Work Text:
@riddlemethis
10 December, 2021
A MASTERLIST OF ALL THE DRAMA THAT HAS GONE DOWN SINCE SUMMER
here is a timeline of severus and tomi’s relationship
here is the instagram post that blew the whole thing wide open
here is what we know about lily evans potter
if you know anything else feel free to comment!
12,476 likes, 437 replies
@the_riddler
Can’t forget this mess in with what we know about the not-a-Potter-girl-anymore.
@riddlemethis
thank you, how could i have missed this! it’s a thousand times more creepy that severus has known lily evans potter since they were children for some reason.
@prophecyyy
Did anyone catch the interview her sister did? She sounds almost as bad as Lily.
@the_riddler
I missed that, what did she say?
@prophecyyy
Here’s a link. She’s clearly grasping onto any little bit of fame she can. My favorite part is where she said Tomi brought this on herself because she wouldn’t be a good little housewife.
@riddlemethis
oh yes, tell me more about how the biggest pop star in the world should settle down and be a housewife for a mediocre white man who can’t even write a bestseller if his life depended on it
@prophecyyy
Go off!!!!
—
Instagram
3:37 a.m.
15 December, 2021
London, England
[image description: a snake, coiled on a rock. a red heat lamp is on. the green and black snake, approximately three feet long, looks into the camera almost intelligently.]
tomi_riddle: you contain multitudes.
Liked by: brighteststarr, james_potter, harry_31, and 898,981 others.
bellabix
oh hiiiii nagini!
lunalune
Snakes always know what to say, I think.
cissasays
I’m glad you got the best people in the divorce.
lucysays
@cissasays we’re not mentioning the d word
bellabix
@cissasays @lucysays dildos?
harry_31
She does have pretty eyes.
Liked by tomi_riddle
bagnoldd
Come to Brazil
—
@riddlemethis
21 December, 2021
A MASTERLIST OF EVERYTHING THAT HAS GONE DOWN SINCE SUMMER: UPDATED
first of all, i’d like to thank the new mods, @prophecyyy and @theriddler for helping me keep things straight. so much keeps happening in this drama and for all he is a useless sack of shit and lily is a total skank, they seem to have their stories straight, so we must also do the same.
here is a timeline of severus and tomi’s relationship – UPDATED TO INCLUDE WHAT WAS MENTIONED IN SEVERUS’ NEW INTERVIEW
here is the instagram post that blew the whole thing wide open
here is what we know about lily evans potter – UPDATED TO INCLUDE HER AND SEVERUS’ BACKGROUND, INTERVIEW FROM PETUNIA DURSLEY, AND HER NEW INSTAGRAM POST
i also thought i’d put a general rundown here for those who just want a basic idea of things, in case you’ve been, idk, living in the cupboard under the stairs for the last six months. here is an abridged timeline of what has been going on.
1.severus and tomi, after nearly six years of dating, suddenly and without warning break up. break up is announced by tomi’s pr department and confirmed by a single twitter post from severus. we are all confused because tomi wrote a WHOLE ALBUM DEDICATED TO THIS MAN and seemed to be in it for the long haul????
2.tomi went radio silent on her usually busy insta and twitter.
3.not two weeks later, severus announced his engagement to a woman whose divorce had not even been processed yet. rumors abounded. what has happened that has gone so terribly wrong.
4.then, the instagram post from lily evans potter’s now-ex husband, james, confirming what we all suspected. CHEATING. SEVERUS AND LILY HAD BEEN SLEEPING TOGETHER FOR THE BETTER PART OF TWO YEARS. stunned, silenced, overwhelmed.
5.in the six months since, tomi has been virtually silent. she’s made random posts, mostly of her snake nagini or of her food, but no one has seen her since. severus and lily seem to be running a smear campaign against her which seems to be working to some extent even though??? they cheated???
this whole situation took a left at crazyville and we can only hope tomi emerges whole again.
19,121 likes, 732 replies
@dazzleddreamerr
You shouldn’t call a woman a skank.
@riddlemethis
it’s what she is tho
@theriddler
The woman cheated on her husband with another woman’s long term partner. I'm all for feminism and not slut shaming but I have my limits.
@dazzledreamerr
Then what is Tomi Riddle? Before Severus Snape, she dated around like she was getting paid!
