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Daeyoung was almost asleep when he heard it.
“Jehi,” a soft voice whispered into the darkness, probably testing the waters to see if he was still awake.
He turned towards the other bed, looking at his roommate's vague form.
“Hm?”
“I can't sleep, can you come on a walk with me? Please?” Yushi asked. His voice was low and hesitant, he was probably conflicted with himself for bothering his roommate at such an hour.
Daeyoung knew that he could have pretended not to hear, that once the morning came, Yushi would just act as if nothing had happened, as if it had all been a dream.
“Of course, hyung.”
When their already busy schedules got even crazier than usual, Yushi sometimes struggled to sleep, his spiraling thoughts keeping him awake late into the night.
Given that Daeyoung knew about this, and considering their growing proximity, he didn't have the heart to say no.
So he turned on the light in his bedside table and started getting dressed, putting on warm layers in order to face the cold outside. Yushi did the same across from him, not even bothering to fix his hair, instead just pushing a dark hat over it.
This new dorm arrangement was recent, and if Daeyoung was being honest, it suited their relationship well.
They had always liked to room with each other for overseas activities – being in tune with each other's moods and needs made it easy for them to get along. So when the chance to permanently room together arose, they took it.
“Ready?” He asked.
Yushi just nodded at him, looking impossibly soft in his big blue puffer.
As they moved through the dorm, they were careful to not make any noise. After all, the last thing they wanted was to accidentally wake Sion and get scolded for being awake at such hours.
“Hyung, where do you want to go?” Daeyoung asked once they made it outside, looking down at the boy by his side.
“I want to go see the river,” Yushi replied.
It wasn't their first time going to such a spot, the peaceful lul of the water seemed to be one of the few things able to calm Yushi's thoughts.
They started making their way there, walking closely side by side, their arms occasionally touching.
In the dead of the night, the streets were practically empty, void of people and vehicles. The only company they had were the glowing traffic lights, along with the few shops that still had their window lights on.
“Can we sit for a bit?” Yushi inquired once they got to the riverside.
“Of course,” Daeyoung replied, plopping down in one of the wooden benches.
He would never be able to refuse any of Yushi's requests, and he knew that Yushi was aware of it. But he would always appreciate the fact that his hyung never took it for granted.
Yushi sat down next to him, only a few centimeters apart. It didn't take long for him to move closer and rest his head against Daeyoung, letting out a quiet sigh as he did so.
Daeyoung put one arm around his shoulder, pulling him even closer.
“Does it ever scare you?” Yushi asked into the quiet of the night.
His words were vague, he could be talking about a multitude of things, from their quick rise in popularity to how intense some fans could be, or even how uncertain the future was in their industry.
Somehow, Daeyoung knew he wasn't talking about any of those.
“Yes,” he admitted.
He didn't know exactly when it started, but it was there. Whenever he looked at his hyung, a sense of love and tenderness would bloom in his chest. It went against everything they were taught to avoid, and yet, he couldn't stop it.
When they first debuted, they hadn't been super close, it took time for them to get used to each other. Gradually, they started getting closer. His hyung would sit by his side more often, sometimes even sharing his food with him, other times simply keeping him company.
Daeyoung might put up an innocent and oblivious front sometimes, but he wasn't stupid. When Yushi started to behave differently, he noticed. The way his touches lingered, the way he'd sit closer without needing to, clinging to him like a cat, none of it escaped Daeyoung’s gaze.
Then came the lives, where Yushi would always inquire about Jaehee's whereabouts, even whining his name for thousands of fans to hear. Hearing him utter his name in such a needy tone made Daeyoung want to act on his feelings – he needed to hear Yushi using the same tone but under different circumstances.
However, they needed to be careful. A lot of their interactions could be passed off as fanservice, as if they were just making sure their fans got the content they so much desired. But their jobs came with a line they couldn't cross. The same fans that claimed to love them could easily turn their backs on them. One wrong move could tarnish their names and reputations in the industry forever.
In the end, they fell victim to the magnetic pull between them, but they still hadn't acted on it. Their feelings were still locked away, waiting for the day they would feel free enough to speak them into existence.
“Do you regret it?” Yushi murmured.
“No,” Daeyoung replied, “never.” It was true. No matter what hardships they may face in the future, he would never regret making space in his heart for the person sitting beside him.
He didn't have to ask Yushi the same question, because not long after answering, he felt one of his hands make its way into his pocket.
It was an awkward angle, so Yushi couldn't lace their fingers together, but he still caressed Daeyoung's hand.
“Do you want me to go buy a snack from the convenience store?” Daeyoung asked after a while. Considering how much his hyung loved food, sometimes it was the key to cheer him up.
“No, I'm good,” Yushi whispered.
They stayed huddled together for a long time, looking at the dark surface of the river.
When Yushi finally started to feel tired, he tugged at Daeyoung's jacket, signaling that he wanted to go back to the dorm.
Once they made it to their room, they didn't need to exchange words. Daeyoung helped Yushi remove his jacket and his hat, placing them in their respective spots in his closet. Then, they soundlessly changed into their pajamas, getting ready to sleep. This time however, Yushi joined Daeyoung in his bed.
Daeyoung had been expecting it, so he made space for him, scooting to one corner so his hyung could lay down however he wanted to. In the end, Yushi still chose to cling to him. He pushed Daeyoung so that he was laying on his back and rested his head on his chest, placing one arm around his waist.
Daeyoung could feel the tight grip on his pajamas.
“Relax hyung, I'm not going anywhere,” he said, gently running a hand down his back.
His hyung, who worked tirelessly hard for years in order to debut, who put aside all of his wants and desires so that his biggest dream could come true. Now that he was finally opening up and becoming more comfortable with being himself, Daeyoung couldn't resist the need to spoil him, just like he deserved.
He placed a kiss on the crown on his head before murmuring, “Sleep well, Yushi.”
For now, with the pressure of their jobs and the weight of not messing things up for the rest of the group, they couldn't do anything other than take one day at a time. So that's exactly what they would do.