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"So it's your lips today."
Namjoon glared at Seokjin who looked at him blankly. The elder got up and took out a first-aid box from the cabinet, motioning Namjoon to sit on the couch. After he did so, Seokjin sat next to him and began treating the cut on his lips. He wiped the blood gently with a tissue and poured a small amount of alcohol to a cotton pad.
As he gently dabbed it to the cut, he said, "When will you stop, seriously? This is slowly driving me nuts."
"He's the one that keeps on picking a fight with me. Don't blame me. Blame him," Namjoon answered.
"Oh no, I don't blame him. You're very hot-tempered anyway. The only reason why you haven't punched me whenever I talk shit about you is just because you live in my place."
Namjoon pouted at that. "It's Hoseok's fault! He keeps provoking me!"
"I don't think looking at someone means provoking him, Namjoon."
"That's because he's glaring at me with such contempt and arrogance. If he's just looking at me normally, I wouldn't be pissed, would I?"
Seokjin just sighed. "You really need to meet your soulmate, Joon, so that they can free me from you and your anger problems."
"I don't have anger problems. And I guess it's nice to meet my soulmate as fast as possible, as long as their hobby isn’t lecturing others."
Seokjin shot him a dirty look, "Be grateful that I haven't kicked you out of this place."
"I know you love me too much to kick me out."
"Just see, Kim Namjoon. Karma will follow you."
"Karma doesn't exist."
•••
Namjoon woke up one day with an extreme headache. He thought about staying home that day, but he had to hand in his paper that was worth 50% of his overall grade.
"Fucking piece of shit," he grumbled, moving as slowly as possible in order not to shake his hurting head too much.
"Joon-ah, breakfast!" Seokjin shouted from the kitchen.
Namjoon answered with a grunt as he sat on the dining table. The older then put down a plate of pancake and honey in front of him, before joining to sit in front of him.
"You okay? You look like death," Seokjin frowned.
"Terrible headache," he groaned, "I wish I can skip class today."
"Then stay at home, what if you collapse during class? I will have to drag my pretty arse to pick you up."
"I can't stay home today, there's a very important task," Namjoon sighed, not bothering to respond to the other’s words about his arse as his head felt like it was splitting open.
Seokjin sighed, "just be careful, okay?" Namjoon just nodded as he ate his breakfast.
He had thought that the headache would get better with time, but it didn't. It worsened when he reached his first class, moreover when he saw Hoseok looking at him. He gritted his teeth and looked away, using all his strength not to punch him senseless. Sitting down on his seat, he looked at Hoseok's direction, only to surprisingly find the older male not looking at him anymore. Hoseok would usually look at him for hours until he snapped, standing from his seat and then the fight would start. So when Hoseok wasn't looking at him, he was confused.
And that time, he was the one watching the older man instead. Then he noticed.
Hoseok kept looking at his own left wrist with slumped shoulders.
•••
Halfway through the class, Namjoon almost collapsed. He threw his arms and head on the table while groaning loudly, making everyone look at him.
"Kim Namjoon, any problem?" the professor asked loudly and the others giggled.
"No, it's nothing, professor," he quickly went back to sitting properly.
And that was when he looked at his hands on his lap, noticing some kind of writing on his left wrist. He squinted his eyes to read it properly, moving his hand closer to his eyes.
Jung Hoseok.
Karma did exist.
•••
"Hyung, hyung, HYUNG!!!" Namjoon shouted loudly as soon as he entered his apartment, headache long forgotten.
"Stop being so goddamn noisy," Seokjin groaned, "what's wrong?"
"This!" Namjoon shoved his wrist to Seokjin's face, "this, hyung! This! What the fuck is wrong with this?!"
"Wait, wait, what?" The older grabbed his hand and moved it slightly to get a clearer look. After a few moments, Seokjin just said, "oh wow, look. How wonderful."
"Fuck, hyung," Namjoon pulled his hand from Seokjin's grip, "hyung, what do I do? Did you prank me? Did you write this when I was asleep?"
Seokjin glared at him, "I will not do such a thing, Kim Namjoon."
"Then why?! Why the hell is that shithead's name's here, on my left wrist which is supposed to have my soulmate's name?"
