Work Text:
On the dining table, in Fatui's residence…
“Mrs Tsaritsa, I don’t need to go to college! I’m already a prodigy!” said a young-looking blonde girl who looks like she hasn’t combed her hair for weeks. She’s wearing a grey sweater that looks too big for her petite body. She has these large eye specs, and she carefully examines her food before she eats it. “Butter, Sodium and Sesame oil…This contains a lot of calories, Mrs Tsaritsa,” she commented as she looked at the mashed potatoes on her spoon.
“You’ll go to school to make you even smarter…And just shut up and eat what’s on the table, smarty pants.” Said her mother as she passed a pitcher to an old man, who was her father, Capitano.
“Thanks.” The man said
“But people in school are senseless!” the girl continued to argue
“And so are you!” uttered by the girl’s brother, who was sitting beside her. Her younger brother was laughing way too much for the girl’s liking.
“Hush, human, you’re breathing too much oxygen more than what you are entitled to through this space,” the girl with the specs commented.
“You’re really weird!” her little brother spat back.
“I’m not weird, it’s just some people around me do not have enough understanding in their brains. And an exhibit is you.”
“What did you say?”
“I was just making a supporting statement regarding your written legal document called a transcript.”
“My grades are okay!”
“Yeah, like a doctor said that an ICU patient is.”
“I’m so gonna kill you!”
“CHILDE AND SANDRONE!” their father yelled, and it stopped all the commotion in the dining room.
“You miss smarty pants… You’re going to college, and that’s final.” The man said to the girl with the specs called Sandrone. “And you little brat… You’re not going to your friend’s party.” He said to the younger boy named Childe.
“BUT FATHER!” they both said in sync
“ENOUGH!
The siblings were left speechless in their seats.
‘Got to follow the Captain's orders after all.’
===
During their sleeping time, Sandrone and her brother Childe were bickering quietly in their shared room. They were afraid that their parents might hear them.
“This is all your fault! What will my friends say to me? They might think I’m a killjoy!” Childe whined.
“You try to fit yourself in a crowded box, you ought to get out of there and see what you’re missing outside.”
“Uhm, a party isn’t a box?” Childe innocently stated.
“Seriously, I’ll pretend you didn’t say that.” Sandrone showed her disappointed face and shook her head.
“Terrible, horrible, ugh! And oh… My nerdy sister will study at the same university as I! Good luck and great life!”
“Hush, human, I didn’t want to be in the same university as you and your low-IQ friends. I’m already a genius.” Sandrone replied.
“My friends are smart!”
“Like who?”
“Zhongli.”
“He’s a grandfather. Sugar daddies don't count.”
“I repeat, my friends are smart!”
“And is there anyone smarter than me?” she asked innocently.
“I-I…”
“Then none of them are smart.”
“Well, my friends are cooler than you, you weirdo!”
“They’re not cool, they’re bimbos.”
“THAT’S IT!”
And the two were engaged in a chaotic fight until someone busted their door open, which resulted in the two to freeze on their close standing position. Sandrone is pulling Childe’s hair, and Childe is pinching Sandrone’s ear.
“What is happening here? It’s so noisy downstairs!” their mother said
“We’re killing each other…” Sandrone was speaking until her little brother put his hands on his blabbering older sister’s mouth and said, “We’re hugging each other out of love, mother…” Childe said as he gave a very tight bone-crushing hug to Sandrone.
“I’m glad the two of you sorted things out… Sandrone, please look at your brother in school. You know how troublesome he could get.” Their mother said
“Mrs Tsaritsa, I happen to dislike all children intensely. But I can assure you that I can readily attend to their necessary though unpleasant wants. “
“I’m not a child!” Childe said.
“Sandrone!” her mother said sternly
“We’re okay, Mrs Tsaritsa. Don’t worry.”
“Very well then, sleep now, my children.” Their mother closed the lights as the two went to their respective beds, glaring at each other.
“I can’t believe Mrs Tsaritsa buys that lame excuse of yours.”
“You’re gonna get us both killed! And why do you call mother Mrs Tsaritsa? You’re really weird.”
“That’s not weird, it’s called politeness and formality, and you’re a very bad liar. A psychologist said that people who lie tend to face their left, and you did it obviously.”
“Whatever, just remember, I don’t know you tomorrow at school.”
“Fine with me.”
===
Sandrone took an entrance exam at her brother’s university, and she passed the entrance exams with flying colours because she is a self-taught genius.
“Wow, 100/100! Are you kidding me?!” the professor who gave the exam incredulously told the prodigy.
“Mr Zandik, your exam is so easy. Even 4th grader kids can pass that.” Sandrone said plainly as she sat on the chair in front of Mr Zandik’s desk.
“Why you! Only 30% of the examiners pass out of 100% annually!”
“It’s because only those 30% got brains.”
“You talk like you’re smarter than me!”
“I am really smarter than you.”
“Tell me, Miss Sandrone, what were your achievements when you were in high school?”
“Best Math department president, secretary of the dean, best in thesis writing, best in essay, best in science laboratory experiment, Straight A’s on grade cards, rank 1 on the university’s top students… Those are only a few; others are in my CV. Do you want me to send it to you?”
“What? Do you already have a CV? You’re only a freshman in college!”
“Well, NASA offered me to work for them, but I turned it down. I figured out that the universe is too small to be my workplace.”
“Miss Sandrone, is there anything you haven't been?”
“Yes, Mr Zandik, I’ve never been an idler or a parasite.”
“But why does it say here in your paper that you were almost kicked out in your senior year?” Mr Zandik tried to test her again
“Oh, it’s because I made a mini nuclear weapon in the science laboratory. You should’ve seen the looks on my classmates' and professors' faces! They’re terrified!” she chuckled as she clapped her hand excitedly.
