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Growing up, Bucky had always kept his soulmark hidden. Not even Steve had seen it, which stung a little bit, knowing that Bucky wouldn’t even trust his best friend enough to show it. He had assumed that it was in a place which made Bucky uncomfortable, but still. It’s not like he would have laughed or teased him about it.
The truth is that Bucky never had a soulmark.
Normally, if your soulmate is younger than you, the soulmark appears after a few years, but when Bucky went to war, it still hadn’t shown. He was certain that there was never any sign of it, since he checked every single morning, getting disappointed every time.
The guys in the war weren’t as understanding as Steve had been; they joked and laughed at him, whilst Bucky tried to laugh along, not knowing that they hurt him in the process. They had no idea what was to come.
Years later, he had long been held in the hands of Hydra, Bucky was glad that he didn’t have a soulmate. He was sure that the universe had decided that he didn’t deserve one, which, to be honest, secretly hurt, but definitely was for the better.
Getting used to the feeling of not having a soulmate made the shock that much bigger when, one morning, Bucky found a handprint on the left side of his chest. It was very close to where the scarred tissue of his skin roughly blended into the metal of his arm, making him feel quite uncomfortable to know that was going to be shirtless the day you met.
Also, in the back of his mind, a small voice couldn’t help but ask, what if my soulmate is with Hydra? It would have made sense since during the procedures he never wore a shirt and how on earth was he going to meet another person that was neither with Hydra nor his target?
Growing up, you, too, felt insecure about your soulmark. It was a giant print in the shape of a hand, but instead of an obvious handprint in a pretty skin colour like all the other ones you had seen, it was weirdly shaped and grey. It looked like an unusually shaped prosthetic hand with all the different parts to it. Most people were grossed out by it and laughed to cover it up. And whilst you tried your best to laugh along, the uncertainty of what your mark would mean never left your mind.
As you grew older into your teenage years, you started embracing it. You began to enjoy the difference to others and how it made you stand out of the ordinary crowd. In summers, you even tried to wear backless dresses or shirts as often as possible to show it off.
Once you started as an agent at S.h.i.e.l.d., you stopped wearing that type of clothing. Simply because it was very unpractical and also obviously against work policy. This was why nobody had seen it since then except for you when you looked in the fogged up mirror in the bathroom after a shower. Every time, you wondered when you would finally get to meet your soulmate. You wouldn’t care if they had a prosthetic arm, simply because you decided you were going to love them no matter what.
Even after you joined the Avengers, you didn’t pick up your habit of wearing backless tops when you weren’t wearing your combat clothes. You weren’t so keen anymore on showing off, it just felt a bit weird to do so, now that you were older.
Although, you couldn’t let yourself hide it completely, either.
You had just come back from an exhausting mission and wanted nothing more that to peel yourself out of your tight, sweaty combat clothes when you were met with the sight of a stranger standing in the living room. He had his back to you, meaning you were able to see his very prominent and defined back muscles through his dark grey shirt. You had to admit, it was a pretty sight.
As the stranger turned around in your direction, just like Steve and Tony did after hearing you step into the room, you recognised him as Steve’s oldest friend Bucky. It surprised you to see him in the Avengers Tower.
Noticing that he seemed to feel a little out of place, you decided to step forward and extend your hand.
“Hi, I’m Y/N,” you introduced yourself, “Nice to meet you.” You willed your voice to sound as kind as it was possible after the long mission.
Bucky glanced at your hand, which was bruised in some places, and hesitated before taking it. You noticed that he was wearing gloves as well and very careful with his grip.
“You, too. I’m Bucky.” His voice had a deep grumble as he responded slowly.
Steve engaged himself into the conversation. “Bucky is going to move in with us.”
“Sorry we didn’t tell you guys, but it’s all pretty sudden,” Tony explained.
“Really?” Your face moved up to meet Bucky’s. “That’s great.” Even though you tried to sound excited, your tiredness got the better of you and you ended your sentence with a yawn.
“Long mission?”, Bucky asked slightly amused.
“What makes you think that?”, you joked, gesturing to your dirty, bloody and bruised body.
Bucky chuckled along, even if not as loudly. “Oh, y’know, spy abilities.”
“And you also look kind of dead,” Tony interrupted.
“Thanks, Tony. That’s so nice of you to say,” you replied sarcastically, yawning again. Although you would have loved to joke some more, you needed to rest. “I’m sorry. I really have to take a shower and sleep for a week or two. I hope that’s okay, Cap?” You were indicating the report each of you had to fill out after a mission.