@prophecyyy
Ah. Say no more. You’re not one of us. Why are you even here?
@dazzledreamerr
It was tagged Severus Snape.
@gryfcliff
damn. i’m not even a tomi stan and that’s fucked up. if i were her i’d sue to get my six years back and also un-release that album lol
@pocketfulofpansies
Also arguably her weakest one. Perhaps it was a sign.
@prophecyyy
Unfortunately, I can and will still get down to ‘Impossible Dreams’.
—
Instagram
12:01 a.m.
1 January, 2022
London, England
[image description: a black and white photo of the back of tomi. she is wearing a football shirt with the number 31 on it. her curly hair obscures the name and the blurred edges of the photo obscure what team it could be from. she’s facing a window where fireworks are exploding.]
tomi_riddle: 31 in 31.
Liked by: bellabix, james_potter, harry_31, and 1,653,213 others.
bellabix
one thousand hundred million happy returns my beautiful darling
james_potter
<3 <3 <3
cissasays
In any way, in any light, you are the most beautiful creature known to man.
brighteststarr
Can’t be 31, you’re way more mature than me, kid.
bagnoldd
Come to Brazil
harry_31
Nice shirt
Liked by tomi_riddle
—
Truth of the Matter: An Interview With Severus Snape
by Rita Skeeter
5 January, 2022
Rita: You’ve been quite the focus for a novelist lately, mostly for your personal life. I imagine dating one of the biggest pop stars on the planet was quite the shock, and then, of course, a very public break up.
Snape: I’ll admit, I wasn’t prepared for the level of scrutiny that came with being in Tomi’s life. It was like being under a microscope. Normal people don’t have the public criticising you for deciding to leave a relationship that wasn’t working out.
Rita: Are you saying Tomi Riddle isn’t normal?
Snape: Not that she’s abnormal, but her situation definitely is. She has people dictating every second of her life. It gets exhausting when you just want quiet time.
Rita: But let’s face facts. Is the solution cheating? This Instagram post from your fiancee’s ex says it all.
Snape: Can we focus on what it doesn’t say?
Rita: Which is?
Snape: Both relationships were over long before Lily and I got involved. If not officially, then emotionally. Neither of us were getting what we truly needed.
—
@riddlemethis
i hate severus snape fanclub who’s in
@theriddler
Aye
@prophecyyy
Ayeeeeeee
@lovestruckk
what even was that interview. how can you defend cheating.
@pocketfulofpansies
“Both relationships were over” Nope babe you were still dating so they were NOT over actually!!!!
@runner_31
Severus Snape is an abomination
@riddlemethis
welcome to the forum
—
Twitter
@tomi_riddle
7 January, 2022
11:11 a.m.
[image description: a cup of tea sitting on a table. in the background appears to be a recording booth.]
make a wish.
1,985,356 likes, 895,678 retweets
@bellabix UHH HELLO MY WISH IS COMING TRUE WHY DID YOU NOT SAY ANYTHING
@lunalune NEW MUSIC? CALLED IT
@neww_perspective are we getting a new album? in the year of our lord 2022? fresh off the madness of summer 2021? oh i’m going to Hurt
@james_potter SURPRISE???? HELLO???? you’ve been keeping secrets
@cissasays oh tomi marvola riddle you have Things To Say
@brighteststarr i’m gonna break up with remus just so this hits right
@harry_31 i already have a favourite
Liked by @tomi_riddle
@minniemcgee COME TO ALASKA THIS TIME I BEG YOU
@bagnoldd No come to Brazil
—
Seven months after breaking up with her most long-term relationship, Tomi Riddle announces new album ‘Dear Diary’
An album she describes as an “open book of [my] deepest, darkest feelings”, this album is sure to explore her betrayal, heartbreak, and tears of the last seven months since Severus Snape, her boyfriend of six years, cheated on her.
The album is represented through Dark Mark Productions, as is the case with her last four albums, and Ms. Riddle is represented by Abraxas Malfoy.
‘Dear Diary’ will be released on 31 July 2022.