"That's because he's your soulmate, Joon."
"What-soulmate, what-what-why-wha-"
"I'll give you some time alone to think," Seokjin went to his room, walking serenely as if nothing had happened.
Namjoon couldn't sleep that night. He kept thinking about how Hoseok was his soulmate, about how Hoseok was the person that he was destined to be with.
He couldn't even handle being in the same room as the older man, so how could he handle spending his entire life with him?
And so after hours of thinking and not a single second of sleep, he decided.
He would talk with Hoseok about it.
•••
"Let's talk."
The people there couldn't help but to gasp and whisper to each other, because Kim Namjoon and Jung Hoseok, who were known for being sworn enemies, were talking, not fighting. And the gasps were getting louder when Hoseok followed the younger male's way outside the class.
Namjoon led Hoseok to the empty gymnasium, the sound of their footsteps echoing in the large room. He stopped and turned to face the other man who wouldn't look at him. He watched as Hoseok moved uncomfortably, shifting his weight to his left foot.
"You're aware of this, right?" Namjoon lifted his left arm and pointed at the shorter's name on his wrist. Hoseok just glanced at it and nodded, not saying anything.
Namjoon sighed and said, "Look, let's just be direct. Why don't we forget about this soulmate thingy? Let's just continue our own separate lives, not talking to each other and such."
Hoseok immediately looked up to meet Namjoon's eyes, shock evident in his face. "...what?"
"I-I mean," the younger stuttered, "we hate each other, right? We are enemies, so- well, let's just forget about this, okay?"
Then as soon as he finished his short speech, he swore he saw something flickered in Hoseok's eyes. The look soon turned into anger, and Namjoon was shocked with his soulmate's reaction.
"Fuck you, Kim Namjoon." And then he left the gym, running.
Namjoon just stood there alone, dumbfounded. Then he sighed as he covered his face with his palms. Was his decision wrong?
•••
The universe seemed to hate him. He just had to be paired up with Hoseok for his upcoming project. Namjoon was just so fed up, he didn't even know how to face the other male after "the incident". Still, when the professor told everyone to discuss the project with the assigned partner, he couldn't just sit still and do nothing. And so, taking a deep breath, he stood up and went in front of Hoseok's desk.
"What should we do?" He asked, trying to act not so awkward (and failing miserably).
"Whatever you want," Hoseok mumbled, not meeting his eyes.
"Come on," Namjoon sighed, "look at me when I'm talking to you."
The older just peeked through his bangs for a second and then went back to face his book.
"Why aren't you talking to me?"
"I am," Hoseok said, and his voice was kinda strange. He sounded like he was...crying?
"...are you crying?" Namjoon asked cautiously, trying to make the older to face him.
"I'm not," he answered. But his voice was shaking, and Namjoon was not having it. His brain was asking him, though, because, 'since when do you care about him?'
"You haven't been able to look at me since that moment in the gym. Why are you crying? Don't tell me that you actually want to be my soulmate?"
Hoseok then faced him properly, eyes glistening with tears, nose reddening, before gritting his teeth, crumpling a paper and throwing it at Namjoon's face. And then he stood up and ran.
•••
Namjoon was seriously tired. The universe was definitely against him. Why was Hoseok behaving that way? Why was Hoseok crying? Shouldn’t he be happy that he gave them the opportunity to be free of each other? Screw it. Why was he thinking about him so much, anyway?
Sighing, he didn't realize that someone was in front of him. He bumped into him, and the books that the other person had held fell down, making a loud noise.
"Fuck, I'm so sorry," Namjoon quickly picked up the fallen books.
"N-no, I'm sorry too," the other said, picking up the books as well.
When Namjoon stacked the books that he had picked up, he grinned and thanked him. "I'm Kim Taehyung."
"Kim Namjoon," Namjoon smiled.
"Sorry again for bumping into you, I wasn't focused."
"It's okay! I'm sorry too, I wasn't really looking at my surroundings."