“I’ll keep my eye on you, Miss Sandrone.” Mr Zandik said as he glared at Sandrone
“You should be, you’ll be touring me around. It’s your job.”
===
Sandrone is assigned to share a dorm room every weekday with sophomore Jean and bossy junior Ningguang. She stood in front of the room assigned to her and rechecked the number. She knocked on the door three times.
“Greetings! My name is Sandrone, a freshman. I will be your new roommate. May I come in?” she asked formally
A tall girl looked at her from head to toe and shook her head
“Actually, no.”
Then the girl closed the door right in front of Sandrone’s face. After a few seconds, the door swung open. The tall girl looked surprised, along with another girl who was currently busy watching basketball on TV while munching on pizza.
“How did you open it?” the tall girl asked.
“I got a key…This is also my room for this year, whether you like it or not.” Sandrone swung her chain of keys in front of the girl
“Wow, this girl is feisty!” the other girl commented.
“So, newbie… Listen up. I am Ningguang, a junior, and this is my pal Jean, a sophomore. We actually take turns cleaning every week, but since you’re a newbie here and our turns have already ended, you will clean for a month.” Ningguang said as she tapped her foot on the ground lazily and winked at Jean as if conveying a hidden message that Jean easily picked up.
“I wasn’t informed of that rule before coming here… I’ll ask the landlady, Professor Zandik, tomorrow morning about that,” Sandrone said innocently.
“No! I-I mean, you do not have to ask Mr Zandik about this. I mean, he told us to tell you this before you came.” Jean said nervously as if she was scared.
“Okay,” Sandrone said
After a few minutes, the two were looking at the girl with a confused gaze.
“What are you doing?” Ningguang asked.
“Based on my calculations, I am entitled to 35 per cent space in this room. The left side is your side, I assume, and the middle will be Miss Jean’s, and the right will be mine.”
“What are the red tapes for?”
“You see, everyone is entitled to their own space, privacy and territory. Once you enter these red lines, that means you are in my jurisdiction, and any violation made within my jurisdiction will be used against you.” Sandrone explained.
“Oh.” The two said in sync, “Uhm, give us a sec, will you?” Jean said.
“Okay, the time is all yours,” Sandrone said as she fixed her things, and the two just looked at her as they exchanged whispers with each other.
“This one is crazy!” Jean complained.
“Yeah, she’s just nuts!”
“What are we gonna do now?”
“Beats me.”
“She’s a creeper.”
“Don’t worry too much. At least we do not have to clean for a month.” Ningguang smirked, and Jean gave a nervous chuckle.
“Oh, come on, Jean, don't you like it? More time to look at your crush instead of cleaning.” Ningguang said, and Jean was convinced.
“That’s more I like it!”
===
The first day of classes for Sandrone couldn’t get any worse. She got late for her class due to Jean and Ningguang taking so long to use the bathroom. She was running in the school corridor to catch up for her class, until she bumped into somebody.
“Hey, watch it, you little one!” The girl’s book was scattered on the floor as a result
“I would like to apologize but I am already running late! So…bye!” Sandrone looked back as she continued to run towards her classroom, and she saw a girl yelling.
“You’re gonna regret this day, buddy!” the girl yelled in frustration
Sandrone stood in front of her classroom and saw the professor already giving a lecture
“Oh, look at this, this is going to be awful.”
She entered the room, and all eyes were on her.
“Sorry, I’m late…” she said
“Introduce yourself, please.”
“I’ve been introducing myself since kindergarten.” Sandrone frowned
“Introduce yourself, or I’ll mark you absent.” The professor threatened
“I’m introducing myself… I didn’t run all the way from here to be unnoticed.” She cleared her throat and said, “My name is Sandrone. I love Shakespeare, Plato, Machiavelli, Einstein, Thomas Edison, Wilber and his brother…”
“Okay, that’s enough.”
“But I’m not yet done.”
“Nobody cares who you love, kid. Sit your ass down on a chair and listen to my lecture.”
And the class roared into laughter.
‘She wanted to know about me and yet she never really listened when I told her about myself…I do not understand this kind of person.’- She thought to herself as she looked for a place to sit.
Sandrone found a chair to sit on, but somebody put their leg on it.
“Ooops! Taken now.” A girl said
“I don’t see any person sitting on it.”
“Oh yeah? I need two chairs, so it’s taken.”
“Why two chairs?”
“I’ll be sleeping for long hours here.” The girl said as she yawned and stretched her arms
“Oh.”
Then Sandrone looked for another vacant chair and saw one, but was prevented by somebody from doing so.
“Don’t sit there.” A girl with glasses said
“Why not?”
“Someone is already in there…” the girl mysteriously said
“I don’t see anyone in there,” Sandrone said
“Because she’s a ghost.”The girl said with no emotion at all, and it’s enough to scare Sandrone away
“O-Oh… I-I’ll just find another seat then.” Sandrone said nervously and bowed
Sandrone saw a vacant seat and asked the isolated person beside her.
“Hi, can I sit here?”
“Booze…” the girl said as she smiled, and her eyes formed into tiny crescents
“Yeah, looks like you had one,” Sandrone commented as she sat beside the girl
“Oh, the nerd… Hi nerd, I’m knurd.” She said as she offered her hand to Sandrone
“Knurd?”
“Just drunk backwards.”
“Oh…”
Sandrone just wondered, what more can she see in this university, and what more unfortunate events will come. She just sighed and listened to the professor, and she sighed again when her professor made a mistake. She raised her hand and spoke.
