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"The point is," Umemiya's voice was firm yet warm. The leader smiled as one hand reached for Suo's shoulder and patted him gently. "Remember that you're one of us. You'll always have a place here, Suo."
Always. Umemiya's charisma managed to hypnotize everyone around him, for a moment they were all hypnotized and could only smile before then laughter broke out and Suo received another pat on the back. Some of them were so loud and interspersed with annoyed grumbles like "next time don't be so dramatic" or "stop acting mysterious!" but the most dominant was "damn you". Suo responded with a squeaky grin, he managed to dodge just in time before Tsugeura squeezed his neck.
"Okay, I think that's enough." Suo raised his hand and took a reasonable distance from the group of teenagers waiting in line to give him a friendly fist bump. He smiled slightly, "Once again I apologize, and thank you for your help, you are all truly valuable friends."
His remark drew a loud response from the others, especially the first-years, who seemed to take this opportunity to boo and tease Suo. Umemiya strode back into the crowd, standing with his hands on his hips and proudly announcing, "Now that the tension has been kicked, it's time to tackle the hunger!"
The teenagers were boisterous again, but this time they began to fuss over preparing food and drinks to enjoy together. It was then that Nirei quietly withdrew from the crowd. He didn't cling to Sakura or Suo as usual, nor did he join the rest of his classmates. He chose to stand quietly in a corner and listen to the chaos inside his head. It was so crowded and noisy that Nirei felt like he couldn't enjoy the party this time.
Just as Nirei was about to sneak away, Kiryu noticed and called his name. "Where are you going, Nirei-chan?"
Nirei turned and smiled, even though he knew lying wasn't his strong suit. "My mom just texted and asked me to come home early." He tried to sound convincing, fighting back his nervousness as everyone stared at him. "So. I'm so sorry!" He clasped his hands together loudly. "I’m heading home first"
Nirei clearly didn't dare look Sakura or Suo in the eye, knowing they would immediately see the lies in his eyes. So Nirei avoided them as much as possible, and somehow ended up facing Sugishita awkwardly. The tall boy narrowed his eyes with a suspicious frown, but Sugishita was usually like that, so Nirei was quite relieved.
"Alright!" Tsubaki's cheerful voice broke the silence. His hair swayed gently as he walked over to Nirei, smiling and stroking his hair. "Well then, be careful on the way!"
Nirei was pretty sure Tsubaki already knew he was lying, but his senior was probably too kind and didn't want to pressure him. So without thinking, Nirei immediately bowed and said, "Thank you! I’m truly sorry and please excuse me!" and with that, he ran off.
.
Nirei couldn't remember the last time he ran with his mind this mess. It used to be a familiar experience, he would run with a clouded mind and full of fear whenever the bullies bothered him. But it felt like something like that had been a long time. Since entering Fuurin, every time he ran he always had a goal, his thoughts always felt quite clear and focused even though his body movements weren't synchronized, in Fuurin Nirei had a good reason to run. But this time was different, this time Nirei ran without a goal, without a reason, he ran carrying all the anxiety he couldn't translate yet.
Everything was fine. His heart was chanting, and it was true—everything was fine. Suo was back, the tension had subsided, and the worry had faded. The blurry outlines of Suo were at least slowly becoming clearer, and the trust between them was growing stronger. Nirei was relieved, truly! He was glad that Suo was okay and could start to open up, even if it was still so thin and would probably take more time, but at least Suo was back with them, with Fuurin. Nirei was grateful for that, but he still couldn't deny the fact that every time he looked at Suo, his heart ached.
"Nire-kun?"
Nirei nearly tripped, but managed to keep his balance and avoid falling on the wet pavement.
"Nire-kun!"
Don't stop. Nirei bit his lower lip as his feet continued to move. Pretending that the voice wasn't there, and perhaps it really wasn't, that voice was just an illusion that arose in his own mind.
"Nire-kun! Wait!"
Don't look back. Don't listen. Real or not, Nirei really didn't want to meet the owner of that voice.
"Nirei—"
"AKIHIKO!"