Then Namjoon offered to help him bring the books, which he accepted gladly. They walked together to the storage room, chatting animatedly. Namjoon learned that Taehyung was a year younger and him, and that he was an animals-lover. He kept talking about the birds that flew past them, or about the cat that they had passed by, just anything about animals. Namjoon giggled as he thought about how interesting and chatty Taehyung was. But what surprised him about the younger male was their conversation when they reached the storage.
"Thankyou for helping me, Namjoon-hyung," he grinned.
"No problem."
"So you're Hoseok-hyung's soulmate?"
Namjoon flinched at that. He gulped before asking, "You know Hoseok?"
Taehyung smiled, "He's my cousin."
Namjoon just kept silent, unsure of what to say.
"I know about what you said to him, too," Namjoon flinched again, "about not wanting to be his soulmate."
"It-it's not that I don't want to be his soulmate.."
"Can you re-think about it, hyung?" Taehyung looked straight into his eyes, "please."
Namjoon just looked at him, feeling lost.
"I grew up with Hoseok-hyung by my side, you see, and he has went through a lot. He was bullied almost all his life. That's why he learned martial arts and boxing for self-protection. But well, no one expected that he would be a fighter now," Taehyung chuckled. "We have always been together. We’re cousins and best friends, so we trust each other. We tell each other our stories, our problems, just... everything."
"Recently, I found my soulmate," Taehyung pointed at his wrist with Min Yoongi written on it, "and when I told him about it, he was so excited. But I felt really bad." Taehyung smiled sadly as he continued, "I felt bad because I met my soulmate faster than him. Hoseok-hyung has always waited for a name on his wrist, you see, and I reckon that is because he's lonely. He never says or shows it, but he needs someone to love him. I mean, I love him, but only as a cousin and as a friend. He needs someone who loves him dearly, he really can't wait to meet his soulmate."
"But you, his soulmate that he has always been waiting for," Taehyung's face hardened, "rejected him without knowing what he has been through, without knowing who he is inside."
Namjoon's face fell, his heart shattering and stomach twisting in guilt.
It was true. He didn’t know Hoseok at all. He only knew him as his enemy, the guy that kept looking at him provocatively. The guy who he was so familiar with when it comes to fighting, but was a total stranger when it comes to the matter of hearts. He felt a pang of remorse as he realized that he had been thinking only about himself.
And Taehyung's next words made him feel like the most sinful being in the world.
"Nothing hurts more than being rejected by your own soulmate."
•••
"What's gotten you all mournful and down?" Seokjin asked him, munching a bag of potato chips.
Namjoon kept silent, he just sighed as he twiddled his thumbs. Laying down on the couch, he closed his eyes and lifted his left hand. His heart hurt so much when he saw Hoseok's name on his wrist. Then his mind wandered to the memory when they both first met.
"What the fuck are you looking at, punk?" Namjoon growled at Hoseok who was looking at him. The older male flinched and looked away, but Namjoon wasn't on his best condition at that time. He was furious, but he couldn’t remember why. It was probably because of something petty. Hoseok's gaze was infuriating to him. He stood up and landed a blow on the shorter's face.
And suddenly Namjoon remembered Hoseok's expression when he had growled at him that time.
Hoseok was frightened.
He must had remembered the day he had been bullied.
"He needs someone who loves him dearly, he really can't wait to meet his soulmate."
I'm his soulmate who's supposed to love and protect him, yet I'm the one who hurt him the most. I threw him aside like a dirt, thinking only about myself.
"Seokjin-hyung," Namjoon called the older.
lWhat?"
"Do you think I should change?"
"Change what?"
"My way of thinking...about Hoseok and soulmates."
"You know you should. Even if you don't plan on falling in love with him, at least let him know that you got his back."
After several minutes of silence, Namjoon answered, "Yeah, okay, hyung. I will."
•••
Taehyung was pleasantly surprised when Namjoon was standing at the door of his classroom, motioning Taehyung to come towards him with his hands.
Yoongi frowned as he grabbed Taehyung's wrist. "Who's he?" He asked.
"Hoseok-hyung's soulmate," Taehyung grinned.
"Why would he need you?" Yoongi grumbled.
"Are you jealous, hyung?"
