Chapter Text
A few weeks after their mishap on the Telvanni Peninsula, Mariska and Zerith-var are back on the road taking care of small odd jobs to ease the high elf back into their way of life. Her khajiit companion still fusses over her even though she is able to cast and heal again.
Zerith has been more reckless in the way he fights trying to keep between Mariska and anything that may want to harm her. They sit by the side of a river in Stormhaven as she watches her companion clean his sword. “Maybe we should take another vacation? Like when we went to Southern Elsweyr?”
“If that is what you wish, I will be happy to accompany you again.”
“You need some rest after all that time you spent taking care of me while I was unable to do so myself.”
“Bah, this one is fine. I received plenty of rest while you slept.”
The high elf tries to think of a different tactful way to bring up the mammoth in the room. “Either of us could get hurt in our next battle, tamiit. We need to return to the way we worked together before. You are taking too much needless risk.”
Zerith stops cleaning his sword and puts it back in its sheath as he stands. “I almost lost you. I will not let that happen again.”
She stares at him and considers her next words. “I do not want to lose you because you are being reckless trying to protect me. I would not be able to live with that pain, Zerith-var.” When he does not reply, she offers, “Maybe I should travel with a different companion for a time.”
He turns from her and faces the river. “If that is what you wish.”
“I would prefer for you to stay, but I need to keep you safe as well.” She stares at his armored back wondering what he will say and knowing she does not want to send him away.
Without turning away from the river, he begins to talk. “I have lost everyone and everything I have ever known.” A silence begins to stretch between them. “I am a moth to your flame, tamiit. I will follow you wherever you go.” He turns around to face her. “This one will try to return to our previous way of being.”
Mariska stands up, “That is not what I meant, Zerith-var. I am talking about our roles in combat, not… everything else.” She moves towards him and now stands in front of him. There are few people as tall as the high elf for she is very tall for even her own race. Zerith still stands an inch or two taller. She lets her right hand rest against his breastplate and her left brushes through his furry cheek. “My injury gave us a chance to become more than comrades in arms. I don’t want to lose what we are building, tamiit.”
The khajiit struggles to keep his hands to himself as he looks at the object of his affection with a hope that can never be. Surely, Azurah will send him to her after he completes his failed task. If he lets her think they can be together, it will only hurt more after they successfully defeat Ravith-mora. “I cannot be distracted from my path, tamiit. Let us end the bent dance before we make any plans for the future.”
Her hands fall away from him and she nods at his answer. She returns to her place by the river and begins packing up her equipment. “We should head back to Wayrest. I have more tasks we can accomplish while we wait for word from Krin’ze.”
Over the next few weeks, the companions travel to various locations taking care of odds and ends for the various people of Tamriel. The altmer regains her full strength and the khajiit learns to trust in her abilities to get through a battle again. Zerith-var and Mariska both notice a change between them. Where they had been physically close for weeks after her injury at least during the night, they no longer hold each other as they sleep ever since Stormhaven. Neither say a word about the change, but both mourn the loss of the one comfort that they had allowed themselves.
There is no more bathing while the other is present, and when able Mariska orders two separate rooms for them when they sleep at an inn for the night. The first night they slept in separate rooms led to both of them lying awake unable to sleep without the other’s presence.
The day finally comes where they receive word from Cantor Krin’ze and High Cantor Viti. They look at one another and nod in agreement that as soon as they complete their current task they will head to the Star Haven Adeptorium. The next day they wake in Rawl’kha. Not knowing what lies in store for the pair, they decide to ride out on one of Mariska’s spectral mounts. It is a snug fit, but the magical mount will never tire.
Mariska drives the elk down the road until she must eventually leave the path. Zerith wraps his arms around her small waist and holds on for his dear unlife. Riding is still difficult for the khajiit and when they leave the road he finds himself fearful of being tossed off the mount. He takes the opportunity to sniff at the elf’s nape and finds himself purring at the memories of sleeping surrounded by her scent. If she notices, she does not comment on his actions.
The feel of her body against him fills him with regret of a life and love never to be experienced. Wondering if this is his punishment for his failure, he does not notice when they slow. Long fingers and small hands find their way laced through his large paws. She squeezes his hands and gently says, “We are going to end this Zerith. We will put right what went wrong all those centuries ago. You will be able to help Talbirra move on and begin to let go of your own failure. All will be well, tamiit.”
He directs her to the exact location and revels in the feeling of her affection one last time. Reluctantly letting go of her, he slides off the mount to help her down. The elk disappears into the ether. Leading her to the ancient training site, he begins to talk about the changes since his time.
Eventually they find their way to the meeting spot only to find Krin’ze in an unresponsive state. They move about the building looking over clues and evidence trying to see what has transpired in their absence. Then Talbira appears to teach Zerith-var one final lesson.