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The first time Yuu “died,” it was almost anticlimactic.
A misstep in the forest behind Night Raven College. A blot beast’s claws. Too much blood soaking into the grass.
They remembered the cold most of all.
And then—waking up in Ramshackle Dorm’s creaking bed, lungs burning as if they had just finished screaming.
After that, it kept happening.
Poisoned tea during an overblot incident. A falling chandelier in the Mirror Chamber. A misfired spell that stopped their heart mid-sentence.
Each time, Yuu would bleed, gasp, and eventually go still.
Each time, they would wake up again.
At first, they told someone.
They tried telling Grim.
“I think I died,” Yuu had said once, staring at their hands.
Grim blinked at them. “Hah?! You’re standing right here! Don’t be dramatic!”
So they stopped telling people.
After all, they always came back.
Eventually, word spread in a different way.
Yuu could take hits no one else could. They’d step between danger and their friends without hesitation. They’d collapse, sure—but they always showed up again the next day.
Whispers turned into jokes.
“Prefect’s invincible.”
“Must be some Ramshackle magic.”
“Nothing keeps them down.”
Even Ace started saying it casually.
“See? Told you they’d be fine.”
And Deuce would nod, relieved every single time.
Yuu smiled and let them believe it.
Because technically, it wasn’t a lie.
What no one noticed was how Yuu started sleeping less.
How they flinched at loud noises.
How they stared at their hands like they expected them to disappear.
Dying didn’t hurt less the tenth time. Or the twentieth.
It didn’t hurt less the fiftieth.
They remembered every second.
The suffocating pressure in their lungs. The metallic taste of blood. The strange quiet when their heart stopped. The way the world went dark.
And then the nightmares began.
Not of monsters.
Of nothing.
An endless void where they floated, aware but unable to move, waiting to be dragged back.
Waiting to wake up.
Waiting to do it again.
The poison was easy to get.
Night Raven College was practically a pharmacy of questionable substances.
It wasn’t meant to kill them. Yuu knew better than anyone that death wouldn’t stick.
It was meant to keep them asleep.
Just… sleep. No waking. No void. No restarting.
Just quiet.
They drank it alone in Ramshackle’s kitchen.
It burned going down.
Their vision blurred almost instantly. Stronger than expected.
Huh.
They made it to the couch before their legs gave out.
“Oi, Prefect! You forgot your—”
Ace pushed open the Ramshackle door without knocking.
Deuce followed behind him, mid-scold. “You shouldn’t just barge in like that!”
Ace stopped walking.
“…Prefect?”
Yuu was slumped against the couch. A glass shattered on the floor. Dark liquid staining the rug.
Their breathing was shallow. Too shallow.
Deuce’s eyes widened. “That’s— That smells like nightshade extract—”
Ace’s voice cracked. “Why aren’t they waking up?”
They shook Yuu.
No response.
Their skin was cold.
“Yuu!” Deuce’s hands were trembling now. “This isn’t funny!”
Ace grabbed their shoulders harder than he meant to. “Wake up! You always wake up!”
Always.
The words hung in the air.
Yuu’s breathing hitched once.
Then stopped.
Deuce felt for a pulse.
Nothing.
Silence swallowed the room.
Ace stared.
This wasn’t like the others.
There was no battle. No chaos. No reason.
Just Yuu.
On the couch.
Still.
They didn’t know how long they sat there.
Seconds? Minutes?
Deuce’s vision was blurring. “We need to get help—”
A sharp inhale cut him off.
Yuu’s back arched violently as air slammed into their lungs.
They coughed. Hard. Poison staining their lips.
Ace fell backward in shock.
Deuce choked out a broken laugh that sounded too close to a sob. “You— You’re—”
Yuu blinked up at the ceiling.
“…Oh. That one worked better than I thought.”
Ace went very, very still.
“…Worked?”
Yuu turned their head slowly.
And smiled.
“I’m fine.”
They were not fine.
Ace had never looked that angry before.
“Fine?!” His voice cracked halfway through the word. “You weren’t breathing!”
Deuce was pale. “Your heart stopped…”
Yuu frowned slightly, confused at their reaction.
“It’s okay. It always does that.”
Silence.
Ace’s expression changed.
“…What?”
Yuu hesitated.
They hadn’t meant to say that out loud.
Deuce’s hands were clenched into fists. “What do you mean always?”
Yuu looked between them.
At their horrified faces.
At the way they were shaking.
And suddenly… they didn’t understand.
“I die a lot,” Yuu said simply. “But I come back. So it’s not a big deal.”
The room felt smaller.
Ace let out a disbelieving laugh. “That’s not funny.”
“I’m not joking.”
“…How many?” Deuce whispered.
