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No one talked as they left the room, all too stuck in their heads, the past few hours. The lives they lived were not without loss. Seeing Nico and Thalia face their own past ghosts had only served to bring up those of others, not just Percy’s. In the midst of all the chaos it was easier to forget all the things you had lost, and all you felt you were guilty for.
Clarisse worked her guilt in the same way she worked through every emotion. She went to the training arena and grabbed some javelins. She would pick one up, hefting all the weight her ghosts had left her, and throwing it as hard as she could towards the target. She was not responsible for Lee’s death, nor Michael’s, Castor’s or any of her siblings. They would have been happy to have died in battle. Harlow, Casey, Harvey, Isolde, Armando, Yael, and those who deserted to fight with the Titans as well: Duncan, Matilda, Bella, Roger, Walter, Alessia, Owen and even Earl.
As she closed her fingers around the last javelin, she worked through thoughts she had almost daily. She had refused to fight, and the drakon had kept on rampaging. She wasn’t responsible for those deaths. She wasn’t responsible for Silena’s choices. It wasn’t her fault Silena died. Nico had assured her that Silena’s soul was happy in Elysium with Beckendorf now. The feeling it was her fault would never truly go away, she thought as she threw the last javelin, but she would know Silena had moved forward, and so should she.
Others had chosen a more peaceful route. Samirah had spread out her prayer mat, keeping in mind the bravery of her Valkyrie sisters. They had died for Odin’s mission, nobly. Still, the fading faces of Margaret, Irene and Gunilla ran through her mind.
She barely noticed as Zia sat with her, taking out some photos that she’d found in her room along with the candles. Zia took a position on her knees as well, looking pensively at the photos in front of her.
When Sam finished her prayer, she basked in the silence for a few more minutes. “Your family?”
Zia nodded. “I don’t remember them. They were killed by a monster my father unleashed accidentally. My home has been the House of Life. I’ve never had the chance for anything close to normal until now.”
“I understand what you mean. My grandparents can’t know about our world, but they ignore it. I’ve lived a double life for so long. They just don’t understand me.”
Zia nodded pensively. “You should speak to Sadie, her grandparents raised her too. But I do not think we are allowed to have normal, are we?”
Samirah didn’t answer. She just sat back on her prayer mat and fixed her hijab, basking in the silence of an understanding companion.
Blitz played with Hearth’s long, thin fingers as the taller man leaned on him. Both were settled on a couch in a room with just enough light and darkness to make them both comfortable. There were no words, or signs. It wasn’t needed when you knew each other that well. Hearth’s father and mother, who blamed him and stayed full of greed. The innocent brother, Andiron. Blitz’s father, a Cassandra in his own right, whose task Blitz had taken as his own. They were around them all the same as the dwarf rocked back and forth nudging his elf.
Hazel had given Frank a kiss, and ran off. They had faced most of their ghosts. Gaea was gone, Hazel’s sacrifice had stopped her once, and Leo’s the second time. She knew what had happened to Sammy and was starting to move on from everything that happened with her mother. Frank still wondered about his family’s legacy sometimes. Mostly, his mind was on his grandmother. Was she still alive? Had she escaped the mansion? He just wished she and his mom could see him now.
Jaz had been walking with Rachel and Juniper, all feeling the need to help. Jaz knew there was always going to be people she couldn’t save. That still didn’t make it easier.
Rachel’s thoughts turned to the prophecies that she had made, and her father’s work. There was so much pain that stemmed from those two things, and she just wanted to stop it. She veered to find comfort with Ella in the library, wondering if the Harpy also felt scared of all the prophetic knowledge she held.
Juniper went to the garden, knowing that being among nature would help. She’d seen many nature spirits hurt in the wars, and it was always nice to have a reminder that things regrew. If they could stop destruction, and focus on rebuilding instead, everything would be better.
Calypso was also in the garden, singing to herself. She stopped when Juniper joined her, and once again when Hazel appeared, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder. “I wanted to speak to you.”
