Chapter Text
June 09, 2014
I sometimes wonder about being completely invisible. To be unseen, irrelevant, or inconsequential. To live underneath the turbulence and exist merely as an existence. To not get questioned, to let things pass. An unmoving statue that’s unflinching towards anything that happens all around. At least that’s what I think, before the distant sound of crashing waves reels me out of my thoughts.
The bright moon rays pierce through my window, illuminating the dark side of the bed while I try to figure out what time it is. One thing’s for certain; my alarm hasn’t gone off yet, a rare event considering I only wake up when it starts blaring.
I toss and turn, trying to get into a perfect position to eventually sleep but I couldn’t. All it does is get me increasingly frustrated, I gave up and stared at the ceiling.
A puff of smoke rises from my chest and out appears Mottie with its white fur sticking out even in this dimly lit room. His unusually purple eyes exude a smoky magenta glow, as he perched on my chest while licking his padded green paws ready to say something that either pisses me off or worse, ridicule me.
“Can’t sleep, Luck?” the cat spoke, its voice calming and surprisingly pristine.
I said nothing and got up to cancel the alarm off for the night; all while ignoring the mystical thing. I don’t even know why he follows me or how he came to be. He hides when someone’s close and only appears when he knows we’re alone. I’ve known him for a long time now, acting like a personal voice that critiques things I do.
I don’t bother telling anyone that a floating cat talks to me when I’m alone, not like they’ll believe me. They’d probably call me crazy.
“Where are you going?” he asked, floating silently behind me while I walk out the door and towards the open balcony, my steps soft and silent. I don’t want to wake anyone else because of my early morning strolls.
Reaching the balcony, I sat down on a wooden chair my father himself made and started looking at the moon’s reflection on the ocean’s surface. The moon’s figure dancing on it’s gentle waves.
“It’s strange for you to be awake so early.” Mottie says, lowering itself to my lap. “Is it the same nightmare?”
The nightmares...
“No. Just...”
“Woke up early?”
I nodded, and ran my palm across his back, he purred as I do so. “Sometimes I forget that you’re basically just a talking cat.”
“Floating too.” He added, seemingly offended by not attending a crucial detail. “Kind of like the Cheshire cat... with less teeth.”
“And grin.”
I continued rubbing his back, while being entranced by the ocean in front of me. It’s a surreal sight and even after years of being here I still can’t help but admire it.
Ten years... I shake myself awake and my hand fell down my lap, realizing Mottie has disappeared. I started to get confused and looked around.
“Isn’t it too early for you to be awake, Luck?” a rough voice came from behind me.
“Hey, dad. I just kind of woke up for no reason.”
He strolled beside me and took the seat on the far-left side. “You must be excited, isn’t today your first day back at school?”
“Yeah, it must be that.” I answered flatly. I didn’t even realize today’s that day. But contrary to what he expected, I’m not looking forward to going back to school. Mostly because of new faces and more “introduce yourself” instances that we must do.
The silence drags on with just the two us watching the waves curl up and crash onto the shore. Hearing the crunch of waves as they dissipate into the sand, its therapeutic and in my opinion, somber...
“Or nervous.” He eventually breaks the silence. “I didn’t count that one earlier.”
“I’m not nervous.” I assured. “Why would I be nervous?”
“No clue, your mother’s better with things like this.” He says, tapping a finger on the armrest.
“You’re probably right. Still...” I let the words hang, formulating the next words in my head. “I assure you, I’m fine.”
“That’s good.” He replies, direct and short—almost cold but I don’t see it that way. As rough looking as he is, he’s a bit of a softie when it comes to things. Although, he’s a bit awkward to these kinds of conversation.
The silence continued again, broken only by the waves and a few minutes later, a rooster crowed loudly marking the start of the new day. So, I patted myself clean and started to leave the open balcony.
Before I completely disappear to the kitchen I stopped and asked, “You want a coffee, dad?”
“Yeah, I’d like one.” He answered and I continued my way to the kitchen.
“Just add a bit of sugar this time.” He added.
I grabbed a kettle and fired up the stove for the kettle. I loaded the rice into the rice cooker, then proceed to take a bath in the meantime while it cooks.
The Nightmares... It crossed my mind again but this time, I drowned it out by taking a shower, letting the water wash away my thoughts and come out to fix my dad a coffee. He took it happily and had a sip, his gaze still fixed on the dark horizon in front.
Meanwhile, I head back to my room and picked the new uniform prepared for me by mom yesterday. I decided to try it first before I go eat but decided to not wear it while we ate because it felt itchy, just like how all new uniforms feel.
I came out the room the moment my mom comes out of hers.
“Hello, Luck.” She greeted, “already dressed. You must’ve been awake early. Do you need something for today?”
I thought about it for a bit and decided to be bold. “I want my favorite today.”
“I knew you’d ask that. Go back to your room, I’ll prepare it for you.” Gesturing me to go back inside. ”I’ll call you out when I’m done.”
I reluctantly agreed, heading back inside and looking at the calendar on my wall. With ‘June 9’ encircled by a black permanent marker which now lays idly on the floor below.
I guess I really was excited for today.
After standing long enough in my room, I decided to lay back down my bed. The bed’s comforting fluffy surface greets me with glee, having been out the shower a few minutes earlier my body feels a little cold, and the bed felt like a big warm marshmallow as I sink deeper into its fluffy warmth. Even though I wanted to stay longer, a knock reared me back to reality and I stood up fast.
“Luck? Don’t sleep now. You’ll be late.” Mom called out.
