Work Text:
Jaemin has grown familiar with this sight throughout the years of living and working together.
They have finally got home after a long day of practice. Jaemin yawns loudly, slumping down on the couch after finishing the takeout meal they grabbed on their way back. Just what he needed.
He leans his head on the backrest, sighing. His sharp eyes follow Jeno's movements though, who wordlessly followed Jaemin back to his apartment. It's not unusual - quite a normal, daily occurrence at this point actually. Jeno's not eating anymore, not even cleaning up (Jaemin took care of that), but still lingers around the kitchen island. He has an untouched glass of water next to him, attention solely on the screen of his phone, and he looks so at home.
It's domestic, so familiar that it makes a smile tug at Jaemin's lips.
But Jeno's quiet today. There's a small, permanent frown on his brows, one that would go unnoticed by most. Jaemin knows this look on Jeno's face, has seen it enough times to know what it means.
Jeno's other foot is bouncing on the floor where he leans against the kitchen island, teeth biting anxiously the skin of his index finger.
He's overwhelmed. Overstimulated, is what Jaemin actually believes it is. Jeno, who's always so calm and collected - it's how people tend to perceive him anyway. And Jaemin gets it; Jeno is calm. He is collected. But he's also sensitive and sometimes drains out of his social battery very quickly. Sometimes things can get too much even for Jeno no matter how strong and stable he seems to be. He just doesn't like to let it show and prefers to keep it bottled up within himself.
But Jaemin sees through it. He knows Jeno.
He knows the pained look that sometimes flashes on Jeno's face when the members around them are loud and yelling over each other. The way he rubs his face and takes a deep, steady breath, but never snaps. It can be very visible when Jeno gets uncomfortable with noise, lights, even with touch sometimes. Yet, it's usually Jaemin who notices.
"Jen," Jaemin calls gently.
Jeno doesn't hear him. At least he doesn't seem to as he keeps scrolling through his phone. He's zoning out, like he tends to do in the practice rooms when he gets like this.
"Jeno," Jaemin says, this time firmer. Jeno's head snaps up now, and he looks at Jaemin with a confused look, finger still between his teeth. Even now tries to act okay, to hide his discomfort, but Jaemin can't not notice the obvious exhaustion in his eyes.
"Huh?"
Jaemin can't help the smile this time, and pats the spot next to him on the couch, nodding at it. "Come here?"
Jeno looks at him, blinking tiredly. Then he just purses his lips, and turns his gaze back on his phone and pretends he's fine.
Jaemin exhales a laugh.
"Jeno, darling, baby." Jaemin stretches out a hand. "Come here, please."
Jeno glances at him again, and upon seeing the pleading pout on Jaemin's lips he lets out a deep sigh. He drops his phone on the table with a small clatter and pushes himself off it slowly. His moves look sluggish, like he'd rather crash down on the floor and just sleep it off. But instead, he takes shuffling steps towards the living room, approaching Jaemin.
Jeno sinks down next to him heavily and leans his head on Jaemin's shoulder. Jaemin takes it as a green light to touch Jeno, so he's gentle when he grabs Jeno's hand that rests on his lap and threads their fingers together. Jeno doesn't flinch. There was one time when he did, when he recoiled hard after Jaemin had only set a hand on his shoulder. It had startled them both and it nearly threw Jeno over the edge he had already been toeing. Jaemin had to talk Jeno out of a panic attack that time and learned afterwards to pay close attention to Jeno's body language. It was also the first time Jeno opened up to him about it.
"What's up?" Jaemin asks, squeezing Jeno's hand. He tries to catch Jeno's eyes, but gives up when Jeno seems more comfortable hiding behind his fringe.
Jeno doesn't reply, and Jaemin doesn't push him either. If Jeno wants to talk, he will, but in his own time. Sometimes he just needs a moment of quiet and peace to sort his head out.
"Do you want a hug?" Jaemin asks instead, and feels relieved feeling how Jeno nods against his shoulder.
