Chapter Text
Moka is not a morning person. This is a well known fact amongst the people around her. Her friends know not to wait up for her on the walk to school because more often than not, she’ll be running late. Today is no different.
She’d gotten up a whole twenty minutes after her alarm, barely had enough time to change and get ready before she hurried out the door without a breakfast. A decision she would likely regret by second period but all she’s concerned about right now is getting to school on time.
Moka sees her almost immediately, waiting at the corner of the street, violin case in hand, not a strand of hair out of place.
None of her other friends are there, which means Minju had probably waited for her. Her assumption proves to be correct, as Minju spots her walking down the street and waves.
“Morning,” Minju greets, far too bright for 8 in the morning.
They fall into step together as they begin to walk to school. It’s only a fifteen minute walk but they were going to have to make shorten that to 5 if they wanted to be in their seats before the bell rang.
“You don’t have to wait for me, you know,” Moka says, feeling a little guilty that she’s dragging Minju down with her.
Minju, at least, doesn’t look too annoyed or upset. She’s wearing that same soft expression that’s not exactly a smile while still radiating the same energy as one. “I know, but I wanted to,” she says simply with a shrug.
Moka laughs, shaking her head fondly. “I don’t get why you insist on walking all the time. Didn’t you get your license last summer?”
“Yeah, but if I drove...I wouldn’t get to walk to school with you.”
“The heck?” Moka snorts. “Do you like the exercise or something?”
Minju runs a hand through her hair. “No,” she says. “It’s just the only time I get to talk to you.”
Moka quiets, unable to argue with that. Sure, they might be close friends but they were still from completely different worlds. Minju was a top student with an esteemed family and well-known in their school for winning many violin competitions. Moka was...just a regular person. She might slack off a little more than the people around her, and she certainly isn’t as popular as Minju.
Because of that, Minju is often busy with school work, spending lunch in the student council room or with other friends. It had always been like that but since starting their last year of high school, it seems like she’s gotten even busier. Now, they hardly even speak throughout the day. So it’s true that these walks to school are often their only chance to talk.
Moka tries not to think it but sometimes she wonders why Minju even tries. Compared to others, Moka isn’t someone worth keeping by her side. She has nothing to offer, other than mediocre company and free baked goods from her grandfather’s bakery.
She knows it’s dumb to think like that. Minju isn’t the type of person to think about things that way, she wouldn’t hurt anyone and she knows that, and yet, she can’t help the spike of anxiety she feels every morning, wondering if today was the day Minju got tired of waiting for her. She’d look up one one day and find the corner of the street empty.
She is, admittedly, more relieved than she should be everytime she sees Minju in the morning, waiting for her, because it meant she still cared and that really did mean a lot to Moka.
“Well,” Moka says with a laugh. “Don’t get mad at me when we’re both late.”
Minju smirks at her. “Who said anything about being late?” A hand wraps around her wrist, gentle and warm, and they both take off running.
*
Moka has not run since elementary school, so when she’d suddenly ran all the way to school, her body was in no condition for it. Sure, she made it to school on time, but she’s also certain that she’s actively dying on the spot, tasting blood in the back of her throat as her uniform sticks to her back uncomfortably. This must be what hell feels like.
She shoots a glare at Minju who looks perfectly fine. Which is so unfair because last she remembered, neither of them were particularly athletic to begin with.
“Told you we’d make it,” Minju says with a smug grin.
Moka’s eye twitches. “I think I’d rather be late than do that again,” she mutters, stealing Minju’s water bottle and taking long gulps from it.
“You should get out more,” Minju comments when Moka hands her bottle back. “Sitting at home all day isn’t good for you.”
“Hey, I do get out,” Moka snaps. “I get out a lot, actually.”
Minju rolls her eyes. “Okay.”
“You don’t believe me.” Moka narrows her eyes.
“It’s not that I don’t believe you, but I know you and I simply have a hard time believing that you do–”
“Hey Minju.” The deep timbre of a new voice immediately turns Moka’s blood cold.
“Oh, hey.”
