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Ansem had lived in Quadratum for over a year now. It was strange when he first arrived. All he anticipated was darkness. Instead, he awoke in the middle of a park surrounded by towering buildings. A very short man with a thin twisley moustache and dressed in a white kimono stood before him. The elder simply told him that this realm was called Quadratum, that Ansem could never leave and that he had a choice whether or not he wanted to follow what was in the red envelope. Ansem had turned his head away just when the old man started explaining the last part.
When he looked back, all that remained in the old man’s place was the red envelope. Ansem gingerly picked up the thick paper, a bit apprehensive about the ghosting. But he really didn’t have any other information to go off of. He knew nothing of this realm or its rules. When he looked around he couldn’t see any of the other parts of Xehanort. Was the he the only one who arrived here? It wouldn’t be until weeks later did he find out they pretty much all had come to this realm- at least those who had no hearts to regain. They all just woke up in different parts of the city. And with different roles.
Speaking of which. Inside the red envelope contained several pieces of paper in it and a black plastic card. One piece of paper had printed in big bold letters PROFESSOR typed on one side. On the back side was an address. The second piece of paper just had an address with an apartment listing at the bottom. The third piece of paper were some vague instructions.
‘This is your role. Should you seek other endeavors then everything listed in the envelope will be forfeit. Choose wisely.’
Ansem frowned reading this. He looked around. How could such a system be enforced exactly? What was to stop someone from starting “their role” then pursuing something else? Would their residency be stripped away if they were caught? If so, by whom? And who even was assigning these roles? A part of Ansem wanted to shred the envelope in retaliation for such an absurd system. He was just about to when he felt a strange sensation coming from his abdominal regional. He placed his hand on his stomach with a confused expression. It felt like… something inside of him was twisting. Then a low grumbling sound escaped.
Wait… was this… hunger?
Ansem hadn’t experienced physical hunger well… ever. Heartless didn’t need to eat to survive. Neither did the replica bodies. They could eat but Ansem never saw the need to. He looked down at the offensive pieces of paper in his hand. This realm had a lot of unanswered questions. Roaming the streets hungry and homeless wasn’t going to answer any of them. Besides being a professor could be enjoyable. He had a lot of knowledge to share.
It took some time to settle into his new life. A lot of things he had to learn. Basic things like cooking and cleaning. And his syllabus for teaching at the university. That meant he really didn’t have much time left to explore the mysterious this realm had to offer. Then by chance on one rainy day, he happened to bump into a very soggy, very lost Riku. Ansem, in his wildest dreams, never expected to see the younger man again.
And how he had grown. He had gotten even taller now, his shoulders were more broad and even his hair was a little longer. Riku was 18 now which Ansem couldn’t fathom. Had it really been that long? That’s how he came to learn that Sora was also in Quadratum. Ansem had an inkling there was going to be some sort of consequence for Sora abusing the power of waking. He just never thought they’d all end up in the same city. He also found it a little amusing that Riku for him first before finding Sora though he kept that to himself.
Ansem didn’t hesitate to invite Riku to stay with him while he searched for Sora. He realized later he really could have taken advantage of this situation. Demanded a number of things from Riku in exchange for shelter. But Ansem found he no longer had such a desire to manipulate Riku like that. It was nice having Riku’s willing company. Waking up every morning to have someone to greet him. And someone to talk to in the evening.
Everyday Riku did little things like that, that made Ansem smile. He doubted Riku noticed. He was too preoccupied searching for Sora. Ansem enjoyed what time he got and ignored any thoughts about how fleeting all this was.
The two spent the most time together on the weekends; particularly on Sundays. Ansem usually didn’t have to go into the university unless it was exam season. It was now autumn. The weather was turning chilly. Riku was growing more frustrated. It had been months and still no sign of Sora anywhere. It felt like he had searched every inch of this realm but really he had barely scratched the surface. The fact they had to go clothes shopping for warmer outfits was really stressing him out. He hadn’t intended on staying this long. Though he also had no intention of leaving without Sora.
