Work Text:
Ragueneau’s shop
It was already past noon, but CYRANO found himself in quite the awkward position. One was that the girl he loved had her heart for someone else, and the other was that there was no way for him to cover up his nose’s flaw. He sat on a bench, devastated, burying his face in his hands. The CADETS, however, were as carefree as ever, calling out CYRANO despite his obvious tired expression.
FIRST CADET. The story!
SECOND CADET. Yeah, let’s have the story!
THIRD CADET (rather drunk). Tell us the tale of what really happened at the Port de Nesle.
FOURTH CADET (more drunk). A triumph that could have been calamcalmcalamitous.
CYRANO (exasperated). Very well. My version.
There, then, was the enemy. Here then, was I,
Marching towards them. With my sword drawn to that guy
Their rage pulsed out at me. But I saw its defect
Its defense was not built, like a puzzle left unchecked
And my blade was at their neck, swift as a gale
Too fast for a man to realize the impale.
CARBON. Bravo! That’s what we expected from our poet!
FIRST CADET. More! More!
CYRANO. And I marched along, my gaze unwavering
Those insolent ones were quite quavering
Of some great man, a prince, well able to have at me
Right in the----
CHRISTIAN. Nose.
There is astonishment. CYRANO quakes and glares at the source of the voice.
CYRANO. Who are you, pretty face? You think there’s something wrong with my nose?
CHRISTIAN (hurriedly). No, no, sir, I believe you’ve got me wrong.
CYRANO prepares to draw his sword.
CYRANO. Now let me tell you this. One more word about my perfect nose and your head will be coming down like tears----
CHRISTIAN. Actually, sir, I was about to say your nose was quite beautiful.
A pause. CYRANO lowers his hand and raises an eyebrow, pointing at his nose.
CYRANO. You’re saying
My nose is quite beautiful?
By all means, I’ll gladly take the praise
For those words can let me think for days
Finally, someone can walk through that maze
That stops everyone else from giving me glaze.
CHRISTIAN. You’re skilled at poetry too.
CYRANO (with a proud look). Young man, you sure have the right tastes!
May I ask you for your name?
CHRISTIAN. Christian de Neuvillete.
CYRANO stops, then inspects CHRISTIAN more carefully. Their eyes locked together, and a mutual sensation of something terrifyingly close to romance flared.
CYRANO. Ahem, could everyone please leave me alone with this newcomer for a moment?
The CADETS and CARBON looked at each other for some time, but still agreed to leave. After gathering their belongings, they all leave Ragueneau’s shop.
CYRANO. So, you are the Christian de Neuvillete, I see?
CHRISTIAN. Have you heard of me before? Well, I didn’t think I could become famous in such a short time. I just came here.
CYRANO (in a grim tone). Have you by any chance met a young girl named Roxane?
CHRISTIAN. Ah, Roxane! I saw her once yesterday. She was beautiful, very beautiful indeed.
CYRANO. Well, she’s actually my cousin…
CHRISTIAN. She’s your cousin!
CYRANO. Yes, my cousin.
CHRISTIAN. Has she ever said anything about me to you?
CYRANO. Yes, a lot, actually.
CHRISTIAN. And that is?
CYRANO. She said she loves you.
CHRISTIAN (delighted). Do I have a chance?
CYRANO. Yes, you do. She had asked for a letter to come from you today.
CHRISTIAN (suddenly grave). A letter?
CYRANO. Is there any problem?
CHRISTIAN. Well, this may seem weird to say, but I’m actually quite… illiterate.
CYRANO. Then you’ve met the right person!
I, Cyrano de Bergerac, takes pride in poetry
To write a verse or two would take no hurry
With the features of yours, and those words of mine
Catching a heart is only a matter of time
Someone with a nose not as long, and a voice
that could not be wrong, leaves a woman to no choice
That the sounds of a true deity
Could be heard in their ears.
CHRISTIAN. How----
CYRANO. Spectacular? Marvelous? Or perhaps, phenomenal?
CHRISTIAN. I fear you must be a mind-reader, I was just looking for the right words to say.
CYRANO. Now the final step after the letters
The most fatal and important one so far
Could decide whether your life betters
Under the moonlight and the stars
You ask for one thing…
CHRISTIAN. What is that ‘one thing’?
CYRANO. Simple. A kiss.
CHRISTIAN. A kiss?
CYRANO. A kiss.
CHRISTIAN. Like, on the lips?
CYRANO. What else do you think? Were you trying to kiss her anywhere else?
CHRISTIAN. Isn’t that a bit too quick though? A kiss to the cheek would be fine…
CYRANO. If that pause in your words meant hesitation
Perhaps you have that firing determination
For someone else, I must predict?
CHRISTIAN. No, not at all, my heart belongs to Roxane and Roxane only.
CYRANO. Ah, then how bad could a kiss be?
Is it like setting fire on a tree?
Or to fill a funeral with glee?
CHRISTIAN. You’re pushing me away rather hurriedly----
CYRANO. You must have the wrong idea
For your grace is similar to that of a nymphaea
I simply can’t stand being compared
When my own air is that of a bear
CHRISTIAN. No, don’t say that of yourself.
You have just the right courage of a man.
CYRANO. Really?
CHRISTIAN. I would never lie.
CYRANO. You’re saying, you find me courageous?
CHRISTIAN. It is one of the only words I know how to use.
CYRANO (sadly). Ah.
CHRISTIAN. But you truly are inspiring!
CYRANO (a little happier). Ah.
CHRISTIAN. Could I tell you something else?
CYRANO (monotone). Ah.
CHRISTIAN. Is there anything you can say besides ‘ah’?
CYRANO (snaps back to reality). My sincere apologies
I was a bit lost in your… looks.
CHRISTIAN (flustered). My looks?
CYRANO. Forgive that too. What were you about to say before this?
CHRISTIAN. I-I was going to say that you were perfect.
CYRANO (astonished). Me? Perfect?
CHRISTIAN. Yes! You are the acme of perfection.
CYRANO. You’re learning pretty quick.
CHRISTIAN. Your words are like a hypnosis spell.
In a good way.
CYRANO. And your face is that of a heavenly nymph.
CHRISTIAN. Your nose is a great asset.
CYRANO. And your hair would make anyone fawn over you
Regardless of gender.
CHRISTIAN. You’re beautiful in words.
CYRANO. And your mien is so handsome.
CHRISTIAN. I love you.
CYRANO. I love you too.
CHRISTIAN. May I ask for something?
CYRANO. What would you like, my prince?
CHRISTIAN. A kiss.
CYRANO. Go ahead.
CHRISTIAN takes CYRANO in his arms. They kiss. A long one.
CHRISTIAN. Ah, Cyrano!
CYRANO. Your lips are likes roses
For you’re one that wouldn't say my nose is
Unfitting on me.
CHRISTIAN. I’d hope this could’ve continued forever.
CYRANO. What a wonderful life I’ve had
To have the prince in shining armor
Holding me so tight in his arms
Uncaring for my face
Listening only to my voice.
CHRISTIAN. I’ll protect you.
CYRANO. I’ll stay with you, forever
For me to leave? Never
Would I find someone as heroic as you
One that wouldn’t just say adieu
The moon is only an ornament
For the night is just as turbulent
He smiles fondly at CHRISTIAN.
My panache.
[CURTAIN]