Kim Leehan is a friend of Minju’s since childhood apparently. And it made sense. The boy was just as perfect as her, good grades, charming looks. They’re basically their school’s two top students and as a result, attract quite a bit of attention considering they’re good friends too. Everyone either thinks they're dating or going to get together by the end of the year. Moka doesn't favour either of those possibilities.
Despite being close with Minju, she’s never gone out of her way to be friends with Leehan. It was more that they never had much chances to talk, but Moka would be lying if she wasn’t a little salty about him.
Someone like him who actually deserved to stand beside Minju. Someone worth her time, someone who knew Minju better than she ever would.
And they spend a lot of time together both in and out of school, since their families are friends and he’s on the student council too. What’s not to be jealous of?
“I’m gonna go sit,” Moka says to Minju, quickly leaving the conversation with a bit of a sour taste in her mouth.
“You know you don’t have to run everytime he’s there,” Yunah comments when she sits down.
Yunah is a friend she’d made back in first year, loud and boisterous as she was. She’s still that way now but she’s also annoyingly attentive and it’s a little unnerving to be a subject of.
“He’s pretty nice once you get to know him.”
Moka knows that Leehan probably isn’t a bad person. Honestly, he seems the exact opposite. She just had a harder time getting along with some people. She wasn’t like Yunah after all. She wasn’t very fun or exciting to talk to. She got in her head a lot, needed time to open up. And also, she just doesn't like Leehan. Sure she barely speaks to the guy but she just doesn't. Gets ticked off just looking at him.
“Sounds like you could learn a thing or two from him, after you so rudely ditched me this morning.”
“You texted us that we could leave!” Yunah gapes.
“That doesn’t mean you should’ve actually left!”
Yunah scoffs before she’s giving her this weird, suggestive look. “At least you two got some alone time.”
“What?” Moka asks, genuinely confused with her tone. It sounds implicit, but what the hell would she be trying to suggest with that? “You mean Minju and I? Uh, yeah, I guess it was nice. But then we started running and that wasn't as nice.”
“You–” Yunah closes her eyes and sighs. “Why would you run? We both know that you’re not a runner! Are you trying to join the track team or something?”
“What– No!” Moka exclaims, baffled at the sudden onslaught. “We just didn’t want to be late!”
Yunah groans, shaking her head disappointedly.
“Shut up,” Moka says. “If you’d just get your license already, then I wouldn’t have to run to save my attendance.”
“Doesn’t Minju have her license already? Why do you keep pestering me about this when you can just ask her to drive?”
Moka frowns, crossing her arms. “She’s busy. I don’t want to bother her about it.”
“And I’m not?”
“That’s different. I don’t care if you’re busy.”
Jungwon joins them just as Yunah is putting Moka into an honest to god choke hold. “You’re going to kill her,” he deadpans as he takes his seat, brushing his hair back, already used to their antics.
Yunah eventually frees her and Moka can finally breath again. She rubs her neck as she looks over at her friend. “Did you just get here? I thought you and Yunah walked to school together.”
“We did,” Yunah cuts in. “But then he disappeared with a certain Jongseong Park...”
“Yunah! What the hell!” Jungwon interrupts with a red face.
Moka’s jaw drops. “No way, are you serious? Isn’t he in college?”
Jungwon sighs, fixing his hair again, a nervous habit of his. “Yeah, but he came to see me before his lectures.”
“Aw!” Moka gasps. “You know, at first I was worried for you but this Jongseong guy seems like a good dude.”
“Right?” Yunah agrees excitedly. “I totally thought Jungwon was being played but...”
“Okay, what,” Jungwon interjects. “I am perfectly capable of looking out for myself and my heart, thank you very much.”
Moka shrugs with a smile. “You can’t blame us for worrying. He is a little bit out of your league after all.”
Just before Jungwon can lock Moka in her second choke hold of the morning, their teacher walks into the classroom– effectively cutting everyone’s conversation and also saving Moka’s neck from any more wind pipe trauma.
Following him is a new student, a lanky looking guy with dark, messy hair, the fringe almost covering his eyes.
“Class,” Mr. Jeon begins, his tired, monotone voice filling the room. “We have a new student joining us for the rest of the school year. Would you like to introduce yourself?”
