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The morning Himemiya Anthy decided to leave the gold-plated coffin of Ohtori Academy looked no different than any other morning. The Sun still shone up high and the lessons continued like usual while, once again, the students went on with their lives in blissful ignorance of their environment.
It wasn't a special day to the world, but to Anthy it was the most important of all.
Leaving that cursed bubble world was something she should've done a long, long time before, but it was delayed by so many hours invested in gathering courage and sorting out the discordant thoughts that pierced her mind, entwining and contradicting, holding her back; those doubts were so intense that they almost emulated the way-too-familiar feeling of a million swords stabbing her.
Swords.
She never wanted to see a sword again. That much was sure.
She wanted to quit being the Rose Bride for good. Wanted to quit being a witch.
The heartless witch was able to form a will of her own: she wanted grow a heart, to let it bloom and thrive like a colorful rose. For that to happen, the only path she could take was to leave behind everything she'd known until that point, the system that forced her into being the Rose Bride in the first place.
That included leaving him behind; as scary as the unknown territory that laid beneath the action of abandoning him sounded, and as much as Anthy knew she'd be lying if she said she didn't still feel a remnant of some kind of rotten, faraway love, there was no other way to achieve real freedom. Whatever "real freedom" meant.
It was something Anthy had never truly known for as long as she could remember: even in that moment, where she was so close to finding out the meaning of such a thing, the thought of suddenly being pushed into a world where she didn't have to depend on anyone but herself felt a little uncomfortable.
"You know nothing of the outside world. It won't be any kinder than this place." Sharply remarked the accusatory part of her brain grasping at straws to contrast her decision, still not ready for change. That part spoke loudly, invadingly, and it took all her strength to push it down and avoid giving into that subconscious fear.
But she did it. She managed to shut down those misleading voices and keep to the choice she'd made.
Besides, it wasn't only a choice made exclusively out of Anthy's own willpower. There was someone, now living somewhere far away but surely living, that she had to find no matter what; the only one who had truly known the real her, seeing the broken pieces falling apart beneath a mask of calm, and still loved her deeply and most of all genuinely.
The one who first set her free from the coffin, in exchange of taking the burden of the world's hatred upon herself.
That someone gave away her entire body and soul for Anthy to be free - it would be rude to disrespect such a sacrifice, wouldn't it?
The witch wanted to grow a heart both for herself and for the girl who had helped her with such determination.
In any other occasion, the latter would've been a primary reason: pleasing others was her purpose as the Rose Bride, after all. But this one time, she thought it would be okay to let it slip from "the only reason" to "a contributing factor"; at first she worried that thinking in this way was unfairly downplaying her beloved's sacrifice, but then she realized. Her beloved wouldn't have minded as long as she knew her pain was for a reason, isn't that right? Besides, she had always encouraged her to put herself first for once.
Therefore, Anthy was going to act selfishly. She was going to do what was best for her, and only her, and she was going to be happy about it.
The school's hallways seemed to stretch on endlessly as she walked. Nothing looked out of the ordinary: the same walls, the same floors, the same everything that had accompanied her through years of captivity.
At one point she passed by a small clique of students casually talking to each other about this one mysterious person, a nonconformist "boy-girl" by the name of Tenjou Utena.
They said no one really knows what happened to her; was she hospitalized? Did she transfer schools? Was she expelled?
Oh, if only they knew.
Anthy kept walking, internally smiling to herself hearing the theories that sounded so silly from the perspective of the one who knew the full story.
In a way, Utena did get expelled. Expelled from the bindings tying her to his corrupt universe.
After going through terrible things, she had found her catharsis once and for all, despite the high cost that it entailed.
"Catharsis"...she vaguely remembered that the word came from a greek verb. She didn't remember when or how she learned that, but by digging deep enough into her memory she could trace the word back to katha...something. The meaning was along the lines of "to purify", "to cleanse".
Yes, that sounded right.
After the fateful duel, Utena had surely purified herself of all the filth that had been pushed onto her. She was alright now...she had to be.
Living peacefully, waiting for her beloved.
The only thing left for Anthy to do now was to reach her own catharsis. She didn't even know if her body had any purity left to restore in it, assuming there ever was any, but it didn't matter: one way or another, she would take back everything that was stolen from her, catch up on everything she couldn't allow herself to do and be reborn. With a new, cleaner and lighter soul ready to live as a human.
Anthy's steps sped up, easily navigating the Academy. Somewhere during her journey within the building, she saw the birdcage-shaped greenhouse from the corner of her eye. Despite that place being practically her second home, she didn't even spare a glance at it. It reminded her of all the roses that grew there and that she had meticulously taken care of just to send them to him. Those roses needed to be left behind too, for their own good.
Her fellow students didn't get a goodbye either: if they did, they'd start asking questions about why. It would waste her time and be a thorny topic in general.
The best decision was to just keep walking, detached and egoist.
Only when the destination came into view did the weight of what was about to happen really set in.
Suddenly, Anthy's heart was pounding. The inner war in her brain she thought was finally contained unleashed again, stronger than ever.
