Chapter Text
My mentality was always intact.
I’ve wondered, when kids flinched at their parents, older men wore doggy tags, girls strayed away from men, purple spots blossomed on little boys, humans would cost less if darker, animals would lose their fur and humans would gain fluff, Earth would become drier and warmer, all would decay. Humans are the only form of suffering. Just break my heart already, it knows no bounds :)
Try as hard as you might, “only around 6% of SA incidents come to the attention of police in Canada. This means that about 94% of sexual assaults are not reported to authorities. Reasons for this low reporting rate include feeling the incident was too minor or personal, lacking confidence in the police, not wanting the hassle of dealing with the system, and fear of disbelief from law enforcement”.
Try as hard as you might, “surveys in the U.S. and Canada suggest that a significant percentage of crimes, potentially 50% or more, are not reported to the police. These unreported crimes often involve cases considered minor, personal, or where victims believe nothing will be gained by reporting.”
Try as hard as you might, “with sources suggesting millions of victims globally and indicating that the vast majority of cases go unreported due to factors like fear, shame, lack of awareness, and the covert nature of the crime. Statistics from police-reported data, like those from Statistique Canada, capture only a fraction of the true scope of human trafficking, as many victims never report their experiences to the authorities.”
I forgive you. I always will. Even if it hurts me as your deity. I see all, I hear all, I know all.
Your sins will cease to exist. That is what makes you human?
Tell me, what is it you are afraid of? Death? Well your greed and power can never go unnoticed now, can it? Life is a gift and death is the karma of your gift.
“And then one day my dad found out about me messaging with the opposite gender in my contacts and he got so angry and threatened to kill me. He even sharpened his knife, ready to finish me off. When I overheard that my dad was sharpening the knife I got so scared for my life.”
Do you feel remorse? Are you guilty? You should be. The moment your eyes held pride, envy, gluttony, greed, lust, sloth, and wrath.
I want to save you. I want to help you. Can’t you notice already? Don’t stop. You are my creation. I want the best for you. Please.
“Meaning is the general word denoting that which is intended to be or actually is expressed or indicated” I want meaning.
My mentality was always intact. I’ve been sane since forever. But why must I stay? Why would I.. When everybeing, human or not, would hurt.
I want to give you nothing. Then you will learn pain and smile. I want that. You will want that in those smart eyes of yours. Eyes that shed from the truth. Eyes that deceive. Deceit is stopping you. Can’t you understand?
“Nihilism is a philosophical doctrine that denies the existence of objective meaning, value, or truth in life. It's a perspective that often leads to skepticism and pessimism, questioning the foundations of morality, knowledge, and social structures. Essentially, nihilists believe that life is inherently meaningless and that there is no inherent purpose or value to existence.”
The day you stop thinking and hold your power to destroy is the day I will be proud. That’s all humans are? Horror onto horror built into layers, meant to “love”.
I don’t believe. Neither will you.
Every time it’s the end of the day, I always feel these sensations in me. It feels weird to say the least. Today I feel the same. But compared to yesterday, I feel awful. But not because of the sensations within me, because of how "human" I am. I don’t want