“Oh, you want to say something, Miss Sandrone?”
“I beg your pardon, it isn’t Plato who quoted that, it's Aristotle,” she said as politely as possible, but her classmates roared into a series of laughter that embarrassed the professor big time.
“Get out! Detention now!”
===
And there, Sandrone was put on detention for correcting her professor’s mistake.
“I didn’t know being right is offensive.” She sighed as she held the scrubs in her hand and looked at the dirty school bathroom
“WELCOME ABOARD TO THE BREAKFAST CLUB NEWBIE!” Sandrone was startled and looked at the source of the voice; it was her roommates.
“Breakfast club? You guys are here too?” she asked uninterestedly
“Uh…We skipped class and got caught, so yeah, we’re here!” Jean gave her a high five, and Ningguang walked towards her.
“Nice to see you, roomie!” Ningguang give her a smooch on her cheeks
“Ugh! That’s disgusting.” Sandrone grimed
“Breakfast Club, you know the movie. Kick ass students put on detention and fall in love and…”
“You mean a detention club for troubled students… and neither of us will fall in love, so shut it down.”
Another person burst in the door with a mop in her hand.
“Oh, sorry. Didn’t know some people occupied this post already.” A girl said and noticed Sandrone that changed her mood quickly
“YOU!” She glared at the little one
“Who me?”
“ALL MY BOOKS FELL OFF BECAUSE OF YOU, AND I WAS LATE BECAUSE I HAVE TO PICK ‘EM ALL UP!”
“Uh-oh, looks like the redhead didn’t take her anger management class well!” Ningguang commented.
“Redhead? Her hair is black… hmm, maybe the streaks? But it's magenta, “ Sandrone commented.
Then, suddenly, a drunk girl entered the bathroom.
“Oh, Jean, Ningguang, nerd and redhead… Wait, redhead? Oh, bye!” the drunk girl who was Sandrone’s seat mate on her previous class fled away once she sensed trouble
“OI, BEIDOU! COME BACK HERE AND GIVE ME MY SANDWICH!” Ningguang yelled as she followed the drunk girl.
“I DON’T HAVE ONE, I’M DRUNK!” They can hear the voices of the two people who went out
“Ningguang! Wait for me…” Jean tried to catch up to her friend until she bumped into someone who looked like she just woken up from her sleep as she rubbed her eyes and yawned while holding a broom and a pair of scissors for gardening.
“Oh, Lisa? There’s no grass here.” Jean said.
“Oh, hi. I’m sleepy…” the girl said lazily, and Jean pushed her out softly from the door.
“I know, let’s get out of here.”
“YOU’RE GONNA PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID THIS MORNING!” Jean and Lisa heard from outside the bathroom.
“Such a pity…” Lisa commented.
“I know.”
Poor Sandrone was left alone with the redhead in the bathroom. And when she got out, she had this big red bump on her forehead.
She was sent to the nursery to get cured. The redhead threatened her not to tell any professors about this or else she’s through. Judging by the violence and anger issues of the girl, Sandrone was terrified, so she just kept quiet about it and told the nurse that she just slipped in the bathroom.
Now she understands why the redhead is being called a redhead. It’s because she’s dangerous and angry.
And Sandrone now knows the importance of apologising to people…Especially to redheads.
===
Sandrone decided to go to the library in hopes that she could find peace, and people around there would be normal… but she was wrong.
A lot of people were talking to each other, and it annoyed her sense of hearing and what annoys her sense of sight is that she find a girl there who was sleeping with her feet on the table and a book on her face which she recognized as her classmate in her previous class and the girl from detention, which she remembered Jean pertains as Lisa. She just passed through the sleeping person and walked through a shelf of books.
She heard a voice in the English literature section.
“Oh Romeo, where for art thou Romeo?” said the doe-eyed girl who was holding a book as she sat on the floor.
“Scram, Juliet… this is the 21st century. Romeo and Juliet died, end of story.” Sandrone said as she stood at a distance in front of the girl
“That’s why I like it.” The girl said, “Wait, what happened to your forehead?” she asked
“Oh. Some redhead happened.” Sandrone said as she got a book from the shelf
“Ah, the redhead… I think I know her. Is she Columbina, the violent girl from class 3C?”
“I wasn’t sure which class she’s in. I do not care either.”
“Gone with the wind?” asked the girl as she eyed the book in Sandrone’s hand.
“Hmmm, yes”
“It’s a good book. I love how Rhett Butler did not give a damn about Scarlet O’Hara in the end.”
“What about this book?” Sandrone got another book from the shelf and showed it to the girl.
“That’s Anna Karenina. She had a perfect family, but had an affair with another man. She was disgraced, ashamed and heartbroken. She died in the end.” The girl said with much enthusiasm, which is quite ironic for a sad book
“This book?” Sandrone continued to test her knowledge in literature.
“Lolita…A professor who fell in love with a 12-year-old girl. It’s the most controversial book I read. I’m glad they didn’t happen.” The girl shook her head and sighed in relief
“Okay, this book?” Sandrone showed her another book to test the girl further.
“That’s Nathaniel Hawthorne’s Scarlet Letter… The woman who wears “A” as a symbol of being an adulterer and had an affair with a reverend who’s really a coward to accept what he had done… I seriously hate that man.” The girl said. Sandrone was impressed.
“You’re fond of tragic romantic novels?”
“Yes.”
“That’s a bit different, why?”
“Because tragic novels are much closer to reality…Romance is not cotton candy and butterflies. It was never like that. None of these things is ever like that,” said the girl as she lowered her head
“What’s your name?” Sandrone asked
“Lauma.”
