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Sorrow.
That was the one and only word that would be able to describe the atmosphere among the group. After everyone finally found Carol alive and Beth dead, everyone’s mood just went downhill. No one talked unless it was absolutely necessary and when they did, it was just a word or two and nothing more. You wanted everything to be back the way it was.
You were very fond of Beth before her death. The two of you spent a lot of time together whether it was just talking or watching Judith. There were even some nights when the two of you would sneak away out of earshot to sing a couple duets. You loved her like a sister and you knew that she felt the exact same way about you. You only wished that you were able to say goodbye.
Beth didn’t have a funeral. Or at least you wouldn’t consider it a funeral. It was a very unceremonious moment of forgetfulness and tears from Maggie then it was forgotten. There was no speech from anyone. No one said how wonderful of a person she was. There wasn’t even a grave marked.
You wanted to change that. You wanted to make it something special for everyone who knew her. She deserved something more than what she actually got.
You were separated from the group, searching for food. While it was an unsuccessful food search, you did end up finding a nice piece of wood. You sat down on the ground, took out your knife, and began to carve Beth’s full name into the wood. It didn’t take that long for you to complete that action. You then put your knife back into your pocket and examined the name you had engraved. You ran your fingers over the wood and continued to think about your friend. There was hurt in your heart, but you had already shed your share of tears. Your tear ducts were dry.
You picked up the light piece of wood and carried it under your arm back to your group. The members were nestled by each other on the side of an empty and quiet road. Everyone jumped when they heard you rustling in the wooded area.
“It’s alright guys.” You assure them. “It’s me.”
They all seemed to visibly calm down and returned to their original spots. Rick was the first one to notice the object snuggled in your armpit.
“What is that?” He asked as you drew closer to your group.
“Oh,” You stopped and looked down at the name etched into the wood. You showed Rick the name. “I know that we haven’t talked about it since the incident….but...I really want Beth to have a proper grave.” Maggie perked up upon hearing her sister’s name and turned to look at you. “I think Maggie would want that too.”
No one spoke. They just sat there, staring, thinking. You continued to stand there, Beth’s name still being shown to the group, when Maggie stood up from the spot she was in, slowly walked over to you, and brought you into a hug. You wrapped one arm around her while the other still held the wood.
“Thank you,” She whispered softly into your ear as she pulled herself away from you.
You could only smile at her. You looked back at Rick, who was still staring at the wood you held. Your smile left your face as you, once again, held the wood with two hands. “Please?” You asked.
Rick rubbed his beard covered face with one of his large hands before nodding. “Yeah. Alright.” He replied.
You smiled and thanked him.
You placed the grave on the side of the road near the group’s resting spot. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a single flower. It was white in color. You picked it and laid it nicely in front of the grave before backing up into the other group members.
Everyone surrounded the grave. They were all silent and respectful. Maggie was next to the grave and next to Glenn, holding onto him tightly while he rubbed her back and consoled her. Everyone’s eyes were casted down and away from the grave. They let their thoughts wander.
You felt like someone should say something. Say something , you wanted to say, but it never came out. Instead, you swallowed the lump that was in your throat and took a half step forward. Again, you swallowed right before you began to sing. Your singing was low and quiet as to not stir any creature that might be around you and your group.
Of all the money that ‘er she spent
She spent it in good company.
And all the harm that ‘er she done
Alas it was to none but her
And all she’s done for want of wit
To memory now, she can’t recall
So fill to her the parting glass
“Goodnight and joy be with us all”
Of all the comrades that ‘er she had
We are sorry for her going away.
And all the sweethearts that ‘er she had
They would wish her one more day to stay
But since it falls unto our Lord
That she should rise and we shall not
She’ll gently rise and she’ll softly call
“Goodnight and joy be with us all”
“Goodnight and joy be with us all”
Tears were freely flowing down Maggie’s cheeks as she couldn’t hold back a small sob. Glenn only pulled her closer as you stepped away from the grave. Rick placed a hand on your shoulder and you looked back at him, his eyes connecting with yours. He gave you a small hug and a nod before walking further away from the grave, followed by several other members of the group.
“That was…” You heard Daryl say. You turned to look at him. “That was nice. You gotta great voice.”
You smiled warmly. “Thanks Daryl.” You replied.
He walked away and Carol walked up behind you. She placed both of her hands on your shoulders. She gave you a small hug, pressing her head against yours.
“I’m happy you did this. We need people like you in the group. People who still think of the time before. It was a wonderful thing you did for Beth.” Carol said. “I’m glad you’re with us.”
“Thanks Carol.” You said as she ended the hug.
In the end, you looked back at the grave and studied it. You smiled. Finally, in your mind, your friend, your sister, your companion was able to be at peace and so was Maggie. She would be missed, there was no doubt about that, but she would be able to rest. To finally be away from the hell that you live in. To be with the ones she lost. You were happy she didn’t have to suffer.
You and the group eventually left the gravesite, smiling for once in a dark and dreary world, her memory still in your hearts, to never truly be forgotten.