Archive of Our Own ^beta

It had been a long way down.

Max ringed Logan for what it seemed to be the thousandth time. Once again, she'd been rewarded by his voicemail, a quick and direct arrangement of words spoken by his delightful voice.

"Hey, it's me," she tried to keep it casual, but then added, "again. Just checking in, uh..."

She let out a frustrated sigh. Why had it to be that much difficult?

Nonetheless, a low chuckle escaped her lips, and she breathed longingly into the phone. "Anyway, if you need anything, you - you know how to reach me, right?" Another sigh. "Of course you do. Umm, Logan, I - I miss you."

As she hung the phone, Max took notice of her surroundings, certainly not willing to let anyone to be aware of her current state of vulnerability. To her favor, her co-workers - if you could say any of them actually worked - weren't much interested in her personal turmoil, so she was left alone with the watery sensation in her eyes.

"Hot run, 3492 West Boulevard!" Normal yelled, shoving the package against the side of her right arm. "Bip bip bip!"

She would be damned if she were to obey that quickly, but didn't feel like facing someone that actually cared like Cindy - even Sketchy, who was disturbingly growing very fond of her fiancé. After sending Normal the best of her glares, Max rode her bike outside and headed to her destination.

Max didn't return to Jam Pony for the rest of the day. In fact, she wandered aimlessly around the city, flashing the Sector Pass that came with the job anytime a certain place bored her.

It was unusual for her, to be in such a condition without heading to the Space Needle. Had she done so the day after she and Logan had come to an understanding about their feelings and made love for the first time, as well as the night after his proposal. But the whole situation was so ridiculous in her head, it didn't deserve her typical approach. Why couldn't he see it didn't matter to her, of all things, the fact he could or couldn't walk? Why was he so obstinate that he couldn't see how whole he was?

He needed time, precious moments of solitude she'd joyfully handed to him. She knew she could only do as much... still, the lack of communication was killing her slowly. It costed her lot of effort to acknowledge there was more in Logan's life than her love and devotion for him - even when such assumption could be reversed as well.

She pedaled past after twilight, but the sense of defeat never wore off.

Cindy paged her around ten. Max didn't recognize the number until she called back, and blasting, deafening music erupted from the speaker. "Boo, ya gotta drag your ass in here - Original Cindy is way too tired of your self-loathing and such dismay. Come an' have sum fun, and first thing tomorro' mornin', ya go to see your sugga daddy."

Something in her words stung her. Max gasped, not quite sure what to make of her friend's proposal. She struggled to find the invitation appealing - and she succeeded.

Her primal instincts demanded her to accept. It certainly wasn't to give up on Logan - she had it very clear, that he was worth all the trouble. But, after a lifetime of emotional detachment, she found the situation very... overwhelming. Her soldier self praised the alternative, labeling it as an opportunity to asset a new approach, an opportunity to learn from other perspectives. Maybe not from Sketchy's, but still...

Max grunted her response into the phone, much to Cindy's delight. "See ya there."

Well, Crash it was.

If she had been on her Ninja, the possibilities of having noticed the Aztek would have been three out of sixty-seven. Slow as she was in the bike, in comparison, she recognized the SUV's outline from afar. It had to be him. It was an uncommon vehicle, after all... and they were its plates.

She stopped abruptly, analyzing her current location.

Elliot Bay.

It was hard not to think about that one time, the playful banter they threw against each other as they froze together in the cold water. It had been a beautiful day, long hours of foreplay and the eventual sweet love-making - at least until Zack's interruption.

She grimaced at the thought. Even in their good times, it seemed something was always between them, and this was not the exception.

Cindy was going to be so pissed after that, but the rules of the game had suddenly changed, Max being offered a move she didn't have before. "No trespassing," she shouted in a heartbeat as she dismissed the memory, walking toward the lone figure standing in the shoreline. "Can't you read?"

His only response was a rueful laugh.

This time, she took off her shoes without his suggestion, despite the reluctance of her skin to feel the coldness of the water. She shuddered and stood at his right, watching intently the dark body of water before them. A mystery was what lay ahead.

"So, I called you a couple of times," she stated quietly, and he stirred, uncomfortable. "Therefore, the answer to your question is: yes, I've been playing neurotic fiancée."

"That's a way to put it," Logan finally spoke, her heart melting at the very sound.

"I'm marrying the last decent man in the world. You can't blame me if I'm worried for his well-being," Max snorted, "which leads to my question: are you all right?"

"Not quite."

A knot formed in her stomach. Now that he'd said it, it meant her worst fears were all true. And even then, she felt relieved. Wasn't that the first step, to admit a problem?

"I guess I shouldn't have let my hopes get that high," he continued. A shadow covered most of his face, but she still could see the pain in his eyes, and wanted to kiss it all away. If there was someone in the world that deserved better, that was Logan... and she felt cursed, guilty of having dragged the man she loved into such sorrow.

His hand reached out for hers, and he gasped at the contact, feeling the unique shape of her ring against his skin.

"I love you, you know," she spoke quietly.

"Yeah..."

"And I wished you could see how perfect you are," Max closed her eyes. "What you've accomplished during this time - chair or no chair - it's more than anybody else could've done."

He snorted. "You're the one doing the entire job."

"I'm merely doing the easiest part," she shook her head. Still holding his hand, she took a few steps, so she could be standing right in front of him. "You - you are the one who cares, Logan. You work so hard, trying to make things better for folks you don't even know. Sometimes I'd like to tell everyone who you are, so they can admire you and look up at you - just like I do."

Logan gaped. "Max, I-"

"You're the most complete man I've ever met," she silenced him, the pad of her thumb absently caressing his lower lip as she leaned up, just a thin layer of air separating their faces. "You're worthy."

She cupped his face in her hands, and their mouths collided in uncanny synchrony. At some point Logan let out a shaky sigh and Max's heart melted and broke at the same time. Because the situation could be easily the other way around - it was less complicated to let their better half out in one's moment of weakness. She whispered something against his lips, but any sound was muffled by the wind and she couldn't care any less. She'd already said everything he needed to listen.

If the wetness on her face was product of his tears or her own, Max couldn't tell. Still, when she planted her toes back in the ground, she opened her eyes after what felt like hours, and caught a glimpse of something entirely new in Logan's features. His emeralds were still clouded with sorrow, but a tingle of hope and content shone from afar. She smiled and he returned the gesture.

She stared a little longer at him, fascinated by the curve of his lips as the concern that'd carried her over the past few days was washed away by the gentle waves of icy water. Speaking of, she was starting to feel an annoying discomfort on her feet. But it was pointless to even bother trying to drag him out of the waterfront, and for some reason, Max understood that Logan would want a last reminder of what it felt like.

Max stayed in silence for a little longer, until he stepped out of the water. She happily followed, then she brushed her lips against his, suddenly bursting out the only thought she hadn't voiced. "We can still go fast, you know."

Logan's lips twitched up, ever so slightly.

Those mutual answers were the only reply they both needed.