Everybody’s eyes turn to the new kid. He almost looks alarmed under all the attention. “Um, I’m Han Taesan. I like...basketball.”
You could hear a pin drop with how quiet it is in the room.
“Alright, Taesan,” Mr. Jeon continues after an uncomfortable pause. “Take your seat over there.” He points to an empty desk next to Moka. So that’s why they brought that in all those weeks ago.
Taesan moves to his desk without another word, sitting down, head lowered.
Mr. Jeon clears his throat, trying to gather the class’ attention again after they’ve all erupted in whispers. “Picking off where we left off,” he says, turning toward the blackboard.
*
At lunch, Moka’s sitting with her friends when she notices Taesan looking for somewhere to sit. He seems like a quieter guy. Hadn’t spoken a word since he sat down in class and had somehow evaded the crowd that had formed at his desk at breaks by disappearing to the washroom until the next class started.
Again, she isn’t really the type of person to be interested in others and for all she knows, Taesan could like being alone. But she feels a little bad for him now. He reminds her of herself back in first year before she met everyone.
She’s standing up and marching over to him before she can really think better of it.
“Hey,” she says with more confidence she’d ever had before. “Want to sit with us?”
Taesan looks at her, then to the table she was pointing to, back to her. He looks like he wants to refuse, his expression unchanging, but he nods. “If you wouldn’t mind.”
So that’s how Taesan ends up sitting with them during lunch that day. She’d only had the nerve to since Yunah and Jungwon were there, and the two were fairly friendly and outgoing themselves. They had no problem with including Taesan into the conversation, talking and joking like they were already friends.
Moka really is grateful that she got to know them. There’s so much she admires about them, from their effortless ability to connect with others to their personalities and values. Maybe it’s a little presumptuous of her to say since she’s still so young and hasn’t really experienced the world for what it is yet but she thinks she’s found her people.
If only Minju were here...
It seems like Taesan is beginning to warm up to them too. He even smiles once before lunch ends, which makes his face look a lot less scary than it usually does.
After lunch ends and they begin heading back to class, Yunah drags her ahead of the other two. “What’s got you interested in the new kid?” she whispers in her ear.
Moka makes a noise of complaint, shoving Yunah away. “What are you talking about?”
Yunah shrugs, but the grin on her face is all knowing and smug. “This is the first time you’ve gone out of your way to talk to someone, isn’t it?”
“No it’s not,” she rebutes.
“Uh, yeah, it is,” Yunah shoots back. Seriously, there’s no point in trying to argue with her, especially because she’s probably right. “Honestly, I think I see the vision. Broody, dark hair...you certainly have a type.”
“It isn’t like that,” Moka argues, face warming a little. “I’m just trying to be nice!”
“Right right right,” Yunah mumbles. “You know, that’s exactly what Jungwon said about Jongseong, when they first met.”
“Oh my god,” Moka groans. “I’m serious, Yunah. It isn’t like that.”
“Okay, fine,” Yunah says. “I won’t bring it up anymore. For today.”
Moka rolls her eyes. She knew that Yunah would stop if she were truly uncomfortable about it. Truthfully, she isn’t that bothered.
Since their last year of school began, it seems like everyone’s been talking about relationships and dating more and more. Jungwon started seeing Jongseong, and Yunah apparently had some sort of fling over the summer and now they’re sort of on and off dating. Moka on the other hand has nothing to report. She hasn’t even had her first kiss yet, which her friends love to tease her about when the topic arises.
But unlike them, she doesn’t want to give her first kiss away to some random mediocre guy or in a spin-the-bottle game. She wants it to be meaningful, wants it with someone she trusts and loves and can see herself being with forever. Happily ever after and all that.
For how little experience she has, she is a romantic through and through. Not that this is something she’ll ever admit to anyone. As far as her friends are aware, she’s their love averse friend who they come to when their own love lives are a mess.
It’s not like Taesan isn’t a good looking guy though. He is, has that gloomy vibe she knows a lot of girls like. And he seems sweet. At least, he isn’t like some of the other guys in their grade.
