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Serena still hadn't been able to get rid of the lump in her throat. The challenge had definetely messed her up real bad. It was supposed to be something fun and light, and somehow, it wasn't.
What had she almost done?
Kiss her best friend? George?
The same George who had taken care of her when she was way too drunk at a wedding they were both working at so she wouldn't make a fool of herself?
The same George that promised to always be around her corner no matter what?
She loved George. He was probably the only man in her life she actually loved. She certainly didn't love her fuck-up father and she doubted she had ever loved any of her past boyfriends. They were all means to an end, a way to distract herself. But not George. Never George.
God, she was grateful she hadn't picked him for that kiss. She would have ruined six years of friendship just because she felt a knot in her stomach when she saw him making out with Leah, and the drama it would have caused… What was she even thinking?
(She wasn't thinking, that was for sure.)
She'd tried not to notice the way George rested his palm on the bare skin of Leah's back. It was a move Serena knew all too well—he'd done it a million times with her, but never in the way he had done it with Leah. It felt infinetely more intimate with her.
Leah couldn't be more different from Serena—she had blonde, wavy hair and a surfing look Serena was envious of. She was kind and fun and welcoming, and Serena really liked her most of the time. They could be good friend, if she could only stop having these thoughts. All Serena had to offer was her curly, wild hair that never seemed to behave itself and her olive skin. She was petite, unlike Leah, and some guys had pointed out she was a bit overweight. George always said those guys were assholes because she was perfect just the way she was, and she belived him (at the moment).
He made her feel that way.
Safe.
Taken care of.
Loved.
She can feel her cheeks slowly heating up until they're on fire. How could she be having these thoughts about him? He was her best friend, and they were both on Love Island of all places—they were here to explore connections!
George had every right to do just that, especially after his life-long relationship with Anna. They were already together when they met and had been on-and-off over the years since. She had stopped asking if they were on or off at times because she honestly couldn't keep up, and George would inmediately close off everytime she tried to approach the topic. So she stopped asking. Plus, she didn't really like Anna —and the feeling was mutual.
She was determined to keep George away from her, and even though Serena could understand her concerns, she didn't want to loose her best friend. George had always tried to make her a priority, and that had cost him his relationship.
And now they were both here. In Love Island of all places.
"What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?" Oscar asks, his voice just a whisper.
It feels weird sharing a bed with a guy she barely even knows. They have kissed a few times, and she actually does like him —way more than she does any of the other islanders, if she's completely honest—, but she would never share a bed with him after three days of knowing each other on the outside.
They're going way too fast for her liking, but she doesn't know how to slow things down. This is Love Island. Things are supposed to go fast, aren't they? Because if they don't, another Bombshell could come in and turn his head the way she had done, and then she would be single and vulnerable. She didn't want to end the summer without having found her forever person. She was done with flings, situationships and toxic relationships. She had had her fair share of those and just wanted something real now. Something worthwhile.
Most of her lifetime friends were getting married or having babies by now. She still felt like a baby herself, so children were a huge no in her to-do list, but she wanted the partner part of the equation. She wanted to come home to someone that would make her laugh, and that she could cuddle up on the couch with. Someone to take care of her and make her feel loved.
It was a bit naïve, to think she would find any of that in a reality TV show, but Oscar was actually close enough. He was a born joker, always achieved to make her smile, and he was sweet and kind enough. Other than his blatant jeaulosy any time George and Serena interact, he's a perfect gentleman.
"The challenge." She admits, deciding to focus her attention on the man in front of her and not the one in her messed up head. "It's been a lot."
"Yeah, I know." Oscar says, and she can hear the smile in his voice. He has a knack for turning everything into a joke, and it would be annoying if he wasn't so awfully good at it. "I loved when you pied Giovanna and Elias off. They deserved it for stirring the pot so much."
Serena hides in her pillow, embarrassment cursing through her veins. She wasn't one to restore to violence, but Giovanna was getting on her last nerve, and Elias had the audacity to try and lie about her. They deserved that pie. Plus, she had caught Elias talking badly about her with George, of all people. Giving him shit about how Serena was only playing with his feelings.