“Do you want to have lunch with me?” Sandrone asked since Lauma is the first person who seems to be closer to normal that she met in her university.
“Sure, I’m hungry.”
===
On Sandrone’s second day at her university, she came to school rather earlier than her class time to avoid being late. When she opened her classroom door, she saw that nobody arrived yet. She settled into her seat and tried reading a book. She heard strange noises coming from the cabinet behind her chair.
***CREAK AND SCREECHING NOISE***
Sandrone is a type of person who doesn’t believe in the paranormal, but being alone in a room in the early morning with weird screeching sounds is terrifying.
“Who’s there?!” she yelled, but the sound and noises continued, so she decided to stand up slowly on her chair and walk toward the cabinet.
Her heart is beating rapidly as she lays her hands on the huge cabinet's open holder. She was about to open it when she heard another noise and felt a vibration in her pocket.
“What on Earth…” her phone rang.
“WHO’S CALLING?!” she asked impatiently.
“Your handsome brother, duh…” the caller said.
“What do you want?” Sandrone asked as sweat formed on her forehead as she stared at the cabinet in front of her.
“Your life…” her brother said on the line.
“W-What…”
“I was just kidding! Gee, you sound so weird. Anyway, you left your lunch box stupid. Meet me at the school cafeteria at lunchtime. I’ll give it to you.”
“O-Okay…”
When the phone call ended, Sandrone heard noises and screeching again. Much louder this time. She opened the cabinet as she closed her eyes.
“Peekaboo!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!….”
It was her classmate from yesterday, the paranormal girl who forbade her from sitting on an empty chair because a ghost was already in there, as she claimed.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING INSIDE THE CABINET, MISS…? GOSH, YOU SCARED ME!”
“My name is Ganyu, and I’m playing with my friend, Keqing.” The girl said as she smiled, and her glasses turned darker like in those animés.
“Keqing?”
“Look behind you…”
“I see nothing…”
“Because Keqing is a ghost.”
“O-Oh…A-Aren’t you afraid of ghosts?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Ghosts are much better than humans… Much understanding and much of an observer.”
“Oh…Is Keqing still behind me?”
“Yes.”
“I think I have to go to the bathroom, excuse me.”
===
Sandrone made her escape and went out of the room. She’s not really going to the bathroom; she just wanted to get out of the classroom for some reason. She was standing at a vending machine, picking a drink.
“Cold coffee… I need this.”
Her money was taken by the vending machine, but no coffee fell.
“Oh, what luck!” she dishevelled her hair in frustration.
She was about to leave when somebody spoke
“You don’t give up just like that.” The ‘redhead’, aka Columbina, speaks.
“What…”
“Watch this.” Columbina kicked the machine several times, and all the sodas fell off outside.
“Tada!” Then the redhead gets three sodas from the floor. She opened one to drink and put the two inside her bag.
“WE’RE SCREWED!!!” Sandrone yelled nervously.
“We won’t, if you won’t say a word about this.”
“But that’s bad! This is a school property…”
“I’m telling you… If I got caught. I’m pulling your leg with me.” The Columbina winked at her and went on her own way “See you around, nerd.”
And the two got busted from the deed they had done and were put in detention again. It was true when the redhead said she'd pull the nerd’s leg with her if they were caught because the nerd was seen on crutches for weeks.
===
After a few weeks, Sandrone decided to come home. Her weeks had been pretty much the same as her first and second days in school. She wanted a break and went to her own lab, aka her room.
“Hey Sandrone, what are you doing?” her mom asked her as the nerd was busy creating some robotic stuff on her table
“I’m trying to invent a robot that can wash my clothes, dry them, fold them, and iron them at the same time.”
“Ah, an impossible dream, I see.”
“Mom!” Sandrone whined at her mom, and her mom just chuckled
“So, how’s college? Got friends so far?”
“Hmm… All people in the university are weird individuals, so none so far.”
“Well, aren’t you one?” her mom laughed out loud, and somebody rang the doorbell “Can you get that one for a while? I have to go to the kitchen and cook.” Her mom said
Sandrone went out of her room and opened the main door. She took a few minutes before she came in again. Her brother was in the living room watching random stuff on TV.
“Who are you talking to? ” Childe asked her.
“The trash collector.”
“Oh, I thought you already had a friend. I was thinking of throwing a party.”
“I have friends!” the nerd denied
“Okay, name three you hung out with this week.”
“The maid, the pizza delivery guy and the trash collector!”
“Make sense.”
===
Sandrone was cleaning for a month in their dorm. She likes cleaning, and it is easy; however, Ningguang and Jean made it harder for her by littering their trash everywhere and endlessly disorganising things in their dorms. Not only that, the two like to make fun of her; today, she had enough. Sandrone was mopping the floor until those two showed up again and spilt their drinks intentionally on the clean floor.
“Ooops! Sorry, kid, my drink spilt!” Ningguang said and laughed with Jean, who was clapping her hands for the fun she was having
“Look, I don’t have time for bullies and problem children.”
“You called us children, then what are you, then a microscopic creature?” The two laughed out loud and made fun of her height.
“You know what, I talked to Mr Zandik and asked about my month's turn for cleaning. He said that an agreement doesn’t exist. So I planned to talk to him about your behavior and probably she will call your moms and dads to give you two long lectures about being lazy and headache bullies. Now, what do you say?”
“D-Don’t!”
“I didn’t hear you.”
“P-Please don’t! We beg you…”
“From now on, you’ll refrain from bullying me, and you’ll follow my commands. Are we clear?”
“Aye, Aye, Captain!” the two respond well
===
In the library, the next morning… A girl noticed her friends in the library and was shocked.
