Chapter Text
Red lights flared against the screen.
“Fuck fuck fuck,” Thadwick swore. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Thad was supposed to fix things. NOT GET HIS BLOODY BODY STAR SEEDED ANYWAY.
He wasn’t weak like Thadwick. He wasn’t as pathetic. He should have been strong enough. Strong like that stupid Asano. Strong enough to fight through it.
“You cannot be doing this to me you fucker!” Thadwick screamed uselessly at the screen before him. “You can’t leave me alone!”
—User Status Experiencing Corruption by external Astral Force. Would you like to initiate emergency override?
Yes/No
Emergency Override. Thadwick had no idea what that was. All he could think was that this couldn’t get worse. He accepted.
Emergency override activated. You may experience some turbulence during the transfer process.
Some turbulence was a weird way to describe soul piercing agony.
He was being stabbed. He was screaming. It hurt. It hurt so badly. Waves upon waves of increasing agony. His soul was ablaze. Lightning poured through him.
A moments peace before suddenly he was being dragged down.
There was nothing. Just pain. Pain. Agony. Nothing.
Soul Seed Integration Successful.
Thadwick didn’t feel any better. His flesh prison ached horrendously. His arms felt like they were being dragged from their sockets.
Thadwick looked up. That would explain it. Someone had literally chained his arms to the roof.
It hurt but also he had real arms. He could feel pain. He was back in his body.
Thad?
Only silence filled him.
“The seed seems to have taken complete control,” an almost familiar voice called. “That went far faster than I’d expected. Still, one can’t account for the innate weakness of a subject such as this one.”
They wore the robes of a Purity Priest.
What was their name again?
Thinking was a lot harder to think in a flesh suit. Not hard enough to explain Thad’s constant incompetence. But still more challenging than Thadwick remembered.
Nicolas Hendren. That was the name of their high priest, he was pretty sure?
Then there was Anisa. Pouting. Sunshine yellow hair pulled back in a tight ponytail. Her pale skin shining despite all the ways her all white outfit clashed with it.
She looked everything and nothing like the broken girl in the golden orange dress he had kissed.
Thadwick longed to get on his knees and ask her to run away with him.
Then he remembered he wasn’t stuck uselessly in his mind anymore. This wasn’t the right chance for it what with the high priest there and all. With him supposed to be controlled by a star seed.
He could feel it. Feel how it moved through his flesh— his stupid fucking body. He wasn’t feeling any specific message right now.
Instead Thadwick focused on what he should have done long ago and kept his stupid mouth shut.
If there was anything screaming in the back of Thad’s head had taught him. It was sometimes keeping quiet was the smarter option.
His patience was rewarded by being let down.
If he could have, he would have rubbed his arms. Instead he collapsed into a beautiful pile of Mercer on the floor.
Someone, not Anisa, began to move around his body. Something clicked and the suppression collar fell away. Thadwick barely kept himself from sighing with relief as he felt the rest of his iron rank abilities return.
“We need to leave the seeded body somewhere near Greenstone for Thalia Mercer to find. His mother has been in quite the tizzy over this fool. Not that I can say I understand what she sees in him.”
There was another sharp pain and Thadwick collapsed. Unconscious.
Thadwick woke up in his family home. His bed under him. The soft sheets and familiar scent in the air.
He took a deep breath and began to bawl. It hurt. Of course it did. Because there was not anything in his life he couldn’t manage to find a way to fuck up.
He fucked up his life. Repeatedly or something. He fucked up his death. He fucked up his job. The only thing he hadn’t fucked up was Thad, his Fixer-Upper, and that was because Thad was too dumb and earnest to do things like get corrupted.
That was until Thad’s earnestness had ended with a hit to the head and Thadwick dangling from the ceiling after fucking up saving that idiot too.
It was like that his whole life. He wasn’t good enough. He wasn’t good enough for his mother and sister. He wasn’t good enough for his father to even bother spending time with him. He wasn’t good enough for that stupid Asano with his stupid chin and his stupid hair and his stupider charisma. Gulling Thad into trusting and admiring him. Trying to be like him. Idiot.