"No, of course. What are you talking about? There's no way I'll be jealous, I mean, I'm Min Yoongi, I don't get jealous. I never get jealous, okay? Jealousy is not in my dictionary. I never get jealous, take note of that. Min Yoongi never gets jealous-"
"Alright, alright, hyung," Taehyung chuckled as he made his way to Namjoon. He closed the door as he smiled at Namjoon. They were alone in the hallway, and so it was silent, meaning that it was a perfect time to talk.
"You called, hyung?" Taehyung asked.
Namjoon scratched the back of his head awkwardly, "Yeah, uh. Hoseok, um... Did Hoseok not come to school?"
"He didn't come," Taehyung answered as he pouted slightly, "I reckon he’s embarrassed after crying in front of you. He didn’t want people to seen weak, you know."
Namjoon felt incredibly guilty again, and he clenched his fists. He wanted to talk to the older male, to explain everything. He didn't know what to explain but...he just wanted to talk.
"Here," Taehyung slipped a piece of paper into his hand, "something that will help. Well, I gotta go back to class, hyung! Bye!"
And then he went back to his class. Namjoon just stared at the closed door, and then he decided to look at what the younger male had given him.
Your soulmate <3 010-XXX-XXX
•••
Namjoon stared at Hoseok's number for hours, sitting on his bed with his feet touching the floor. He kept wondering if he should call him or not, scared of his reaction. If he didn't call him, Hoseok might think that he didn't care about him at all. If he did, would he even pick up, seeing that it was an unknown caller? And if he did pick up, would he hang up as soon as he recognized that it was Namjoon?
"Wondering whether to call him or not?”
Namjoon looked up in shock, only to find Seokjin with a cocked head and a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
"What the hell?"
"I can read your mind," Seokjin chuckled. “Besides, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what’s going on. A coward clutching a phone number and staring at it in agony.” Then the older proceeded to sit next to him on the bed, facing the closet in front of them. He sighed, and Namjoon followed. It seemed that Namjoon's life was so full of sighs, he just couldn't stop thinking about...things.
"Call him,” Seokjin said, "let him know what you think."
Namjoon faced him. "I know, hyung, but it's not that easy. How can I just suddenly call him and apologize for being a jerk, and say that I want to be someone for him to lean on? Do you think that he will believe me? Hell, even I don’t believe myself. We have hated each other for almost as long as since we knew each other."
"You never know what he will think, you know," the older smiled and grabbed Namjoon's thigh before standing up. "But well, you make the choices, not me."
And then he left.
Namjoon didn't call Hoseok that day. Let him be called a coward, he didn’t care, he was not prepared.
•••
"Why didn't you call Hoseok-hyung yesterday?" Taehyung stared hard at Namjoon, standing in front of his seat.
Namjoon just looked at the shorter male, frozen. He just didn't expect that he would be confronted in front of the whole class.
He could hear the whispers shared between the other people, and so he muttered, "Let's not talk about it here."
And then they went to the old bulding that no one even knew it was there. Taehyung, though, of course he knew, because, well. Because he was Kim Taehyung. What more explanation would be needed?
"So," he turned towards Namjoon, "explain."
Namjoon cleared his throat and looked away, "Look, it's not that simple. He might think that I'm a creep-"
"-and since when has his opinion of you mattered?"
That shut him up.
"Since when have you cared about what he thinks of you?" Taehyung continued to press on, "since when have you cared about how he feels?"
"Stop it,” Namjoon said, a bit too loud. Then he sighed. "Sorry, it's just that- the situation is more complicated than what you think. It's not easy, you know. We used to hate each other, and we fought and punched and kicked each other. And then suddenly we became soulmates. Then I told him that we should not be soulmates because we hate each other, next he cried, and I just-I just-" Namjoon sighed again, "I don't know."
Taehyung listened to his rambling, his glare slowly melted into a gentle gaze. Then he said, "I don’t think it’s really that complicated, hyung.”
"It is," the taller closed his eyes for a second and then opened it again, "my head's going to burst. I don't even know what Hoseok wants. Everything is so difficult, I can't figure anything out, like, what am I supposed to do? What am I even doing now? I don't even know. Hoseok too, he's really complicated. He's hard to figure out, too, and I don't know what he wants me to do! I don't know if he wants to be my soulmate, he's just...complicated. Everything is just so fucking tangled, I can't take it."
