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“Here. I am here.”
“About damn time.”
Shane sounded at least mildly irritated. Not that Ilya could really blame him. He had been in labor for the better part of a day now, and was in the middle of pushing, and he had to do all of that while Ilya was several states away at a semi final. Really, Shane was relieved that Ilya had actually arrived before their baby was earthside, but he was also tired, hormonal, and in the most pain he’d ever felt in his life.
“I took a private jet. Was a miracle and a small fortune that I am here at all, Hollander.” Ilya slipped off his jacket and offered Shane his hand, which was immediately seized in a death grip.
“Are you okay?” he added, much softer, as Shane shuddered through a few breaths. “Is she okay?”
“So far,” Shane confirmed, groaning softly after. “Fuckin’ hell.”
“You need to keep pushing, Shane,” the doctor minded him from the bottom of the bed. “Through all ten seconds. You’re almost done.”
“I better be,” he replied through his teeth. “Feels like I’m being ripped in half.”
“You are not,” Ilya reassured him, then looked at the doctor. “He is not, is he?”
“No, sir, he’s just crowning,” the doctor said. “Once the head and shoulders are out, there’ll be a lot of pressure relief. Just keep breathing, Shane, push when the next contraction starts.”
“Yeah. Got it.” Shane closed his eyes and let his head fall back for a moment. Ilya’s other hand gently brushed back some hair from his sweaty head, leaning down and kissing his forehead briefly.
“You are the strongest person I know,” he soothed softly. “This is nothing - you will be done in no time and forget all about this.”
“Not sure about that part,” Shane whispered, trying to catch his breath in the brief reprieve from the intense abdominal cramping. “This is…pretty fucking memorable, Ilya.”
“You know what I mean,” Ilya hushed. “I’ve got you. Get this baby out of you now.”
“What do you think I…ah, shit…” Shane tensed and squeezed Ilya’s hand much tighter as the doctor started to count down from ten. He pushed through the entire stretch of time, whimpering and loosening his grip after. “I don’t…don’t know how much longer I can do this.”
“How many pushes does it take?” Ilya asked the doctor. “Four, five? Less than ten if you are very strong and good at pushing, yes?”
“I’ve been…pushing for the last…twenty minutes,” Shane informed him, after briefly consulting the clock on the wall, that he had grown to loathe the longer he’d been in this room.
“The movies lied to us,” Ilya said, shaking his head. “They are always in such a hurry when baby is ready to be born, and pushing is so fast.”
“I know, Ilya,” Shane breathed, exasperated. “We talked about this months ago.”
“We cannot do this right now,” Ilya insisted and gave his hand another little squeeze. “Focus on pushing and attempting to break my hand.”
“You deserve a broken hand,” Shane hissed, propping himself up a little for the next push. “I am ne…never letting you get me fucking pregnant again.”
“Too soon to say that,” Ilya replied, but he’d quiet down as Shane started to push again, gently tapping his thumb on Shane’s knuckles as the doctor counted down again. “Do you want me to count for you next time?”
“Maybe,” Shane replied, clearing his throat after. “Ilya, my water-”
“Yes, of course.” Ilya nodded and grabbed the plastic cup from the table beside the bed, guiding the straw to Shane’s mouth so he could get a few sips. “Better?”
“Much,” Shane told him with a little nod.
“Can I get a cold rag?” Ilya asked, looking at the nurses who were standing by. “For his face and his neck. Please.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Shane began, but the cloth was in Ilya’s hand already, and he was sweetly dabbing around Shane’s face and neck. “That…does feel nice.”
“You are sweating more than even usual, which is a lot,” Ilya mused. “I know these things. I know what you need, Hollander.”
“Sometimes you do,” he relented, gasping quietly after. “Shit, Ilya, start counting.”
“Okay, okay. One, two…no, ten, nine, eight-”
“No, no, now it’s gonna be too many seconds,” Shane snapped, attempting to finish the count before letting his body relax again. “Jesus, Ilya-”
“You said count, you did not say count backwards,” Ilya pointed out, and Shane lightly slapped his hand.
“He’s been going backwards the whole time, take a hint.”
“I am sorry.” Ilya rubbed his shoulder softly. “I know you are hurting a lot and this is not easy. I did not mean to make things more difficult.”
“It’s fine, it…I just want her out,” Shane said, and he sounded as exhausted as he looked. “It’s been so long…I’m so tired.”
“You are so close,” Ilya promised him, looking to the doctor for confirmation. Confirmation that better come quickly based on the serious stare he was giving him.
