Chapter Text
“Dad!”
I burst into his office, completely out of breath. Yotsuha and Grandma are there too, and they both turn around in surprise.
“Mitsuha!”
It feels good to see them and hear their voices. They look so alive when they stand up from their seats and stare at me with their stunned expressions. And my little sister still has her whole life ahead of her. She just can't die. Grandma and Dad and I can't die either. And Saya and Teshi, my two lovebirds who are too shy to admit how they feel. I almost have to chuckle at the thought. Dammit, they haven’t even told each other yet. And all the others, too. None of us can die today. And we won’t. Not if I can stop it.
“Don't tell me you’re back.”
My father’s strict voice fills the room and pulls me back to the present—back to what has to be done. He’s standing behind his desk, looking straight into my eyes. That’s how he always looks at me when I’m not behaving properly. Normally, I always look away from that intense gaze. But today isn’t normal. Today is as far from normal as it can ever get. So I force myself to return his look and walk toward him with all my determination. It works. He’s surprised. No—it’s more than that. He looks completely shaken, and I hear him whisper quietly but clearly:
“Futaba…?”
I remind him of Mom. A short, sharp pain runs through my body. She was always the only person he listened to. The only one who could sometimes stand up to him. This is my chance. This is the last chance for all of us.
“Dad, you will evacuate the village. Now. Everyone has to go to the high school. The comet will hit the shrine in less than an hour. No more discussion. Here.”
I've stopped in front of his desk, grabbed the phone receiver, and hold it out to him. And I keep looking directly into his eyes. I haven’t seen such a soft expression on his face in a long time.
He takes the receiver without protest and dials. Slowly he pulls himself together again, looks slightly away from me, and murmurs, “I hope you know what you’re doing.” Then his voice changes back to its usual firm, unmistakable tone as he starts giving orders into the receiver and setting everything in motion.
The high school is jam-packed. Everyone's rushing around and talking over each other. A lot of them are angry that the mayor decided to hold a test alarm on the very night of the autumn festival—especially when the comet's glowing brightly in the sky. Still, no one dared to disobey Dad’s orders. Everyone knows he wouldn't tolerate that. Good. It seems like everything's working. I nervously check the time. Fifteen minutes left until impact. Not everyone is safe yet. The evacuation should’ve started way earlier. Together with Teshi and Saya, I try to hurry the last few villagers who are strolling to the school way too slowly. But when Dad notices how desperately we’re yelling at everyone, he steps in to urge them to move faster, and then it finally works. Five minutes before impact, everyone seems to be out of the danger zone. And then comes the moment I'll never forget in my life. First the comet suddenly gets bigger and bigger, brighter and brighter, and then it sounds like the entire universe is exploding.
“Suki da?! B-but who wrote that?”
“That’s exactly the thing! I don’t remember his name!”
Teshi, Saya, and I are sitting on a rock near the high school, looking down at the chaos the comet left behind in our village. None of us have really processed that our home is destroyed. Most of the others are still inside the school, but we slipped out about half an hour after the impact. I really have the two best friends anyone could ask for. They were the only ones who believed me and helped me save the village. Not everyone made it to the school in time, and some people got hurt, but no one's life is in danger. And now we snuck out because Teshi and Saya noticed how upset I was—and how I kept staring at my hand. And now the three of us are all looking at these three characters in a boy's handwriting on my palm.
“You don’t remember who he is?”
“Not really. I feel he's... dear to me. Special. But it's like I’m forgetting everything so fast! I feel like I just saw him—but I don't know when or where. And now he’s just gone, and I don’t even know where to look for him!”
“You just saw him?” Saya says. “But that's not possible!”
“Wait—maybe it is!” Teshi jumps in. “Mitsuha, you took my bike this afternoon, didn't you, and disappeared for like an hour. You must’ve met him then!”
That’s weird. I don’t remember snatching Teshi’s bike at all. Didn’t I suddenly wake up in the cave where we kept the sake? But that can’t be right. I must be mixing things up. I must have just woken up in my bed this morning. I think. But actually—I’m not even totally sure about that. When I really think about it, I can barely remember the first half of today at all. That’s so strange. But it’s probably just all the stress.
“Mitsuha?!”
Saya’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts, and I just tell them everything that’s going through my head. I’m terribly scared, because if I keep forgetting everything this fast, then tomorrow I might not remember him at all. They listen carefully, and when I’ve finished, they look at me with so much sympathy. They really are the best. And suddenly something annoys me. I don’t even know what it is at first, but then I realize.
“Hey, you two… how much longer are you still going to wait?”
They stare at me, mouths open.
“Wait?”
“For what?!”
“For holding hands, of course! And for kissing! And for all the other things you do as a couple!”
They keep gazing at me, speechless, while both their faces are turning bright red.
“Come on, you’ve been into each other for years! But neither of you wants to make the first move! It’s so annoying! Fine, then I’ll do it for you now! Just hug each other already!”
“Mitsuha—” Teshi starts, but Saya nudges him, and he turns toward her. They look at each other for a long moment, and then they slowly wrap their arms around each other.
There you go, that wasn’t so hard after all, I think.
Satisfied with my matchmaking skills, I watch them for a while. Now that the beginning is done, they can’t seem to get enough of each other. But then a thought slips into my mind. At first it’s barely noticeable, but then it gets clearer and more and more tangible.
'You never know how much time you have together.'
I suddenly feel cold and stand up. Saya and Teshi notice right away. They pull apart and look at me with concern.
“Mitsuha—”
“It’s getting cold out here. I’m going back inside.”