Some seconds of silence passed, and contrary to Namjoon's expections, Taehyung just smiled and said, "Maybe your mind is the one that is too complicated? Because Hoseok-hyung isn't hard to figure out. It's not Hoseok-hyung that you can't figure out, it's you yourself, Namjoon-hyung. You can't figure out yourself." And with that, Taehyung left.
•••
Brain death.
That would totally explain Namjoon's condition. He couldn't think, he couldn't even breath without feeling like dying. He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, he wanted to run away. But he couldn't. Because all he could think of was Hoseok, Hoseok, and Hoseok. What would Hoseok feel if he ran away? What would become of them?
He realized, then, that everything was his fault in the first place. If he had not hit him, everything would be fine. If he had controlled his temper, everything would be more than fine. He would be able to accept that he was his soulmate, and they could get to know each other normally. The sad thing, is that he could not undo his actions. He could only try to make things better.
He should try to make things better.
•••
At the next day, Namjoon didn't go to class. He wanted to take a time off, he wanted to let his head rest. Too much thinking could be really stressful, and so he wanted to take a break. He needed a break from his studies, and from his problems-just from..life.
Without any second thoughts, Namjoon entered the arcade. He was in the middle of attacking Sasuke with a rasengan when suddenly he spotted someone familiar in front of the arcade.
That someone had dark brown hair, and oh-Namjoon could recognize that face everywhere.
Jung Hoseok.
He looked miserable. His face was pale and dull, and his eyes that used to show anger to him was now just so empty and lifeless. And not to mention his eyebags.
Namjoon's heart clenched painfully when he saw Hoseok, when he saw how bad his condition was. But he also didn't miss the feelings that rose in his chest; he missed the sight of him a little bit.
How long had it been since he last saw the shorter male? It had been so long that he felt like he forgot what Hoseok looked like. He realized why Taehyung was so concerned.
And so, he decided to abandon Sasuke and left the arcade in a hurry, in hope of catching up to Hoseok.
•••
"Hoseok!"
Namjoon shouted as the figure that he was searching for kept walking. He kept running and running, desperately wanting to reach the other.
"Hoseok!"
"Jung Hoseok!"
Hoseok turned around, and their eyes met. But then, Hoseok's eyes widened in shock and panic, and he started to run.
Oh no.
Namjoon hurriedly chased after him, running as fast as he could, but Hoseok was still faster than him. He soon gave up running, clutching his knees as he was gasping for breath. But when he saw Hoseok's figure getting smaller and further from his view, he decided.
Shout and call him.
"I TAKE BACK MY WORDS FROM THAT TIME IN THE GYM!"
At that, Hoseok stopped. Namjoon ran a bit more and finally reached the shorter. Not knowing what to do, he tugged the back of Hoseok's shirt clumsily and said, "please hear me out."
•••
They settled at the park. Both of them were sitting on the swing with a tense and awkward atmosphere around them, not knowing what to say to one another. Since Namjoon was the one who wanted to talk, he figured he should be the one to speak first.
"So," he cleared his throat, "um, I'm..I'm sorry?"
"..for what?" Hoseok's voice was so soft, like he was afraid of speaking to him. And that broke Namjoon's heart.
"For everything, I guess. I actually met Taehyung, and he told me what happened to you in the past."
Hoseok chuckled bitterly, "You must've pitied me, right."
"No, I'm not pitying you," Namjoon continued, "I just, I want to apologize. I didn't know what you went through."
"It's fine, it doesn't matter anyways. I don't really care anymore," Hoseok said expressionlessly, eyes empty as he stared ahead.
"I'm so sorry for punching you that day. I never meant to, but I was just having an extremely bad day at that time, and seeing you looking at me like you're mocking me really pissed me off. I'm so sorry."
"I wasn't mocking you, okay-" Hoseok coughed, "I was just...looking at you. But when you punched me, my instinct took over. I was bullied, and so I immediately punched you back. Sorry for that, too."
“No, don’t apologize! You were simply defending yourself, which was the absolutely right thing to do. I'm the one at fault. I started it. I'm so sorry." And then it went silent.
