you betray the Maximals for such a disgraceful faction? Have you no shame for your Predacon coding?!" Silverbolt shouted, his wings unfurling. Distantly his own anger surprised him.
A fist collided with his jaw, Silverbolt stumbled back in shock. He looked up to see Dinobot's furious expression, his servo shaking with rage. With a snarl and a deep breath Dinobot bit down his anger.
"Watch your mouth, dog," Dinobot spat out, "If you are here only to remind me of my shortcomings then I will return to back to base as I originally intended. I do not need to waste my breath on you."
Silverbolt's gaze darted away, his face heating up with embarassment.
"I... apologize, I was harsh with my words," He said after a moment, "It's just, well... my original intent was not to antagonize you-"
"You failed," Dinobot crossed his arms.
"I see that, I just... wanted to know," he looked down at his pedes, his brow ridge scrunched in thought, "Once again I am sorry, I did not want to initiate a fight."
"Why, why do you need to know. And answer me quickly," Dinobot demanded.
Silverbolt's helm shot up, locking optics with the other bot. Dinobot's hardened expression looked back at him, urging him to respond. The fuzor sighed, the feathers on his wings ruffling in discomfort.
"My time as a Predacon was... shortlived as you know, I was made to be and always will be a Maximal," Silverbolt started, he straightened up before continuing, "However, the brutality that I witnessed, experiened, and almost took part in still haunts me. As a Maximal it horrifies me to think that I was ever part of such a horrible group."
"You say this as if you have never or intent to bring harm onto the enemy," Dinobot looked unimpressed.
"I understand that we are at war and it is not possible to always be at peace, but the excessive violence is uncouth!" Silverbolt exclaimed, "How easily I fell for Megatron's lies! If I had not seen through them what would have become of me?"
Silverbolt's servos balled into a fist, a snarl threatened to escape him. Dinobot stared at him, deep in thought.
"So- So thats why I wanted, no, needed to ask," Silberbolt concluded at last.
"Your concerns are rooted in guilt then," Dinobot stated, his voice even.
Silverbolt gave a hesitant nod, unsure if he was confirming it for Dinobot or himself. Wordlessly, Dinobot walked back to the edge he previously sat. He glanced back at Silverbolt before lowering himself. The wolf followed, positioning himself next to him. The two sat in silence, the rustling of dead grass filling the gaps.
"You are a Maximal, culturally, in coding, and honor. Find peace in such fact, some are not granted even that," Dinobot said at last, he paused to collect his words, "As much as you are annoying, you have proven your worth."
"Thank you, truly," Silverbolt responded with sincerity, "still, I worry of what I will become. I mean no offense but, you defected to back to the Predacons however short that time was-"
"My defection was a moment of... unfortunate... indesisiveness. A mistake I do not plan on repeating. You do not have the same history as I do with the Predacons so I suggest you stop bringing it up," Dinobot interrupted sharply.
Silverbolt nodded slightly, taking in what the other was saying. Still, he furrowed his brows in thought.
"Quickstrike is... also another reason for my worries. Our beginnings were so similar, both of Maximal coding tricked by Megatron into becoming a Predacon. I fear that the impression that he left on me will somehow manifest! It is an irrational fear, I know, but one I just can't seem to let go of," Silverbolt admitted at last.
His strength seem to leave him, his wings tucked in closer as if to shield him from the outside world.
"How close was I to becoming a sadist like Quickstrike? Had I not seen through the trickery sooner would I have also inherited the cruelty that he seems to revel in?" Silverbolt concluded, with inner turmoil written clearly on his face.
"That bug was made that way, no amount of Maximal coding would have... 'fixed' him," Dinobot broke through the haze, "as for you, well, you are as intelligent as a bag of hammers, but your spark is soft. The Predacons were never a place for you. It is not the coding that defines your character, rather your commitment and honor."
"That... That is very kind of you, Dinobot," Silverbolt blinked with surprise.
Dinobot scrunched his brow in thought. He pointedly did not look at Silverbolt.
"Maximal coding does not make a spark a Maximal, or 'good' however subjective that accursed word is. Yes, it is their heritage and their right, but, it is all too easy to reject such a thing. Blackarachnia and Quickstrike's coding may have been forcibly tampered by the Predacons but this does not mean they were meant for the Maximals," Dinobot continued after a moment, "Or perhaps they are. But destiny is a fickle matter, if or if not its set is.... unclear."
The last part was meant more for himself than anyone else. He shook his head and dawned on another scowl feeling his expression growing weaker.
"The Maximals are not as noble as you believe. They too are decendents of warriors, they too have experienced war. They have the energon of thousands of Predacons on their servos," Dinobot growled, "and of Maximals as well. Something that they fail to acknowledge! They do not speak of their actions, they send you away with the spark of their failures in hopes that you dispose of it. They turn their backs on even their own, it is dishonorable!" Dinobot threw his servos into the air.