“Wait, we’ll come with you!”
I kind of don’t want them to. I want to curl up somewhere in a corner and cry quietly for myself. Suddenly the two of them feel like aliens from some faraway galaxy. A galaxy where you can live and love freely. Where you can just be happy together.
I try to hold back my tears, but they’re already rolling down my cheeks. Ah, whatever. I just start sobbing uncontrollably and bury my face in my hands. Saya is there immediately and gently wraps her arms around my body. A moment later, I feel Teshi’s hand on my shoulder too. None of us say anything for a while, because we don’t need to. They know what’s going on inside me, and they can’t do anything about it. So they just stay here with me and try to console me as best as they can. I wouldn’t trade them for any other best friends in the world.
The next few days aren’t easy for any of us. Slowly, we start to understand what the comet's impact really means. We don’t have a home anymore, and we don't know where to go.
Dad promised me not to tell anyone that I was the one who pushed for the evacuation. He understands that I want to avoid the spotlight and media hype. The official version is now that the mayor just happened to hold a test alarm exactly on the same night when the comet fell.
It seems that the whole world is talking about us now. About the incredible luck the people of the small village of Itomori had. Because of all the attention, we’re getting a lot of help offers, and temporary housing has been arranged for us. Rescue helicopters flew the injured to nearby hospitals the morning after the impact. No one is in critical condition. Food is taken care of, too.
However, it's clear that nothing will ever be the same as before. The villagers won’t stay together. People who've seen each other every day for decades will soon live in different cities and start new lives.
While I’m thinking about all that, I’m sitting alone on my bed in my temporary housing, staring at my hand for the hundredth time. 'Who are you?', I'm thinking in despair.
And suddenly my hand feels warm.
I scream in shock—but when I hear a faint voice in my head, I know immediately it’s him. I freeze, close my eyes tightly and focus as hard as I can. 'Hello?', I think. 'Hello? Please say something!' At first, there's silence. But then a quiet voice in my head answers.
'Hello? Who are you? Did you try to write something on my hand?'
Suddenly a memory flashes in my mind. A hand. A boy’s warm, soft hand writes something on mine. Then he gently puts his pen into my hand. “Your turn,” he says in a soft, pleasant voice. I nod determinedly, I start writing on his hand, and then—it disappears.
'Hello?' comes his voice in my head again, more urgent and desperate than before. 'Please say something! Please!'
I focus with all my strength. I remember what I wanted to write. And he needs to know it, too. I have to tell him!
'Hello!', I think intensely. Although I don’t get an answer, I can feel his desperation shift into tense anticipation. It works! 'I wanted to write the same thing on your hand that you wrote on mine.'
After a short silence, he replies. 'The same as me? What did I— no!' We both realize at the same moment that the connection is getting weaker. We don’t have much time left. Again.
'Suki da!', I think as hard as I can, and suddenly I realize I didn’t just think it, but also whispered it. I feel his reaction. His whole body is shaking. I feel it, even though I can’t see him. When the connection fades more and more and tears start to fill my eyes, I say it again, loudly this time.
'Suki da!'
And then he’s gone.
So here I am, sitting alone on my bed, with tears in my eyes, already feeling the memory of what just happened slipping away again. But my heart promises it won’t forget. And in that moment, a decision forms in my head, like it’s been there all along, just waiting for the right moment to come out.
No matter what happens now, no matter where in Nihon—or elsewhere in the world—I'm gonna end up, I will never date a boy until I find him.
That place in my heart is taken.
'I’ll wait for you. No matter how long it takes. And if I never meet you again…', I'm thinking almost stubbornly, but it's definite and crystal clear, '…then I’ll just stay alone.'
And that's what happens.
I’m lucky. My family and I move to Tokyo—just like I always wanted. Some things about the city feel strangely familiar, like I’ve been there several times before. But that’s impossible, of course—surely this is just because I've seen and admired Tokyo so often on TV.
Work goes well, too. After graduating and studying, I get a job at a big company. I earn good money, and it's fun, too. And still…
Ever since the comet fell, I’ve felt like I left something behind in Itomori. Something valuable. Something that should actually be a big part of my life. My family and friends say I just miss my hometown. But that’s not all.
It feels like I left someone behind. Like I lost someone who meant the world to me.
Only Saya and Teshi understand me a little. They remember me crying on their shoulders after the comet fell. They remember that there was something written on my hand. Something important. But what exactly it was? What I told them? They don’t remember.
And neither do I.
That’s so weird. Normally we remember tiny details about things we experienced together for years!
And then there’s the whole love thing. But actually, it's the no-love thing. Lots of boys—and later men—have asked me out, first in high school, later at university and work. But I've always made excuses why I couldn't date them right now. The truth is, I just didn’t want to. I've never been interested in all these boys and men. It's not that they weren't nice or attractive. But my heart always said instantly no. Just no. So to this day, I’ve never had a real relationship. “No wonder something's missing in your life!” most of my friends say and try to get me to go on a date. But I just can’t. And I don’t want it, either. Instead, I often wake up in the mornings and realize I’m crying without knowing why.
Like today.
Even while I’m making breakfast, that feeling is still there. That I’ve lost something important. I’ve gotten used to it—but it still feels fresh every time. I get ready, leave the house, and get on the train to work.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see a young man on another train who looks strangely familiar.
Curious, I turn my head to look at him properly.
And from one moment to the next, my whole body feels electrified, my eyes and my mouth fall wide open, and for the first time ever, my heart says not only yes, but That’s him! Run to him! And then stay there forever!