Archive of Our Own ^beta

"Who am I?" The boy said looking into the mirror, his reflection staring straight back at him. Pale skin, pale eyes and dark curls that cascaded down his face. The boy fidgeted with his face picking at little blemishes and scratching his face until it bled. He backed up from the mirror, his pale face now bleeding from scratches. That deep red running down his pale cheeks made him sigh. 

Looking down at his wrists, worse than ever. Gaping cuts that failed to heal, failed to stay uninfected. He'd take his blades out again and press them into his skin deeper, it made him smile to watch the blood leak out of his arms. Afterwards he'd wipe them down with a sterile cloth and fall asleep listening to acoustic music with a voice of sadness. 

"Hey R' Get up." A woman with dark hair and olive skin called out to the passed out boy. She ran over to him and bandaged his arms. "Grantaire" she sighed. 

Grantaire peaked out of his hair with squinted eyes. 

" Ponine, thanks. What would i do without you little Magpie?" Grantaire said with a sigh and a smile. 

"You'd probably die." Eponine said with a laugh that almost sounded evil. 

Over the last two years Eponine and Grantaire had become as close as siblings. They now shared a flat downtown by the pier, it was a shithole. However, a shithole they could afford. They were never close friends until Marius ran off with Joly's wife Cosette. The divorce broke Eponine's heart and spirit, Grantaire then shared common woes. They had their own lonely hearts club. Grantaire had no friends left, he distanced himself from Jehan who was now a sucsessful author. They would meet up for coffee when Jehan was in the city, which was hardly ever. 

Eponine cleaned Grantaire's wounds. His skin had become loose on his arm, like that of a well tenderized meat. His body was once again covered in the bruises that were so firmiliar to him. He was completely broke, but Eponine had been looking after him.

"I'm going out to work okay?" Eponine said, she swore to Grantaire that her job was nothing like a usual pier prostitute when really what she did was go out to high class clubs and bars and cling onto some new man. Get money off the rich ones y'know? It worked for her.

"Oh boy, Who're you working with now?" Grantaire asked with a laugh.

"German Klaus, the one with the family in Germany but works in London most've the year. Fashion designer, likes being dominated" She said with a laugh as she got dressed into a nice dress that revealed much of her perfect figure. 

Grantaire just laughed and rolled over to sleep. 

"G'night Grantaire!" she said shoving some confusing sex toys into her large purse and then walking out the door into the misty august night.

Jehan sat in the airport in paris. He was reading wordsworth, not his favorite but he was brushing up on his English Lit. There was a boarding call for his flight so he gathered his bag and got in line. He'd made a great deal of money from his book, he'd published two others shortly after the first. So this was not his first time sitting in first class seating. No longer the ratty poet who wore handmedowns from 'Parnasse's sister, he dressed 'better', still had no sense of style, still looked as if he dressed in the dark. Though he had not become one of the people blinded by money, he had actually become an active member in the fight for human rights. He through ralleys across the countries against hate crimes, telling his story of that night Courfeyrac was shot. He kept his old Prouvaire charm. 

His nose was shoved in the book, planes made him nervous. He prefered the train. At least it was a short trip from Paris to London. Though, since he kept his face hidden in the book he hadn't noticed the firmiliar face that sat beside him.

"Oh my fuck." the firmiliar figure said with excitement. "Jehan Prouvaire!"

Jehan looked over to see the statue. He was gorgeous as usual, his long blonde hair now cut to a more professional look, partially slicked back. His eyes still that shade of stromy tropical ocean. Jehan stared blankly at him. Shocked.

"Its me, Enjolras." The man spoke. "You're looking great." Enjorlas added noticing the poet looked clean, and well put together much different from the last time he'd seen him; he last seen him high on narcotics, crying and cut up everywhere. Enjolras was impressed. 

"thanks..." Jehan said turning down, because, Enjolras could make anyone blush. "Are you moving back to London?" Jehan asked Enjolras. 

"Yes. Terrified, but yes." Enjolras said taking a deep breath in and looked out the window of the plane at the clouds. 

"Same here, I've been gone the last year." Jehan said, he was also terrified of moving back. He missed Grantaire, he couldn't wait to see him.

"Well, maybe when we get back we could go out for coffee or something? catch up." Enjolras suggested, Jehan gave him a smile of approval. 