Jaemin smiles and opens his arms to scoop Jeno into a tight embrace. Jeno melts against him, and he leans forward until they both fall down on the couch.
Jeno pillows his cheek on Jaemin's chest and Jaemin can feel how the tension bleeds out of Jeno's body, how his limbs relax when he lets out a long exhale.
Jaemin's hand lifts to bury his fingers in Jeno's hair, to mindlessly scratch his scalp. He stares at the ceiling as he listens to Jeno's breaths, content in the silence that falls into the apartment. The air humidifier hums softly in the background and there are faint, muted sounds coming from the traffic outside.
But they're here, with each other in their safe little bubble. Jaemin could get used to it.
"'M sorry…" Jeno mumbles against his hoodie after a few minutes of silence.
Jaemin's hand stills in Jeno's hair and he leans his chin down to look at the older. "Why?"
Jeno huffs out a soft breath, and Jaemin can see his frown deepening.
"For being so…" Jeno starts, searching for the right word. "Dramatic."
Jaemin can feel himself frowning before he lets out a disbelieving laugh.
"You call this dramatic?" Jaemin asks, rubbing Jeno's back with his other hand. "You're silly."
Jeno just sighs again, fingers fiddling with the fabric of Jaemin's hoodie.
"You're okay, I promise," Jaemin says, pressing a kiss on Jeno's forehead. "You're not being dramatic."
Something flashes across Jeno's face, something considerably more vulnerable and almost sad. Jaemin cups the back of Jeno's nape and leads his face into his neck.
"I just feel stupid…" Jeno utters, voice muffled. "I'm tired of getting so worked up over nothing."
Jaemin feels warm realizing that Jeno feels safe and comfortable enough to talk to him about it, like he knew that Jaemin knew. But on second thought, he hopes Jeno doesn't feel the need to explain himself because he thinks Jaemin finds his behavior odd.
"It's okay," Jaemin repeats his earlier words. He'll keep saying it until Jeno believes him. "We had a long and hectic day. It's not stupid."
Jeno doesn't reply and Jaemin can almost feel his frustration. They've had conversations about this before, but Jeno never finds it easy to accept that he, too, has his limits.
Jaemin feels Jeno's eyelashes tickling his neck every time he blinks, and for a moment he thinks Jeno might cry.
"Don't be so hard on yourself. We all have bad days." Jaemin rubs the nape of Jeno's neck comfortingly.
Jeno takes in a shuddering breath. "I just wish it didn't affect my work so much."
"That's fair. How does it make you feel?"
Jeno is quiet for a moment as he thinks. "It's like… all my energy goes into trying to handle the storm in my head. And then I feel suffocated when I can't escape the feeling of everything just being… so much. And then I can't fully focus on what I'm doing."
Jaemin leans his cheek on the top of Jeno's head. He grabs Jeno's restless hand and brings it up to press a kiss against his knuckles.
"Is there anything I could do to help?" Jaemin asks, intertwining their fingers.
"I don't know…"
"If there's ever something, let me know, okay?" Jaemin asks. "You know you can always tell me if you're not feeling good."
"Yeah," Jeno says. "I know."
Jaemin presses his lips against Jeno's head a few more times, before wrapping his arms back around him and squeezing tightly.
"You should go take a long shower," Jaemin suggests. "Then go to bed and sleep in tomorrow. Have a slow morning. How's that?"
Jeno hums, and hugs Jaemin back, just as tightly. "I don't want to get up."
Jaemin chuckles. "Alright, a few more minutes then."
☆☆
A few weeks later their upcoming comeback looms right around the corner. The days tend to stretch longer and get more intense as they try to polish their routine to perfection. Everything has to be ready for the promotional period so they can put their energy and focus into performing.
Long days at the recording studio, endless hours in the practice rooms and that all combined with filming content for the fans - everyone's understandably stressed. And to add to it, they're preparing for a tour at the same time.
"Jeno!"
Jeno snaps out of his thoughts and blinks at the group's reflection in the mirrors. The music stops and Jeno hears tired sighs around him.
