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The story of a country girl earning an opportunity to move overseas and pursue a dream of becoming pop star is already so make-believe that even Hallmark movies have their country girls doing a more realistic job, like saving a small-town family business.
But not only has Lily done exactly that, she has come across the world and ended up in the same country, same city, same company, and even the same trainee class as Haewon.
An astronomical coincidence?
No. An absolute miracle, if you ask Haewon.
They made the decision to chase the same dream, side-by-side, as they went from the youngest trainees in the class, to the oldest veterans in the group as they watched those in the years above debut with major success.
NMIXX is more than two women, but it’s easy to see why Haewon sees herself and Lily in their own special world.
After all, they already made public plans to not only support each other at their eventual solo concerts way in the future, but to sing two songs during intermission and a duet to top it off.
With no doubt in their mind they expect to still be side-by-side for the next decade and the decade after that, just like they have been for the past decade.
But it was inevitable that someone as loveable as Lily would find deep connections with other members in the group.
And it was probably inevitable that it would be with Bae.
Haewon knows her bond with Lily is as deep and colourful as an ocean of rainbows, but she can’t help but feel like she’s now being forced to share.
Since becoming roommates the chemistry between Lily and Bae has blossomed into something also beautiful, openly dreaming about how nice it would be to wake up to each others’ face every morning for the rest of their lives.
Understandably, this makes Haewon want to rip a phone book in half.
But there is nothing she can do. Lily is doing nothing wrong, she genuinely has love for Bae, as she does for every other member.
But just because Lily is innocent doesn’t stop it from hurting.
It doesn’t stop Haewon from feeling helpless and lonely and replaceable and second-best.
Which is insane, because Haewon is an undeniable superstar in every sense of the word.
There was a time during NMIXX’s first two years where she was still trying to prove herself. As a singer, as an idol, as a comedian, as a host and entertainer.
Well, she has now well and truly proven herself.
There is not a sane person paying attention who could try to discredit Haewon’s talent, or beauty, or charisma, or whatever else.
And after this long, Haewon even knows it herself.
The thought of being Lily’s closest friend in the group, as well as the leader, and closest in age — and still falling short to the 6-foot lady-killer known as Jinsol — was too crushing to think about.
So instead of thinking about it Haewon decided to fight emotional distance with emotional distance.
Becoming more independent, colder, cooler.
She became an in-demand model for known brands. She starred on Workdol, showing she can comfortably survive without NMIXX if she needed to.
And now she’s even blonde, which she knows Lily likes, or else why would Lily have stayed blonde herself for so long?
Haewon’s relentless ambition drives her to take on new and exciting opportunities, but deep down it is because Lily’s opinion that shapes who Haewon wants to be as a person.
After constantly pairing up with Lily during their NMIXX YouTube content in the past, Haewon has tried to make an effort to be nonchalant and not even stand or sit near Lily in group content.
While this is a self-imposed hell for Haewon, unfortunately it literally has no effect on Lily, who is always as happy as a golden retriever to be placed beside whichever random member she is blessed to spend time with.
Kyujin, Jiwoo and Sullyoon all have their own special relationships with Lily, and Bae is basically head-over-heels.
It forced Haewon to get even more desperate for Lily‘s attention, aiming her destructive nuclear Cupid’s arrow at the Lily-Bae relationship.
The plan was simple: get a polaroid with Bae, and put it in the back of the matching phone case that you bought with Lily.
An innocent and sweet gesture at first glance to the untrained eye, but a deliberate and aggressive escalation of tactics in the eyes of Lily, who maybe for the first time has started to feel the jealousy that Haewon feels.
During the 4th Anniversary Camp Live, Haewon had to endure Bae saying straight to Lily’s face that she wants to kiss her on the lips.
But it was all worth it to get the recognition Haewon had been so desperate for.
“Why do you have a photo of Bae in your phone case?”
Haewon’s heart skipped a beat. She was almost certain immediately that — despite the ridiculous voice changer that made it nearly impossible to understand what the members were saying — it was Lily whining about being left out.
Of course this was Haewon’s intention. She has a matching phone case with Lily.
And used it hold a photo of herself and the girl Lily’s been spending too much time with.
But Haewon could not have imagined such a public show of affection from Lily. At a time where she really wanted it most.