"Hopefully they'll chill now."
"Yeah, not happening," Oscar laughs, tickling her. "But we can always dream."
Serena shifts, feeling the sheet is making her too hot. Or maybe it's the company. Would it be rude to ask him to give her some personal space? Yeah, probably. He doesn't want to hurt Oscar —he's good and kind to her, and they have a connection worth exploring. But she wished they didn't as of right now, so she could get some very much needed alone time to process her thoughts. And her unwanted feelings.
She turns her attention to George and Leah's bed. They're talking in hushed voices, and she can hear Leah's giggles. They might be hitting it off right now, while she's actively beating herself up for liking him.
"Are you okay?" Oscar asks, clearly noticing her shift in mood. She was so awful at hiding her emotions. The producers must be having the time of their lives editing her.
"Yeah, yeah. Just a bit hot. I think I'm going to the kitchen," She announces, removing the sheet from her body.
"For what?" Oscar asks.
She tries to think of an excuse fast. She can't say water, because he made sure to fill their bottles right before bed —that's just how wonderful he is. He would be better off with a sweet, attentive girl, like Candice, who fancied the pants off him. But, for some reason, Oscar's eyes were on her, and they hadn't wandered since she entered the Villa. That could all change the moment a new bombshell comes in, but for now, she has his undivided attention. It should feel good.
In the end, she decides against lying because she's already feeling guilty enough, and Oscar doesn't deserve it.
"Don't know. Just need some fresh air."
"Do you want me to go with you?" He offers, ever the gentleman, but the yawn he lets on lets her know he's way too tired to truly consider it. She's grateful for the offering, though. Speaks highly of him.
"Nah, it's good. Get some sleep, I'll be back in no time." She assures him, a soft smile tingling in her lips as she leaves their bed. Oscar gives her a slight nod before closing his eyes.
She walks past the kitchen and heads straight outside, right by the pool. The pajamas she's wearing are basically a single piece of underwear —Eve had insisted that, since it's her first night sharing a bed with Oscar, she should make sure to get his undivided attention—, so a nighttime dip doesn't sound entirely far-fetched.
She glances around, making sure she's still completely alone before jumping into the pool, feeling her muscles immediately relax in the water. It's a bit chilly for summer, but she welcomes the sensation. She hasn't had many moments to simply relax and think for herself since entering the Villa. The dramatic atmosphere doesn't exactly help her stay calm, so the distraction is welcome.
"Hey," A soft, male voice speaks as soon as she's out of the water.
No way. Her mind must be playing tricks on her. This is cruel. But her mind isn't playing —George is right next to the edge of the pool, staring at her with a soft, easy smile on his kissable lips.
Serena dives back, praying that if she stays there long enough, George will decide to come back in and leave her alone. But she knows that's not going to happen. George never leaves her side.
"Hey," She finally says, when she manages the courage to face him. "It's late. What are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same thing!" He replies, his tone a bit too cheery. He seems nervous. His cheeks are flushed and he's looking everywhere but her. "I saw you leaving and wanted to check if you are alright."
That brings a soft smile to her lips. George has always been very perceptive. He can always tell when something is off with her, and he never hesitates to ask. It's one of the reasons why she likes him so much —he just gets her. Effortlessly. Doesn't even try most of the time.
It is rare, to find someone that knows exactly what you need at all times without you voicing it out loud, and George is that person for her.
"Everything's fine," She lies. She hates lying to her best friend, but this is for a greater good. "Just needed a minute for myself."
His smile turns tentative. "Can I join?"
Serena raises an eyebrow. She wants him to join, but the functioning part of her brain is screaming at her to not let it happen, because she's confused and emotional, a dangerous mix.
"You're wearing pijamas."
"So?" His smile is wide and open as he raises an eyebrow at her.
"Wow. Vacation George really has no fear," She jokes, but the sound is quickly lost when he gets his pants down and all that he has left are his boxers.
Dear God.