Grantaire rolled over out of his bed, a pounding headache. Most likely cause being the copius ammounts of whisky he drank last night. He seen that Eponine had been home and she was sleeping on the couch. He thought of waking the girl up, but she needed her rest. So he just russled her messy hair and told her he was going out for a bit.

"come back for supper bro' we'll have family dinner and shit." she somehow managed to both mumble and yell this to Grantaire as he left, he laughed. 

Grantaire felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

"Fuck 'Ponine, what does she want now" he said with a laugh. Though the text was not from Eponine, it was from an old friend.

Bonjour Mama' would you fancy going out for a cup of coffee? I have a special friend coming with me. -3:12pm, Jehan Prouvaire

FUCK YES. You're buying btw. ooh special friend? or business special friend? Should i come dressed fancy? I'm kinda wearing the same clothes you last saw me in and lets just say I haven't changed since you seen me a few months ago lol-3:15pm, Grantaire

Grantaire picked up his speed and began to ran, he was now excited he hadn't seen Jehan since forever. Even then it was just coffee, even now it was just coffee. Grantaire just missed his little poet.

"Who're you texting Jehan?" Enjolras asked the other boy peering over at his cellphone. Then he seen the "Mom" in the contact box. Enjorlas hadn't seen Grantaire since they broke up, and that was one of the hardest things he'd ever done. Ever since then he had regretted never telling Grantaire how that he loved him. Though, that was the past now. 

Though, Just to be safe he decided to get out of there.

"Say, Jehan I should probably go visit Combeferre okay?" Enjolras said quickly. As always, his lies were never detected. Jehan sent him off with a smile and a wave.

Grantaire walked up the steep hills from the harbour to the nicer part of downtown. To a little coffee shop that he new was Jehans favorite, it served french pastries and had flowers there year round. 

Before he could make it in the coffee shop he watched someone from his past leave the same shop. It was his former lover, Enjolras. The only person in the world that could make him believe everything.

No He thought, Don't repeat what you did the last time he kept repeating to himself. The gorgeous blonde walked right past him, not a glance at him, not a flinch. Grantaire was both relieved and a little torn up, but he continued up to the little coffee shop with brambly walls. 

Enjolras sighed, walking down the street. How was he supposed to interact with anyone anymore? He'd fucked things up with Combeferre who wouldn't talk to him without snapping and calling him a slut, Courfeyrac had passed away, he didn't even go to his funeral. So that group of friends probably thought he was some sort of heartless bastard. Then, Grantaire. He'd broken Grantaires heart, and then left the country, moved away, without a single word. He missed the man. His charcoal covered fingers that left marks on his skin when they were intimate. His silly mop of dark hair that fell over his face perfectly. His icy blue eyes that almost broke his heart to look at. 

He quickly turned around and yelled to the dark haired boy. 

"Grantaire!" Enjolras was not sure how this was going to turn out. 

The skinny pale boy just ignored the call and walked into the cafe.

"I never loved you more than when you turned away from me just now. I know I made a mistake! FUCK. get down here!" Enjolras yelled a second time, this time Grantaire hadn't even heard him. Enjolras just looked around at all the people staring at him. 

Enjolras walked to his fathers house, he was the only person in London who probably wanted to talk to him. Coming to that old house brought shivers down his spine, beautiful gothic archeatecture, it was one of the oldest buildings in London major. He walked through the large doors, the doorman greeted him. 

"Welcome back little one!" the doorman laughed and ruffled his hair. This made Enjorlas want to shed the mans blood but he refrained from causing a scene. 

Marble flooring laid across the room, Enjolras could see his reflection in it. He wasn't used to the way he looked yet. He'd only cut his hair the day he flew out, His mother suggested it as a clean start. Enjolras's father walked down his spiralled staircase.

"I was expecting you, Your mother phoned and told me to keep an eye on you." Major said sternly.  Enjolras rolled his eyes. "Oh come now boy, I know you don't have any friends here anymore, I thought maybe we could spend some bonding time." He said with a laugh.

Enjolras joined in on the laugh. By now both men had an understanding they did not get along, they did not share any interests. They bonded by leaving eachother alone.

"As I said, You're lack of friends is troublesome, I'm going to a get together tonight and was wondering if you would like to come. In fact, you are coming. I shouldn't ask." Major said sternly. "go get dressed, that will not do, I one of the workers lay out an outfit for you in your room" He finished and left the room to go to his home office.

Enjolras climbed up the steep spiral stairs to his old room, he hadn't stayed there for so long. There was an obviously expensive three peice suit laying on the bed. Enjolras sighed.

