Chapter Text
Adachi stirred in bed, burrowing deeper into his blankets, trying to avoid the ribbons of sunlight creeping through his curtains. He must’ve fallen back asleep because when he opened his eyes again it was much brighter. He reached over to check his phone, where it was charging on the nightstand. It was 7:38 AM, he had two notifications.
Mom: Happy Birthday Kiyoshi!! <3
Tsuge: Happy Birthday.
He was officially in his 30s. Most people would be married or have strong careers by the time they were 30, but Adachi felt exactly the same as he did when he was 22, fresh out of college, not knowing what he wanted to do with his life. He felt like he was running a marathon, with everyone at the finish line and him not even starting yet.
Everyone Adachi had ever met had told him he was boring, and he agreed. No high school clubs or college sports, he’s never even had a girlfriend. He knew he was boring, but it still stung, he didn’t want to be boring, that’s just how he was.
He walked around his apartment, going through the motions of getting ready. Even though he had been living there for 5 years, it was very barren. The walls were a light grey, the only things he had hung up was a coat hanger, and a bulletin board that had remained empty since he put it up. He had a desk that was littered with papers, almost never clean enough to use. His kitchen was small, you could stand in the center and touch both walls at the same time. Dishes from the past week were piled in the sink.
The only thing interesting was his bookshelf; he liked to collect manga and DVDs. The whole thing, floor to ceiling, was packed. He had a lot of shonen manga, he liked the duality of the characters and the art always drew him in. Surprisingly his favorite DVDs were cheesy rom-coms, his friend Tsuge had introduced them to him.
Tsuge was a writer, and Adachi’s roommate back in college. They both were introverts staying in their shared dorm almost all of the time, so naturally they grew close. At first Adachi didn’t understand the appeal of rom-coms, he thought that they were WAY too overdramatized and unrealistic.
But after watching a few with Tsuge, Adachi realized the predictability of them brought him a sense of control, how their emotions were always broadcast across their face.
People were often unpredictable; in the way that you could never know if a person really means what they say. But the over-acting made it easy to understand what the characters were thinking, how every action made them feel. It was a nice escape from reality.
Not to mention Adachi’s closet was a mess, his suit jackets were too big for him. The tie he chose clashed with the color of his jacket, Adachi noticed none of this of course, he thought his clothes were fine, and his perpetual slouch didn’t help with his style either. He made sure he had everything, and said goodbye to his empty apartment and locked the door.
Adachi took the same route to work each day. He walked 3 blocks to the station, took the Yamanote line and got off at the 4th stop in Tokyo. When getting off at his station he takes a detour to pick up lunch for the day, he always gets the same thing, double mayo onigiri. Then he walks 2 more blocks arriving at the Toyokawa building.
His office was on the 17th floor, Adachi worked in sales support, where they managed customer accounts, order processing and complaints. Thankfully he mainly worked with the number/statistics side of sales support, so he didn’t have to deal with customers very often.
As Adachi waited for the elevator his coworker, Kurosawa, came up beside him. Adachi was jealous of how put together Kurosawa looked first thing in the morning. Kurosawa was the opposite of Adachi, he was charismatic, dependable, and very attractive. Almost all of the women in their office have pursued him in some way, however Kurosawa always just brushed them off. Due to this Adachi assumed he had a girlfriend, there was no way someone like Kurosawa was single.
To Adachi, Kurosawa was like the sun, warm, bright and reassuring but unreachable.
“Looks like the elevator just left, shall we take the stairs?”
Adachi, now staring at Kurosawa, couldn't tell if he was being serious or not. “But, our office is on the 17th floor?” Kurosawa laughed, “The exercise would be good for us.” His smile was so bright it was almost blinding. The air grew awkward as Adachi didn’t respond any further and left the conversation at that.
Both Adachi and Kurosawa continued to wait for the elevator, as time passed more people started to surround them, doing the same. When the elevator did arrive, its small cabin was jam-packed with many employees trying to get to their respective floors. What made it worse was with each floor, the whole cabin had to shift to accommodate for the flow of people leaving and entering the elevator.
Right before their floor, Adachi found himself face to face with Kurosawa. “Sorry, are you alright? I got pushed by the people getting off.” Kurosawa said. He was VERY close, their noses almost touching, “...Yea, I’m okay.” Adachi choked out. They both avoided eye contact, with the amount of people in the elevator it was almost impossible to move from their current position.
Kurosawa seemed like the kind of person who would be unfazed by their current predicament, but he looked genuinely embarrassed and at a loss for what to do. Adachi’s mind went blank and before he knew it the elevator had reached their floor and Kurosawa was gone, as soon as the elevator doors opened.
Puzzled, Adachi replayed the last few moments in his head, Adachi knew why he was embarrassed, he had never been that close to anyone's face since, well, ever. But Kurosawa was always so calm, normally this would’ve been something he just bushed off with a laugh, but Adachi had never seen him so flustered. It was odd.
A voice shook him out of his stupor “Adachiiiii,” it came from Urabe Kengo, Adachi’s senior at work. Urabe’s arm wrapped around Adachi’s shoulders, “I heard it’s your birthday? Is it true you’ve never had a girlfriend? Adachii, you should ask one of the ladies at our office out, What about Fugisaki? She's nice, a traditional girl like her seems like your type.” Adachi sped up, trying to escape, giving Urabe an annoyed look. Though Urabe didn’t notice and kept yammering on about how Adachi was wasting his youth and needed to learn how to have fun. Adachi knew he meant well but felt that he was always butting into Adachi’s business, probably to make Urabe feel better about always dumping his work onto him.