Liking Taesan hadn’t even struck her as a possibility until Yunah mentioned it. It’s probably her fault that she’s even entertaining the idea at all. Why she keeps sneaking glances at the boy during class instead of focusing on the lesson. Trying to see this vision Yunah mentioned earlier.
After school, they all agree on grabbing ice cream from the convenience store and hanging out at Jungwon’s.
Moka waits until Leehan isn’t hovering over Minju’s shoulder for once before approaching her. “Hey.”
“Oh, hey,” Minju says, smiling when she sees her.
“Are you busy after school? We’re gonna hang out at Jungwon’s place and check out that new movie on Netflix.” She feels nervous asking this for some reason. Even though Minju has hung out with them countless times before. Maybe its because they haven’t really hung out since the school year started.
“Aw, I wish I could,” Minju says, looking genuinely upset about it. “But Leehan and I were going to study, and then I have violin at 6.”
Moka blinks. “I thought you only had violin on the weekends and on Wednesday?”
“Yeah, but my mom wanted me to practice more since I have a concert coming up soon.”
“Oh. You do?”
“Didn’t I tell you about it?”
Moka tries not to feel upset. Minju doesn’t have to tell her everything about her life. She’s busy so it must’ve slipped her mind to. It still feels bad, like a reminder of how they’ve begun to drift, even if she wants to desperately believe otherwise. “No.”
“It’s at the end of this month,” she says. “You should come. And the others.”
Moka smiles but it feels weak even to herself. “Definitely. Good luck with that, then.”
Minju smiles back. “Thank you. Have fun tonight.”
When she turns to leave, she sees Leehan waiting for them to finish. She can’t help the look on her face– it can’t have been anything nice– as she walks by him. Of course, he’d be better company than her. He studies, actually cares about his grades. She’s a slacker and isn’t good enough to spend time with.
“No Minju?” Yunah asks when she returns to them.
Moka shakes her head.
Yunah wraps an arm around her, the gesture comforting, even though Moka doesn’t know what she’s trying to comfort her for. She’s not upset at Minju for being busy. She isn’t upset at all.
“Hey,” she says. “Do you think Taesan could come with us?”
*
By the time they all leave, its already almost 8 pm. The sky is dark, lampposts turned on, the roads emptier and more quiet than it is during the day.
They walk to their meet up spot at the corner of the street when Yunah leaves, her home in a different direction from hers. That left just her and Taesan.
It was a little surprising when Taesan had agreed to hang out with him, especially since he was still new and didn’t know them that well. He had an unexpected competitiveness, which made watching him and Yunah duke it out on Super Mario really funny. They learned that he’d been playing basketball since he was a kid and that he liked music. He played the guitar in his free time and liked listening to western artists she’d never heard of.
Honestly, things couldn’t have worked out better seeing as all of them were passionate about arts. Yunah and Jungwon were idol trainees for a little and were amazing singers, and Moka was a dancer.
“Where do you live?” she asks. Freezing when she realizes how creepy that is to say out of nowhere. “That sounded wrong.”
Taesan chuckles, which is something else he started doing. Lowering his walls. “It’s alright. I live a few blocks from here.”
“Oh, really? Which street?”
“Pinewood.”
“Wait, I think I live on the street right next to yours!”
“What a coincidence.”
They share a laugh about it before they continue walking until they pass Pinewood street. “Hey, your street,” she reminds him, in case he hadn’t noticed.
Taesan shakes his head. Doesn't stop walking. “I’ll walk you home.”
“Oh,” Moka says. “Okay.”
This hasn’t ever happened before. Being walked home by a guy, that is. Sure, she’d walked home with Jungwon but that was different. She’s pretty sure if someone tried kidnapping her Jungwon would be no help whatsoever. Taesan was at least a good bit taller and looked scary enough.
When they reach her house, Moka stops. “This is me,” she says.
Taesan nods, taking in the home.
"You better not stalk me now," she jokes when he stares.
Taesan looks concerned before he sees her smile and returns one of his own. He shoves his hands into his pockets. “Hey, Moka? I just wanted to say thank you.”
