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The cold of the early morning embraced Jack in his navy blue coat and cyan scarf as he waited for the bus that will take him to a new life carriying his stuff with him. He was about to finally leave this town that left him so hopeless... And especially a certain someone...
John
God, he couldn't help but despise with his guts how he used to defend that name in a waterfall of tears. Jack didn't knew if he was even worth to hate... Because honestly... He didn't, the man had serious problems, but nobody could save him, nobody besides himself but... There's no one who hates more John than himself.
Jack tried to play the hero, save him from this vicious circle of smoking, not sleeping, not eating and overworking himself to the bone. And reality smacked him so harshly that left a wound that maybe would heal in another place. Another place where John wasn't present...
The lack of people in the bus station created a deafening silence that was broken by some footsteps, Jack just kept spacing out when suddenly someone standed besides him, by the smell of smoke filling his nostrils Jack knew alredy who it was...
"Hi..."
Jack sighed in annoyance.
"Hello.."
He avoided John's gaze, which was directly looking at Jack's eyes.
"So... You're really leaving.."
This was awkwardly annoying, of all times that John could've searched for him, he choosed when he was about to have a new life?
"Yeah..."
But he kept all his rage for himself, not really wanting to let it out now.
"Listen, deputy..."
"Jack, John... Stop calling me like some stranger.."
Jack snapped back, making John fall in silence for a few seconds before rolling his eyes.
"Well, Jack..."
He motioned quotes with his fingers.
"I just wanted to say that... I've really appreciated your presence, and i know I've never showed it... Or i even rejected it... But really, thank you..."
"..."
Jack scoffed.
"Why did i expect an apology?... God, i'm still stupid as hell... But yeah, i think your pride didn't have too much left after that 'thank you'.."
As John listened he started to scowl at how bitter Jack was being, what happened to his deputy?... Well, he was gone for sure.
"Oh, well. Forgive me for finally saying something sweet to you..."
"..."
"Do you really think that's why i'm mad at you?"
Jack finally turned towards John as he crossed his arms, taking off his scarf wrapped around his mouth so John would listen to him better.
"The only thing i've cared about was your health at the point where i left mine's besides... You don't care about anything besides your stupid whim with the cult! Guess what? You'll never stop them! And why are you so infatuated with them, huh? Because they took away your wife and kid?! YOU took them away, bastard! Everything because you're too self-absorbed with being the 'responsible' sheriff!"
John seemed stunned at the sudden yelling, even more at seeing Jack burst into tears, he was choking on them.
"And i'm not done yet. Remember that time why i've opened my heart to you? AND YOU ONLY REJECTED ME BECAUSE OF WORK?!? You're drowning yourself in your own misery, John... And this whole thing won't take you to anywhere... But well, it's not like you'll listen to me anyways! I'm just the dumb, man child who never takes anything seriously, aren't i?!?-"
Jack's monologue was interrupted by John hugging him, Jack's expression softened a little bit at the sudden warmth, a stark contranst from the weather... He heard how heavily John was breathing, like he was holding back something.
Even though the warmth was nice, Jack didn't wanted it anymore, maybe he never actually wanted it... He pushed John away.
"Don't touch me.."
Wheels grinding and letting out smoke like some furious bull, it was the bus.
"... J-jack, listen to me, i.."
The taller man didn't even turn back and entered into the bus until suddenly a calloused hand held his wrist.
"Please... Hear me out, Jack.."
"..."
Jack jerked away his wrist from John's hand.
"What i'm triying to say is... I was ready, John... And i was hoping you'd be too... But i was a fool like always, wasn't i?.."
It was hopeless, why would he give an apology now that he's about to leave?... John just sighed as his expression softened, triying to keep his tears to himself.
"... Okay, if neither of us won't listen to eachother... Good luck, then.."
"... Thanks, sheriff.."
And he just said it like that, like he was a total stranger again.
The bus left, leaving away everyone who preferred to live in their own resentment, while others... Will take a step further towards their future.
Jack didn't cry, he wasn't going to waste more tears in him, and it was hard with the song playing in the radio.
"I'll wait to be forgiven
Maybe i never will
My star has left me
To take the better pill"
The same song resonated in John's head.
"Hey, John, wanna listen to this song? Believe me, it's super sad..."
He said between chuckles, knowing that John was impossible to make him cry, right?
A tear rolled down the brunette's cheek, looking at how that bus took away the only real person who gave a damn about him... He doesn't really remember the lyrics, he only remembers these lines...
"But I just have to tell you that I love you so much these days
Have to tell you that I love you so much these days, it's true"