This is not the first time he's been in nothing but his underwear around her. Objectively, she knows there must be at least a dozen more times over the years in which they have been exactly like this. But… something's different now.
She stares. His abs glisten under the moonlight, and he's ripped. Anyone would think George is more of a nerd —and they would be right, he reads more books than anyone she knows—, but he takes working out just as seriously as he does everything else in his life. His muscles are perfectly defined in a way that makes her mouth water, and she feels heat rise in her lower belly.
"My eyes are up here," He teases.
"You wish," She manages to say, cheeks flushing as she fakes a laugh.
He mumbles something under his breath before diving headfirst into the pool. The jump makes the water splash in all directions, reaching her hair, and Serena lets out a shout of "George!" while laughing.
"Wow, the water is cold. You must be freezing," The concern in his tone is within earshot, and she smiles.
"You can always warm me up," She winks an eye at him, and George rolls his eyes before diving again into the water.
She loves him. Like, truly actually loves him. Her heart does backflips in her chest just at the sight of him. If that isn't love, she doesn't know what it is. Should she tell him? That would only complicate matters more. They're both getting to know other people. Why now? They've been friends for so long. Ruining the friendship over unresolved feelings would be madness. She could loose him, and that would break her heart more than anything else in the world.
"So, what's bothering you?" He finally asks, not playing around. His gaze is serious as he analyzes every last inch of her face.
"I already told you. I just needed some alone time, which you managed to ruin," She tries joking, but his unwavering gaze lets her know he's not having it. "It's just been a crazy day. I needed a debrief."
There's a beat of silence as George nods, taking her words in.
"Why didn't you come to me?"
Because you were who I was thinking about.
"You were busy," She says instead. Thinks for a moment about whether she wants to actually say it, but her mouth betrays her mind by speaking, "with Leah."
George's face twists in confusion. "I'm never busy for you. You know that."
"You were really busy. With her."
Another beat of silence. George's brow is furrowed in that endearingly cute way he always does when he is concentrated or trying to figure something out. Or someone.
"Are you jealous?" His tone is almost hopeful, like he almost wishes she would admit to it.
Which she won't.
"You wish!" She defends herself, resisting the urge to pout. "I just don't want to get in the way of you finding a connection. Everyone here already thinks we fucked or something."
His cheeks turn crimson, probably mimicking her own.
"Serena!" He screams, splashing her.
"What? It's true. Giovanna was riling me up about you and Leah during the challenge."
"Does it bother you?" He wonders. "The fact that everyone assumes I like you?"
She blinks rapidly. "Does it bother you?"
"I asked first," He complains.
"And I'm throwing your question right back at you,"
"That's not fair,"
"Well, life's not fair. Does it bother you?"
"Is it bad if I say it doesn't?" He shrughs, his cheeks turning a deeper shade of pink. "We have been friends a really long time. I feel good that people see we have such a good connection."
She nods slowly, assuming his words. Friends. She's beginning to hate that word. It feels like he's stabbing her all over again and when he says it.
Friends.
Really fucking good friends.
But friends don't want to do the things she wants to do to him. Friends don't fantasize and think about what it could be like, to kiss.
"Well, it doesn't bother me either," She admits. "I like having you as a friend."
"You do?"
"Yup. You're my best friend."
"That I am."
Sometimes I wish we were more.
He's so close to her in the pool she can feel the warmth of his body tingling her skin. She wants him impossibly closer, but doesn't know how to ask. She approaches slowly and embraces him, letting the soft scent of his cologne envelop her. His hands rest gently on the small of her back, respectful and kind.
"I'm really glad you're here," She whispers in his ear, and he shivers at the words.
"I am really glad you're here too," He replies right back, making her heart gallop into the sunset.
She wants to kiss him. She's so close she could make it happen if she just braced herself for it. Would he want it? Would he return the kiss?
She looks into his eyes —the deep, brown shade she knows and loves— and bites her lip. She wants him. Probably more than she has ever wanted someone before.
"What are you thinking right now?" His voice is nothing but a soft murmur. Low, sexy and manly. The knot in her belly tightens as her legs tremble.
