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"You finally shaved your head?? let me see" Jihoon's phone buzzed while he was brushing his teeth, guess he already got the news probably from Ruler, "Yeah I did" he slowly typed out taking a picture of himself in the bathroom mirror the brush hanging off one side of his cheek.*one attached image*.
"You're so...bald"
"Even your eyebrows??? How cruel" Suhyeong sent a sticker of a laughing dog that made Jihoon's eyes twitch. He was still the same, mischievous brat. Jihoon swore he bit down on his toothbrush so hard he felt like the head was going to snap off on it's own, sighing through his mouth filled with toothpaste foam he tried to shrug of the uneasy feeling bubbling up his stomach brushing his teeth way longer than he should he can already feel his molars flatten out and felt his gums sore. He couldn't point out the particular reason, not even neuroscience videos he stayed up late watching can help him decipher the sensation that gnawed on as he washed off his mouth, bringing himself up the mirror to see his head once full of fluffy hair now boxed in a military standard cut making him more intimidating than usual.
He sighed turning the lights off with a slow flicker of his finger, he glanced back at the bathroom, not like it was different 30 seconds ago. He grumbled and took out his phone out of his checked pajama.
*"Hey I want that"
"What?"
"You know...The pants you always wear"
"What?- Oh, the checkered ones?"
"Yeah, let me have one, Send me one."
"Where am I sending it?"
"My house, I'll send you the address"
It's not like it's his first time meeting him in person or at his house, but he knew enough to go there without needing the address. When Jihoon taught him how to mid lane back when they were 16 and 17, he frequently spent the night there. Jihoon's patience was repeatedly tested by Suhyeong's rookie mistakes because League was such a difficult game, but Jihoon knows his efforts paid off really well, so well, they met each other on opposing teams for the Worlds back in 2024.
He still recalls Suhyeon's eagerness to embrace Jihoon, his arms were wide open, his body was warm despite the stage blasting with air conditioning, his hugs felt like the first sunlight after a harsh blizzard that stormed his mind every other day. Suhyeon wasn't a sour loser, of course, and Jihoon knew that. To be honest, what did he *not know* about Suhyeon at this point? He sighed flopping down his bed filled with genrang plushies of all sorts one of it being a victim of his emotional breakdowns every so often holding it up in the air, if the plushie could talk, it would be begging Jihoon not to beat it up.
His mind wanders off a bit to the brain themed plushie that was behind the genrang, how could he forget? Suhyeon gave him that when he came to visit Jihoon one random day he dropped by walking in like he owned the house greeting his mom like he was part of the family himself, his hands reached out to grab its ends throwing genrang at the back of his head mindlessly. He stared at it for a short while before his phone started to buzz off again in his pants.
"Can I come over?" Jihoon had already read the message before he could unlock his phone, in his mind it was weird that he really had to ask when he practically barged in when they were younger.
"Sure"
"What for?"
The 3 dot typing animation flickered on and off for a while periodically pausing was just so unbearable to look at when he finally replied.
"I just want to, unless you're busy?" Reading that Jihoon scowled. "I said sure can you read? or have you forgotten already?" he typed back earning him a laughing reaction to his message.
"You act like a cat so much"
"Okay okay I'll come over tomorrow"
Jihoon reacted a thumbs up at his messages putting down his phone somewhere down his bed as he rolled over to snatch the brain shaped plushie Suhyeong had given him taking in a deep breath he can smell the faintest of his cologne that Jihoon always complained about being too strong for his liking. Jihoon never admits it but having Suhyeong in the early days up until DRX was more than nostalgic, it was coming home to a homecooked meal, and a fresh breath of air, before they became Chovy and Quad to the world, it was Jihoon and Suhyeong.
He stared at the ceiling blankly with a mess of his thoughts spilling out the more he thought about Suhyeong, how he was just so easy going, the way he engaged Jihoon with mundane and ridiculous debates that had no right to be that heated, the time Jihoon would point out every mistake he did as a mid laner and most of all how his laugh carried away the burden of expectations laid on Jihoon's mind whenever he felt like he would slowly crumble under the pressure of the world. It was all too much. He sprawled out the bed and tried to shut his eyes off he couldn't wait for tomorrow to roll around sooner.
"Suhyeong-ah..." whispering into thin air, he blinked a few time before he just forgot what he wanted to say. "Ah, whatever." He sighed as his eyelids became heavy with sleep.
The next morning came by quickly than he expected, the sunlight streaming into his room and his cellphone buzzed, he groaned as the repeated buzzing disrupted his morning off the bat. He reached out to his phone fumbling it under the sheets before it slipped out his bed and he finally got around to answering the call. Sliding over the green answer button on his screen before putting his call on speaker as he lied down his bed half asleep, "Hello?" He answered trying his best to adjust his morning voice, "Open up", Suhyeong's voice came from the other end, Right, today was the day he was coming over, he groaned and stood up from the bed, "Yeah, yeah, let me get there.." he huffed and stood up from his bed trudging down the stairs with a bed head and the same checkered pants.
"Took you long enough" Suhyeong chuckled at his bed head he didn't want to admit it out loud that he looked adorable with his fluffy hair in a mess. Jihoon hissed at the comment. He truly did look like a cat if it had wished to be human. Suhyeong and Jihoon exchanged strides towards inside the house, the familiar couch greeting them, the same blanket Jihoon wraps himself around with like a burrito.
Jihoon flops down the couch grabbing the blanket like a safety net, he can't live without it, Suhyeong sits besides the burrito wrapped Jihoon, but there's this small gap, too close to be called avoidance, too far to make it seem everything is alright, Jihoon notices the gap between them, his hands curl into a fist in the hoodie part of the blanket and pulled it tighter.
