Work Text:
I can't believe I'm doing that. I should be with Pai, taking care of our wedding. And now, I have to stand by him and look outraged by the situation if I don't want him to get suspicious of me. That dumbass Yu! I'm saving his ass twice and he still gets caught. I knew it was a bad idea to use that house again. North is an airhead but he can at least remember an adress. How unlucky that he went back! Well... at least the house is sold now... so all the people I took there can't trace anything back to me. Now... back to this moron... he's lucky Prem agreed to take the case. Otherwise, he would have gone straight to jail. Moron! I'm with Pai and Nana now... and that lawyer who looks overwhelmed by the situation. Well... he's here for the legal part but he probably won't be able to say a word : Pai wants to deal with this himself... he's ready to take Yu down.
"Let's begin!" Says Pai.
"Er... Hia Pai... there's this guy..."
"North... don't interrupt!"
"From what I was told," says the lawyer, "I think we can sue him for fraud."
"Does that mean we can take legal actions right away?" Asks Pai.
"Yes... but this will likely become a scandal."
"Once we gather evidence, please proceed right away. Between fame and revenge, I prefer the latter."
"Allow me a question, Khun!"
Prem is always so dramatic! He likes to make an entrance. He's always been like that : waiting until the last minute before making his move. He casually walks to us... he looks his wicked confident self.
"You want to sue him for fraud. On what ground are you accusing him?"
Pai is taken aback. Nana blinks. The lawyer looks lost. Prem smiles and sits down, looking straight at Pai.
"My name is Prem. I'm Khun Yu's lawyer."
"That's what I was trying to tell you, Hia," says North.
"He's a con-artist who coaxed my cousin into marrying him. That should be enough to put him in jail."
"If it was that easy, there would be no need for 4 years of law school."
"Hey!"
"Your cousin was the one who proposed. My client explicitly told him that he did not come from a wealthy background, to which your cousin said he did not mind. Which means that my client had no intention of deception from the beginning."
Pai has no chance at all : Prem is a first-class scammer lawyer. He's going to eat him alive.
"I think renting a fake house was pretty intentional," says Pai.
"But that is not fraud," assures Prem. "My client did not demand anything from doing so, except the peace of mind of his husband and his husband's family."
"It is a fraud. Because he knew that if he impressed me, he would be one step closer to claiming Empire's money."
No, baby... that would be me. North has nothing to do with Empire... you have.
"Is there any evidence of Khun Yu's intention in that regard?" Asks Prem.
"I'm not sure," says North, who looks like he's going to be sick. "But I don't think there is..."
"Khun North!" Says the lawyer. "Please refrain from answering."
This lawyer is not bad : at least he got the reflex of stopping North from running his mouth. Maybe he realized that everything was because of North's gullibility. That's right, dumbass Yu... thanks to me and my lawyer buddy, looks like you're not going to jail after all.
"Wait!" Says North. "P'Yu took 250 million from me!"
"That's evidence!" Says Pai, looking pleased.
Silence falls... even inside my head. What did he say? 250 million... what the...
"HUH?" Screams Nana at the same time as me.
Pai freezes and blinks... and then, he turns his head and looks at North with wide eyes. The lawyer is pinching his nose. Yu is covering his mouth... probably to stop himself from laughing.
"What did you say?" Asks Pai.
"I wrote him a check, Hia," says North.
Are you FUCKING kidding me? A check? Like... a 250 million dowry? That freaking asshole! He didn't tell me that! Damn! He got cash from the start... even before marrying him! This is far beyond a lucky break! You are SO dead, moron! Look at him! He's smirking... trying to be discreet about it. Asshole! Are you really taunting me right now? I hate you! Yes... that's right! Look at that middle finger, you prick! That's for you alright! I can't believe it! Forget North being an airhead... he's the biggest fool ever! Who gives 250 million to a man he just met so they could get married? I'm so mad! Well... at least that's solid gold for Prem who jumps on the opportunity to give the final blow.
"Khun North... did my client specifically ask you to give him 250 million?"
"Er..."
"Khun North, do not say anything!" Says the lawyer.
"Right."
"Yu... explain yourself!" Orders Pai.
"I will explain in his place," assures Prem. "When he was proposed to, my client turned Khun North down. His reason was that their social statuses were too different. Your cousin, then, offered this 250 million by way of leveling their statuses in order to convince Khun Yu to marry him."
The perfect scam. That fucking dumbass pulled the perfect scam totally by chance. I'm with you, Pai... I want to shoot him too.
"North!" Says Pai, clearly not happy.
North is whining... he's pleading with his eyes... he must have realized that he was the dumbest person ever.
"Can we stop?" Asks North. "I can't listen to this anymore!"
"Of course we can," says Prem. "This is a waste of time anyway. If you agree to settle, we'll immediately drop this matter."
"No!" says Pai. "I insist on pressing charges."
"My client finally agreed to enter into this civil contract. He has lived with his husband ever since with no sign of running away. Would you say that's a fraudulent action?"
Give it up, Pai! You can't win against Prem.
"If we can't sue him for fraud.... we'll sue for divorce."
Yeah... good luck with that! Yu managed to achieve what we all plan to achieve : you're not getting rid of him any time soon, Pai. Well... we'll see how this will fall out. The most urgent thing was to avoid for Yu to be arrested on fraud charges... he can manage the rest. Now... I just have to make Pai focused on our wedding. Don't look so pleased with yourself, fucking Yu! I'm gonna get even more money than you once Pai marries me!
The end.