"You forgot to switch spots with Jisung again! Get out of your head, some of us want to go home." Donghyuck's strong voice echoes through the room. "This is the third time in a row!"
"Sorry," Jeno breathes out and wipes the sweat gathering on his brow. "I'll get it right."
Heightened tension leads to everyone being on edge. Patience runs short and getting irritated is easier than usual, and they argue sometimes. It's normal, it happens. Jeno can't say he isn't fed up with his mistakes himself.
His head thrums with an ache that was already developing when he woke up in the morning. His scalp feels itchy with drying sweat no matter how many times he rakes a hand through his hair. The lights are so bright they hurt his eyes and his clothes feel sticky and uncomfortable against his clammy skin. He wants to go home. But he needs to get the choreo right first.
They move back to their original spots again, and Jeno feels a gentle hand brushing his back in passing. He looks up and sees Jaemin walking past him, giving him a comforting smile. The touch burns his skin and Jeno hates himself for it.
The music booms through the speakers again, and Jeno bites the inside of his cheek to stay focused, grounded. It's already dark outside and his thighs burn. They've been here for hours. He has to get it right.
He hears his pulse loud in his ears and his eyes stay glued on his reflection. He has to get it right, he has to…
Then he's suddenly bumping into someone and he stumbles on the floor.
It's like a sudden jolt of electricity runs through Jeno's nervous system. He can't breathe.
"Oh, for fuck's…" Donghyuck is rubbing his face, clearly annoyed and moments away from exploding. "What's wrong with you?"
"Hyuck." Mark's voice is calm despite its firmness. "Easy."
Jeno stares the floor, vision swimming. He's never been uncomfortable around his own members but suddenly he feels ashamed to even show his face. His voice sounds unfamiliar to his own ears when he speaks. "I-I need to go to the restroom."
He drags himself up and rushes out of the room into the hallway. His legs feel weak and heavy, and suddenly he feels out of breath. Is he dying? He's surely dying.
He pushes through the door to the nearest restroom and leans on the sink with shaky hands.
What's wrong with you?
Jeno wishes he knew. His vision blurs with burning tears as he tries to force his lungs to work properly. He can't keep acting so… careless. He's supposed to be the captain of the team, not someone who crumbles under pressure when he should be the one to cheer the other members on.
He takes a shaky, ragged breath in but the oxygen doesn't stick to his lungs. This shouldn't be happening to him. He should already be used to the tight schedules, busy days and comeback periods at this point.
The door behind him creaks open, and Jeno's quick to rub the wetness from his stinging eyes.
"Jen."
It's Jaemin. Jeno holds the heels of his palms against his eyes, unable to face the other. He feels his whole body trembling against his will and he hates to be seen in such state. He leans his elbows on the sink and buries his face in his hands.
"Can I touch you?" Jeno hears Jaemin asking. He already feels himself nodding before he stops and shakes his head instead. He isn't sure. He really isn't.
Usually, physical touch would make him feel better. It's comforting to know he's not alone and there's nothing he loves more than being held when he's not feeling his best. Jaemin is literally the safest thing he can think of. He's always warm, the weight of his arms something Jeno recognizes with his eyes closed.
But now he doesn't know if he can take more sensation to the mess he's trying to make sense of. It's like his senses have been turned up a notch and his brain can't keep up with it all. He feels like he's stuck in his crawling skin but floating away from his outlines at the same time. He needs space but also something to ground him, and it makes him panic because he can't find logic in how he's feeling. He doesn't know how to make it better.
Jeno hears steps behind him, and he feels himself tensing up in anticipation. Will the touch burn again? Will it push him over into the darkness and make him break apart for good and all?
"I'm going to touch you head, just a little bit." He hears Jaemin's gentle voice.
Jeno holds his breath, squeezing his eyes shut, but instead of anyone grabbing him Jeno feels something being put on his head, over his ears. He winces at first before getting used to the added, even weight and pressure.
Headphones, his mind helpfully supplies. But nothing's playing from them, it's just quiet. Like a weighed blanket of silence being draped over him, tuning out the sounds that felt piercing just a moment ago.