“Wow, you two at the library? Is the world ending? A miracle perhaps?”
“Our roomie forced us to be here,” Jean said.
“You two need to be educated,” Sandrone commented.
“Nerd, this is Nefer. Our bestie. She lives in the room in front of us.” Ningguang told Sandrone.
“Nice to meet you, nerd,” Nefer said.
“It’s Sandrone.”
“I’m bored.” Jean lamented.
“Did you know, a while ago at lunch. I stole the Columbina’s sandwich!” Ningguang told an amazing story to her friends.
“Wow, no way. Amazing!!!” Jean was impressed.
“I’d say that’s a big dick energy of you,” Nefer added to the praise.
“Language,” Sandrone said
“Oops, dig bick energy then… Anyway, how?” Nefer asked Ningguang, ignoring Sandrone’s remark.
“I asked Beidou, but she's too drunk to remember.”
“Quiet, you two, we’re in the library!” said Sandrone.
“Hey, a dictionary isn’t a newspaper... Don’t read that daily!” said the whining Ningguang to Sandrone.
Over the past few days, Sandrone asked the two to accompany her to the library to gain knowledge from books.
“Hush, I’m waiting for my friend to come.” The nerd said as she put down the dictionary
“OMG, you have a friend?!” asked Jean in shock
“I am a human being. It is natural for me to have a friend.” The nerd said, “Let’s try the English literature section.” They walked towards the bookshelves and found what they had been looking for.
“Lauma,” called by the nerd
“Oh, Sandrone You got company.” Lauma smiled.
“Wow, nice view.” Ningguang whistled.
“Indeed.” Jean approved.
“I guess I’m the one who needs the dig-bick energy,” Nefer told Ningguang.
“Ooh, your type.” Jean and Ningguang looked at each other in knowing looks, and Sandrone rolled her eyes.
“Tell me, Miss, have you ever been in love?” Nefer flirty asked.
“Long morrow ago, why?” Lauma replied.
“You’re going to court this chic?” Ningguang asked.
“I was going to do it, but then I realised it would be a waste of time,” Nefer replied.
“Why?”
“I ain’t hooking up with Shakespeare,” Nefer said, and her two friends laughed along with her.
Lauma looked at Nefer and smiled.
“Your friend looks beautiful,” she told Sandrone, and with that, Nefer finally shut up her dig-bick jokes as she became beet red.
“Seems like you forgot your balls at home.” Ningguang shrugged.
“Let’s make her one.” Jean teased. Nefer regained her confidence a bit.
“Oh shut up, you two. I don't need balls, I have this.” Nefer raised her fingers in a peace sign.
“What’s that, world peace?” Sandrone innocently asked.
“It’s scissor me timbers,” Nefer said, and Lauma seemed to laugh at the girl. Lauma held Nefer’s hand and touched the fingers on her hand.
“Maybe we can put these to the test someday,” Lauma said without missing a beat, and the trio's best friend was in awe.
“Girl, we like you already!” Ningguang complimented, and Jean nodded frantically. Nefer looked down, embarrassed and didn't speak anymore.
“What are you doing?” Sandrone asked Lauma.
“I’m fixing the bookshelves. You know I work as a student assistant here in the library.” Lauma said
“Are you done? The shelves look organised today.” Sandrone complimented.
“It took three hours to finish.”
Then they heard loud steps coming in their direction.
“NINGGUANG, YOU’RE DEAD!” yelled the redhead.
Apparently, Columbina discovered Ningguang’s mischievous action towards her sandwich. She used a chair to stand on, holding Ningguang by her collar, and slammed her against the bookshelf.
Height difference, my league.
“Hey, have mercy!” Jean tried to mediate, but she was pushed towards the shelf too
“WHY DID YOU DO IT?” Columbina asked angrily.
Maybe being angry all the time helps her to develop some muscles.
“CAPTAIN, HELP US!” The two plead as they stare at Sandrone.
Nefer hid behind Lauma and said, “I’m not here.”
“YOU ASKED THEM TO STEAL MY SANDWICH, DON’T YOU?!” Columbina pushed Sandrone towards the bookshelf as well.
“W-What…”
“YOU GUYS ARE DEAD!”
Then the bookshelves fell like dominoes over each other due to the unstable girl.
“It’s a shame when you create something, then someone destroys it.” Said Lauma as she helplessly stared at what was happening
Then, the librarian saw what happened.
“ALL OF YOU, DETENTION NOW!!!”
===
The girls were sent inside a room along with the others: the drunk and the sleepy head, the paranormal girl and two freshmen.
“Hey girl, you’re here again.” Said Jean to Lisa.
“I brought a comforter and a bolster to Physics. Mr Zandik was not pleased.” Lisa shrugged
“Ganyu, what are you doing here?” Ningguang asked.
“I told Mr Baizhu that Keqing was behind him as he was teaching in history class. When he looked back and saw nothing, he put me in detention.” Ganyu explained.
“Keqing?” Jean asked.
“Her ghost friend,” Sandrone said.
“Oh.”
“Hey Beidou, where’s my sandwich?” Ningguang said, but was nudged by Sandrone on her stomach, “OUCH!”
“We’ve got in trouble because of that sandwich, you jerk,” Sandrone said as she saw Columbina glaring at them
“Why are you here, Beidou? What good deed have you done besides being drunk?” asked Ningguang.
“I mistook weeds for veggies and put it on my lunchbox and ate it. Now, I’m high as fuck as your height.” Beidou said, “Why are you guys here?” she asked
“They destroyed the library.” Lauma suddenly spoke.
“I’m sorry, who are you?” Beidou asked.