She knew she was doing the right thing.
The other option was staying in torment at the Academy forever.
There was no way she'd do that.
It's not like she wanted to turn back, but as she got into the elevator leading to that God forsaken room an overwhelming anxiety filled the air.
A distraction, she needed to find a distraction before this terrible sensation became all-consuming. Eventually, her mind shifted, focusing on rehearsing the conversation weighting down on her.
He was predictable. Surely he had already seen how insignificant Utena's disappearance seemed and was busily preparing a new cycle of duels and Rose Bride exploitation. He'd surely want to communicate the upcoming new cycle to his precious sister as soon as possible, expecting her to play the part without protest as she always did.
But in that moment, Anthy thought, when he'd inevitably ask for her compliance, her mental script anticipated a negative answer; somewhere around that point, however, that same mental script started blurring. She couldn't fully predict his reaction to such rebellion, and thinking too deeply about it frankly frightened her a little. This was not a moment where she could let him frighten her again, so she ultimately decided to put any pessimistic assumptions aside.
"Whatever he says, I can improvise a response. The important part is to get my point across." Repeating this temporarily put her at ease. "Say what you have to say, ignore anything he might say to persuade you, and never look back."
The elevator reached the chairman's residence way too early for her liking. One step at a time, Anthy walked into the impossibly large room - despite all the empty space there, it felt as suffocating as ever. Like usual, the first thing she saw was a certain planetarium projector in all its overwhelming presence and fakeness (it made her think of the stars, which she wasn't sure if she hated or loved), then the numerous windows (placed in a room so oppressive they almost looked like an illusion of freedom), the red carpet spread out on the entire floor (she avoided looking down. It reminded her of when she'd sometimes stare at it, zoning out while he ████- focus.), and lastly the one thing she was looking for.
Near the projector in the center sat a fancy-looking desk adorned with a computer, a stack of letters with the familiar rose crest, and the figure of a man working. Upon seeing Anthy, he briefly casted his gaze upwards before going back to absentmindedly typing unknown words. He started talking - something about how Tenjou Utena ended up having little no relevance and how he was already setting up a new cycle of duels - but that mass of words went through one ear and out the other. And he even had the courage to take her collaboration for granted, just like she'd imagined. She could only think: was he really that much of a fool? Thinking that Utena was just an unfortunate casualty? That the Rose Bride still existed?
Above all, how much of a fool was she for going along with his lies for all this time?
"You really don't know what happened, do you?"
Simple, sincere, straightforward. The words fled from her mouth before she had the chance to second-guess herself. While speaking, she carefully took off her glasses and laid them on the desk - a subtle gesture used to further prove her point: he had no control over how she viewed the world anymore.
"By all means, stay in this cozy coffin of yours..."
Anthy could feel his eyes looking at her intensely, possibly not managing to fathom a disagreement coming from her out of all people. She tried her best to keep her own expression neutral, but her mind was a mess of satisfaction and underlying, stubborn fear.
"...And continue to play prince."
Anthy turned around, already starting to walk away without giving him even one more second of attention.
"But I have to go now."
Some sounds of protest came from him, and they were left unanswered. She was already far from the desk; at that distance, his words didn't touch her anymore, and it felt so liberating. She wondered: could it be that she had reached her catharsis, the purification she was thinking about not too long before? Because if that was the case, she could confidently say that purity was a wonderful emotion.
"She isn't gone at all. She's merely vanished from your world."
Finally, both of them had cleansed themselves from the blood that being at Ohtori Academy made them spill.
Somewhere behind her, she could hear him standing up and calling out to her. No matter how loud some traitorous fractions of her mind spoke, persuading her to turn back, Anthy didn't listen. Her hands were trembling imperceptibly and the pace of her steps slowed down a little for half a second, but she never fully stopped, nor did she look back.
She felt so much lighter on the way back, even with the constant lingering paranoia which she did her best to ignore. Most of the work was done now, she just needed to pack her things and ultimately cross that gate.
While doing that, Anthy thought about what she would do once out into the uncharted territory of the outside world. Up to that point, she hadn't exactly taken the time to consider it, prioritizing distancing herself from him. But in this moment of quiet, she tried to organize her ideas: the only goal was to find Utena. But who knows how much time she would have to spend wandering the world for that to happen? It perplexed her Indeed.
She went through many options as she finished stuffing her suitcase with everything deemed necessary and started making her way to the academy gates; though in the end, similarly to many other cases, the simplest option turned out to be the one that sounded best.
There was no point in overthinking if and when they'd meet again. After all, fate had brought them together before, Anthy just had to trust that sooner or later it would happen again. Exactly as intended.
No matter how much time it took, she was confident that eventually they'd be reunited. And when it happened, they would finally fulfill their promise of drinking tea, laughing together and being free to love each other for the next 10, 20, 50 years to come.
It sounded heavenly.
"This time it's my turn to go."
"No matter where you are, I swear I'll find you."
"Wait for me...Utena."