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forgive me (i'm just a man)

Summary:

“Deep down, I would trade the world to have an ability like my siblings. I’m just like my dad. But when did that become a bad thing, you know? When I was little, before I knew what having an ability really was, I always thought my dad was the coolest ever.”

OR Keefe and Rex have a conversation about Rex being talentless

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

“I’ll talk to him,” Keefe told Dex. “This is my fault. Please, I’ll talk to him.”

“It’s not your fault,” Dex mumbled. “I can tell him.”

Keefe shook his head. “You shouldn’t have to tell your own brother that…”

That his entire life was ruined? That he would probably not be allowed to love the person he wanted one day? That he would have to watch everyone around him including his siblings have powers while he was powerless?

“Okay,” Dex whispered hoarsely. 

Keefe nodded, and forced a small smile on his lips that held no joy. 

Rex looked at him with blood-shot eyes, and the sight of him felt like a punch. 

But Keefe forced himself to go in and sit next to him. 

“Why haven’t I gotten powers yet?” Rex asked. The question that Keefe wished he never had to answer. “You know, don’t you? You know something. That’s why you and Dex talk in whispers all the time. You never cared about Dex before my Lex and Bex got their powers.”

Keefe blinked. “You know, you remind me of when I was younger. I look into your eyes, and I think of who I once was. You’re as old as I was when I found out my mother never really loved me.”

Rex stared at him. “Excuse me?”

Keefe laughed, forcing himself not to cry. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I just… I don’t know how to tell you. I think my punishment for this is endless pain. For just… for everything. I don’t know. You should spare yourself the truth. How could I hurt you?”

A tear slipped from Rex’s eyes. “I just am trying to fit in with everyone else. Why can’t I do that?”

Keefe wrapped his arms around himself, and wondered if it was too late to get Dex to do it. He wasn’t strong enough to tell Rex. What would it help, anyway? Some part of Rex knew. 

“I think I know what you’re going to say,” Rex whispered. “Can I tell you a secret?”

Keefe nodded. 

“Deep down, I would trade the world to have an ability like my siblings. I’m just like my dad. But when did that become a bad thing, you know? When I was little, before I knew what having an ability really was, I always thought my dad was the coolest ever.”

“Rex,” Keefe started, and his voice cracked. Stay strong, he reminded himself. 

Rex looked away from him, and Keefe knew he was hiding tears. He hated that someone had to try to hide tears from him. Had to hide anything. Was Keefe like his own father? 

“I don’t know what I did to deserve this. I must have done something really bad. Maybe it’s because I’m a triplet and my dad, my dad’s… Why did I have to become a monster?”

Keefe leaned back, exhaling. He couldn’t have said those words better himself, but Rex wasn’t the monster. Keefe was. Maybe if it weren’t for him, Rex would have had a few more years of innocence. Of not being compared to his siblings; being the only one who had to go through this. 

“You are not a monster,” he said firmly. Partly to himself, although he wasn’t sure that one was true. He had been genetically engineered to be a monster. No matter how hard he tried to escape it, he couldn’t, not really.

Rex finally looked back at him, tears soaking his red cheeks. “How can you say that? How can you say I’m not a monster? I’m just a… a talentless!”

His back hunched as he broke into sobs. 

Keefe stared for a moment, feeling distant from the situation, before snapping back into focus. 

“Forgive me,” he whispered. 

“Why?” Rex whimpered. “What did you do?”

“Forgive me,” Keefe repeated faintly. “I can tell what abilities people have, and I can… trigger them.”

Rex’s mouth opened, and there was a long moment of silence. “You mean you triggered Lex and Bex’s abilities?”

Keefe nodded, a rush of shame overtaking him. 

“Oh,” Rex said faintly. “I…”

“I’m sorry,” Keefe whispered, nausea rising in his throat. It had been a while since he had last eaten, but he still felt like he might throw up. 

“I’m not mad at you,” Rex mumbled, going eerily still as his sobs stopped. A few tears slid down his cheek silently. 

“I understand what it feels like,” Keefe whispered. “Maybe not exactly. I guess I won’t understand what you’re going through. But I know what it feels like to think you’re not enough. I even know what it’s like to want a different family.”

Rex’s lips wobbled. “I don’t… I don’t want a different family. I love them.”

Keefe looked away, digging his nails into his skin. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it like that. Of course you love your family. I guess I do too. It’s more like wanting a different life, even if you know you shouldn’t.”

He felt something warm, and realized Rex had wrapped his arms around him. 

Keefe gasped, and turned, awkwardly returning the hug. His arms were stiff, and it felt kind of weird, but he didn’t move.

“I’m not mad at you,” Rex mumbled. “I don’t blame you. It would have happened eventually.”

The tears that Keefe had been trying to fight back fell from his eyes. “You said you felt like a monster. That at least I understand. I have horrible powers. I could make someone kill themselves, if I wanted.”

Rex pulled back, and placed his hands in his lap. “But you don’t want to, do you?”

Keefe shook his head. “Look, kid, you don’t have to comfort me. You’re dealing with enough stress yourself.”

Rex crossed his arms. “I’m not a kid.”

“Yes, you are. Let yourself enjoy it. Even if it sucks. Enjoy what you can of it.”

“How?”

Keefe looked down. “Did you know that my… my girlfriend is unmatchable?”

Rex frowned. “What’s that?”

“She can’t get matched with anyone. And I wouldn’t apply for it anyway. It’s a stupid rule that people can’t be with the ones they love. I’m going to fight like hell to get the match-making system to go away, and it might not be for a long time, but I’m going to do my best to make it happen.”

Rex swallowed. “But there’s more to it then that. No one will like me.”

“The right people will like you even if you don’t have a talent,” Keefe told him. “There’s more to you than that.”

Rex said nothing else, and neither did Keefe. They sat in silence, but it was okay. Not good, not perfect, but okay.

Notes:

...this started out as an attempt at a songfic and ended up as an unrelated hurt/comfort fluff fic 😭

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