“Lauma”, The doe eyed girl said as she shook Beidou’s hand
“Oh, you might want to be careful with that hand. She tends to be lesbian whenever she’s drunk… But she’s always drunk!” Ningguang said.
“Oh.” Lauma mouthed
“But she’s 24/7 drunk?” Lisa said.
“Bitch please, shut up and sleep. And Ningguang is just jealous because she likes me. “
“Excuse me, Beidou. I like the sandwich your mom made, not you.” Ningguang said.
“Oh, so you already met Beidou’s mother,” Lisa concluded, and Beidou cleared her throat to deflect the topic.
“Anyway, who destroyed the library again?” Beidou asked, and the three roomies pointed out Columbina.
“WHAT? NINGGUANG STOLE MY SANDWICH!”
“T-That’s… it was Beidou! Not me!” Ningguang pointed to the drunk girl.
“YOU STOLE MY SANDWICH, BEIDOU?!”
“Ningguang told me to steal her sandwich!”
“So you remember!”
“Still your fault!”
“It was a dare because we were playing truth or dare, and you picked dare!” Ningguang said.
“Because you ask me hard questions on the truth!” Beidou said.
“What questions?” Jean dumbly asked.
“Maybe if she likes her,” one of the freshmen guessed.
“Bingo.” Ningguang said, “But I’m sorry. Who are you guys?”
“Jahoda, freshman. This is my friend Ineffa.”
“You little rascals. What did you do?” Nefer told the younger girl.
“You know them?” Ningguang asked curiously.
“Why of course, how can I forget my little sister?” Nefer said.
“Oh, didn't know that,” Ningguang said
“Well, unlike Beidou. I haven't invited you to my house.” Nefer smirked.
“Irrelevant,” Ningguang said.
“It was Jahoda’s fault. She copied my test answers.” Ineffa explained.
“I did not, and you were wrong as well!” Jahoda said.
“How did you know I was wrong if you didn't look at it?” Ineffa said as she crossed her arms to challenge Jahoda.
“Okay, I’m sorry. Anyway, I’m hungry,” Jahoda said.
“I got something,” Sandrone said.
Sandrone pulls out something black shaped like a rat.
“The fuck is that?”
“Don't worry, it's a gummy rat. Wanna bite?”
“What flavour is it, plague?” Jahoda grimaced.
“Based on my calculations, the gummy rat is 100% edible. So I want one. “ Ineffa took the gummy candy from Sandrone, and Sandrone was pleased.
“Finally, an ally,” Sandrone said.
Then a professor came into the room.
“Professor Zandik?” Sandrone said in confusion.
“That’s right, Miss Sandrone! I told you I’ll keep my eye on you.” Mr Zandik said.
“Uhm, excuse me, sir. Why are we here? Aren’t we supposed to be cleaning around the campus now as a punishment?” Ningguang asked.
“You’re all here because all of you have been frequently in detention. The dean isn’t pleased about this. If you girls are going to form a club, it isn’t gonna be a detention club!” Mr. Zandik said
“Err… how about street sweepers club? Cleaners club can be good too.” Beidou said randomly, and all of the people in the room stared at her with an ‘Are you fucking serious?’ look. “No? Okay, carry on.”
“So as I was saying, you guys are always in detention. Is there any problem why it happens all the time?” Mr. Zandik asked
“We don’t even know why we are in detention all the time. We’re just being ourselves and yet, they don’t like it.” Ningguang shrugged
“What do you mean you do not know? You, Miss Ningguang, you’re always in detention along with Miss Jean for frequently skipping classes!” he paused for a moment and looked at the sleeping figure “You, Miss Lisa… Wake her up for Pete’s sake!” he scratched the back of his neck in frustration.
“Pumpkins!” Jean yelled, and suddenly, a dolphin scream was heard
“AAAAHHH, THE FUCK, KILL IT!”
Apparently, Lisa has a pumpkin phobia.
“Miss Lisa! You’re always sleeping all the time… And you, Miss Beidou.” He said as he looked at Beidou.
“Hi, I’m high.” Beidou greeted him
“Yeah, and you’re always drunk too!” and he looked at Columbina.
“And you, Miss Columbina, why are you so violent? You don’t even go to your anger management class!”
“I got lazy. Anger management ain’t fun anyway. I punched a guy in the class on his face, and he cried like a baby.” Columbina said nonchalantly.
“Girl, I like you!” Jahoda cheered for her
“Cool, want a punch too?” Columbina offered.
“Nah, sister. I’m cool.” Jahoda said
“Quiet!” Mr. Zandik said
“You, Miss Lauma and Miss Nefer, I thought you both were nice students, but why are you here in detention?”
“Beats me. I don’t know either. I guess I wanna die. ” Nefer shrugged.
“I don't know either,” Lauma said.
“Oh, I almost forgot the first-time offenders. Freshmen. I am so disappointed.”
“Sorry.” Jahoda and Ineffa said in sync and apologised like a freshman would.
“And you, Miss Ganyu, you can’t scare people like that!” Mr. Zandik said
“I’m not scaring them, I’m just saying what I see,” Ganyu said.
“What about me, Mr Zandik? I didn’t do anything.” Sandrone said
“Miss Sandrone, you’re a transferee, and yet you’ve been a troublesome one! “
“I didn’t know correcting people for their mistakes was troublesome.”
“Those people are professors, they know what they’re doing! Are you even smarter than them?” Mr. Zandik said
“Yes, I am.” Sandrone innocently replied
“Ugh, why can’t you girls do a good deed for our school?! You girls will be put on counselling to reflect on your actions. Do well or get kicked out.” Mr Zandik finished with his speech, “You girls can go out now.” He said
“Oh, Mr Zandik?” Ganyu said
“Hmm?”