His voice was clear and high, then a hand grabbed Nirei's arm. As gentle as a gust of wind, yet as swift as an arrow, the figure stood directly in front of Nirei, looming like a wall blocking his way.
Nirei could feel the heat burning in his lungs. He hadn't even realized how far he'd run until he felt the rapid throbbing of his blood vessels in his ears. He could feel the burning heat all over his body, from his fingertips to his entire face. Nirei's gaze fell to the ground, fixed between his shoes, and he had no desire to look away.
Suo's fingers were still wrapped tightly around Nirei's left arm, " Nire-kun... " Suo's grip tightened, but Nirei still refused to look back at him. "You ran so fast, I almost couldn't catch up."
Nonsense. Nirei snorted. Suo could be 30 minutes late and still beat Nirei when he ran. Nirei never really ran in front, he was always the one chasing. Whether it was Sakura or Suo, Nirei was always the one limping behind them.
"Nire-kun," Suo's voice softened and her grip on Nirei's arm slowly loosened. "Are you okay?"
Nirei bit the inside of his cheek and pushed Suo's hand away. "I just want to go home as soon as possible."
"Why are you in such a hurry? Is there a problem?"
"None of your business."
Nirei was surprised by how bitter his voice sounded. Perhaps Suo was too, because Nirei could see Suo's shoes approaching him, and Suo's hand carefully touched his shoulder. "Sorry, I didn't mean to cross the line. I just wanted to check on you."
Nirei took a deep breath and let it out quickly. "I'm fine. You better hurry back, they're throwing a party for you, you should be there with the others."
"No problem. I told them I'd take you home."
"I can go home by myself. You just go back there."
"Nire-kun, please let me—"
"Go away, Suo-san," Nirei snapped sharply. "I'm NOT going home with you."
The air grew humid, the pressure dropping, and rain was sure to fall soon. Nirei was breathing heavily, unsure why his chest felt so hot and heavy. A cloud that had seemingly come from nowhere continued to press down on him, as if ready to explode in a thunderstorm at any moment.
"You're mad," Suo said, as if translating Nirei's feelings. "You're mad with me."
"I'm not." Nirei clenched his jaw tightly, and then a distant rumble answered him. The sky grew darker, so that their shadows were barely visible.
"Say it while looking into my eye, Nire-kun."
Nirei took a deep breath and slowly raised his head to look at Suo, and that was when he realized that Suo was right.
Nirei was angry with Suo. At the smile the young man gave him just before he disappeared. At the "see you tomorrow" he so easily said, only to then break it. At Suo's promise that they would always fight together. Nirei was angry. Nirei was angry because Suo so easily lied and deceived him. Nirei was angry because he didn't even realize it.
"You're right," Nirei managed to find his voice again. "I am indeed angry."
"Sorry—"
"That's why I really don't want to talk to you." Nirei said bluntly, amidst the drizzle that had begun to fall. "We'll talk later. If you'll excuse me."
"No!" Suo grabbed Nirei's hand and held it tightly. "I don't want to have a single problem with you, Nire-kun."
"Don't worry, you can have a thousand problems with me and I still won't be able to harm you. I'm not a threat to you, Suo-san."
"That's not what I meant." It should have been impossible for Suo to sound frustrated, but he was starting to sound that way. "Let's find some place and talk, okay?"
Nirei pulled his hand away roughly and looked Suo straight in the eye. “I don’t want to talk with you!”
It was a glance, but Nirei could see Suo's pupils dilate in shock. Nirei knew this wasn't fair. Suo was only trying to make things better, but Nirei had responded so rudely. Nirei hated that he was once again the loser.
"Nire-kun, please... I'm sorry. I'll explain everything, I'll answer everything."
"You don't have to explain anything, Suo-san." Nirei forced a smile. "You don't even have to apologize."
"But,"
"The problem is me, not you." Nirei managed to say, swallowing down every ounce of his weakness. "I'm angry with myself for not understanding my friends. I'm angry for not realizing your true circumstances. I was so disappointed that I felt disgusted with myself, and then I took all my anger out on you."