“I’m sorry Lily,” Haewon replied.
Lily played along, faking the shock of being discovered as the jealous mystery woman.
Really, who else could it possibly have been.
That touching extension of the olive branch by Lily put the ‘couple’ on great terms right in time for their trip to South America, where they would learn a lot more than Portuguese.
Another thing Lily said during the anniversary live that Haewon could not stop thinking about was about their body heat.
They’d shared on their famous “you’re a baby” live about how much fun they have as roommates, spending hours and hours talking with no shortage of topics.
Those nights were some of the best of Haewon’s life.
So just because Haewon likes to sleep with the air conditioner on cannot mean those days are over.
It’s no exaggeration to say there is nobody that makes Haewon happier than Lily, so far the South America trip she has decided to make a sacrifice.
“You control the temperature,” Haewon told Lily, understanding the crushing consequence she just imposed on herself of now having to sleep uncomfortably despite being a world famous pop star.
“Are we officially rooming together?” Lily asked with heart eyes bulging out of her head like a cartoon.
“We can if you want to,” Haewon responded in as deep of a voice as she could physically muster.
Lily, predictably, melts.
“I want to.”
Chapter 2: First day in Brazil
NMIXX has been to South America before, but this time was different.
They are VIP guests of Pabllo, who is organising this massive festival appearance for them, and is determined to give the girls a true taste of Brazil.
Pabllo’s entourage is nothing like the types of characters found in South Korean corporate music studios.
After getting in a rehearsal shortly after landing, the girls are invited to Pabllo’s personal pre-festival party.
“Should we go?” Lily asked Haewon.
“We have to go, or it would be rude,” Haewon said.
“Why, don’t you want to go?”
Lily, like the rest of the team, is absolutely dead from the 20+ hour flight.
“I need sleep, but of course I want to go,” she said.
Of course it was Kyujin who was most excited.
The youngest was determined to show off for her new Brazilian friends, and encouraged some shots to get the girls’ engines going.
Unable to resist Kyujin’s charms, her five older sisters succumbed and let the night really begin.
Despite being adults for a number of years now Haewon and Lily — who were described by Bae and Kyujin as the biggest “training nerds” they’ve ever met — are not regular drinkers.
Combined with the extreme fatigue and the humid heat of Brazil, that one shot was enough to get both Haewon and Lily just tipsy enough to decide standing up was no longer an option.
Right when they needed it, the most comfortable one-seater couch you could possibly imagine seemed to appear out of nowhere in a quiet corner of the room.
Both of their eyes lit up. Haewon quickly sat down first, leaving Lily no choice but to sit back into Haewon’s lap as they were both engulfed by the beanbag-like chair.
It had been a while since Haewon had felt Lily’s entire body weight. She liked it.
She especially liked the feeling of being crushed by Lily while seeing beautiful people flirting and kissing all around the party.
She couldn’t see Lily’s eyes, but Haewon knew Lily was seeing the same things she was.
And she was begging for it to leave an impression.
When Kyujin, Jiwoo and Bae began asking for twerking lessons from the experts in attendance, Sullyoon’s social battery had run far beyond empty.
She found her unnie line members and suggested walking back to their accomodation alongside Pabllo’s villa.
Sullyoon went straight to her room, where she would likely be fast asleep by the time Bae returned home, who was her roommate for the South American trip.
Now alone, Haewon’s and Lily’s entire bodies began to tingle.
Their love for each other in recent days had felt rekindled and burning brightly.
And they now had an incredibly rare opportunity to be alone, at night, in an exotic faraway land.
They were physically and mentally drained, as well as jet-lagged, but Haewon’s imagination was running wild.
She did not went to let this opportunity pass. Before Lily could say anything about getting ready for bed, Haewon grabbed her hand.
“Should we watch a movie?” she asked Lily.
Lily’s face lit up.
“Let’s wash our faces and I’ll grab some blankets,” Lily said.
Chapter 3: First night in Brazil
Pabllo’s guest villa had all the streaming services, but really the movie didn’t matter.
What mattered was what Haewon felt when Lily sat down next to her with the blanket from their bedroom.
This was not going to be a situation where they start on opposite ends of the couch and slowly throughout the course of the movie get closer and closer.