Jeno lets out a relieved breath before even realizing it.
He still feels shaky, still overwhelmed with everything going on around him, but at least it's quiet. It immediately eases the throbbing ache in his head.
When he moves his hands to rub his face, he realizes that the bright, cold fluorescent lights that hurt his eyes just a few minutes ago are turned off, leaving the restroom dark. All the lights are off save for the faint glow coming in from the small window.
Confused, Jeno turns around and faces Jaemin who leans against the wall, carefully observing him from a few steps away.
Jeno hears something akin to a sob leaving his mouth, his face crumbling as he watches the other, his worried face and the way he keeps his distance.
"What's wrong with me?" Jeno asks shakily, the tears he managed to swallow back forming in his eyes again until one's already escaping and rolling down his cheek. This has never happened to him before, and the fact freaks him out even further.
Jaemin's face softens as he pushes himself off the wall. He takes a step towards Jeno but doesn't crowd his space.
"Nothing's wrong with you," Jaemin says, his voice muffled through the headphones Jeno has on his head.
Jeno feels his lips quivering as he stares at Jaemin's face in the darkness. "I'm messing everything up."
Jaemin's shaking his head. "You're not messing up, Jeno. You're stressed and it's okay. No one's mad at you."
"I can't be stressed, I can't get like this when we only have a week left and -"
"Sshh," Jaemin hushes him and reaches out his hand, giving Jeno the option to grab him or back away from it.
Jeno looks at Jaemin's open palm through his tears, and squeezes his own hands into tight fists briefly. Then he lifts his left hand and hesitantly moves to set it on Jaemin's warm palm, testing.
Jaemin's fingers close slowly around his hand, not too tight or restricting, and Jeno feels immediately anchored. The touch doesn't burn anymore, doesn't feel like million ants crawling under his skin. It's a warm and stable sensation, one that's tethering rather than distracting.
"Let's sit and breathe for a moment, okay?" Jaemin brushes a thumb across Jeno's knuckles.
"Is Donghyuck mad?"
"Don't worry about that right now. Just focus on breathing with me."
And Jeno does. He lets Jaemin guide him towards a closed toilet seat and suddenly he's sitting down with Jaemin squatting on the floor in front of him.
"Deep breaths," Jaemin says, his free hand settling on Jeno's knee. Jeno follows the simple instruction and concentrates on filling his lungs with deep inhales.
The silence along with the darkness definitely helps clear the fog in Jeno's head and things no longer feel so unbearable and prickly.
It's strange how well Jaemin reads him and seem to always know what he needs. At this point Jeno's sure Jaemin knows him better than Jeno himself does. Somehow Jeno didn't even think about finding a quiet and dark place to calm down, it didn't occur to him that it would be so helpful. But Jaemin knows everything and thinks about everything and somehow he always does the right things. The thought almost amuses Jeno as he looks at Jaemin's dark hair and even darker eyes.
They sit together for a long time, just breathing and holding hands. Jeno closes his eyes at some point, blowing out even breaths until the tight knot in his chest starts to ease and his shoulders relax.
He opens his eyes to Jaemin leaning his head on his knee, and Jeno feels his heart stuttering.
He lifts his free hand and buries his fingers in Jaemin's messy hair. The strands are soft as he threads his fingertips through them, and Jeno sighs.
"We're going home," Jaemin says, his sudden voice surprisingly clear through the headphones. Jeno frowns and moves the headphones off his other ear anyway.
"Huh? But -"
"No, Jeno. Rest is just as important as practice." Jaemin lifts his head from Jeno's knee but doesn't let go of his other hand.
"But… Jaemin," Jeno tries.
"You're exhausted, Jen. So am I, so is everyone else. It's not productive nor is it beneficial, we all saw it."
Jeno stares into Jaemin's determined eyes, considering his words. He's right, Jeno knows he is. He just can't stop feeling guilty for slowing them down.
"Don't beat yourself up for it. You'll be able to do so much better when you're well rested, you know that. You need to take care of yourself first. We talked about this, it's okay to admit you're not feeling good."