Calypso got up and dusted herself off, following Hazel into her room. Hazel waited until they were seated before speaking again. “I was thinking after all this. I know what it’s like to have left people behind, and not know what happened to them. I woke up decades after my death, to the entire world having changed. I know there were others who came to your island. I was hoping I could help you find out more about them, and what happened to them. Maybe it’d help you get some closure.”
“It would be hard to bring up those ghosts again,” Calypso said after a moment.
“But if you face them, you can banish them. Maybe they got to live a happy life, just like you’re gonna live yours.”
Calypso paused for a moment and then nodded. Hazel reached for Annabeth’s laptop, which she’d gotten with special permission. Even she knew what had happened with Odysseus. That was easy to tell Calypso, that she was immortalized in Homer’s writings as the women Odysseus fell in love with but couldn’t stay with.
“He and his Penelope were happy then,” she said, looking at pictures in an old version of the Odyssey Hazel had managed to find. Hazel nodded, and rubbed Calypso’s back as the bittersweet tears fell.
She was surprised how easy it was to find the name of Calypso’s other main regret, Sir Francis Drake. Surprisingly, they had the internet and Daedalus’s archives. He circumnavigated the globe, and neither voiced the hope that Calypso felt he did so to try and find her island again. However, Calypso seemed a little less sad, and much lighter, knowing she hadn’t been forgotten by any of those lost loves. She would be happy in the end, like they had been.
Leo had left Calypso in the garden, and stopped by the forge, where Tyson was hard at work. Yet, even playing with his machines wasn’t helping him feel better. He wondered back to the communal lunch area, snacking on Fonzies, and was surprised when he heard someone address him.
“Puedo sentarme aquí?” Alex Fierro was standing there. She smiled in a way that made Leo shiver with just how familiar it was. “Charla pesada, huh?”
“Si,” Leo said, surprised how easy it was to revert into is native language. He hadn’t gotten to speak with Alex much, but he felt a kinship with her. “Tipo de mi suerte.”
“I know what you mean,” Alex plopped herself down beside him. She turned and frowned. “Did you lose people then too?”
Leo didn’t need to ask what she was talking about. He’d heard the references to Alex living on the streets. He didn’t talk about it often. “I wasn’t really the friend making type then. I got caught, put in some type of foster care and ran again.”
“I never got caught,” Alex shrugged. “I met a few people, made a few friends, but they had their own ghosts. They were so haunted they became ghosts too.”
“I’m sorry.”
Alex didn’t reply. He was playing with his garrote and twisting it around his hand, before undoing it. Leo was fidgeting himself, playing with a mess of wires and metal. “I wonder if she was right sometimes, my Aunt Rosa. She used to call me diablo.”
“My father was an ass,” Alex said after a moment. “He tried to erase every part of me that made me who I am. I left when he pushed me down the stairs, told me to be normal and insulted my art, and my Abuelo. I don’t regret it. Even if I died.”
“Acordado,” Leo said leaning back. He handed Alex what he’d been working on, a snake automaton. He grinned up at Leo, as he let the snake slither and wrap itself along his arm.
Piper smiled seeing Leo and Alex together. She already knew that friendship spelled trouble. She wished she could be with Jason right now, but he insisted Percy needed him. Annabeth had shooed her away minutes later when Magnus came to speak with her, leaving Piper alone. When she thought of ghosts, it wasn’t just the Greek ones. It was the one from Grandpa Tom’s stories. There was so much about her heritage she had lost, but discovering she was a demigod had brought it back. Would Grandpa Tom have been proud of her snake song? Her father would have asked her to stop, and tried to forget it. She was angry at him sometimes for refusing to be part of the tribe. Piper still wasn’t exactly sure who she was, Cherokee, or Greek demigod, but she’d figure it out.
Carter had immediately looked to his sister when Percy started to breakdown. Percy was becoming Sadie’s idol, and Carter agreed. The guy had done a lot of amazing things, and it seemed they were only about halfway to reaching the present. However, it was clear there was a lot of weight on him. Sadie quickly started to clench her fists and her face had turned stony as they left the room. It was only as Carter managed to bring her into the guys den that she broke down and cried in his arms.