I am thinking I really want to kiss you.
Like, really, really badly.
"I—" She stumbles with her own tongue, causing him to let out a soft, melodious laugh. "Do not laugh at me!"
"You're acting so weird tonight," He says. "It's kind of endearing."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. You should leave now."
"I'm not leaving without you."
"And what if I stay here all night?"
"Then I'll keep you company." He assures her, a charming smile, like it's the obvious answer. Like he would rather be nowhere else.
And that's what makes her do it. The small distance between their lips is shortened and she feels his thin lips on hers. It's as quick as a single breath, because she separates just as soon as she initiates it, feeling all the color drain from her face.
Oh God.
She did it. She just kissed her best friend.
"What was—?" George's voice is barely an audible whisper.
"Forgive me. Please, forget I ever did that." She cuts him off.
Oh no. She's ruined it. The whole of it. Six years of friendship ruined because she couldn't just not kiss him.
She can't even look at him. If he looks disraught or disgusted or just angry she will start crying. Rejection is fine. She can handle that. But she can't handle heartbreak, and her poor heart is already cracking.
"Just, please, forget it," She pleads. "It was a mistake, and I'm really—"
This time, she's the one who's interrupted.
By his lips. On hers.
He's kissing her!
And not in the tentative, insecure way she had done a second before. No, he was fully making out with her. Tongues and lips and touch and everything in between. His fingers dig into the flesh of her waist, and she wants him impossibly closer.
More, more, more.
Please.
She eagerly returns his kiss. She can't believe he's kissing her. It's happening! She's over the moon and, at the same time, so afraid it will all be just a dream. She will wake up in the morning next to Oscar, George will be right next to Leah, and she will have to swallow her guilt and her want.
"Do you want this?" He asks, his mouth still on hers in a way that with every soft spoken word, she feels it on her own lips. He tastes like sugar. "Do you want me?"
Why does he sound so surprised? Isn't it obvious? She kissed him first!
"Please, just kiss me," She begs, voice small and fragile. "I've been wanting to kiss you all day."
He tries to kiss him away, but he pulls away. "What did you just say?"
She kisses him before he tries to get the answer out of her, and the longing and desire take over. She puts both legs around his waist, pressing him against her, feeling the small bulge of him press against her stomach.
He wants her.
"Fuck," He mutters, kissing her cheek in a completely endearing gesture that makes her let out a soft moan. "You taste so good. What are we doing?"
What we should have been doing this entire time.
She gazes into his eyes, the warmth spreading all over her.
"I want you." She says, loud enough for him to hear. He's pleased, she can feel it in her stomach and the way his fingers dig deeper into his flesh. "You want me too?"
"I have always wanted you," He admits. "Every moment of every day since we met at that wedding six years ago, I think."
She blinks, confused. "That long?"
"I knew I was attracted to you," He admits, blushing. "But it was three years ago I figured out I actually did like you. I was just…" He gulps down. "I was afraid of ruining our friendship. You matter a lot to me, and I didn't want to ruin it."
"But Anna—"
"Anna knew." He cuts her off. "She caught on the fact that I couldn't stop talking about you, or with you. Even my family started teasing me over it, saying we were better suited for each other. Anna said it was okay for me to have a crush as long as I didn't act on it."
"You had a crush? On me?"
He nods. Her heart starts beating so fast she's afraid she will have a heart attack and die. But she would die happily with his lips on hers and the certainty that all her unrequited feelings are actually not unrequited. George likes her. The same way she likes him.
"I've wanted you to kiss me for years," She confesses, brushing her nose with his. "But Anna was always around, and you didn't seem to like me like that—"
"Oh, believe me, I liked you."
"This is going to be so messy." Serena laments, not finding it in herself to put some much needed distance between their bodies. "You're with Leah now, and I'm with Oscar—"
"Do you want to be with me?" His question takes her off guard.
"Hum, uh, yeah? I think so?" She replies. "Don't you want to?"
He kisses her again, and that might be answer enough.
For now.