Jeno feels a lump forming in his throat again, the sting returning to his eyes. He knows Jaemin's right, he'd say the exact same thing if Jaemin was in his place. Something about admitting it to himself feels so difficult though, but Jeno assumes he just has to grit his teeth through it. So he pushes his guilt aside and nods, swallowing thickly.
Jaemin smiles, satisfied seeing him nod. "That's my Jeno."
Jeno bites his lips to stop himself from crying again. He pulls Jaemin closer from his hand until he can wrap his arms around the younger's broad shoulders.
Jaemin straightens up from the floor and pulls Jeno into an embrace, arms tight around his middle.
"Thank you, Jaem…" Jeno says, his voice quiet, not quite steady enough yet.
"Don't thank me," Jaemin replies lightly, nuzzling his face into Jeno's neck. "It's my job to take care of you."
Jeno huffs out a soft laugh. He knows Jaemin's trying to lighten up the mood, but Jeno's genuinely grateful for him. "Thank you for taking care of me, then."
"Oh, baby," Jaemin coos, pulling back slightly so they can look at each other. It makes Jeno shy for a brief moment and he ducks his head to avoid Jaemin's piercing eyes.
"Cute," Jaemin chuckles, and presses a kiss on Jeno's cheek. "Of course I'll take care of you."
Jeno just leans his head on Jaemin's shoulder, inhaling his familiar scent. He wishes he could just stay like this, have Jaemin all to himself without a care in the world.
"Come home with me," Jaemin says, almost whispers as he sways them gently from side to side.
Jeno merely hums in agreement, closing his eyes for a few more minutes. They probably have to face the members again before leaving, and the thought alone makes Jeno's stomach twist with anxiety. He knows he's usually the one to hold his feelings in check, never showing the pressure building in him until he's all alone. Showing this side to everyone makes him nervous. It almost feels like reintroducing himself after all the years of working together.
It seems like Jaemin is thinking about the same thing.
"Do you want to come with me to get our stuff?" He asks, a light hand rubbing Jeno's back. "Or would you rather wait here?"
Jeno blinks his eyes open and stares into the dark restroom, thinking about it. He can't keep running away from his own team endlessly. They're his friends and he works with them daily, so he knows he has to learn to trust them more. Maybe it'd be better to just pull the band-aid off quickly and face his friends now rather than later when he's already back to building the protective walls around him.
"I'll come with you."
☆☆
Going back to the members was nerve-wracking and for a moment Jeno felt like he was about to throw up, but it seemed like no one was questioning his earlier behavior. Jaemin held his hand all the way back to the practice room and no one even batted an eye to the fact that Jeno's face was blotchy red and he was suddenly wearing headphones.
Everyone was busy gathering their stuff, ready to call it a day. Jeno was pretty sure Jaemin had informed everyone to not cause a scene anymore. Donghyuck hugged Jeno quickly when they were leaving and apologized for snapping at him earlier.
Jeno knows they'll probably have to talk about today later, but thankfully it wasn't happening tonight.
Instead, Jaemin brings him back to his place, like he's been doing often these days. Or maybe it's Jeno who just sticks with him and follows him around like it's a routine.
Nonetheless, Jeno feels comfortable at Jaemin's home. It's cosy and warm, and it has Jaemin's presence written all over it. Jeno likes it.
They shower and grab a quick snack. Jeno still isn't feeling completely himself, his body drained from everything that happened earlier. He isn't hungry and doesn't really feel like eating but Jaemin insists. And Jeno's bad at arguing with Jaemin, so in the end he eats if only to please the younger.
When Jeno falls on Jaemin's soft bed, his mind is reeling again. Not in a anxious way, he's just trying to figure out what happened. He's feeling surprisingly okay despite being so near to a complete breakdown just a few hours ago.
Maybe it just needed to happen that way and he just had to get the stress out of his system somehow. It would make sense.