Moka can’t help but laugh, caught off guard. “For what?”
“For inviting me. I know I’m...not that approachable or warm.”
“Hey, you totally are approachable. And warm,” Moka says. “And you don’t have to thank me for anything.”
Taesan smiles, biting his bottom lip. “Okay, if you say so. Uh, yeah, that’s all I wanted to say. Night.”
Moka nods. “See you tomorrow!” She waves, watching him leave before slipping inside.
*
Over the next few days, Taesan slowly integrates himself into their group. He walks with them (or rather, with Yunah and Jungwon most days) to school, eats lunch with them, starts getting involved in their antics, and hangs out with them after school too.
Moka started walking to school alone after their third week of school. Minju apparently caught up with school or extracurriculars and so she has to be there early, as per her text messages at 6 am in the morning. The sharp pain she used to feel at the sight of the empty street corner has dulled to a subtle ache. One that she can ignore if she tries hard enough.
She can't ignore the loneliness though. So much so that she’s started putting in an effort to get up on time, if only to walk with her friends and try to ignore the gaping hole in her chest. It works, for the most part. But Minju’s absence is like a bright neon sign in her heart. She notices it in the quiet pockets of time when she has no one to exchange knowing looks with when one of her friends say something dumb. She notices it in school when sometimes Minju walks by her without saying hi, far too many things on her mind to even notice her.
She hates feeling so upset about it. The fact that she does at all rids her with guilt, how she’s constantly vying for a shred of Minju’s time when she’s already spread so thin. Minju already used to put a lot of pressure on herself but she seems to really be overdoing it lately, even for her.
Earlier before class, she saw Minju taking a nap between classes, which used to never happen before. A year or two ago, she would’ve known exactly why she was losing sleep because Minju would’ve told her why. Would’ve called her in the middle of the night because she knew Moka would be up and they’d just talk until they fell asleep.
It’s so hard to imagine that they were once so close.
Their first conversation in almost two weeks happens one day after school, and its only because Moka literally runs into Minju in the hall.
“Sorry,” she winces, rubbing her shoulder.
“Moka, hi!” Minju says, her smile stopping her in her tracks. “You’re still here?”
It’s half past 3. School had already been let out for some time now and most of the students had left. Moka nods. “Yeah, I had something to do.”
“Come print something with me,” Minju says. “I haven’t seen you in so long.”
Moka feels conflicted. She wants to– god knows she’s missed talking to Minju too, but also she promised Taesan that–
“Moka!”
They both turn to the voice. Taesan is walking over to them, a gym bag slung over his shoulder.
“Are you still showing me to the gym?”
She feels the look Minju turns on her, no doubt confused. Right. It’s been so long since they’ve really talked that she doesn’t even know that Taesan’s her friend now. That Taesan has all but replaced Minju in their group. Moka ignores the eyes on the side of her face.
“Yeah,” Moka says.
Taesan nods, looking a bit awkwardly between the two of them.
Minju gives him a polite nod. Then to Moka, “Find me later, okay?”
“Uh yeah, sure.”
They part ways afterwards, Taesan and Moka walking down the hall to where the gym was. Their school’s basketball team had try outs that afternoon so Moka offered to show him where it was. That’s why she had stayed behind an extra thirty minutes. The building could be a little difficult to navigate if you aren’t used to it and she knew he’d have a hard time finding it without some help.
“She’s in our class, right? Minju?” Taesan asks.
Moka’s mind had been elsewhere and she almost missed his words. “Huh. Yeah. She is.”
“You two are friends?”
“Yeah. Kind of.”
“You're kind of friends?”
Moka sighs. “We are friends. We just...don't talk a lot anymore. She’s just really busy.”
“Oh,” Taesan says thoughtfully.
They don’t speak again until they reach the gym. Moka stops by the door as Taesan steps inside.
“Thanks,” he turns to say. The sound of shoes squeaking against the floor and basketballs bouncing against backboards tell her that they must’ve already started.
“Yeah,” she says, not wanting to keep him too long. “Good luck.”