So, Ansem suggested a walk. Riku had a bad habit of holing up in his room and ruminating over all his maps when he got exasperated. And sure, walking could be just as distracting if Riku spent the whole time with head on a swivel searching for Sora. But at least his legs would be getting exercise and he’d be getting some fresh air to his exhausted brain.
There was a path Ansem quite liked. It looped around a few blocks and cut through the park. Had a nice lining of trees so it didn’t just feel like a concrete jungle. There were also quite a few cafes and bars lining the walk offering options if Ansem wanted to switch things. For the most part the pair walked side by side in silence. Riku walked with his head down and arms folded across his chest. Ansem was glad he wasn’t frantically searching though this somber mood was a little disconcerting.
He decided to try something. He slipped his arm through the small crook of Riku’s elbow; hooking them together. Ansem had matched his pace with Riku’s and it seemed the younger man didn’t notice. Or at the very least didn’t react. Perhaps it was improper to take advantage of Riku’s despondent state. Ansem justified it in his head as just making sure Riku didn’t walk into a pole. That’s what he’d say if Riku questioned him.
That question never arose though. The pair were suddenly alerted by a presence manifesting before them. It was a force neither had encountered in a very long time. Darkness. Pure darkness. Three neo-shadows crawled out of puddles of darkness and stared at the two with their beady yellow eyes. Ansem released Riku as he squared up his form. He outstretched his right arm towards the creatures.
“I command thee to disperse at once!” Ansem ordered in a firm, authoritative voice.
“Ansem…” Riku whispered in a worried tone.
The heartless swayed a moment as if contemplating the order. Then they lunged claws first. Ansem barely had time bring his arm across his chest and take a step back. The closest heartless of the three still managed to swipe Ansem’s forearm with its long sharp claws.
“Ansem!” Riku shouted.
Before the heartless could attack again, Riku summoned his Keyblade and took out all three heartless. He turned to check on Ansem once they were gone. Ansem was doubled over in pain, clutching his right arm. Riku couldn’t see the wound but he could see a few drops of blood dripping onto the concrete. Before he could take a closer look, more neo-shadows appeared around them. A horrible realization hit both of them. Ansem was no longer in control of the heartless. And he had no weapon that could defend himself against such creatures.
They were still drawn to the Keyblade though. So maybe… “Ansem, go back to the apartment. I’ll hold them off.”
Ansem looked up at Riku, hesitating a moment. He wanted to argue. He should be the one protecting Riku. Not the other way around. However, in this moment, that was impossible. And a new emotion washed over him. He took a deep breath and nodded. Still clutching his right arm, he turned and ran while the neo-shadows all dove towards Riku.
~*~
It wasn’t until nightfall when Riku finally got back to the apartment. He was a little scuffed up, sweaty, hair disheveled. But nothing a long hot shower and a good sleep wouldn’t fix. It seemed like the neo-shadows just kept coming. Every time he cleared out one batch, another would replace them. It made no sense. Up until now he hadn’t seen a single heartless. And if anything, since they were in the realm of sleep, shouldn’t be facing nightmares? How could darkness get all the way down here?
Maybe it had something to do with him and Sora being there. Like throwing the world balance out of order… or something. He sighed. All of this was giving him a headache. And right now he had other things to worry about. Riku found a messy trail leading to Ansem’s room. His shoes, accessories and clothes just strewn about haphazardly. Ansem was normally a very tidy person. Everything had its exact place. Even dirty laundry was laid neatly in the basket. So to see everything just discarded was very unsettling.
And the blood trail.
It wasn’t a lot but the droplets were quite pronounced. Riku followed the path through the left open door. Off of Ansem’s master bedroom was a balcony overlooking the city. It was quite the view. That’s where Riku found Ansem. He was shirtless, dressed only in grey sweat pants and barefoot. He was leaning against the railing, just staring out into the city with his long hair blowing in the cool night time air.
Riku slowly approached his right side. That’s when he noticed was holding a wad of grey cloth to his arm; likely the grey shirt he usually slept in. Ansem’s normally vibrant orange eyes were hollow with a faraway look in them.
“Ansem? Can I see your arm?” Riku requested in a soft voice.