“You okay?” Carter asked as the tears slowed down.
“I forgot he’s human,” Sadie said after a moment, “that he’s like us.”
Her brother nodded in understanding. “He’s lost as much as we have.”
“We need therapy,” Sadie laughed bitterly.
Carter rolled his eyes. It was true, but saying anything about their life would have them committed to an insane asylum. Their childhood apart was hard enough. Their grandparents still were cold with Carter, and constantly seemed to compare Sadie to Ruby. Carter missed out at school, and Sadie felt she’d missed time with her father and seeing the world. Both felt neglected by the circumstances they had been dealt. Not to mention, there was still racial prejudices they continued to face today.
Then there were the secrets, their parents kept. They hadn’t seen Uncle Amos for around seven years of their lives before Julian died. Carter thought about that now, and he knew Sadie was too.
“My boyfriend is the god of the dead, my mom is a ghost, my dad rules the Egyptian underworld and I still feel haunted by all these things,” Sadie commented again after a moment.
“That’s because believe it or not, you’re not even fifteen. I still have trouble thinking about all those things too. All those people that died fighting Apophis.” Carter pictured the wreckage of the Nome in Texas and the Grissoms in his head. “But you’ve seen the afterlife. It doesn’t end here. Death can be beautiful.”
“What about those mummies I met? They didn’t have a beautiful death,” Sadie argued, as Carter hugged her closer to his side.
“Those were ghosts like Melinoe’s , people who haven’t been able to move on because they were clinging to this world. We can talk to the others, the mummies were Roman, right? I’m sure between Nico, Hazel and Anubis they can figure out a way to make sure they get to pass on happily. We just need to remember them and honor the past. Ancient Egypt was definitely right about that.”
In another room nearby, Magnus sat with Annabeth. He had searched for her as soon as he could. His thoughts were consumed with his own ghosts. He still wasn’t sure where his mother was in the afterlife. Hela might have been lying. He might have a better shot at finding her now with all these experts in death here.
The Chase legacy had been broken for a while, but Magnus and Annabeth had a chance to restore it. It was incredible how close he still felt to the cousin he hadn’t seen for most of his childhood. Magnus was the first to ask the question. “Do you think they told each other about us?”
Annabeth frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Randolph’s wife and kids were already dead before we could remember. We’ve never met them. But neither of our parents were married or had relationships that the others knew of when they had us.”
“So you want to know if they told each other about the gods?”
Magnus sighed, reaching to brush hair that wasn’t there anymore out of his face. “I just wonder if they knew we were both demigods. Did that cause the argument? Or maybe it could have stopped it.”
Annabeth shook her head. “We all keep thinking about these what ifs. It’s not going to help. It does suck, but we’ve got each other now.”
Magnus grinned at her. “Can’t let the Chase family legacy completely die. Randolph was obsessed with it. Did you know he saw through my eyes at one point. Still not sure how.”
“That’s creepy.”
“I think it might be a norse family magic thing. Sam saw some of her ancestors memories. Bet Randolph would have loved that, the noble Chase line of Kings. Though I could care less about Randolph’s version of his legacy.”
Annabeth had to bite back all the questions arising in her mind, but she had a few questions about her family tree now that she wanted to look into later. “So what’s yours?”
“It starts with me meeting Matt and Bobby, they sound like fun kids.”
Annabeth groaned. “My dad will need to hear the truth if you do. Bobby and Matthew only learned about me being a demigod like last year. I don’t want to break their brains.”
Magnus chuckled, thinking of Heimdall and the Bifrost. “Yeah, don’t want to do that. Just, it’s gonna be their legacy too. We’re descended from these Norse kings. We’ve got all this money and stuff. There must be something we can do about it.’
“We will,” Annabeth agreed. She was determined not to let any more families break like hers had. And if Magnus was on board, she knew that any plan she had would come through.