"I can hear you thinking all the way from the bathroom," Jaemin says once he appears at the bedroom door, fingers patting a product on his glowing skin. He has no shirt on and Jeno has to fight to keep his eyes on Jaemin's face, as if he hasn't seen him shirtless countless times before. It feels weirdly intimate like this though.
Jeno scoffs. "I wasn't thinking that much."
"Weird. Those gears in your head are just loud, then."
Jeno rolls his eyes and turns under the soft blanket, facing away from Jaemin. "Goodnight."
Jeno hears Jaemin's deep laugh before the mattress dips behind him, and then Jaemin's arms are already around him, his chest pressing flush against Jeno's back. The warmth of his bare skin seeps through the fabric of Jeno's t-shirt and it makes his ears grow hot. Maybe Jaemin won't notice in the dim lightning of the room. Hopefully he won't.
"How are you feeling?" Jaemin asks, a warm hand rubbing Jeno's stomach as he snuggles himself closer, his nose rubbing against Jeno's ear.
"Sleepy. You're bothering me," Jeno says, but despite his words he grabs Jaemin's hand anyway, holding it against his middle.
"Is that so?" Jaemin chuckles. "Do you want me to give you space?"
"No." It comes out way faster than Jeno intended. He actually didn't mean to say it at all, but he doesn't exactly want Jaemin to back away either.
"Uh huh," Jaemin drawls out, teasing.
Jeno clears his throat, flustered. "I have plenty of space here, you just… happen to be in it too."
"You're sharing your personal space with me? That's sweet," Jaemin says, lips grazing the sensitive skin on Jeno's neck. Jeno tries to suppress the shiver threatening to run down his spine. He really doesn't want Jaemin to go away no matter how red his face is currently getting.
Jeno squeezes Jaemin's hand, looking down at them resting against his stomach. "You've never not been welcome…"
He hears Jaemin's low hum next to his ear and the hand on his middle caresses his stomach through his shirt. They sit in the quiet of the room for a moment, and Jeno starts to think he might've shared a bit too much of his heart after all. Now he can hear Jaemin thinking.
"Was that a confession?" Jaemin asks then, and Jeno hears the smile in his voice. Jeno huffs, glad he isn't facing Jaemin. He wouldn't be able to look at him right now.
"I - no," Jeno utters, but he thinks it's painfully clear to the both of them what he just let out of his mouth.
"Hm," Jaemin backs away a little, until he can turn Jeno on his back. Jeno has to look at Jaemin now after all, and it's just as unbearable as he thought. Oh, his face is burning. But nothing prepares him for what Jaemin says next.
"Move in with me?"
Jeno raises his eyebrows in surprise, eyes widening. Surely he heard that wrong. "What?"
Jaemin grins. "Move in with me."
"Jaem."
"If you're sharing your personal space with me, then it's only fair that I share my own comfort zone with you too."
Jeno stares at Jaemin, bewildered. "You're kidding."
"I'm not! Please move in with me, Jeno."
Jaemin's gaze goes from Jeno's eyes to his lips and back again, and Jeno's mushy brain is back to working overtime to comprehend the situation he's in right now. How did they get here? This is nothing like the dreams he's had, which he'd never actually admit having in the first place.
"Are you serious?"
Jaemin laughs, and caresses Jeno's cheek. "What will I have to do to make you believe me?"
Jeno eyes the look on Jaemin's face, unsure if he's reading the situation correctly.
"Um… kiss me?" He blurts out before he even thinks about it. Jaemin lets out the brightest laugh Jeno has heard all day, and for a terrifying second Jeno fears that Jaemin was joking and he's made a massive fool out of himself.
But then the hand on Jeno's cheek slides down behind his neck, and Jaemin's leaning so close that Jeno's brain finally shuts up. Jaemin's lips are soft and warm when they meet Jeno's, and Jaemin tastes distantly like the berry flavored lip balm he uses. Jeno melts.
He doesn't even register it before his hands are framing Jaemin's jaw, pulling him impossibly closer. This has to be one of those dreams. Or then Jeno lost his mind earlier and is now making up freakishly realistic hallucinations. He's not sure he's complaining.