There was a momentary pause before he lifted the cloth revealing the three dark red scratches cutting across the top of his forearm. His whole arm was inflamed red and the blood around the wounds was going sticky as it dried. Riku sucked in a hiss through his teeth. It looked really bad.
“Shit I should have… wait hold still.” Riku let go of Ansem’s arm and fished around in his pockets. He found a hi-potion and quickly poured It all over Ansem’s arm.
Ansem winced while they both watched the scratches stitch back up. Unfortunately, since it had been left for several hours, three gnarled scars marred Ansem’s arm but at least he was no longer bleeding or feeling in pain. Ansem flexed his fingers, staring at his hand.
“Thank you Riku.” He said quietly, before returning his gaze to the city.
Riku pursued his lip as he craned his neck towards Ansem. “Are… you okay…? You seem… a little out of it.”
Ansem let a long sigh through his nose, debating whether or not he wanted to open up to Riku. Perhaps talking things out would help. He always spouted that advice to Riku so shouldn’t he take his own advice?
“I’m… not sure.” Ansem answered. He glanced over at Riku to gauge his reaction. When Riku still showed interest, Ansem continued. “I never considered my own existence before. When I was a heartless I didn’t need any food or sleep to survive. I just needed to avoid keyblades until you were of age to open the door to Destiny’s Island.”
“Then after that, I never feared perishing because I was part of Xehanort’s plan. And you still had a piece of me inside of your heart. I never sought beyond that. Now I’m here. I thought I knew where here was. The realm of the dead. But then why would I bleed?” Ansem raised his arm to demonstrate.
“Why would I feel hunger? Would I need sleep? Why would I be assigned a role? Am I aging? Or am I eternally bound to this body? Who governs this realm and enforces these rules? If the heartless took my heart today, would I just become a heartless again? Or would I simply die? If so, where would I go then? Do I even have a heart? I have a physical organ that pumps blood through my body but are those the same kind of hearts from our realm?” Ansem sucked in a deep breath, shuddering a little from his ramblings. “There are… so many things I don’t understand… And that… that…”
Ansem couldn’t find the right word to describe how he was feeling. It was new to him. He had never experienced it before. All he knew was he hated it. Made him feel weak and angry. He couldn’t even look at Riku so he just kept his gaze focused on the city; while taking in deep slow breaths in an attempt to calm down.
Riku was quiet for a moment taking in everything Ansem had said. “Yeah… all that is… really terrifying. But that’s just part of life. I mean yes, if I were to be slain by a heartless, I would turn into a heartless and there’s a chance I could be reborn. But there’s also a chance I could slip in the shower and hit my head and die tomorrow. Or try to cross the road and get hit by a car.”
Ansem finally looked over at Riku with a very concerned expression.
“The point I’m trying to make is… that’s just what being human is, we never know when our last day is going to be. And as humans we don’t know what waits for us on the other side either. So instead of worrying about what we don’t know, it’s better just to enjoy life everyday like it were your last.” Riku smiled softly.
Ansem’s expression softened and a little life returned to his eyes. Human huh? “When did you become so wise?” He asked in almost tired, sad voice.
“Oh, somewhere between possessed by an old man and going to war.” Riku teased.
Ansem rolled his eyes and returned to leaning on the railing.
“Actually, I can’t take all the credit for such profound wisdom. That’s something Sora taught me.” Riku admitted. Ansem shot him a frown before he could stop himself. “Hey don’t get me that look. I know you’re not his biggest fan but he can be pretty wise about stuff… He always lived every day to the fullest. Never dwelled on stuff he couldn’t answer. And trust me, there’s a lot he couldn’t answer. He showed me if you focus too much on that stuff… you can lose sight of what’s important right in front of you.”
Riku stared out into the city. Ansem stared directly at Riku.
“Hmm… I suppose I’ll have to consider that outlook.” Ansem finally said, now looking up at the stars to avoid being caught staring.
“Well, I’m gonna take a shower then head to bed. I’m beat. Night Ansem.” Riku said after a few more moments of contemplative silence.
“Good night Riku.” Ansem had replied out of habit. He was thinking about Riku had said. Really trying to process his words. Losing sight of what’s in front of you… Ansem turned, “Riku?”
But it was too late. Riku had already left the room.