“You’ve almost got the head out,” the doctor said. “She has a full head of hair.”
“She does?” Shane seemed to get a bit of life back in him. “What color? Is it dark or blonde? Ilya, look for me.”
“I do not know if I should do that,” Ilya told him.
“What? Are you scared?” Shane looked at him. “It’s not going to be anything you haven’t seen before.”
“I have never seen a baby coming out of you,” Ilya said with a shake of his head. “I do not know if I want to. We have waited this long - let the hair be a surprise.”
“I’m doin’ all the hard work and you won’t even look between my legs,” Shane mumbled. “Some dads deliver their baby with the doctor.”
“She will be slippery,” Ilya insisted. “I do not want to drop her.”
“Pussy,” Shane told him, as playfully as he could manage, before gripping his hand again. “Ilya-”
“Backwards. Ten, nine, eight…”
It took six more countdowns, but the baby’s head was out, and after two more pushes, out went the shoulders. The doctor would be able to get a hold of her after that, pulling her out carefully. She was crying, loud and strong, chubby and pink and with dark hair matted to her head. She was set on Shane’s chest pretty quickly for skin to skin, a towel over her as Shane carefully put his hands in place to hold her.
“Hi, baby girl,” Shane said sweetly as she fussed, squirming a bit against him. “Shh. It’s okay now. I know, it’s kinda scary, what you just went through. You’re here with mama now, though, and papa, too. We’ve got you.”
“Is she okay?” Ilya asked, looking at the doctor. “She will stop crying soon, right? She is not hurt?”
“She’s a very healthy girl,” the doctor assured him. “Babies cry quite a bit. It’s very different outside the womb, she’s in a bit of shock. The warmth and the familiarity of the two of you will help her adjust.”
“Right. Of course.” Ilya sat down beside the head of the bed. The baby’s sweet little face was towards him, and he got a proper look at her for the first time. And just like that, his entire life changed.
She was tiny - he knew babies were small, but he had never seen one so new before, so delicate and fragile. She was…well, she was so new, it was hard to say, but Ilya swore her expression mirrored one he had seen on Shane so many times. She had settled down against him now, sleeping on his chest, one tiny fist resting by her chin. He was already memorizing every tiny detail of her, and he couldn't wait to take her into his arms and take her home and give her the entire world.
“She's beautiful, isn't she?”
Shane's voice broke Ilya's revelry just a bit. His eyes drifted to Shane's face and Shane was giving him the softest heart eyes he had ever seen, a fond smile on his face. Shane had been watching Ilya watch her, and he had never been more in love with Ilya than he was right now.
“She is more beautiful than I even know words to say, in any language.” Ilya reached over and rested his hand on Shane's that was on the baby's back. “You grew her that way. Thank you.”
“I did my damndest,” he said, looking down at her. “Wasn't easy, but…worth it.”
“She looks like you,” he added. “But she takes after me - very content to be on your soft, comfortable chest.”
“That is a spot you like, isn't it?” Shane gently brushed back a bit of her hair with one finger. “You may have been replaced as my favorite cuddler.”
“I will not go down without a fight,” Ilya decided, then addressed the sleeping infant. “He was mine first.”
“You're ridiculous,” Shane said, wincing a little after. “Ugh…here we go.”
“Here goes what?” Ilya asked, furrowing his brow. “What is happening now?”
“The afterbirth,” Shane told him, closing his eyes. “I have to deliver the placenta. It should be a lot easier than the baby, at least.”
“Placenta,” Ilya repeated, still fairly confused. “This is normal?”
“Very normal.” Shane closed his eyes, exhaling slowly and pushing through another contraction or two. It did seem much easier on him than the birth, at least. Ilya tried not to look as horrified as he was at the…thing that came out of Shane.
“Some people keep it and eat it,” Shane told him as the nurse removed it from their view.
“Some people should go to jail for cannibalism,” Ilya said quickly, looking at him. “You will not eat that. I will not eat that. No one will.”
“It's gone now,” Shane said, thoroughly amused. “It can't hurt you, Ilya.”
“Hush. You should be sleeping now. Unless you have any more organs inside of you that must come out.”
“That was the last one,” Shane promised. “Now…I will get some sleep.” He looked at their daughter, then at Ilya.
“Do you want them to bring in a cot for her?” he asked.
“She does not need a cot,” Ilya dismissed. “That is why I am here. I will caught her.”
“Yeah?” Shane looked at the sleeping baby. “You ready to say hi to papa, baby girl?”
“We do need to give her a little check up,” one of the nurses said. “It'll only take a few minutes.”
