Work Text:
To Regulus, James was like the sun.
When it’s there, shining down on you with such intense heat and light, it burns. It hurts. And all you can wish is for it to go away. But as soon as it disappears, you miss it and can’t wait for it to come back.
No matter how much he tries to hate the burning light which is James Potter, he can’t help but hate his absence even more. But he can’t admit that to himself.
How could he, the cold, calm, heartless, Regulus Black, feel anything for the arrogant, confident, chaotic, warm, pure, loving… beautiful boy?
But no matter how hard Regulus tries, he can’t get James out of his head. All he can think about is his perfect olive skin, his dark mess of soft hair that frames his face so beautifully, his dimples that appear when he smiles or laughs, and oh god his smile makes Regulus’ knees go weak, and all he wants to do is be the one to make James smile or laugh and kiss him until the feeling of James’ lovely, wonderful smile against his lips is embedded in his mind forever, and oh his eyes, his perfect warm brown eyes that twinkle so kindly from behind his round glasses that perch so precariously on the end of his nose that Regulus has to resist the urge every single time he sees him to gently adjust them with delicate touches, just to be close to him and, and god when he takes off his shirt down by the lake in summer Regulus can’t focus on anything except stopping himself from collapsing right then and there because James is undoubtedly the most beautiful person he has ever laid eyes on.
And god, Regulus hated himself for it.
Because Regulus Black had never learned how to love. His whole life he’d been taught nothing but hate, and anger, and bitterness, by everyone except his brother. Sirius was the only person Regulus had ever trusted, the only person he’d ever let down his walls for. Regulus had loved him, and Sirius left.
Regulus believed that maybe, if he loved him hard enough, his brother would come back.
But he failed.
Regulus lost the only person he’d ever managed to love, and he didn’t know what he’d done wrong.
So not only did Regulus never learn how to love, he was afraid to try. And the complex, burning tangle of feelings he felt for James scared him, because the only thing he knew about love was that it hurt.
To Regulus, James was like the sun. When it’s there, shining down on you with such intense heat and light, it burns. It hurts.
And Regulus Black was too afraid to be burnt by the scorching love of James Potter.