Yuu blinked at him.
They actually had to think about it.
“…I stopped counting after Vil-senpai’s overblot,” they admitted quietly. “It felt… rude.”
Ace stared at them like they’d started speaking another language.
“That doesn’t— You can’t just—” He ran a hand through his hair. “Overblots are near-death situations! You got hurt, yeah, but—”
“I died,” Yuu corrected gently.
Silence.
Deuce felt like the floor had dropped out from under him. “During… which ones?”
Yuu tilted their head, thinking.
“Definitely during **Riddle’s overblot. The thorns went straight through me when I tried to shield Grim.”
Ace’s breath caught.
“And when Leona buried us in sand. I didn’t have magic to protect myself. I suffocated before you all finished the fight.”
Deuce staggered back a step.
Yuu continued, almost apologetically.
“Azul’s contracts didn’t kill me, but the eels did once. By accident, I think.”
“And during Jamil’s overblot, I hit my head when the pyramid collapsed. That one was quick.”
They smiled faintly.
“Vil’s poison actually worked the first time. That was… kind of impressive.”
Ace felt sick.
All those times.
All those fights.
They remembered Yuu collapsing, sure. Bleeding, yes. But there was always chaos, blot, spells flying. They’d assumed—
They’d assumed Yuu was just knocked out.
“You’re lying,” Ace said, but there was no heat in it. “If you died, we would’ve noticed.”
“I always wake up in Ramshackle,” Yuu replied. “Usually a few hours later. Sometimes the next morning. The injuries are gone.”
Deuce’s voice trembled. “Does it hurt?”
Yuu didn’t answer right away.
“…Yes.”
The word was small.
“It always hurts.”
Time marched on around them.
Classes resumed after each overblot. NRC gossip shifted to the next scandal. Crowley remained suspiciously unhelpful. Grim kept chasing tuna.
Nothing changed.
Except Ace and Deuce couldn’t unsee it now.
When blot monsters lashed out during later incidents, Yuu still stepped forward instinctively — because that’s what they always did.
But this time, Ace grabbed their collar and yanked them back.
“Don’t,” he snapped.
Yuu blinked. “I’ll be fine.”
“That’s the problem!”
Deuce moved to stand in front of them instead. “You don’t get to decide that alone!”
Yuu frowned.
They genuinely didn’t understand.
“It’s efficient,” they explained. “I don’t have magic. If someone has to take the hit—”
“No one has to die!” Deuce’s voice broke.
Yuu flinched.
Ace’s jaw tightened. “You think just because you wake up later it doesn’t count?”
“It doesn’t,” Yuu said quietly. “I’m still here.”
Ace stepped closer.
“Do you remember it?”
“…Yes.”
“All of it?”
Yuu hesitated.
Ace’s expression hardened.
“That’s what I thought.”
The nightmares didn’t stop.
If anything, they got worse.
Because now, every time Yuu woke up gasping from the void, Ace’s words echoed in their head.
It doesn’t count.
It doesn’t.
It doesn’t.
But the feeling of their lungs collapsing felt real.
The silence after their heart stopped felt real.
The way Ace had looked at them — like they’d almost lost something irreplaceable — that felt real too.
So they’d tried to sleep through it.
Tried to drown it out.
That’s what had led to the poison.
Back in Ramshackle, Ace sat on the floor across from them, eyes red from yelling and something he’d never admit to.
“You don’t get to throw your life away just because it reloads,” he said quietly.
Deuce nodded firmly beside him. “Even if you return… we don’t know that for sure every time.”
Yuu opened their mouth to argue.
Closed it.
They’d never considered the possibility of not coming back.
It had always just… happened.
“What if one day,” Ace continued, voice unsteady, “it doesn’t?”
The thought hit differently.
Because Yuu had wondered that too.
Every single time.
They just hadn’t told anyone.
“…I don’t want to be scared of sleeping anymore,” Yuu admitted finally. “When I die, it’s quiet. Too quiet. I thought if I stayed asleep, maybe I wouldn’t have to go there.”
Deuce’s shoulders sagged.
Ace looked at them for a long moment.
Then he reached out — awkward, hesitant — and flicked Yuu’s forehead.
“Idiot.”
Yuu blinked.
“You don’t get to decide you’re disposable,” Ace muttered. “Not when we’re here.”
Deuce nodded fiercely. “We’ll figure it out together. Even if it’s… weird immortal void stuff.”
For the first time since arriving at Night Raven College, Yuu didn’t feel alone in it.
Maybe they were invincible.
Maybe they’d died more times than anyone at NRC would ever know.
But for the first time—
It didn’t feel like something they had to carry by themselves.
And somewhere deep down Yuu felt the nightmares and quiet start to ebb away.