“Of course. You can tell me about the mission tomorrow,” Steve said, sensing your exhaustion, and letting you off easier than usual.
Grateful, you nodded your head and made your way over to the elevator.
The next weeks with Bucky new in the Avengers Tower were rather quiet. He didn’t talk much and although you would have like to spend time with him, at least to make him feel more included, he didn’t give you the chance as he was mostly either in his room or the gym.
After two months of training and going on small missions together, Tony publicly announced that Bucky would from now on be part of the Avengers. And surprisingly, the people were okay with it. Well, a few were angry and said disgusting things, but most didn’t seem to mind too much.
Bucky’s abilities regarding the planning of strategies for missions were amazing. He always had great ideas that brought the team to success most of the time.
Months since he had moved in, he eventually started to open up; the team acknowledged his abilities and thus encouraged him to speak up, so it now felt like you all had known him for years. You joked around all the time, although, after missions, he went up into his room immediately and didn’t come out until the next morning, not even letting Steve in sometimes.
Also, you noticed how Bucky kept a little more of a distance to you that to the others. You decided to not confront him about it – yet –, as it was probably just him getting used to all the new people in his life and you didn’t want to pressure him.
What did bother you, though, was that it kept getting weirder.
You were sitting with Nat at the breakfast bar in the kitchen, talking about your plans for the weekend, as Bucky walked in.
“Morning, Buck,” you both said at his sight.
Bucky laid eyes on you and immediately turned on his heel to leave.
With a confused expression, Natasha faced you. “What was that?”
You sighed heavily. “You tell me. He’s been like this for weeks. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”
Natasha laid a hand on your shoulder. “I don’t think it’s you. He’s probably just tired or something. You know him.”
You sceptically raised an eyebrow at her. “Do I? We probably talked about ten words with each other in the past year.”
“And? He just doesn’t talk a lot,” your friend reasoned.
“With you, he has inside jokes,” you reasoned and your voice had become a little desperate, much to your surprise.
Nat noticed it, too, of course. “What’s up with you?”, she laughed, “Are you jealous?”
“What? No!” You shoved her back lightly by her shoulder. “Why the fuck would I be jealous?”
“Because you’re in love with him,” Nat smirked.
You rolled your eyes and opened your mouth to protest but the person entering the kitchen beat you to it. “Y/N is in love with who?”, Steve wondered.
Before you even had the chance to stop her, Nat answered, “Bucky.”
“Shut up!”, you exclaimed, slapping your hand over her mouth.
“I knew it!” Tony, who had just stepped around the corner, clapped his hands together. He turned to Steve, holding out his hand. “You owe me twenty bugs.”
Steve sighed and handed him the money he took out of his jeans.
“I hate you all.” You stood up and stomped towards the hallway, ignoring your name being called.
It was three in the morning and you really started to regret not going to dinner. After your encounter with Nat, Steve and Tony, you weren’t ready to face them until at least the next morning.
You wanted to trust them in not telling anyone about it, but at the same time, Natasha and especially Tony were little shits.
Sighing, you kicked away your covers and threw your feet over the side of the bed. Only bothering with pants, you wore nothing but sweats and a sports bra on your way to the kitchen.
Thinking about what you could make yourself, you didn’t notice the other presence in the room until you walked straight into them. An arm draped around your frame to keep you from falling.
“Shit, sorry,” you said, “I didn’t see you there.”
The moment you looked up changed everything. You recognised the piercing blue eyes instantly as Bucky’s and as you tried to get out of his grasp, you noticed the burning sensation on your lower back right where both his left hand and your soulmark were.
Bucky didn’t let go of you, though, and instead glanced down at his bare chest, where your right hand was – and his own mark.
Simultaneously, you both looked up back into each other’s eyes.
“You feel that, too?”, he asked nervously.
You nodded in response, tears starting to well in your eyes. You had found your soulmate.
But something in Bucky changed and he immediately took a step back, letting go of you. “I’m sorry.”
Your eyes widened in shock and you drew back your hand that had instinctively reached out. “What?”
Bucky turned around with his hands clenched into fists at his sides. “I’m sorry.”