—
@riddlemethis
i am gone, i am deceased, we get new music and i am going to DIE
@prophecyyy
Sirius Black had it right, I’m gonna break up with my boyfriend so it hits right
@riddlemethis
can’t believe i’m agreeing with that prick sirius black (affectionate)
@prophecyyy
Hey for having shit opinions about movies he does have Tomi’s back
@riddlemethis
point
@theriddler
I’m already obsessed with this album, it’s gonna be her best ever
@pocketfulofpansies
You say this about every album.
@theriddler
And every album I’m RIGHT. Coincidence? I think not
—
@potter_fanatic
Hey so it’s weird that HP is like…tangentially involved with the whole pop star drama right
@itsaboutthescar
Ugh don’t make me think about Tomi Riddle I beg you she’s so overrated
@31_potter
But it’s his brother who’s ex wife her boyfriend cheated with…the whole situation is absolutely looney tunes.
@potter_fanatic
RIGHT. James Potter isn’t even famous. His ex wife arguably has more clout than he does even before the cheating thing but he’s just A Guy who’s brother is a footie star and now he’s in the national – if not international – spotlight.
@itsaboutthescar
The only thing I care about is if the Nationals are going to win the cup.
@potter_time
have any of you been paying attention
potter_fanatic
To what?
—
Instagram
9:11 a.m.
19 January, 2022
Paris, France
[image description: a croissant on a plate. the background is a blurry Paris. on the side is an arm. could be male.]
tomi_riddle: the most important meal of the day.
Liked by: bellabix, james_potter, brighteststarr, harry_31, and 1,452,163 others.
brighteststarr
eye spy
bellabix
YOU DESERVE PARIS
lunalune
I disagree, I think pudding is the most important meal of the day.
james_potter
That’s actually the best angle you can get.
bagnoldd
Come to Brazil
harry_31
Beautiful
Liked by tomi_riddle
cissasays
Someone else tell her
—
Tomi Riddle takes a break from heartache to endorse Hermione Granger as the Labour candidate for PM
Tomi Riddle, never one to shy away from politics in the face of her pop success, has once again thrown the weight of her name and fanbase behind a candidate for PM. Speaking of the young Granger, Ms. Riddle said last night that Granger “has accomplished what many Black women have been held back from doing in the UK…and her ambitions to change that are admirable. I firmly believe she is the best candidate for women, LGBT people, and immigrants, especially in today’s world, and I think she can make a difference. I will proudly endorse her.”
Ms. Granger thanked Ms. Riddle for her endorsement, noting that “women supporting women will always go further than women tearing other women down.”
—
@riddlemethis
tomi riddle endorsing THE hermione granger i knew we made the right person famous
@prophecyyy
I’m American what does this mean
@theriddler
Best I can figure is that it would be like if she endorsed errrr…Kamala Harris?
@prophecyyy
Oh fuck YES
@pocketfulofpansies
I’m genuinely so emotional ladies women are going to change the world. NO BOYS ALLOWED.
@prophecyyy
What about non-binary ppl
@pocketfulofpansies
You’re okay
—
@potter_fanatic
So I’ve analyzed that photo everyone’s talking about
@itsaboutthescar
Oh bloody hell here we go
@31_potter
No, go on, I want to hear more
@potter_fanatic
It’s hard because Riddle is in black and white, but it does appear that she could be wearing Potter’s shirt. The number fits and if you put it through a photo cleanup app, you can see the usual sponsors on the side.
@itsaboutthescar
…..you put it through an app for this?
@potter_fanatic
Inquiring minds wanted to know.
@itsaboutthescar
Again, what inquiring minds?
@31_potter
It’s me, I’m the inquiring mind.
@itsaboutthescar
This is ridiculous. Why would she be wearing Potter’s shirt? Isn’t she like seven months out of the worst breakup of her life?
@potter_fanatic
My my my, you are quite knowledgeable for someone who thinks Tomi Riddle is overrated.
@potter_time
you’re still missing something.
—
Instagram
4:35 a.m.
27 January, 2022
London, England
[image description: a messy bed, a dark room, the tips of long brown curly hair on a pillowcase.]
harry_31: Never been this hard to go work out before.
Liked by: james_potter, brighteststarr, tomi_riddle, and 542,789 others.
james_potter
So this is gross, actually
potthead
OMG IS HP DATING SOMEONE FINALLY
brighteststarr
She can do better
remusslupins
I think I have a cavity
31_potter
omg is that who i think it is
potterfansunite
are you looking forward to next season?
tomi_riddle
happy for you
Liked by harry_31
potter_fanatic
….what’s tomi riddle doing here
—
@riddlemethis
….did everyone see what james potter’s brother posted?