Taesan smiles before he walks off to the change room. Moka glimpses the gym and spots Leehan doing a lay up. She narrows her eyes just at the sight of him and his perfect form and his perfect hair. She turns before she could see the ball go in and walks into Minju for the second time that day.
“Oh my god,” Moka wheezes, clutching her heart. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
Minju shrugs. “I was finished printing and thought I’d find you first.”
“Okay,” Moka says, trying to calm her hammering heart. “Did you want something?”
“No, I just wanted to hang out with you.”
Moka snorts. It’s probably because Leehan isn’t here so she’s gone to the runner up. At least Minju considered her at all. “Okay. What do you want to do?”
They end up at a cafe, sipping from their drinks idly. The setting sun casts the entire place in an orange-yellow glow. It hits Minju’s face perfectly.
“I didn’t know you and Taesan were friends,” Minju says.
Moka looks up from where she’d been trying to lick the whipped cream off her straw. “Yeah,” she says, looking back down.
“Are you two close?”
“Not any closer than he is with the others.”
“Why did he ask you to show him where the gym was?”
Moka’s cup slips from her hands and lands clumsily onto the table. “He didn’t ask me, I offered,” she mutters. “And why are you asking me that? It doesn’t matter.”
Minju stares at her. “It does if he likes you.”
“What,” Moka frowns. “Stop joking around.”
“I’m not,” Minju says with a shrug. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he did. You two would look good together.”
“Okay, but I–” don’t like him. But Moka finds the words stuck in her throat. Compared to other guys, she doesn’t find him as annoying. She likes hanging out with him, likes listening to the music he recommends and watching him get along with the others.
Sure, she likes Taesan, but does she like like him? She’s never had feelings for someone before, she has no idea what it’s supposed to be like. Is it supposed to feel like this? Easy and reassuring?
“You?” Minju prompts, waiting for her to finish.
Moka finds that her mind goes entirely blank when she meets Minju’s eye. “What about you? Do you like anyone?”
Minju visibly stiffens, blinking rapidly. So it’s true. She does like someone.
“Who is he?” Moka asks, despite having a pretty good clue as to who it is.
“It’s not–” Minju starts, stops, shakes her head. “I don’t like anyone like that.”
Moka pouts, trying to get Minju to tell her more, but the girl refuses to look at her. Shortly after, Minju’s phone rings and she says she has to go. As they’re cleaning up, Moka catches a glimpse of her phone and sees a couple texts from Leehan.
Basketball try outs must’ve ended by now. Of course she’d be the first person he’d text.
Moka keeps trying to shoot her looks as they leave but Minju doesn’t seem to get what she’s trying to say with her eyes. She just smiles and looks away. Always looking somewhere else, anywhere but at her.
I don’t like anyone like that.
Her words drift around in Moka’s head after she’s gone. She turns the sentence over and over again.
Her conclusion?
Minju does like someone. And that someone is irrefutably Kim Leehan.
—----------------------------------------------------------
“I almost told her, Donghyun,” Minju confesses, collapsing onto his bed with her heart practically in her throat. She’s so nervous she could throw up. She’s still nervous. If it comes to it, she’s throwing up all over Leehan’s hideous rug.
“Hm?” Leehan hums, having been on his phone.
“Donghyun,” Minju says. “If you hadn’t texted me, I would’ve told her. She was giving me that look, you know. The one where she looks up through her lashes? I thought I was gonna have a heart attack. It was golden hour too...ugh, she was so cute.”
“Hey, did it ever occur to you that maybe you should tell her?” Leehan says, finally throwing his phone onto the table and looking at her. “We’re in our last year. You’re not gonna get much more chances to do it.”
Minju slaps her face with her hands, trying to cool her burning cheeks down. “You don’t get it. She doesn’t like me back. And if I tell her, I don’t think I could go back to just being her friend either. I’d lose her, Donghyun.”
Leehan sighs. “Well, that’s the beauty of love. You’re either all in or you’re not.”
“Well, I hate love,” Minju declares.
“I’m sure you do,” Leehan chuckles. “So...can I tell you about what happened at try outs?”
Minju lets out a long breath before sitting up and nodding.