But then there's a grounding hand on his waist, squeezing, and Jeno's head clears of the clouds. They separate from each other for air, and Jeno stares into Jaemin's dark eyes, disbelieving.
"Oh, you're silly silly," Jaemin grins. "You really never realized?"
"Um, no? You go around smooching everyone!"
Jaemin laughs again. "And invite them over six out of seven days a week so we can sleep in the same bed? I don't know, Jeno."
Jeno groans and pushes Jaemin off him. "Never mind. I'm sleepy again, goodnight."
Jaemin giggles and wrestles back into Jeno's orbit until he can smother him with kisses. To think a few hours ago Jeno could've never been able to handle so much touch whereas now he's completely fine drowning into it, it makes Jeno a bit dizzy. Maybe it's just what Jaemin does to him.
"Didn't you even have an inkling?" Jaemin asks, arm snaking around Jeno's waist again.
"With how difficult I've been acting recently? Not really, no."
Jaemin's hold around him tightens. "Hey. In sickness and in health, isn't that how it goes? Crazy how you think a few weeks could change what's existed for what, years?"
Years? Years?
Jeno's brain takes a while to catch up with the implication, before he turns slowly around in Jaemin's arms and squints. "You're lying."
"Do you take me to be someone who lies?" Jaemin asks, arching a challenging brow. There's that determination in his dark eyes again, one that Jeno knows well not to underestimate. He shouldn't be arguing with Jaemin about this, knowing that he won't be winning. Before Jeno can even think of an answer, Jaemin shoots another burning question.
"Tell me Jen, when did you like me first?" Jaemin asks, the challenge in his eyes turning quickly into mischief. "When was the first time you preferred sleeping in my bed instead of your own? Was it four years ago? Five?"
Fuck Jaemin and his ability to read Jeno. It's ridiculous.
"Shut up," Jeno groans, shoving Jaemin's shoulder. Jaemin giggles, and Jeno feels a pair of lips pressing against his own again. He can't believe he gets to have this.
"Jeno fell first but Jaemin fell harder, they say," Jaemin sighs dramatically. "The fans know what's up."
"Oh my god." Jeno hides his face in Jaemin's chest. "Stop talking."
Jaemin chuckles, but pulls the blanket over their bodies and hugs Jeno close.
They've hugged before, they've cuddled together before too. They've actually been so close that there have been inquiries about it. But somehow this feels so much different than before. To be able to hug Jaemin so freely, knowing there's a mutual affection, it makes Jeno feel more relieved than anything.
"So… will you move in with me?" Jaemin's voice is pleasantly raspy when he whispers into the quietness of the room.
Jeno feels himself smiling against Jaemin's chest. "If you'll have me."
"Good." Jaemin's hand caresses the sliver of skin peeking under Jeno's shirt. "I've wanted you here since we moved out of the dorms. I feel better when you're in my line of sight."
Unreal.
"You could have just asked, you creep," Jeno chuckles. "I've practically lived here already anyway."
"True. I just thought you want your own space, since, you know. I know you need it sometimes," Jaemin says.
"You're included in my own space. I just told you," Jeno mumbles, starting to actually get sleepy in the familiar scent and warmth of Jaemin's bed and Jaemin's arms.
"Good. Wouldn't want that any other way," Jaemin says, the smile again obvious in his voice. Jeno wants to fall asleep to it every night. And to think that maybe he can, now.
"Good," Jeno echoes. "Who would take care of me otherwise?"
The laugh Jaemin lets out rumbles pleasantly in his chest where Jeno has got himself comfortable. Jeno smiles and tangles their legs together. He'll be so happy waking up tomorrow and realizing that Jaemin's with him and the things that just happened were real. Not just his anxious brain making up scenarios in his sleep to make him feel better.
"Hm, you really were sleepy."
There's a hand in Jeno's hair, gently smoothing down the unruly strands. Jeno's cheeks will also hurt in the morning with how much he's smiling.
"Goodnight, Jaem."