Suhyeong's eyes gaze over Jihoon and chuckled his hand reaching for Jihoon's soft locks and for a moment Suhyeong swears he froze up for a second before his hand reached his scalp. For a second Jihoon leans but pulls away just as quick and pretends to adjust the blanket leaving Suhyeong's hands in mid air.
Suhyeong's smile falters a little, "You've been distant." Chovy peeks out from the blanket suddenly giving the coffee table a stare as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. "I'm here what do you mean?" Suhyeong scoffs, "That's not what I meant, dumbass." The air thick with solid tension you could go grab an axe to smash it into pieces. Jihoon hates being accused of something he actually did and he hates to admit it as much as he wants to avoid that conversation. Jihoon huffed and clung on to his blanket as if it was going to save him from the conversation at hand, but he knows he can't avoid him forever.
Jihoon's heart was heavy, his lips weighed like a ton just to open up. "I thought you wanted out." Jihoon blurted out too quick for Suhyeong to process when he buried himself in the blankets. Suhyeong heard him, but he wasn't sure if he heard it right. "Out?" Suhyeong cautiously asked him, his hand snaking it's way inside the small gap of Jihoon's blanket. "Who said I wanted out?" Jihoon tucked himself the smallest he could ever muster himself. Suhyeong chuckled, "I...admit, I was also distant, I thought you needed space." Suhyeong's hands made its way inside Jihoon's blanket, Jihoon's body tensed up triggering his fight or flight adrenaline, but Suhyeong's calm voice changed everything for the both of them. "I thought you were the one who needed space." Jihoon mumbled under his breath. Suhyeong only chuckled, all this time, they were hurting each other without even realizing it.
Suhyeong doesn't say anything else, he doesn't interrogate Jihoon any further, he lifts the hoodie part of his blanket puffing Jihoon's hair, Jihoon doesn't freeze, pull away, or protest, he just lets him. Suhyeong gazed at him, his figure resembling an abandoned kitty. Suhyeong takes his hand from the depths of his pockets and wraps his pinky around Jihoon, A silent oath, their love may have been silent, but it was never kept as a secret, "I knew you would come around." Suhyeong quietly mumbled pressing his forehead against Jihoon.
"Took you long enough baby."
"Shut it."
But his words carry no real bite to it. He was grinning, his canine teeth still prominent. He leaned his forehead back to Suhyeong letting the blanket fall off his shoulders. This is all he wanted. A confirmation, a promise. Suhyeong's hand cups one side of Jihoon's face, his eyes grazing over Jihoon's features.
"You're beautiful."
Jihoon scoffed at his comment, no one had ever dared to call him that, 'beautiful'. But if its from Suhyeong, he just might let him. Jihoon's head pounded at the thought just to be cut off by a soft and gentle kiss, Suhyeong's lips pressed gently against Jihoon. Yearning. Never rushed.
And oh...Jihoon felt like he was on cloud nine.
Jihoon doesn’t realize he’s gripping onto Suhyeong’s sleeve until Suhyeong pulls back just enough to breathe and their foreheads stay pressed together. The world feels oddly quiet, like the house itself decided to hold its breath for them.
“You’re shaking,” Suhyeong murmurs, thumb brushing lightly against Jihoon’s cheek.
“I’m not.”
He is.
Suhyeong smiles, softer this time, not teasing, not mischievous. Just warm. His hand slides down to lace their fingers together properly, not just pinkies anymore. Jihoon’s chest tightens at the weight of it, at how natural it feels. Like muscle memory. Like coming home after a long season on the road. “I didn’t shave it because of you,” Jihoon blurts out suddenly, eyes flickering away. “Before you start overthinking.”
Suhyeong huffs a quiet laugh. “I know.” “…You don’t hate it?”
“Jihoon.” His tone turns gentle in a way that makes Jihoon’s stomach flip. “I’d recognize you in a crowd with your head completely bald and your eyebrows gone.” Jihoon snorts despite himself. “Shut up.”
“I’m serious.” Suhyeong nudges their noses together. “You think I care about hair? I care about this idiot who overthinks everything and brushes his teeth like he’s fighting for his life.”
Jihoon’s eyes widen. “You—”
“You sent me the picture with the toothbrush still in your mouth. I could see the foam.”
Heat creeps up Jihoon’s neck. He hides his face in Suhyeong’s shoulder out of reflex, and this time Suhyeong wraps both arms around him without hesitation. No gap. No space left between them.
The blanket slips completely to the floor.
“You’re not allowed to want out without telling me,” Jihoon mutters into the fabric of Suhyeong’s hoodie. It smells faintly like that cologne he always complained about. He inhales anyway.
Suhyeong presses a slow kiss to the crown of his head. “Then you’re not allowed to decide things for me in your head.”
A pause.
“…Deal?”
Jihoon hesitates for only a second before nodding against him. “Deal.”
Suhyeong leans back slightly, just enough to look at him again. His thumb traces the sharp line of Jihoon’s jaw, the newly exposed curve of his scalp. His eyes soften like he’s memorizing him all over again.
“You look intimidating,” Suhyeong says thoughtfully.
Jihoon raises a brow. “That’s not—”
“But,” Suhyeong interrupts, smiling, “you still look like my Jihoon.”
Something fragile inside Jihoon finally settles.
He leans in first this time.
And when Suhyeong kisses him again, slower, deeper not rushed, not afraid. Jihoon realizes the uneasy feeling from last night is gone.
*If this is the kind of love that unravels men, then let me come apart at the seams in your hands, I have never trusted anyone else to hold what’s left of me.*