“Keqing’s behind you.” Said Ganyu as the girls went out of the room.
“Keqing?”
“Her ghost friend,” Sandrone explained.
“I-I’m going out with you girls, too. I have classes to attend.” He said as he cleared his throat and ran his way out of the room
===
The troublesome students were sent to counselling right after their classes had ended. They wasted an entire day on the counselling house for nothing. The students would only cause trouble in their counselling session. Ningguang and Jean would just eat their food as the lecturer spoke in front, and Lisa’s snores could be heard every time their session happened. Beidou kept on drinking her booze and chuckling madly by herself. Ganyu would keep on saying… “Keqing’s behind you…” to their lecturer, and Sandrone would say, “That's her ghost friend.” Columbina kept on tormenting the Sandrone by throwing papers at her back, and as for Lauma… Well, she just imagined a tragic story about their lecturer dying in front of them, and it made her smile. Nefer was just chilling, and the freshmen were listening intently to the lecturer.
Their last activity for the day was to draw their family tree. Fifteen minutes had passed, and Columbina was caught by their lecturer doing nothing. So the lecturer yelled at her and forced her to do the activity.
“Hey, I've got no more paper. Give me one.” Said Columbina to the Sandrone.
“That’s because you threw it all at me.” Said Sandrone.
“Yeah, it’s all because of you, now give me one,” Columbina ordered
“Karma happens.” Sandrone ignored the Columbina and proceed on doing the activity
“What did you say?”
“I said I have never been an idle or a parasite.” Said Sandrone.
“ARE YOU CALLING ME A PARASITE, YOU PIECE OF SHIT?!” yelled Columbina
Then there it goes, the Columbina punched the Sandrone when she refused to lend her a paper for their activity.
“ENOUGH!” the lecturer yelled, “ALL OF YOU PASS YOUR WORKS!” The lecturer sighed in disappointment at what he saw.
“Ningguang, this is not a family tree. This is the food triangle!”
“I thought family is love, and I love food, so they’re my family.” Ningguang shrugged
“Not because of Beidou’s mother’s sandwich?” Nefer asked, and they all roared in laughters.
“Beidou, why did you draw a leaf?”
“That’s weeds, sir.”
“Who passed the blank paper?”
“Me, sir, I fell asleep,” Lisa said as she yawned
“Miss Lauma and Miss Nefer, why did you draw each other on your family trees?”
“For future purposes, sir.”
“Jahoda and Ineffa, why do you have identical families? Are you related?”
“No, she copied my work,” Ineffa explained.
“Ganyu, why did you draw a tree?”
“My friend lives there.”
“Is he Tarzan?” Jean sked
“No, she’s a ghost,” Ganyu said
“I HAD ENOUGH OF THIS! I’M OUT OF HERE. SORT YOURSELVES OUT OR GET KICKED OUT, I’M QUITTING!”
“There’s someone behind you…” Ganyu said, and the lecturer fled in terror
“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!…”
===
“Okay, so what will you guys do when you’re kicked out?” Jean asked
“Sleep,” Lisa said lazily
“Be a stripper,” Nefer said
“Run for my life,” Sandrone answered.
“That’s odd, why?”
“Mom’s gonna kill me.”
“I’m gonna miss you when you die, roomie!” Ningguang gave her a bone-crushing hug
“I can’t breathe!” Sandrone complained
“Detach yourself or die in my hands.” Columbina threatened Ningguang
“S-Someone’s jealous.”
“WHO THE FUCK IS JEALOUS?”
“Guys, enough! I don’t want to be kicked out. Let’s settle this matter, please?” Ganyu said in matured manner
“How?” Lauma asked
“Simple, identify the root of the problem.” Sandrone said smartly, “Who’ll be the first one to volunteer?” She asked them not to speak a word.
“Maybe an open forum,” Ineffa suggested.
Jahoda had an idea: “Let's spin the bottle!”
“Okay, where can we find a bottle?” Sandrone asked.
“Beidou’s booze!” Ningguang said
“Nah, I’m still drinking!” Beidou protested
“Cooperate or die.” Columbina had spoken, and Beidou gave up and lent her bottle.
The girls formed a small circle as they sat close towards each other. They spin the bottle. The person where the bottle went will have to answer questions. They spin the bottle, and it goes through the first person to be interrogated.
“First! Ningguang.”
“Why do you skip classes?” Sandrone asked
“It ain’t fun, and the subject is just too hard to understand.”
“You’ll never understand a subject if you don’t attend to it. It will only be much harder than what you think.”
“Why do you like Beidou’s mother’s sandwich too much?” Jean asked curiously
“Well, that’s the question I can never answer.” Ningguang shrugged
“Next, Lauma!”
“What about me?” Lauma asked
“Gee, does she have a problem? She’s normal, I guess.” Jean said
“I thought Ganyu was the most normal one here?” Ningguang asked
“Nope, she’s paranormal,” Jean answered
“Next is Nefer?” Sandrone said.
“The only reason why Lauma and Nefer are here is because of you three roomies,” Ineffa said
“No! It’s Columbina who made the shelves fall. Not us!” Sandrone argued
“YOU STOLE MY SANDWICH!” the Columbina reasoned
“I didn't!”
“Hush, women on Earth. I’m trying to sleep here. ” Lisa yawned.
“Girl, why do you sleep so much?” Jean asked
“I don’t know… Maybe dreams are better than reality, I guess.” Lisa answered and was struck by a realization “Wait, the bottle didn’t spin at me.”