@pocketfulofpansies
“James Potter's brother” she says, as if he is not the biggest football star in the UK
@riddlemethis
okay,whatever, i do not care about football. ANYWAY, did you all see that insta post
@theriddler
Here it is so you don’t have to go searching
@prophecyyy
Hold please
@pocketfulofpansies
WAIT JUST A DAMN SECOND
@riddlemethis
RIGHT
@theriddler
So I’ve been in a crisis for hours over this
@prophecyyy
IS TOMI RIDDLE SLEEPING WITH THE BROTHER OF THE EX HUSBAND OF THE WOMAN HER BOYFRIEND CHEATED ON HER WITH
@pocketfulofpansies
Wow. Respect.
@theriddler
Are we sure they’re just sleeping together because it looks a hell of a lot like dating
@riddlemethis
do we think this is who she was with in paris
@pocketfulofpansies
That would make sense. Cause didn’t James Potter say something about that being the best angle? That would be funny if he knew it was his brother.
@prophecyyy
Goddamn you’re right
@theriddler
This is actually bonkers. I don’t think I can handle anything anymore.
—
@potter_fanatic
So there’s no way that’s not Tomi Riddle, right?
@itsaboutthescar
Every time I think I’m free of this topic, you somehow bring it back.
@31_potter
Sorry you don’t have any joy in your life. Anyway, it’s absolutely Tomi Riddle.
@potter_fanatic
Right! Cause why else would she comment on the picture? And I looked, he’s been commenting on hers!
@potter_time
finally. you guys were so slow to realise that.
@31_potter
So what do we reckon, they’re dating?
@itsaboutthescar
Or it’s a publicity stunt to get back at her ex.
@potter_fanatic
….I like dating.
@potter_time
same.
@31_potter
Same.
—
Instagram
10:03 a.m.
14 February, 2022
New York, New York
[image description: a single red rose, plucked to pieces.]
tomi_riddle: possession for love//destruction for proof. single ‘small man’ out now.
Liked by: bellabix, james_potter, brighteststarr, harry_31and 2,124,113 others.
bellabix
get his ass
brighteststarr
i think you could be meaner
james_potter
AND TELL HER IT WAS MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
james_potter
WHO WAS THE ONE TO SEEEEEEEEEEEEE
james_potter
I agree with Bella: get his ass
bagnoldd
Come to Brazil
harry_31
You have a way with words.
Liked by tomi_riddle
cissasays
I’m available for murder
lucysays
For legal reasons this is a joke
—
@riddlemethis
brb changing the name of this forum to NO SMALL MEN ALLOWED
@theriddler
WAS IT TRUE/WHAT YOU WANTED FROM ME/WHERE’S THE PROOF/WHAT YOU’VE STOLEN FROM ME
@prophecyyy
[gif: sobbing woman with a bottle of wine] literally me after listening to ‘small man’, the masterpiece by tomi riddle,
@pocketfulofpansies
I told my boyfriend he should cheat on me so I could fully understand this song and he just rolled his eyes.
@riddlemethis
how dare he be fully committed to you
@theriddler
Albus Dumbledore finally hearing a Tomi Riddle breakup song not about him be like [gif of a man raising a glass]
@pocketfulofpansies
Oh my GOD how relieved must he be? Literally all Severus Snape had to do was break up with Tomi like a regular person and Albus fucking Dumbledore would continue to be Tomi’s boogeyman, but no, Snape had to go and cheat and now Dumbledore can rest lmaoooooo
@riddlemethis
HOW DOES IT FEEL/TO LIE IN OUR BED/HOW DO YOU KNOW/DO YOU WISH I WAS DEAD
@prophecyyy
I am Unwell.
—
‘Small Man’ by Tomi Riddle is a master class in broken hearts and grief
Tomi Riddle’s heartbreak anthem ‘Small Man’, appropriately released on Valentine’s Day, is not her usual upbeat pop tune crooning of love and triumph, nor is it her glitter gel pen get-you-back songs usually aimed at her exes. Instead, ‘Small Man’ is a deep exhibition of betrayal, broken hearts, and the grief that comes when you’ve given someone your all and they deem you unworthy of it. Riddle uses captivating metaphors and shows off her five-octave range that is so rarely utilized on her catchier songs to drive the knife in and twist it.