Didn’t he know that he didn’t have Jason’s willpower or stupid good luck.
How did a man like him walk around without a care in the world go about digging deeper holes for himself and expect to not eventually fall in. So what if Asano managed it before thankfully dying but like—
There was a knock on the door.
“Enter,” Thadwick answered imperiously. Wait, Thad wouldn’t have said it like that. Whatever. He wasn’t Thad. He was the earlier better model. So what if he got himself killed jumping out of brothel. That was a…
“Thad, I just wanted to check up on you.”
Was that, Neil?
“I’m doing alright,” Thadwick insisted “There’s no need to—” wait, what would Thad say “b- worry yourself over pathetic little me.”
There nailed it.
“Thad?”
“There’s no need to look so concerned Neil. I told you I’m fine.”
“Its my job to look after you. Something that would be a lot easier if you didn’t keep vanishing behind our backs.”
Who was this fool trying to tell him, Thadwick Mercer— oh right he thought of him as Thad.
“I wasn’t vanishing behind your back,” Thadwick insisted. “I only got mildly kidnapped.”
“And beaten half to death!” Neil glared at him. “If the church of Purity hadn’t found you and rescued you—”
Thadwick couldn’t help letting out a loud laugh.
“The Church of Purity did what?! They’re the assholes who beat me up.”
“They did what?”
Thadwick shrugged. “From what I remember it had to do with me calling them a cult. Don’t know what I was thinking.”
That was a lie. Thadwick unfortunately knew exactly what Thad had been thinking.
“They… they… they wouldn’t have beaten you up over it,” Neil stammered.
“Well what do you expect from a bunch of fanatics?” Fuck Asano and his stupid mannerisms rubbing off on Thad and somehow corrupting even Thadwick who should know better.
Neil looked nervously at Thadwick. Thadwick resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He didn’t understand why Thad refused to just bang the guy and be done with it. It wasn’t… or well it sort of was Thadwick’s life.
Especially now that he was in charge of it. Again.
Mara Tia had told him the only one who could save him was himself. He had a second chance now. He wasn’t going to mess this up. Not for himself. Not for Thad.
And in order to get a game plan, he needed time to think.
“Listen—” that sounded right, didn’t it? “Can I get some room? I need to think.”
Neil looked even more worried at that. Why couldn’t he just listen to what Thadwick wanted?
“Thad, are you sure? If you’re still feeling sore I can—”
“Just leave me alone!”
Both boys froze. Neil’s arm on its way to Thadwick.
“I—” fuck “I need space right now.”
Thadwick wasn’t Thad. He most certainly didn’t feel any mortifying fondness for his servant like that.
“I’ll… I’ll give you some room. Call if you want anything.”
Neil seemed stiff and cold as he walked out. Thadwick’s chest felt oddly tight. He was a Mercer. Sure Thad had been causing him too act all… irrelevant regarding his station. But still, they were his servants. They should just follow what he said. Why should they look like it was a betrayal when he just re-established the status quo.
He was Thadwick. He was still himself. He wasn’t a monster for reestablishing the order when pressed. He was trying Dominion dammit!
He was regressing.
Thadwick waited until the steps out of his door quieted. Then he grabbed one of his pillows, shoved his head into it, and let out a muffled scream.
Then the last of his control slipped and the pain behind his eyes grew again as tears streamed down his face.
“How is he doing?” Thalia Mercer asked Neil.
Neil swallowed his fear. “Not well. Whatever he went through, it seems to have traumatized him. If I didn’t know better…”
It was what he was dreading saying.
“If you didn’t know better?” Thalia Mercer pressed.
“I would say he felt more like the old Thadwick.”
Thalia hated how her heart jumped.
The disappointment and fear that rose in her. She pushed it down. It didn’t matter who he was.
Whichever version might have returned to her, Thadwick was her son and she wasn’t going to risk losing him again.