“Yeah, I’m coming. Just fixing the bed.” I lied, but seeing the state of my bed, I decided to fix it.
I left my room satisfied and see both my parents already eating on the dinner table and I joined them, looking at that tasty fried chicken I’ve always loved laid on top. I can hardly resist the urge and immediately scoop a warm steaming rice into my plate and a drumstick placed on top of it, and start to heartily eat my way through the whole thing.
“Slow down, there’s more for seconds.” She says with a smile.
“Sorry, it’s been quite a while since we had this.” I explained. “Last month we just had different kinds of meat dishes from neighbors.”
“We can’t really refuse those; it’s from fiestas and you know how our neighbors feel if we decline them.” Dad explained.
“I know, still I can’t say I didn’t like them, but eating pork all the time kind of kills taste buds.”
“That’s true, but no need to think about those. Continue eating, today’s a brand-new day at school.” Mom smiles.
Although it’s hard for me to see this day positively, I managed to crack a genuine half-smile. Reassuring the doting nerves of my soft-spoken mother into a sense of safety. I quickly gobbled up the food in my plate and eagerly filled it again, carelessly stuffing myself like I haven’t eaten anything in weeks.
Mom smiles while she watched me devour the entirety of her dish.
Not long after, I finished eating and went on with my day and made sure I didn’t leave my lunch box behind. Strolling on the beach while the first colors of the day start to emerge from the beach’s horizon. Struck with beauty of the first lights of dawn, I stopped and faced the first gentle rays of the morning sun. Basking in its warm and comforting light and a thought crept up my in my mind...
If I was an artist, I would’ve painted this scene for at least a hundred times.
I may not be an artist, but I can make a composition for something like this. The sunrise, rich with emotion, beginnings and well... tomorrows. I like to think that seeing dawn’s first light is like a baptism to a tired body, cleansing it of yesterday’s pain, stress, or whatever negative thing that lingered.
“Beautiful.” Mottie says behind me, trying to catch me off-guard.
I said nothing, my gaze still fixed on that beautiful horizon.
“Come on, you’re not even startled anymore.” He grumbled. “You’re taking the fun out of this arrangement.”
I smiled, and started walking.
Still, as much as I like sunrise, I have to go and ride the first bus to school or I’m going to wait for another thirty minutes, and squeezing in with many students.
After a few minutes of walking the beach, I finally reached the bus stop. I looked closer and discovered that the shed didn’t have anyone in it.
Must be my lucky day. It’s not always like that, it either has at least one student or an adult getting ready for work; that’s not the case this time, so I have the next bus to myself.
“Alone. Again.” Mottie speaks again, this time he’s back to criticizing me.
“I don’t mind.”
“You don’t mind? Or you got used to it.” He says, perching on my head. “You may value the silence but this isn’t truly living, and you know that.”
He’s right. Always on point, but I can’t really say anything to save myself because what he said is true.
“But I have you.”
“Oh no, no, I’m in no shape or form to be suitable as a replacement to your needs, Luck.” He flew in front of me, eclipsing my entire view. “This time, you need to make friends. Someone to talk to...”
“I...”
A loud horn shook me off my trance and realized the bus was parked in front of me, I felt embarrassed and boarded the bus. I scanned inside and saw no one, so I took the right-side seat next to the window. Planning to look at the horizon while the ride went on. It’s only a brief ride to the school gate but I always chose this side of the bus, just to view the ocean. But, instead of soaking in the horizon, I was distracted by what Mottie mentioned earlier.
It’s not like I didn’t try making more back then, but all of them resulted in either them passively including me in everything but not really included in a sense or I just get ditched out of the blue because I was being silent. Maybe this time things will be different but I doubt it.
The bus screeches to a halt and the sound of the depressurizing bus door prompted me to leave my seat and towards the school gate. It’s nothing new; It’s pretty much the same, I’ve been studying here for four years and have gotten used to everything. This time is different; I’m one of the seniors now. Towering over the freshmen like a giant. It’s kind of uncanny to think that I used to be as tall as them, I guess I have the growth spurt to thank to.
After passing through the gate, I looked for a corner and fetched a paper from my bag which listed both my schedule and the room I’m supposed to be in.
11-A. Nice, it had to be the farthest one. I closed my bag and start walking, holding the paper and reading the list of teachers and subjects I’ll be tackling this year.
The usual stuff came up, mainly English, Math, Filipino, and some other stuff, but something caught my eye, Art. Did I mistakenly add this one?
I kept on walking with the paper in my face and mistakenly bumped into someone in a hurry.
“Ow!” she exclaimed, catching the attention of a few students nearby.
“Are you okay? Let me help you up.” I offered my hand. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t looking ahead of me.”
I noticed she wasn’t wearing the school uniform. She must be a transferee or just visiting.
“Sorry I bumped into you.” She apologized again.
“I’m the one who needs to apologize, I hope I didn’t ruin your day.”
It’s hard to see her face because of her hair but when she finally composed herself, she looked at me with her vivid blue eyes. It was a lot like the oceans I love staring at, it caught me off guard and stunning me in place.
“You’re not ruining anyone’s day. Hmm, as an apology, can you point me where the principal’s office is? I’m kind of lost.” she asked, and I realized I was staring a little to intently.
“Oh, um. It’s that way and make a left. You’ll see a sign above a door that says ‘Principal’s Office.’ It’s hard to miss so you’ll find it immediately.” I explained.
“Thanks, oh and sorry for into bumping you. I hope we meet again!”
I gave a little wave as she runs and disappearing behind a corner. I doubt I’ll meet her again, she’s a little short to be a senior, so she might be a sophomore transferee.