Five stars.
—
Instagram
8:03 a.m.
15 February, 2022
Hampshire, England
[image description: a glass of wine held up to the moonlight]
severussnape: I had a quiet day yesterday, thanks for asking.
Liked by: lily_evans, tuney_dursley, wormtailand 235,214 others.
lily_evans
nothing happened? at all?
severussnape
@lilyevans Besides spending time with my beautiful woman, no.
wormtail
Release the second Statesman book, you coward.
tuney_dursley
When’s the wedding
cissasays
i can think of something that happened yesterday…can you, @lucysays?
lucysays
@cissasays there’s something…hey, @severussnape, does this ring a bell? YOU’RE JUST A SMALL MAN/THE SMALLEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED
lily_evans
this is harassment
brighteststarr
i’ll show you harassment
—
Twitter
@lily_evans
16 February, 2022
10:10 a.m.
@tomi_riddle call your fans off. they’re little monsters. they will not leave us alone.
65,785 likes, 89,769 retweets
@theriddler Oh No It’s The Consequences Of My Actions
@riddlemethis *hits blunt* no
@biggestwoman *hits vape* FUCK no
@impossibleedreamss is this going the way you thought it would, cheater?
@prophecyyy And now, the weather.
@brighteststarr hey me and reggie want to frame this to laugh about later, that cool?
@lucysays and this dear children is what a sorry sack of –
@rosewater you are all HORRIBLE PEOPLE and you’re going RIGHT TO HELL. this relationship drama is PERSONAL and is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
@pocketfulofpansies Anyway stream ‘Small Man’ by Tomi Riddle
—
@riddlemethis
lily evans complaining about us harassing them will make me smile for at least seven business days siri send tweet
@prophecyyy
I don’t know what she expected? Tomi to roll over and acquiesce? Us to listen?
@theriddler
idk you guys. we’re being really mean to them, and i just…think we can be meaner.
@pocketfulofpansies
I hope in the next song she says Severus’s dick is tiny
—
Instagram
7:53 a.m.
25 February, 2022
London, England
[image description: a football stadium. figures are on the field in the distance. tomi is clearly seated a good distance away, and seated privately.]
tomi_riddle: starting to enjoy early rising
Liked by: bellabix, james_potter, brighteststarr, harry_31and 1,114,143 others.
bellabix
you’re stronger than any us marine nothing could drag me out of bed that early
james_potter
You can say you were forced. Blink twice if you need help.
brighteststarr
Suspiciously stares in suspicion
cissasays
Right, darling, this is going in my notes, just so you know.
harry_31
It was a good day.
Liked by tomi_riddle
bagnoldd
Come to Brazil
@pocketfulofpansies
Tomi! Hi! There’s like no chance you’ll see this but I was wondering! You’ve never talked about liking football before, when did you get into it! The Nationals are my team, are they yours too?
tomi_riddle
@pocketfulofpansies recently; about sixish months ago. i’ve never been a sport person until then. my team’s the nationals, too.
—
@pocketfulofpansies
DID EVERYONE SEE THAT TOMI RIDDLE ANSWERED MY QUESTION ON INSTA
@prophecyyy
WHAT. SHE NEVER ANSWERS QUESTIONS ON INSTA.
@riddlemethis
she will like every two years answer ONE particularly good question but yeah like never. omg i didn’t even SEE. what was the question pansy???
@pocketfulofpansies
[screenshot]
@theriddler
IS SHE CONFIRMING WHAT I THINK SHE’S CONFIRMING
@prophecyyy
SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP
@riddlemethis
RECENTLY. SIXISH MONTHS AGO. THE NATIONALS.
@pocketfulofpansies
they have to be dating. they HAVE to. why else would she RANDOMLY get into the VERY FOOTBALL TEAM that the brother of the ex-husband of the woman her ex cheated on her with is on? if not dating why dating shaped
@theriddler
I think we need experts on this, call in the footie fans
@pocketfulofpansies
Oi, I’m right here #femalefootballfansmattertoo
—
@potter_fanatic
So, lads, I’ve gathered you here today –
@itsaboutthescar
*groans* I suppose we should be prepared to be overrun by emotional pre-teens come the regular season?