"Fucking capitolists." Enjorlas said under his breath. "I guess I have to look the part of the PM turned socialite business mans son.." Enjolras said looking at himself in the mirror. 

Enjolras hopped in the shower, even the bathroom had marble tiling. He kept the water cold, it was nice in the heat of the summer to have a cold shower, and even nicer after being on a plane for the last day and a half. Enjolras got up and wrapped a towel around his hips, he lauged as it had large embroidery of "MAJOR" written across it. 

Absent mindedly Enjolras walked out of the bathroom that connected to his bedroom and took the towel off until he heard and awkward squak come from the room.

"SORRY MR.LABELLE! I WAS JUST CHANGING THE LINENS" A elderly woman shreiked. Enjolras was quick to pull his towel around himself again, the woman had thrown a sheet over her face. Enjorlas just started laughing, partly at her demeanor and partly to solve the tension.

She joined in laughing.

"Oh, you're nothing like you're father" She said with a laugh and left the room. Enjolras was pleased by that sentiment. The last thing he wanted to be was anything near his father.

Although, once he'd gotten the suit on, once he had combed through his hair. Anybody could tell he was Bartholemew Majors only son. Enjolras had his fathers stern eyes, and statue-esque good looks. His quircky smile however, was from his mother. 

He walked downstairs looking at his dirty sneakers and laughing at the contrast of them with his new suit. Awkwardly he awaited for his father in the foyer of his large home.

"Ah, Enjolras, you look suitable. I say, the fact you don't have a wife yet says a lot about the woman of London." His father said with a smile, Enjolras scoffed. Enjolras had never fully 'come out' to his father, but he thought he would've figured it out by now. As a teenager bringing only boys home, living with Combeferre and then the most obvious time was when his father had walked into the hospital room when he and Grantaire were cuddling. Enjolras just rolled his eyes and followed his father to his....

"A fucking limosine." Enjolras said looking angerly at his father.

"Get in, i'm supposed to look after you. This is how i look after people." His father said closing the door behind the two. 

"so, where are you staying these days 'Taire?" Jehan asked his friend as they were walking along the waterfront, kicking a rock back and forth between eachother. 

"Remember Marius's wife?" He said, Jehan nodded. "Ever since they got divorced she and I have been living together, she's really great. Almost like getting a sister." Grantaire said with a smile, afterall Eponine was in the same boat as Grantaire, abandoned by their own families. 

"that sounds great, she any fun?" Jehan said with a giggle.

"Are you insinuating something? Fun, yes. She can handle her liquer which I admire. I haven't really dated, or even had sex since Enjolras..." Grantaire finally admitted.

Jehan was instantly concerned, Grantaire was usually a very sexual person. Jehan knew that Grantaire liked sex, and sex liked Grantaire. The two usually went well together.

"Hold on." Jehan stopped him. "You're telling me... that you haven't fucked for .. TWO YEARS? SHUT UP!" Jehan's eyes widened and he looked genuinely concerned. 

Grantaire laughed at Jehan's flaming homosexuality, he was waving his arms in the air talking about how important sex is. It was cute. 

"Calm down you, What about you? when was the last time you got down and dirty?" Grantaire said poking at his bestfriends shoulder. 

"EXCUSE ME? Well sir I'll have you know that I had many gorgeous suitors while i was staying in France this summer." Jehan scoffed with a laugh. 

"I missed you so much Jehan. I missed our silly nights out.. say, are you still doing coke?" Grantaire asked casually.

Jehan smiled.

"Nope, I've been clean for a year now, after Courfeyrac passed away I checked myself into a rehabilitation centre down in France." Jehan said proudly. "And 'Taire, you don't have to tell me that you're still doing heroin, I can see the blood through you're shirt on you're arms." Jehan admitted. Grantaire looked ashamed. 

"I've cut down, I don't do half as much as I used to.. can't afford it." Grantaire said with shame. Jehan put his arm around his friend who needed so much comforting. 

"Wanna stay at my hotel room tonight Grantaire? Watch cable movies and order roomservice, its on me!" Jehan said with a smile. Grantaire didn't even need to say yes, they just headed to the hotel for a night of old time fun. 

Grantaire smiled.

"I have big news to tell you little one." Jehan said with a smile. "I'm moving back to london."

Grantaire hugged his friend tightly. Maybe things would start to get better from now on..