"So, about what you said earlier," Hoseok muttered.
"O-oh, right," Namjoon cleared his throat. "About that. I actually said let's forget about being soulmates, but..."
He noticed how Hoseok's grip on the swing tightened when he mentioned about it.
"I take that back. Let's be soulmates, I guess?"
Hoseok looked at him, eyes wide. But soon he looked at the ground and said, "Look, Namjoon, stop it. I don't care if you lost a bet or something, but please don't involve me in it. Don't play around with soulmates, it-it hurts."
"No, I didn't lose any bet. I want to try to be with you-"
"Out of pity?" Hoseok stood up, eyes red and he looked like he was an inch away from crying. "I don't want your pity, Namjoon, I can protect myself. If you're just pitying me because of Taehyung's story, then stop, please."
"Look, Hoseok, I realize that I want to try to be the soulmate that you deserve now-"
"I liked you!" Hoseok shouted suddenly as tears started to roll down his cheeks, "I liked you, you idiot. I have always liked you. I was looking at you because I had a crush on you! God knows why you thought I was provoking you. You reminded me of my past with your actions, and I couldn't help my instinct of protecting myself. I punched you back, but that was only after you attacked me! I never wanted to hurt you, because I really liked you. I wanted you to be my soulmate because I really liked you, and my wish came true. But then you said that you didn't want to be my soulmate and to just forget about all of this. And now, you suddenly came and said that you wanted to be my soulmate?”
"H-Hoseok," Namjoon stuttered breathlessly, speechless. He couldn’t say anything. Hoseok’s words made him feel like the biggest buffoon.
"Just leave," Hoseok sobbed, "if you're just playing around, or if you're just pitying me, leave. Just-just go away if you're not serious." He fell back onto the swing, looking utterly broken.
When Namjoon made no move, he shouted, "Just go away!"
"...No," Namjoon said after several minutes of heavy silence.
"...what?" Hoseok looked up to look at his face, face wet with tears and laced with confusion.
"I'm not going to leave." Namjoon squatted down in front of Hoseok, looking at him with a fixed gaze.
"I have decided that I'm not going to run away. I'm going to accept this," he gestured between them, "I want to follow my fate and be your soulmate."
When Hoseok just stared at him blankly, Namjoon said again, "Let me be with you, Hoseok. I'm serious, I'm not joking at all."
"No, Namjoon," Hoseok shook his head and tightened his grip on the steel holding the swing, "I don't want you to feel forced. I don't want you to think that this is just an obligation-"
"I want this, Hoseok," Namjoon stated confidently, "I talked to Taehyung and thought over about everything. I want you, Hoseok, not just as an obligation, but this is my own feelings. I want to be your soulmate."
Then he proceeded to grab the older man's free hand and made Hoseok face him. Hoseok whimpered at the touch, and his teary, red eyes faced Namjoon's dry ones.
"Please give me a chance. Please give us a chance."
Several minutes passed in silence, and Namjoon's heart was beating erratically. He waited patiently for Hoseok's answer, managing to look calm on the outside. Deep down, though, his heart felt like it was going to burst. He couldn't tear his gaze away from Hoseok, though. He was scared that such a simple gesture could hurt the older man further, so he tried his best fo stay in place.
"Okay," Hoseok said softly.
Namjoon widened his eyes, feeling the corners of his lips starting to twitch. "Huh?"
"I said okay," Hoseok took a deep breath and sighed.
Namjoon broke into a grin, and he felt incredibly relieved. His shoulders felt so light, chest giddy. He gently took both of Hoseok's hands into his and intertwined their fingers together slowly on the older's lap, still unsure with the older's reaction. When he saw the blush and the slight smile on Hoseok's face, though, his action became more confident and sure, and he squeezed the other's hands. This caused Hoseok to look at Namjoon, and the younger male felt something in his stomach. He smiled at the sight of Hoseok's face and daringly brought their faces closer. Lightly bumping their foreheads, he nuzzled into the shorter's nose, not being able to hold in the deep chuckle.
"Thankyou," Namjoon whsipered. "I'll show you how serious I am."
And the beautiful smile that was painted on Hoseok's face made him feel like he made the right decision, after all.