Thalia sank down quickly after seeing Annabeth go with Magnus. She kept her gaze on the door where her three younger brothers/cousins sat behind. Her concentration only broke when Apollo sat down next to her.
“Is this what being mortal is like?”
She sighed. “I think it’s just easy for you immortals to forget how much you’ve lost when you’ve lived so long. For us, it stays fresh. It still hurts. None of you remember the kids who die, or all the terrible things you’ve caused.”
“I remember,” Apollo protested.
Thalia snorted. “Do you? What about Hal? Do you recognize the knife Annabeth used for years? It belonged to your son.”
Apollo paused. “Rules about prophecy are there for a reason. What happened to Hal will always haunt me.”
“Really? He died forgotten. His death is one of the reasons Luke decided the gods shouldn’t be given any more chances. Hal did one wrong thing, and other demigods were punished for it too.”
Apollo didn’t reply. Thalia looked at him, and rolled her eyes. “I know what you’re thinking. And yeah, it’s easy to blame it on Zeus. He’s a crappy dad. He doesn’t care about us, unless we do something spectacular. He’s barely ever acknowledged Jason. But we still have to own up to our mistakes.”
“And you have those?” Apollo asked her.
“My mother’s ghost doesn’t haunt me anymore. But the hunters and amazons who died under my leadership do. Kinzie, Phoebe, Celyn, Naomi. Most of them were more experienced than I was. I was chosen to lead them, and they died because of it.”
Apollo frowned. “I remember. Zoe…. She’d been with Artemis so long that I think my sister didn’t even realize that it must have been hard to step into those shoes.”
“I had to learn from the other hunters, even though I was the Lieutenant. I wasn’t nearly as experienced, and still had to lead them. I gave up the prophecy but became a different leader with a new responsibility.”
Reyna sat beside them. “I am sorry to interrupt, but I thought I might be able to sympathize.”
“Go ahead,” Apollo said giving her his seat.
Reyna sat, and frowned as she spoke. “I used the Legion to escape after leaving Hylla’s side. She went with the Amazon’s and I dedicated myself to New Rome. It was an escape, a new side of me where I could forget my past, and what had happened there.”
“But it comes back,” Thalia said.
Reyna reached for her tattoo, stroking it as she spoke. “So you face it down again. Not ignore it, but fight it. Show that you’re better and stronger.”
“I knew I liked you for a reason.” Thalia grinned thinking of just how much she shared with this girl in front of her. She’d have to try for a real spar with Reyna later, one without all this heavy talk.
“Dad?” Will said approaching carefully.
Apollo made no move to answer as his son inched closer. He’d found an area that was bright, airy and reminded him of the Sun Palace, or maybe the Court of Versailles. He’d been a huge inspiration to the design there of course. It all mixed together these days. Mortals were so fleeting. It seemed a little while ago he was blessing Babe Ruth with three home runs in the World Series but apparently that was almost a century ago.
“Dad? Do you really think Michael is alive?” Will asked again sitting next to Apollo.
Apollo sighed. “I don’t know.”
“How can you not know?” Will asked in a tone that was almost harsh for him. “You’re a god! He’s your son.”
“I might have been the god of prophecy but I’m not all knowing. I just know that Michael never made it to Erebus. I have had many children, Will. The truth about immortality is that after so long, it’s hard to remember. I try though. I really do. I do love you, but love is different for an immortal. Sometimes, I look away and those I want to see are gone. I’m sorry I cannot be a better Father to you, or any of your siblings.”
“Dad….”
“Two of your siblings joined Kronos’s side in the war. I tried to talk to them. Lito and Aurora didn’t want to hear it, and I understand it. I don’t even know if they’re still alive.”
“I know. I barely knew Aurora, but I still think about her.”
“I’ve failed too many of my children. Forgotten them, and never even listened to their prayers. Hal! I forgot about Hal! If Thalia knew him, he might still be alive. I can lift it now. I mean, when I’m a god again.’