The mixture of wanting to cradle him up in your arms and also the confusion as to why he would reject you like that freaked you out further and the tears spilled over and down your face. He whispered something but you couldn’t hear. “I don’t understand. I-“
Bucky turned around, letting you see his own tears. “I’m sorry it’s me!” He yelled and you jumped a little at the sudden raise of volume. You didn’t know what to say.
“See? It’s been less than two minutes and I already made you cry! I don’t deserve you.” Defeated, he let his posture drop. It gave you the opportunity to step into his personal space. You lifted your hand to brush a strand of his thick hair out of his face.
“You’re wrong.”
Bucky furrowed his eyebrows. “What if I’m not? I mean, think of all the shit I’ve done in the past. What if I freak out again and hurt you?” His tears started to spill over again. “Oh God. I couldn’t live with myself if I ever hurt you.”
With your thumb you wiped away his tears, shaking your head. “You won’t.”
He wanted to take a step back again but was met with the counter. “How can you know that?”
“Buck, look at me.” You waited until he did before you continued. “I trust you. Do you remember when you first came with us on missions and there was that one time where I didn’t notice the guy behind me and you sprinted across the whole field and through the fire to save me even though we have the intercom?”
Bucky nodded barely noticeable.
“Would you do that again?”, you asked, already knowing the answer.
He looked up. “Anytime.”
“And I trust you to do that. Even when you have nightmares or freak out, I trust that you would never intentionally hurt me.” You managed to gather up the courage to wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight embrace. After all, you didn’t know if he was okay with being touched as he had been always keeping a safe distance.
He seemed not to mind, though, as he wrapped his strong arms around you, pulling you into him further.
Bucky hid his face in your neck when you started to run your hands through his hair comfortingly. “Are you sure you want me?”, he asked carefully, his voice mumbled by your skin where you could feel his warm breath.
“Always,” you promised and you willed your own voice to sound as certain as it possibly could.
You stood there for a while, neither of you knew how long exactly but it felt like it had been years, but in the best way possible, as you parted again.
“I’m glad it’s you,” Bucky said out of the blue. “It’s kinda weird, but when I first saw you I wanted it to be you.”
A smile made its way into your expression. “Really?”
Bucky nodded in response. “I’ve had a crush on you for quite a while now,” he confessed sheepishly.
You couldn’t believe it. “Me, too,” you whispered and in return his whole face lit up. But why had he acted so differently around you? “Is that why you were so awkward around me? – I mean, not that it was bad or anything I’m just wondering,” you quickly added when you saw his happy expression falter.
“I guess…,” he said but it sounded more like a question.
“Buck, there’s nothing to feel embarrassed about,” you assured him.
“Now I know that you like me back, can I touch you whenever I want?”
“Um…” You looked at him dumbfounded. “I do think I have a say in that as well…”
In return, Bucky struggled to find a reply. “No! I meant like hugging or, y’know.”
“Ohh!” You finally caught on. “Yes, I would love that,” you said, laughing and you saw him relax again at the same time as you felt your stomach grumble.
Bucky must have heard it, too because he raised his eyebrows. “Hungry?”, he smirked, now wiggling his brows.
“Yes, but for food, you pervert,” you said, slapping his arm when you saw the look he was giving you.
“Let me make you some.” Bucky stepped around you to fetch some things from the fridge.
Bucky and you didn’t necessarily keep the fact that you were soulmates hidden, you just didn’t tell anyone about it. Instead, you had decided that it would be funny to just randomly start interacting more to see when they would catch on.
It had been a few days and nobody seemed to notice anything. Well, Nat had shot you some glances when she saw you two talking more often than before. You usually just shrugged in response.
And honestly, the days of waiting for them to realize what was going on between you and Bucky were starting to become too many and you just wanted to shout it out already. You wanted to make them sick with your cuteness, because – who new – Bucky had a massive sweet side.
Also, in the past days, you had kissed multiple times but you were yet to have an actual make out session – or more for that matter. But since you didn’t know if Bucky would be comfortable with that right now, you decided to let him make the first step as you didn’t want to pressure him.
“Do you know when they’re coming back?”, you asked – at least trying to sound casual – about Steve, Sam, and Bucky, who were supposed to have returned from a mission by now.
“They’re late – as usual. Should be here any minute,” Tony replied. “Why do you care so much?”
“Oh, I know,” Natasha piped up from her bowl of cereal, chuckling.
“What is with you people?”, you snapped. You were unable to fully control your voice, since you hadn’t really slept the night before, worrying more about your boyfriend’s safety than you thought you would.