Eventually he was able to pry himself away from his coworker, scurrying away to his desk. The office was relatively quiet at the moment as most people hadn’t arrived yet. The walls were covered in their own advertisements and sales quotas they had to meet. Fujisaki, who occupied the desk next to Adachi, greeted him. “Oh! Good morning Adachi-san, you’re early today.”
Adachi wasn’t sure if that was a jab at his usual punctuality or if it was just polite small talk. “Morning.. Um, yea, I woke up earlier than usual.” Fujisaki smiled and turned back to her work.
Fujisaki was quiet and kind, she was always punctual and did her work well. Adachi thinks she was the one he liked most out of everyone in the office. Anytime someone asked him if he had a girlfriend or when he was getting one, he thought of Fujisaki. He didn’t really like her in the romantic sense, but she's the only one he could see himself with when he pictured a girlfriend.
He would never ask her out himself, but if she asked him to be her boyfriend, Adachi would probably say yes.
Urabe walked into the office, mug in hand, after Adachi had left he must've gone to the lounge to make himself coffee. “Oh, Fujisaki-san!” Urabe said as he set his coffee down. “Did you know it’s this guy’s birthday today?!” He shot Adachi a knowing look, like he was doing him a huge favor. Adachi silently cursed Urabe in his mind. “Really? Happy birthday Adachi-san!” Said Fujisaki, Adachi, unsure what to do with this attention awkwardly mumbled, “Thank you. It's not a big deal really.”
Urabe, not getting the hint that Adachi wanted this conversation to be over-replied “What are you talking about! 30 is a huge milestone.” Before Fujisaki had the chance to respond, Adachi, in embarrassment, stood up, way more forcefully than he meant to. Trying to find an excuse to leave, he blurted “bathroom!” and ran out.
After a few minutes, Adachi peered into the office, Urabe was far away from his desk, talking animatedly to someone else. Fujisaki was in the same spot but Adachi didn't think she would bring up their conversation again. He slowly crept back to his desk, trying to be unnoticed. “I’m sorry Adachi-san.” Fujisaki said, looking down at her desk.
Not expecting her to say anything let alone an apology, Adachi couldn’t think of a response. “I knew you didn’t want to talk about your birthday, but I didn’t tell Urabe-san to stop.” Fujisaki continued. She looked at him, her eyes full of understanding and a sadness Adachi couldn't place. Before he could say something, someone called Fujisaki. “Talk to you later.” She said, with a small wave.
The rest of the day went more smoothly, the only conversations Adachi had were about work, and that was how he liked it. Often when talking to other people he would overthink, did they really mean what they said? Did they not actually like him? Were they annoyed with what he was saying? He would overanalyze every word and facial expression that it became exhausting just to make small talk.
The only reason Tsuge and him were friends was because he always said exactly what he meant, leaving Adachi no room to look between the margins of his words, and he was eternally grateful for that. Any other friendships he managed to form quickly dissolved after they got frustrated with his constant anxiety.
Tonight it seemed like Adachi would have to stay later than normal, as he was rushing to meet a deadline that had suddenly been cut shorter. The office was quiet, a sterile sort of eeriness that covered everything in a blanket of calm. The only sounds were a clock, ticking, on the wall, the subtle hum of the vents, and the clack of Adachi’s keyboard. Adachi startled when he heard his name behind him.
He turned to see Kurosawa, “Oh, Kurosawa. I didn’t realize anyone was still here. … did you need something?”
Kurosawa paused, “I– um, I heard it was your birthday.” How did he know that?? Did Urabe go around telling everyone at the office? or was Kurosawa just all knowing? “Sorry, this isn’t much. If I knew beforehand I would've gotten something more.” Kurosawa handed him a can of coffee, presumably from the vending machine in the lounge, it was Adachi’s favorite.
Adachi, surprised, gave Kurosawa a quick “Thank you!” he smiled. Adachi was touched by the gesture but knew Kurosawa would’ve done that for anyone in the office. “I’m heading out now, good work today! …” For a moment Kurosawa looked like he wanted to say more, but he just turned around and left.
Adachi pinched the bridge of his nose, he hadn't taken a break from looking at his screen and his eyes were paying for it, it was around 9:00 PM and the sun had already set. As Adachi packed up his things to leave he saw the empty coffee can that Kurosawa gave him on his desk, it was the only thing powering him through his work these last two hours. He tossed the can into the recycling on his way out.
Even though the sky was dark, Adachi could see storm clouds gathering. The forecast had said it would rain that night. Thankfully, it hadn't started yet so he still had a chance of getting to the station in dry clothing.
A light rain started as Adachi arrived at the station, normally the station wasn't quiet but today it felt blaring. So many voices overlapped each other, it made his head spin. Adachi stumbled onto the train, his ears ringing. He was grateful that there were open seats and that he wouldn’t have to stand. He leaned his head back against the window, willing the train to silence. The train ride felt longer than ever before, he counted down each stop, Yurakucho, Shimbashi, Hamamatsucho, and finally Tamachi, his stop.
He rushed out of the station as quickly as possible, not caring about the rain anymore. It was quieter outside, but his thoughts still felt like they were overlapping, his ears ringing and head pounding. He wanted to go home, to go to sleep, for this to stop.
Adachi breathed a sigh of relief when his apartment building came into view, walking up 3 flights of stairs, and unlocking the door to his lifeless apartment had never made him so happy.
He barely registered changing his clothes, taking a bath and brushing his teeth. Before he knew it he was in bed slowly succumbing to sleep. The last thing he remembers thinking was.. odd, it was something he would never think, but he was too tired to pay attention to it.
The next thing he knew it was morning.