Lily had decided they would be starting with their legs touching. And it was a lay-down couch.
Having already decided she would blame her one shot of tequila should anything go wrong, Haewon immediately escalated by putting her arm around Lily.
Before the movie had even started Haewon had Lily in her arms.
To be clear, while they have often air-kissed and insinuated they want to, Haewon and Lily to this point have not kissed.
They were both clearly open to it for so many years, but so much time had passed, with so many missed opportunities, that they both had resigned themselves to the fact that it wouldn’t happen as they drift further from their youth.
People think of girl-kissing as harmless fun between friends, a sign of love and affection but without serious romantic intention, and something teenagers grow out of when they are adults with jobs and real lives.
But that’s very different to what a kiss between Haewon and Lily would represent.
And they both know it.
Haewon struggles to wrap her head around the level of love she feels for Lily in this moment.
If this isn’t “being in love” — then what is?
She knows Lily can feel her heart beating against her ear at crazy speed. And in her heart she knows Lily likes it.
Nothing needs to be said. They both know what is happening.
With her left arm around Lily, Haewon uses her right hand to find Netflix with the remote and put on the first thing she can find.
There is no time to waste. The maknae line could walk through that door at any second and Lily would jump out of Haewon’s arms and pretend everything is normal.
As the opening credits play on a generic Christmas romance, Haewon slides further down so instead of Lily’s head being on her chest, it is on her shoulder, where she places a gentle kiss on the top of Lily’s head.
Lily knows if she turns and makes eye contact then they will kiss.
Haewon braces, ready for crushing shame and disappointment if there is no response, or the overwhelming nerves that will hit like a tidal wave if Lily actually does turn her head.
Which she does.
Many idols joke about how they have obviously kissed and dated many people since they are famous celebrities.
That is not Haewon and Lily.
Being a professional is their entire lives, and they do not have the spare time to be sneaking around experiencing sexual awakenings.
All they have had up until now are their imaginations.
Haewon has spent many sleepless nights imagining what Lily’s lips must actually feel like.
She has thought about it so much that she’s sure she knows. She has experienced it in her mind a thousand times.
And she was right about the texture. Impossibly soft and kissable.
But what she didn’t foresee was how it made her body feel.
By turning her head, it was Lily who truly made the decision to kiss.
Haewon took the opportunity with both hands.
It was not aggressive or overly passionate. They just pressed their lips together and stayed there for what felt like forever.
One long kiss turned into many short kisses as Haewon repositioned to be laying directly side-by-side facing each other.
Laying on her left side, Haewon’s right hand began holding Lily’s hand, before grabbing around the back of her waist to pull their bodies together.
Neither of them wanted more. This was the most they had ever done, and it was better than they ever imagined.
Still, Haewon was having too much fun. With a hand full of ass Haewon went for Lily’s neck like a vampire.
Neither of them knew what they were doing, but they knew being kissed on the neck felt amazing as they took turns.
That’s when the unmistakable sound of keys rattling echoed over the sound of the movie, and Haely quickly scrambled into a respectable position.
While it signalled a screeching halt to one of the best moments of Haely’s lives, fortunately Bae and Jiwoo were preoccupied with taking care of Kyujin, who got a little carried away with the hospitality.
Kyujin was adamant she was fine, slurring her words as Jiwoo led her to the bathroom to clean up and get ready for bed, and Bae joined them, oblivious to what was going on moments before their arrival.
Quietly, Haewon and Lily tidied up each other’s hair and took their blanket back to their room, hiding any and all evidence.
With everything appearing normal, Haely went to check in with the late returners, listening to Kyujin’s exploits at the party after they had left.
With all their youngers safe and sound, Haely returned to their shared room.
Not wanting to overdo it, the couple spent the night rotating between big spoon and little spoon roles.
Despite the heat of the Brazilian night, Haewon did not even think about turning on the air conditioner.
It was uncomfortable in the most comfortable way possible. A sacrifice she was willing to make in the name of love.
They both knew their relationship had changed forever.
Over the next few days there would be online chatter about ‘divorce era’ — but it wasn’t that.
They were so married that public displays of affection felt so unnecessary and irrelevant after the intensity of what they’ve shared.
And it was only Night 1 of the South American trip.