Realizing the feathers lining his shoulders and beast mode's head had stood up he calmed himself. Silverbolt watched quietly, more questions forming. This was the longest he'd ever spoken with the other bot.
"Why did you join the Predacons in the first place?" Silverbolt blurted out, pushing his luck during an unpresidented time of vulnerability.
Dinobot silently glared back at him in response, though he hadn't left yet so Silverbolt took it as a sign to continue.
"I would assume your honor would stop you from doing something as petty as theft," he concluded.
"Predacon honor differs from Maximal's," Dinobot said curtly.
Silverbolt stared, urging him to explain himself.
"The Predacons are made up of warrior class, not built to stay idle and rust. We coped, found other places to battle and fight. We adapted like all warriors should. But what good is going into law, philosophy, or construction if we are still disgraced? The Maximals knew that, and they look down at us for it," Dinobot continued after a beat, "Megatron promised us more than survival, he promised us dignity."
He turned and looked Silverbolt in the optics, something shining bright, "Death in battle is honorable, but it is meaningless if you lose. Therefore, it is honorable to do whatever you can to survive as long as you win. I have miscalculated time and time again, which led to countless loses. I have no honor," his optics dimmed.
Dinobot's gaze snapped forward to gaze at the valley before them, finding himself unable to bear looking at Silverbolt after admitting such a truth. And it was the truth, a painful one to admit but a truth nontheless. Shame bubbled up in his tank, his own paranoia blinded him and still he was uncertain of his future but now with the sting of losing the trust of the Maximals.
He was grateful to have purpose now but what about after? When there would be no more battles to be fought? Would he ever regain the honor that he lost? Could he ever regain what he previously took for granted?
"Take comfort in knowing your place in this world, in knowing your purpose. Do not lose that, nothing is worth the trouble," Dinobot muttered quietly.
The wind screeched theough the valley, an echo trailing after it. Dinobot gazed at the steep angles before him as his mind began to blank. Silverbolt shifted slightly, growing uncomfortable in the thick silence. He wrung out his servos, opened his mouth before closing it when no words came out, and grit his dentes. He wasn't used to this from Dinobot. Calm was one thing, defeat was something else entirely, it was unerving.
"Uhm, so... while we're here.. could I ask for your advice on another matter?" Silverbolt asked with fake bravado, desperately trying to think of a question to fill the gaps of silence.
"If it is about the female spider then silence is preferred," Dinobot responded flatly, snapping out of the haze.
Silverbolt's fur fluffed up, "Ah- well then uh, I won't ask," he tapped his claws on the rocky ground below him, "Do you think she can be convinced of joining the Maximals?" Silverbolt blurted out.
Dinobot groaned in annoyance.
"If you ever learned to shut up then perhaps it could be a possibility," he snapped.
The fuzor looked away in embarassment, his ears going flat as a pout began to form. Dinobot glared at the valley, crossing his arms he let the silence envelop them once more. He gave a quick glance back at Silverbolt, who was still pouting. Dinobot scoffed, this was ridiculous, he should've gone back to the ship when he had the chance. He rolled his eyes, but the wolf's dumb expression made him feel something akin to pity.
"You are too pushy with her," Dinobot said at last.
Silverbolt looked at Dinobot with a tilt in his helm.
"Your chivalry is embarassing, I cannot for the life of me understand why you keep bringing up the fact that she is a female. And neither does she," Dinobot clarified.
"I- well! That is- Well that's certainly no way to treat a woman!" Silverbolt stammered out.
"Megatron treats her the same way he treats all useful traitors, with exessive force. By the Matrix he treats her the same way he treats Tarantulas! You are the defective one to keep pointing it out," Dinobot rubbed the bridge of his nose. He truly was as dumb as a sack of hammers.
"Do yourselves both a favor and drop that. If this is the path you want to persue I would suggest a more subtle approach," Dinobot concluded.
"Thank you, uh I will keep that in mind for the next time my lady and I meet," Silverbolt said as his fans whirred in embarassment, "Should I give her a gift?"
"Why are you asking me?" Dinobot growled.
"I mean well, you seemed to know what you are doing. And I saw that you gave Primal a flower-" Silverbolt started.
"I am heading back to base!" Dinobot shot up, his fans now whirring as steam billowed out from his vents.
He turned away from the valley, muttering curses under his breath.
"Dinobot!" Silverbolt called out.
The raptor looked back, embarassment still clearly written on his face.
"Thank you," he gave a smile.
Dinobot said nothing as he gave a hesitant nod. He looked away when he transformed before giving a one final glance back at the wolf, who still sat on the edge of the cliff. He shook his head and took off.
The wind continued to howl as it whipped past him, and while it didn't take his shame with it, the tension that had wighed on his spark loosened ever so slightly. At least for tonight he would finally be able to recharge relatively peacefully, though he still wasn't sure if it was something he deserved.