“Hey, guys,” you heard Steve say. Instantly, your head snapped up in his direction. Behind him, Sam and Bucky shuffled into the kitchen area.
To your dismay, all you wanted was to run up to your soulmate to wrap him up in a giant hug and never let go, but you didn’t know if he would be okay with it.
He bet to the decision, though, because before you could even make a step forward, Bucky had taken two long strides through the room.
And you didn’t even hear the others ask what was going on because your body and mind were pretty much occupied in the kiss that Bucky’s lips captured yours with, in that very moment.
It was nothing like the other kisses you had shared in the past. This one was more passionate and slightly rough, but nevertheless loving and you could feel how much he had longed for this. Namely just as much as you had.
You wrapped your arms around his neck and your fingers gripped at the roots of his hair to pull him closer to you whilst he drew you in by your hips.
Both of you forgot that you weren’t alone in the room until you were reminded by Tony clearing his throat.
Seemingly not fazed at all, Bucky slowly let go of you. “I’m gonna take a shower,” he smiled, “Movie afterwards?”
Biting your lip, you nodded.
“Amazing.” He pecked your lips once more before turning away to leave for the elevator.
Having forgotten, again, that you weren’t alone, you jumped about a foot in the air at the rest of the team’s existence. “Shit! Don’t shock me like that!”
“We didn’t do anything,” Nat deadpanned.
“You’re one to talk!”, yelled Sam, “You just randomly start to make out with Bucky in the middle of the kitchen right in front of us.”
At his words, you felt your cheeks grow hot. “Sorry,” you mumbled, shifting your body from side to side shyly.
“Oh, don’t be,” reassured Wanda, “Just tell us what that was about, maybe?”
You couldn’t stop the massive grin that crept up onto your face as you said simply, but not before taking a deep breath to prepare yourself, “We’re soulmates.”
The whole room went completely quiet whilst everyone stared at you in shock.
“What?” Nat was the first to break the silence. “How did it happen?”
“Yeah. Haven’t you guys touched before?” Tony piped up asking.
You shook your head. “He was wearing gloves when we met”, you explained and looked around their faces to search for any signs of anger or dislike. They all looked solely surprised, but when you reached Steve, he seemed not as much as the others. “He told you, didn’t he?”
Steve nodded, smiling. “On the way back. But I would love to hear the story from you, too.”
You took another deep breath. “Well, a few days ago I was hungry at about three in the morning and in the kitchen I ran into Buck. He caught me and stopped me from falling and, like, yeah…” For visualising, you turned around and lifted your top.
“Were you naked?”, wanted Tony to know, but was quickly silenced by Steve.
“Tony!”, he hissed.
“What? We’re not in the forties anymore, old man.”
Before Steve could reply, Tony stood up to examine your soulmark. “This is fascinating,” he breathed, the air ghosting over the skin on your lower back, “You can exactly see every little detail of his hand.”
He was interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. “What is this?” It was Bucky.
You couldn’t see it, but with lightning speed, Tony straightened up from where he was crouching on the floor behind you. The others chuckled at the sight. Nat rolled her eyes.
Bucky stood with his legs apart and arms crossed, eyebrows raised. Dating a super soldier was fun, especially now that you knew he could get jealous. Tony had been unsuccessfully trying to flirt with you for years.
“Uh, sorry?” It was obvious that he had no idea about what to do with the situation – also hilarious, but you wanted to spend some time with Bucky alone.
“Come on, darling. Don’t let him bleed,” you said, “Let’s go upstairs and watch that movie you were talking about earlier.”
Your boyfriend let his masquerade fall and stepped forward. “I’ve got a better idea.” With one swift motion, he lifted you up and over his shoulder.
“Let me down!”, you exclaimed, banging your fist onto his massive back.
“Nope,” Bucky stated simply and slapped your ass to prove his point. “And you better watch out before you accidently hit the floor.”
“As if you would let that happen,” you replied, hanging from his shoulder. Much to your dismay Bucky really enjoyed teasing you, because he pretended to let go of your legs, making you slip slightly before he caught you again.
“Asshole! Now let me down.”
The others laughed at the scene in front of them as Bucky walked you two out of the room and in the direction of the elevator.
“Use protection, kids!”, you could hear Sam yell and just before the doors closed you managed to holler, “Fuck off, Wilson!”
“That’s my girl,” Bucky chuckled.
“You can fuck off, too, idiot.”