“Can he supervise?” Shane asked. “And you can show him how to put the diaper on, give her a little swaddle, too.”
“Of course.” The nurse looked at Ilya. “You can take her and follow me, it'll be in the next room.”
Ilya nodded and leaned down to give Shane a soft kiss, before taking the baby from his arms. She started to fuss a little as she was moved, and Ilya very carefully wrapped the blanket around her, cradling her against his chest.
“It is okay, malyška,” Ilya said to her, kissing her forehead. “Your papa is holding you now. You recognize my voice, yes? We have had so many story times and lullabies now. There…no more tears now.”
“You're a natural,” Shane praised softly. “She's settled right in.”
“Of course.” Ilya walked her towards the exam room, following the nurse. “Now, little one. The doctor needs to make triple sure you are a strong, healthy girl. I already know you are, but they need to do a little…poking. You will be alright, and I will be right here to make sure they are very gentle. You must be brave. You can do this for your papa. Then, all of the cuddles in the world.”
Ilya watched like a hawk while the nurse took the baby's temperature, checked her airways, listened to her heartbeat, and went down the check list for the newborn exam. She passed with flying colors, as predicted (“See, little one? You are already a winner, like mommy and daddy.”) and after that, Ilya would get to put on her first diaper, swaddle her in her first baby blanket, and carefully get a beanie on her head. He returned with her to the room after that, where Shane had just received a check up of his own.
“How did she do?” Shane asked, looking up at them.
“She is a little champion,” Ilya told him, sitting down beside the bed again. “You should be proud.”
“I am, very.” Shane smiled at the little one, who was sound asleep in Ilya's arms. “How much did she end up weighing?”
“Almost nine pounds.”
“Jesus,” Shane whispered, looking at her. “No wonder you took so many pushes, kid.”
“Yes, big and strong…for a tiny baby.” Ilya looked down at her. “In my arms, she weighs nothing.”
“She fits there perfectly,” Shane said. “Like she was always meant to be there. Like you were made to hold her.”
“Good thing I never skipped arm day, yes?” Ilya gently patted her chest when she stirred, and she'd settle again. “You must sleep now. Your body needs to rest.”
“I know. It's begging me.” Shane closed his eyes. “I just don't wanna stop looking at her, at you.”
“We will be right here when you wake up.” Ilya wasn't going to leave Shane's side either. “This little alarm clock will wake you when it is time for milk.”
“And if she doesn't, you will.” Shane hummed softly. “You should text my parents. Tell ‘em I'm okay, and that she's okay, and that you made it on time. Mom was really worried.”
“My loyalty to you and baby is number one, she should know this.” Of course Ilya would reach out to Yuna, though. He had actually spoke to her before the flight, too. “It will be done. Sleep now, Shane.”
“I'm gonna be starving when I wake up,” he added, clearly drifting off. “And you're gonna get me whatever I want.”
“Yes, but that will never happen if you never wake up, and you only wake up if you sleep. Hush.”
“Alright…g'night…love you.”
“I love you, too, Shane.”
By the time he said it, Shane was nearly asleep. Ilya sat back in his chair a bit, alternately watching Shane ans the baby sleep. Mostly the baby once he was sure Shane was really down for the count, though. She would start to whine about fifteen minutes later, but Ilya would hush softly and walk her around the room, taking her to the window, where the lights of the city could be seen below and beyond.
“You have not opened your eyes yet,” he said to her quietly. “But the entire world is waiting outside of this room, this building. It is very big - so much bigger than you. Billions of people are there. Some of them are nice, and some of them…they are not. But…do not be scared to open your eyes and see the world, malyška. There is much that is beautiful and unique, colorful and warm and kind…like your mother. Though nothing out there is as beautiful as him…or you.”
The baby made a soft cooing sound. Ilya adjusted her slightly in his arms as he continued.
“You are the best of both of us. You do not know it yet…you do not know us or you. But before you know any of that, know this. There is nothing in this whole world that will ever keep me from keeping you safe and happy and telling you that you are loved every single day. It will not be like it was for me, and it will be ever better than it was for your mother. You will never wonder if we care. You will never have to prove anything. I love you with real love, malyška, more love than I even knew I had in my heart. And I will tell you again and again and again, even when you are grumpy teenager who hates my face. I will always love you, my daughter.”
The baby stirred again. This time, her eyes blinked open, big and blue and curious. Ilya was beaming, and emotion stirred so strongly that he even felt a tear in his eye.
“That is my brave, strong malyška,” he praised her tenderly. “Papa loves you so much - forever and ever.”