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The small wooden clock sitting atop the living room mantelpiece appears to tick slower than usualˏ as though it is mocking you every time you glance over at it from your spot on the sofa. The calendar hanging from the kitchen wall was flipped to June of 1942 and hearts drawn in pencil fill the once blank space of the 27th square. Max is due to come home from staff college. Not for goodˏ or even for all that longˏ but you take all that you can get in this turbulent time.
He sends letters from the staff college whenever he can. You tend to receive one long letterˏ written on paper that smells of his cologneˏ at least once a week. Sometimesˏ he gets lucky and has enough time to send off multiple letters through the week. But he had never been able to come home and visitˏ not many of them at the college were ever granted such a thing. The rules were strict and the men disciplined. You had no doubt that Max had managed to smooth talk his way into getting to come home for a weekend and return on the morning of Monday. Or perhaps he had impressed a higher up with something in his training. You could imagine either one of the two being true for him. He had not told you quite how he had finessed it in his last letterˏ just that he would be home to see you early Saturday morning.
You had been unable to sit still ever since that last letter had arrived. You had almost screamed with pure delight when you sliced the envelope open and read over his neatly written words; ‘Ich werde sei zuhause für das wochenendeˏ mein engel. Ich muss dich sehen.’ His own eagerness to come home and see you after so long was evident in his writing. Two days together now feels like it will be a whole lifetimeˏ not a mere passing weekend of uninterrupted bliss.
Nowˏ the morning of warm Saturday is upon you and you are waiting for Max to arrive with indescribable impatience. You have walked back and forth from the sofa to the window a multitude of times now. Your eyes flicker to the clock with every singular tick of the arms that sound out into the living room. Your fingers drum on the arm of the sofaˏ attempting to fight the urge to approach the living room window that overlooks the front garden for what could be the 100th time in ten minutes.
You lose the fight and breathe a soft sighˏ standing up from the sofa and stepping over to the window. Your hand comes up to push the whiteˏ flower cut lace curtain aside. The sun hits your face through the glass panesˏ warming your skin and bringing a soft smile to your face as you squint your eyes against the brightness. You scan the garden. An ecstatic gasp tears from your throat when you spot a familiarˏ uniformed figure sauntering past the white fence that protects a wall of rose bushes and entering the garden through the small gate.
The speed at which you move from the window is almost impossible. You run to the front door and rip it open. Max smiles at the sound and pauses in his steps towards the houseˏ watching you as you pause in the doorwayˏ staring at him with a wide smile of your own. “Halloˏ mein engel.” He gives a properˏ curt and teasing nod. He starts to laugh when you rush out from the doorway to meet him halfway as he stands tall in the middle of the pathway.
You all but launch yourself into himˏ your knees feeling weak as his unmistakable and irreplaceable scent fills your senses. No longer just a leftover scent that clings to a piece of paperˏ but now a scent that you can feel and bury your face into. Max catches you with a breathy laugh. The sound is riddled with his own eagerness to hold youˏ to feel you against him again after so long of being apart. His strong arms wrap around your waistˏ lifting your feet from the ground by an inch or two. You nestle your head into the crook of his neckˏ breathing him in as your arms hang around his neck. “Missed you so muchˏ my love.” Your voice is quiet and fans a warmth beneath his ear. He smiles and presses a lingering kiss to the side of your headˏ swaying you slightly in his arms before setting you back down so that your feet touch the ground again.
Max pulls back so that he can see your faceˏ checking you over with an observant and protective gaze. His arms do not move from their position around your waistˏ as yours do not lower from his neck. His eyes soften when they meet your own. He lowers his headˏ bringing his face closer to yours. “Ich habe dich mehr vermisst.” He replies. Both of you lean inˏ bringing your lips together in a sweetˏ deep kiss that carries a thousand unspoken things and pent up want for one another. He pulls back from the kiss by a minuscule inchˏ his breath minty and hot against your lower face. “You look beautiful. Even more beautiful than usual. I did not think it was possible.” He whispers into the small space between your faces. You let out a quiet laughˏ nudging his shoulder with your handˏ though a heat blooms across your face. He smiles at the spreading pigment on your skin. “Always a charmer…” Max closes the gap between you once more. “It is true.” He mumbles against your lipsˏ humming when you bring one of your palms down to cup his cheek.
The kiss lasts a few long secondsˏ with Max caressing your waist and you fiddling with the hair at the nape of his neck with one hand whilst the other strokes his cheek. You pull away from this one first and he chases your lips with an almost dazed but cheeky look in his deep green eyes. “We should go insideˏ my love.” You say. He sighsˏ a sound that says he is more than relieved to be homeˏ to sleep in the bed that you share together for once instead of the bed he has at the college. “Jaˏ we should.” He straightens his back and pulls you into his sideˏ wrapping an arm around your shoulders as the two of you walk back inside the house.
Max closes the front door behind the two of you with a careful nudge of his foot. He pauses in the living room. You look up at himˏ admiring his side profile as he looks around and sniffs the air. “You made apple pie?” He asksˏ his eyes snapping down to meet yours with an eagerˏ almost starved look. You knew he would smell the aroma in the air. The man could sniff out your baked treats from miles away. You laugh and nodˏ watching as he tilts his head back and closes his eyes with a massive smile. “I did… But it is not for until after dinnerˏ later on! You will have to wait.” Max growlsˏ a playful sound that only makes you laugh more.