The rain intensified, soaking Nirei's hair and clothes. It was the same weather as the day Suo first disappeared.
"You can be mad." Suo said softly as if trying to calm him down. "You can be upset with me."
Nirei stared at Suo's face, now soaked with rain. His bangs clung to his forehead, almost covering his eye patch. Nirei wanted to curse himself for getting Suo drenched in the rain, he wanted to curse himself for making Suo have to deal with his unstable and childish behavior.
"I can't be mad at you, Suo-san." Nirei said, shaking his head weakly. "I'm mad at myself for not being a good friend, one you could trust and rely on. I'm mad that I focused too much on Sakura-san and tended to neglect you. I'm mad for being so naive and thinking you were a part of me and couldn't possibly leave. I'm mad because I only realized how much I missed you when you weren't by my side. I'm mad because I realized that you could leave at any moment and that I wasn't important enough to you."
"That's NOT true." Suo's voice was sharp and direct. He held Nirei's shoulders firmly. "You've always been my biggest hitch, Nire-kun. I could ignore everything, abandon everything, but I had to fight tooth and nail not to reply to a message from you. I could look away from everything, but could never take my eyes off your footsteps from behind, waiting for your back to slowly move away and disappear at the intersection. I could close my eyes to anything but you, Nire-kun."
The rain was getting heavier and Nirei's heart was getting more and more sore as he started to want to believe that Suo wasn't lying.
"You don't need to comfort me, Suo-san. I may be weak and stupid, but I know my place."
"I'm not trying to comfort you. I'm confessing my feelings. And you're not weak at all, neither stupid."
Nirei opened his mouth but no sound came out. He took a deep breath and covered his face with one hand, unable to look at Suo any longer. His entire body trembled, and no matter how hard he tried to hold back his tears, they still spilled. That's when Suo stepped forward and hugged him.
Their bodies were wet from the rain, but Suo's hug felt so warm. His arms wrapped around Nirei, embracing him and gently rubbing his back, just as Suo always did to comfort him.
"I'm sorry," Suo whispered. "I promise I won't leave you again."
"I don't want to hold you back," Nirei said, but his body said otherwise as he hugged Suo tightly. "I don't want to slow your steps."
"You never slow my steps, Nire-kun. You strengthened it." Suo stepped back slightly and cupped Nirei's face in both hands, his eyes staring deeply into his. "Sakura-kun is the sun, and I know that you are one of the many planets that revolve around him. But I am your moon, and you are my world. I am bound by your gravity, and revolve around you. And on one brief occasion or two, I don't mind waiting for an eclipse. A brief moment when you can see me longer than the sun."
Nirei laughed and cried at the same time. "Can you just say it normally? You don't need to bring up solar system material at a time like this, Suo-san."
Suo laughed back and hugged him again. "I love you, Nirei Akihiko. I'll say it in a thousand normal and abnormal ways. I'll say it until you truly believe it."
Nirei's heart was pounding. But this time it wasn't from anger, but from the happiness that welled up in his chest. He took a deep breath and hugged Suo tighter. "I love you too."
.
Nirei opened his eyes and it took a few seconds to realize he had just been dreaming. He smiled and giggled to himself, then felt a gentle caress on his hair.
"Morning,"
Nirei looked up slightly and smiled at the man whose arm had been resting on his head. "Sorry, your hand must be numb."
The man laughed softly and kissed his forehead. "You can sleep with your whole body on top of me and I'll feel nothing but bliss, Aki-kun."
"You're so corny!"
"Hey! I'm just trying to be romantic."
Nirei chuckled and then lifted his head slightly to kiss Suo's cheek. "I was dreaming."
“Mind to share?"
"I’m dreaming about that day."
Suo smiled. "Ten years ago, huh?"
Nirei nodded, his fingers playing with Suo's hair. "You used to say that I'm your world and you were my moon. Is that still the same now?”
Suo caressed his face gently then planted a kiss right on his lips. "No.You're not just my world. You're my entire universe, Akihiko .”