Work Text:
As soon as the snake began to feel
that he would like a decent meal.
He went and knocked on grandpa's door.
When grandpa opened the door. He saw
the sharp white teeth, the horrid grin
and the snake said "may I come in?"
Poor grandpa was terrified
"He's going to eat me up!" he cried
and he was absolutely right.
The snake ate him up in one big bite.
Now grandpa was small and tough
and snake wailed,"That's not enough!"
I haven't yet began to feel
that I have had a decent meal!"
He ran around the kitchen yelping
"I've got to have a second helping!"
Then added with a frightful leer
"I'm therefore going to wait right here,
till little boy nine tails red riding hood
comes home from walking in the wood."
He quickly put on grandpa's clothes,
(of course he hadn't eaten those.)
He dressed himself in a coat and hat,
he put on shoes and after that
he even brushed and curled his hair
then sat himself in grandpa's chair.
In came the little boy in red,
he stopped he stared and the he said
"What great big ears you have grandpa."
"All the better to hear you with."
the snake replied.
"What big eyes you have grandpa."
said little boy nine tails red riding hood.
"All the better to see you with"
the snake replied.
He sat there watching him and smiled,
he thought I'm going to eat this child.
Compared to his old grandpa
he is going to taste like caviar.
Then little boy nine tails red riding hood said
"But grandpa what a lovely great big
scaly coat you have on."
"That's wrong!" cried the snake.
"Have you forgot
to tell me what BIG TEETH I've got?
Ah well no matter what you say,
I'm going to eat you anyway"
The small boy smiles.
One eye flickers,
he whips a pistol from his knickers.
He aims it at the creature's head
and bang, bang he shot him dead.
A few weeks later in the woods,
I came across little boy nine tails red riding hood.
But what a change!
No cloak of red,
no silly hood on his head.
I walked to him.
And he said "Hello and do please note
my lovely protecting snakeskin coat."