You move from his side and sit down on the sofa ˏ moving yourself to position your back against the inside section of the arm. “Come hereˏ my love.” You gesture with your hands for Max to sit down in front of you. “Your shoulders look tense. You need to relaxˏ for once.” He strips his tunicˏ leaving him in a simple white button upˏ and hangs it on the coat rack that stands beside the door before following your guidanceˏ sitting down on the sofa with his back facing you. He lets out a quiet sight of ease when you bring your hands to his shouldersˏ starting a massage against his shoulders.
You watch as his head falls back against your shoulder. His eyes are closed in relaxationˏ hiding the enchanting forest pigment of his irises. His long black eyelashes flutter against his pale skin. “You feel so tense.” You say beside his earˏ your tone low and gentle with concern. “They are training you hardˏ hm? Too hardˏ i say…” You peck his cheek. Max huffs a quiet laughˏ his adams apple bobbing in his throat. His eyes crack openˏ staring up at you. “Do not worry about meˏ mein engel.” He moves a hand up to cover your own atop his shoulderˏ giving a reassuring squeeze before letting it fall. “It is good. I am goodˏ stronger. I must be stronger if am to protect this…” His tone dips into a near whisper towards the endˏ his voice trailing off as you continue your massage. You know what he means. This. You. The home you have together. The love you share.
Your hands pauseˏ one of them straying to caress his jawline. The sun shining through the windows highlights his features. The chiseled structure of his faceˏ the gel in his combed back hair. “I only want you to be okayˏ Max-” Your thumb strokes the skin beside his chin. He meets your eyes as you look down at him. “-I want you to be safe. That is all i ask for.” You finish. You have an idea of what will happen when he finishes his training. You know it does not involve him coming home to you for good. Of course not.
An unspeakable softnessˏ but also a knowing confidenceˏ swims in his eyes. He cups your cheekˏ gently pulling your face down to his and pressing a light kiss to the corner of your mouthˏ then your lips. You sigh into the kiss. Max tilts his headˏ deepening this kiss and swiping his tongue across your own before pulling back. Both of you are breathing heavier than beforeˏ both of your lips shine with a slight dampness. He presses his forehead against yoursˏ looking deep into your eyes. “Ich verspreche es dirˏ mein engel. I will always come home to you. I will always be safeˏ for you.” You nodˏ a slow and trusting movement.
The smell of apple pie wafts into the living room again with a passing breezeˏ breaking the moment of seriousness. Max groans at the smellˏ a sound of pure want that makes you laugh. “I have missed your food so much” He grumbles. Your eyes flicker to the kitchen through the living room doorway. “You can have it soon enoughˏ my love.” You pat his shoulders. “I prepared some carrots from the garden to use in our dinner later. The ones we planted?” His eyes light up. He still had a passionˏ a love for simple things like this; crops and self grown food. “Ah! I will have to go and see the garden. The crops are well?” You smile down at him and rest your head atop his. “They are wonderfulˏ my love. Your father would be proud.” He snorts a low laughˏ relaxing back against you with a quiet sigh and bringing one of his hands to stroke along your covered thigh.
The living room is blanketed with a comfortable silence and the smell of baked sweetness as the two of you sit together on the sofaˏ taking in the feeling of being together again. The room feels as though it is in a bubble of bliss. The living room feels warm and not because of the summer heat. You can hear the sound of birds singing outside through the open windows. Neither of you moveˏ nor do either of even you want to. Soonˏ you will. But for now? The moment feels unbreakableˏ sacred.
-
Night has fallen. You and Max have eaten lunch and dinnerˏ both of which he shovelled down as though he had not eaten in weeks. Not to mention the apple pieˏ which he almost finished all on his own without even meaning to. He checked over the crops in the gardenˏ looking down at them with a look akin to a proud father. He had praised you for at least five minutes for how well they were coming alongˏ a thing that caused you to both giggle and blush. The two of you have since retired to the bedroom.
It feels both familiar and new at the same time to have him back with youˏ to feel him behind you in bedˏ to feel his warmth against your back as he spoons you beneath the thin summer blankets. You crack your eyes open and let out a tired laugh into your pillow when you catch a slight whiff of the apple pie scene that still clings to him. Max lets out a questioning hum from behind you. “What is funny?” You laugh again before answering. “You smell like apple pie.” The room is dropped into silence for three seconds before the sound of his own tired laughter fills the airˏ spurring on your own once again. “Do not make me hungryˏ mein engel…” He teases. “You should not be hungry for another month given how much you ate tonightˏ my love.” You laughˏ shaking your head.
“I could never have enough of your food.” He groansˏ tightening his comfortable hold on you and pulling you tighter against his chest. You sighˏ a sleepy sound that makes him plant a kiss on the top of your head. “Go to sleepˏ engel.” He whispers beside your earˏ his own voice deepened with approaching sleep. “I am not going anywhere. Nicht heute abend.” Your heavy lidded eyes come to a close as you fade into the peaceful land of slumber. The last thing you hear is a hushed whisper of “Ich liebe dich.”
You fall asleep with a softˏ content smile on your lips and your lover holding you in his protective arms. For the first time in weeksˏ monthsˏ you sleep through the whole night on your side of the bed instead of hisˏ no longer needing to cuddle his pillow to smell his scent and pretend he is holding you. Tonightˏ he is holding you and you never want him to let you go in the very same way that he never wants to let you go.