@31_potter
Have you even listened to her latest song?
@itsaboutthescar
No, but I’ve listened to that godforsaken “Hits of Summer” song two years ago until my ears bled. My niece loved it.
@31_potter
I challenge you, right now, to go listen to “Small Man” and come back and tell me her audience is exclusively pre-teens. We’ll wait.
@itsaboutthescar
Fine.
@itsaboutthescar
…I acknowledge your point on age. I rest my case on emotional.
@potter_fanatic
But was it a good song?
@itsaboutthescar
It was perhaps less irritating than other songs of hers I have heard.
—
Twitter
@tomi_riddle
13 March, 2022
11:59 a.m.
[image description: the sunrise. her hand is clasped with a male’s hand.]
lips next to mine/whisper promises like wine. next single “red wine” out now.
2,983,769 likes, 1,453,654 retweets
@james_potter I actually demand compensation for this
@bellabix YOU’RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE
@cissysays they grow up so fast
@brighteststarr i just threw up a little bit in my mouth
@bagnoldd Come to Brazil
@harry_31 Red wine goes straight to my head
Liked by @tomi_riddle
—
@riddlemethis
rip to the entirety of the album darkest eyes bcs red wine is actually the most romantic song tomi riddle has ever written
@theriddler
Severus Snape could N E V E R
@prophecyyy
AND IT’S LIKE A PROPHECY/WOVEN IN A DAYDREAM my username mentioned im SCREAMING
@pocketfulofpansies
I actually think nobody is capable of loving me the way Tomi Riddle loves “whoever” Red Wine is about. I say “whoever” bcs…we know, right? We all know.
@prophecyyy
Tomi Riddle and Harry Potter go public WHEN i BEG you
@riddlemethis
those are my PARENTS
—
Tomi Riddle’s powerful love ballad ‘Red Wine’ hits different than all her previous ones, introducing a darker, more sensual, more mature version of herself
Tomi Riddle’s second single off her forthcoming album ‘Dear Diary’ is ‘Red Wine’, an intense love ballad detailing a quick-paced but passionate love affair. From a writer of many bubblegum pop love songs, this one feels deeper and more authentic – as if from a woman who’s been deeply hurt and is rediscovering what love is.
This single is, of course, being released as fans are discovering the singer may be in her first relationship after the implosion of her last one. Could Tomi Riddle be dating National’s star Harry Potter – and is he the focus of ‘Red Wine’?
—
Severus Snape delays release of second book in his latest series
Fans of author Severus Snape were notably saddened to learn that the release of the second book in the Statesman series has been delayed. The official reason is editorial concerns, but when asked for a statement, Snape quipped “it’s because of you-know-who”. The new release date aims for late October 2022.
—
Instagram
12:01 a.m.
31 July 2022
London, England
[image description: an open journal with indecipherable scribbles on the pages. an old fashioned lamp is turned on next to it.]
tomi_riddle: this album is meant to collect and share all of my thoughts, hopes, dreams, and feelings of everything that’s happened in my life over the years. i won’t lie and say that a majority isn’t focused on everything that’s happened in the last year, but there’s songs about my childhood, about old love, and about new love, all amongst the new heartbreak. so here. i hand you my diary, and i can only hope you find something worth keeping. i know in writing it, i sure did.
Liked by: bellabix, james_potter, brighteststarr, harry_31and 3,134,173 others.
@james_potter
IT’S HAPPENING, IT’S HAPPENING, NOBODY PANIC
@bellabix
oh my sweet lovely lemon tart we are so very proud of you!!!! congratulations my sweet!!!!
@brighteststarr
i still think you could have been meaner
@cissysays
we love you! congratulations my dear soul sister!
@lucysays
i’m going to tell EVERYONE who you snogged when you were fifteen. bet THAT’S not in the diary
@bagnoldd
Come to Brazil
@lunalune
This is hands down your best album.
@riddlemethis
we stan
@theriddler
TEAM TOMI
@harry_31
So pleased to be a page in your diary.
Liked by tomi_riddle
—