“Dad…”
“No, don’t try to comfort me. Hal wasn’t even my worst mistake. I had plenty of kids, plenty of friends, plenty of people who I ruined because they relied on me. That Roman kid, the one you and Nico sent flying after he led an invasion on Camp Half Blood, he thought I cared. He gave himself all that power. Look at what I do to people.”
“Octavian was insane. I tell myself that everyday. He died, even though we tried to warn him he was in danger. I’m a doctor. I made an oath about saving and protecting lives, and I let him die. Nico doesn’t seem to care about it. I can’t even understand it. It drives me crazy.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Apollo said firmly. “Nico is the son of Hades. I never understood my uncle. Death is just…. I mean…. I….”
“You’re a god. You probably don’t think about it a lot.”
“I do, sometimes.” It was probably inappropriate to talk about his past lovers with his son. Still, He’d hurt too many of them. Hyacinthus, Daphne, Koronis, Tatiana Romanov… then there were those he’d loved but never quite gotten, his Oracles and some hunters, like Zoe. Instead he turned to his son, trying to focus on the good. “I think about your siblings when I know they’ve fallen. And maybe it’s being mortal, but I can’t stop thinking about Meg.”
“Dad….” Will started again. “It won’t help. Right now, it’s better to remember why we care about those people, and think about the good things rather than focus on everything else.”
“I don’t think I can.”
“Did I tell you about how I showed Nico Star Wars for the first time?” Will smiled, sat up a little and spoke. It was more soothing than music to hear his son’s voice filled with such emotion and love. Apollo slowly sank into the rhythm of the stories letting the everything wash over him as he listened to his son.
Nico frowned as he walked out. It seemed everyone was dealing with their things in their own way, off in little groups or with the people who understood them, and he saw Will sitting with his father and didn’t want to interrupt them.
Instead he found Walt. “Can I sit?”
“Yeah.”
There was silence for a moment. “How’s Anubis dealing with all this?”
Walt tilted his head. “Moms are a tough subject for us.”
Anubis’ own mother had left him to Isis and Osiris. He had trouble understanding Walt’s feelings right now. Perhaps, if Walt got to visit his mother, Anubis could get exposed to just what motherly love was. Walt had left Seattle even after she begged him not too. He knew he was going to die, and he had. Anubis’s voice echoed in his mind, “You’re still on the mortal plane, alive. And with Sadie.”
“I get that,” Nico took a breath. “But I came for something else. Anubis is the god of Death? Osiris is like Hades, god of the Underworld, so Anubis would be more like Thanatos?”
“I think we both know it doesn’t exactly translate.”
Nico nodded. “Fair enough. My question is about ghosts.”
Walt frowned. “Anubis and I deal with them often enough. Why?”
Nico sighed and spun the ring on his finger. “Define a ghost.”
“A soul that clings to this world because they are not ready to move on, at least most the time.”
“Right, we’ve got the same idea. There’s also spirits, like your Bas, correct?”
“Yes.”
“The thing is, I know Percy has accepted the idea of his own death, he’s okay with aging and growing old. I’m just worried about how much he clings to the things he feels guilty for. I know he’s dealing with it, but it’s still bothering me.”
Walt frowned and sat back. He reached for his own amulet. He understood what Nico was getting at, and it was a troubling thought. THe thing was, he had heard of ghosts like that. Ones who stayed because they struggled with guilt. They kept trying to fix things, but what they really needed was to accept that they had made their choices and so had everyone else. The ghosts that couldn’t move on because they still felt they could do better.
It was easy to see why Nico was worried about that. There were good souls who lost their ways because they were so devoted to their work and the lives of the others around them, but had never stopped to think about the effect it had on them. It became a cycle, ghosts creating ghosts.
“I think Percy’ll be fine,” he said carefully, waiting for Nico’s response. The younger boy seemed to relax a little. Tentatively, Walt reached out, putting a hand on his shoulder. “That’s why we’re here isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” Nico agreed, seeming to let out a breath that he’d been holding for days. “It is.”