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Victoria shut the door behind her with a sigh. She’d tried, but there was no way she could sleep in the same room she shared with Tom for so long. Blinking back tears, she made her way to the guest room down the hall that she’d been using ever since his death, the furthest one from theirs. She hoped time would give her some measure of peace, but Victoria still grieved and missed Tom as much as she did a month ago when she saw his lifeless body brought back after he was gunned down by henchmen from the railroad.
“Mother?”
Victoria turned at the voice to see her older son coming up the stairs. Jarrod was obviously having trouble sleeping as well if the dark circles under his eyes and his slow tread were any indication. She knew he felt guilty that he hadn’t found a legal solution to the the rail barons’ attempted land grab and he was also having to deal with the legal repercussions of his father’s death, as well as his own personal grief.
“What are you still doing up?” Jarrod walked over to her and kissed her on the cheek.
Victoria smiled slightly. “I could ask you the same question.”
Sighing, Jarrod said, “Too much to do, lovely lady. Father was a great businessman, but he was a horrible bookkeeper. Just trying to get all the documents in proper order…” He shrugged. “I fear I’ll be burning the midnight oil for a few more weeks.”
“I suppose Nick isn’t in bed, either.”
Jarrod shook his head. “He didn’t come back to the house tonight. Said he was going to be out riding night herd.”
Victoria nodded. As much as she grieved for herself, she grieved as much for her sons. The Barkley empire was immense and Jarrod and Nick had been thrust into responsibilities they weren’t quite ready for, Jarrod struggling to take over the business side on his own while Nick tried to earn the respect of men twice his age and establish himself as boss of the vast ranch. But she knew they would persevere and she knew they were capable of handling anything thrown their way, even though they should have had their father’s guiding presence for many more years.
“Just make sure you get some sleep,” she chided. “I’m going to tell Nicholas the same thing when he gets back.”
“So long as you take your own advice,” her son scolded in return.
Victoria smiled and placed her hand on his arm. They started walking down the hall and Jarrod stopped.
“Mother, isn’t your room at that end of the house?” he asked, gesturing back towards the room she and Tom had shared.
“Oh.” Victoria wasn’t sure what to say. She’d been careful not to let on she wasn’t sleeping there, not wanting to reveal the depth of her sorrow to her children, but now it was out. She knew Jarrod would let it go if she asked, but he’d been so strong for her, the rock she held onto to keep from drowning, and she couldn’t keep it from him any more. “I haven’t been able to sleep there, son,” she admitted. “I keep expecting your father to come through the door…” Victoria choked back a sob and then felt Jarrod’s strong arms wrap around her. Allowing herself the luxury of a few tears, Victoria drew strength from her child’s embrace and got herself back under control. She’d give in to weeping when she was alone.
“Well, then, let me escort you to your room, lovely lady.” They walked arm in arm down the hall and Victoria stopped at the door of the room she’d been using.
“Good night, dear,” she told her son and, giving him a goodnight kiss, went into to try for sleep.
*
She’d been putting it off for far too long, but Victoria steeled herself to do what was needed. Three months had passed and it was high time she cleared out Tom’s things. Of course there were items that had meaning, but his clothes and everyday things would be put to better use by giving them where they were most needed. Starting with the dresser, she took out shirts, pants and drawers and lay them on the bed. Cuff links, his watch and monogrammed money clip she put aside for her sons, a silk handkerchief that Audra had made him for their daughter. Victoria rubbed her thumb over the worn coin, the first money Tom had ever made and reverently set it aside as well. She’d hadn’t been able to bury him with his dress boots, a Christmas present from her, and she found she still couldn’t give them up. But most of her husband’s possessions she packed carefully in a box and was so absorbed in her task, she jumped when she heard the jingle of spurs behind her.
“Mother? What are you doing?”
Looking up, Victoria saw her tall rancher son come further into the room.
“Hello, Nick,” she greeted him and put the last shirt into the box. As she straightened up, Nick put an arm around her and kissed her forehead. “I thought it was about time for me to go through everything. I’ve already moved my belongings into the other room and it seems a waste for this room to sit empty.” Looking around, she took in the bookcases, the spacious sitting area, the desk by the window and the door that led out to the small balcony. “I was thinking of offering it to Jarrod. He is the oldest and well…” She looked over at Nick, hoping he wouldn’t be hurt by her choice.
But Nick just grinned, showing the dimples that were part of his charm, the same as they’d been part of his father’s. “That’s a great idea, Mother. Then the lawyer can get his paperwork off my desk.”
“Nicholas,” she chastised, but with a smile of her own. “I’ll ask him after dinner. And would you be a dear and take this box out for someone to take to the mission?”
Nick gave her a small bow. “Your wish is my command, duchess,” he said gallantly and picked up the box. Victoria just smiled at him again and followed her son out of the room.
*
Victoria helped Silas tidy up the dining room and kitchen after supper before searching for her sons. Young Audra was already in bed and she found Jarrod and Nick in the parlour with the cribbage board between them.
“Fifteen two, fifteen four, a pair is six and a double run is fourteen,” Nick counted aloud as he set his cards on the table. “Beat that, Pappy.” He moved his peg closer to the end of the board, sat back and crossed his arms with a wide grin.
“Eighteen,” Jarrod said simply as he put his cards down as well and picked up the other hand that sat face down. “And two in the crib.” His peg moved past Nick’s to the final hole as Nick perused his brother’s hand, making sure he wasn’t cheating. Jarrod tallied up the numbers on the paper they were using to keep score. “That means you owe me two hundred and twenty-eight thousand four hundred and five dollars, and six cents.”
Victoria had never figured out exactly how they calculated the winnings, but it was always some outrageous number that was surely a private joke. Going to the drinks table, she poured herself a small glass of sherry before joining them by the fireplace. “Jarrod,” she said as she sat beside him, “I mentioned this to Nick earlier today. I want you to take the room that used to be mine and your father’s.” Jarrod looked at her in surprise and she continued. “I’m not going to use it again. It’s yours, son, if you want it.”
Jarrod sat back. “Mother, I don’t…” He shook his head slightly. “I don’t know what to say.”
Victoria patted his knee. “You deserve a bigger space, Jarrod, with all the extra work you’ve taken on. It would give you your own place to work when you’re home.” She could tell he was thinking, but didn’t expect what he said next.
“That’s it, though, isn’t it?” It wasn’t really a question. “I’m away so much, Sacramento, San Francisco, even further for business sometimes. Nick is here almost every day, seeing to the ranch. I think that room should be his.” Jarrod looked over at his brother.
“Jarrod!” Nick protested, eyes fixed back on him.
Victoria looked from one son to the other. It was completely like both of them not to think of themselves and as they tried to stare each other down, she knew she’d just have to let them sort it out. And if neither of them took the room, well, there’d just be a much larger space for guests. “I’ll leave it up to the two of you to decide,” she told them, rising to her feet and giving each of them a kiss on the cheek. “I’m going to bed. Don’t stay up too late.”
Her sons watched as she went up the stairs.
“She does want you to have it, Jarrod,” Nick informed his big brother.
Jarrod just shook his head. “I know, Nick, but it doesn’t seem fair with you being here so much more than me.”
They sat in silent contemplation for a few minutes. Nick finally reached down, gathered up the cards and started shuffling. “How ‘bout another game? Winner gets the room.”
Jarrod chuckled as he moved the pegs back to the starting point. “Sounds good to me, brother Nick. Your deal.”