“Forget the bottle. Imma drink it now.” Beidou stole the bottle
“Why do you drink a lot?” Sandrone asked
“To forget.”
“Forget what?”
“That I’m an alcoholic.”
“That’s stupid.” The Columbina commented
“I know.”
“What about you? What’s your problem?” Beidou asked Sandrone.
“Me? I had no problems. I’m perfectly fine. Thank you.”
“I couldn’t hear you over your ego!”
“You’re too restrained. You have a high IQ but very low EQ. That’s your problem.” Columbina said
“Ha. Talk about EQ, you’re always fuming in anger! You’re so violent. Why are you like that?!” Sandrone retaliated.
“Just because.”
“Girl, you have anger management issues.”
“Sometimes when I get upset, I blow up like a bomb!”
“Yeah, and I become the punching bag.”
“I…I just can’t express my feelings well.” Columbina said, “My life sucks so bad that I wanted to die… evaporate….dissolve…disappear.” She said
“Life sucks, but you just have to hold on. That’s why you’re given a chance to live today to change it for the better. If you die today, no one will remember you because you did nothing good with yourself. Use your time wisely. Uplift yourself. Stay positive.” Sandrone said
“Nobody likes me anyway.” Columbina shrugged
“You have to love so you’ll be loved... And you’re pretty, someone likes you for sure.”
“Really?” Columbina smiled
“You look beautiful when you smile…” Sandrone said as she stared at the latter
“Do you really think so?” Columbina asked as she blushed
“Look, the redhead’s blushing!” Ningguang teased
“I’m not blushing, I’m just a redhead!” and she blushed even more.
Sandrone just gave her a huge grin, and the redhead looked at the latter. Columbina stared at Sandrone. She suddenly imagined the nerd in a knight's shining armour suit. She was mesmerised and hooked.
“Yes, just always stay cool. Control yourself.”
“Yeah, stay cool, girl, and our school will be a safer place to go to,” Jean said
“Like you go every day,” Beidou said
“Well, I go to school every day. Ningguang just skipped class, so I did too.” Jean said
“Why do you go with Ningguang anyway? You’re put in detention all the time because of her.” Lisa said
“I want to be in detention, though.”
“Strange, why?”
“Because I want to see you,” Jean said shyly
“Do you like me?” Lisa asked
Jean nodded and smiled as her cheeks blushed. Lisa did too.
“Aww, cute!” Nefer teased, “I always know you like girls.” She said
“Really, why?”
“Because you got the dig-bick energy,” Nefer said
“Dig-bick?” Jahoda asked innocently.
“It's nothing. Anyway, why do you always copy Ineffa’s answers?” Nefer asked.
“I guess she's dependable, and I admire her a bit,” Jahoda said.
“A bit?” Ineffa asked.
“Okay, maybe a lot. Happy now?”
“Aww, cute. I'll tell mom.” Nefer said.
“ What? Nooo, if you do, I’ll tell mom you were having eye sex with Lauma the whole time!” Jahoda blackmailed.
“How did you know eye sex but not dig-bick?” Ningguang curiously asked.
“She has more to learn in life,” Jean said.
“Okay, so what’s the plan?” Sandrone asked
“I thought you were the smartest one here,” Columbina said
“I want to know your insights,” Sandrone said
“I have an idea,” Ineffa said
“Spill.”
“Well, you know that the pep rally will be next week, right?”
“Aww, yes!” Beidou cheered
“My favourite time of the year!” Nefer said excitedly
“How about we volunteer to clean the campus grounds before and after the pep rally? Mr Zandik will be pleased with our good deeds!”
“So, are we officially the cleaners club?” Beidou said
“Well, if that can save us from getting kicked out. Why not?”
“That’s the smartest thing I ever heard in this conversation from freshmen.” Jean clapped her hands in excitement
“What happens in a pep rally?” Sandrone asked
“Oh, you’ll see newbie… it will be fun,” Ningguang smirked
“Well, it’s a wrap! The meeting adjourned.”
“You’re shaking, Lauma, are you cold?” Nefer asked
“No, I’m just chilling’…” Lauma said as keep on throwing glances at Ganyu, who was intently looking at her, “Ganyu, is there something in my face?” Lauma asked as she shivered a bit
“No, Keqing’s just behind you.”
“Oh”
“EVERYBODY SCRAM YOUR BUTTS OUT OF THIS ROOM!”
Then, the room was empty in less than a minute.
===
“Gah…I’m tired!” Said Sandrone as she plopped herself on a chair. They just finished cleaning the field for the pep rally, and the run had started. Now they are resting on a vacant room on the second floor of their building “I’m thankful that Mr Zandik seems to be quite pleased about our proposition.”
“Well, prepare yourself. We still have to clean the field later.” Jean said as she peeked over the windows, along with the other girls
“What are you guys watching over the windows?” Sandrone asked
“The runners and nudity,” Columbina said uninterestedly as she drew random things on the board
“Huh?”
“See for yourself.”
And then they heard a loud cheer from the field as the runners started to come out.
“OMG,” Jahoda said as she blushed
“You’re not allowed to see that,” Nefer said as she covered Jahoda’s eyes
“Huge,” Ganyu said as she watched the runners.
“That’s the part about them I really admire.” Said Lauma as she watched the male runners at the pep rally
“This is the most interesting part about our school,” Lisa said as she amusingly watched the men wearing masks as they ran on the school field.
“Oh, so you’re awake.” Beidou teased.
“Perverts,” Jean said
“You just don’t have appreciation for men because you have dig-bick energy.” Nefer retorted
“Like everyone in this room!” Jean defended.
“Right, lesbian rights.” Lisa nodded.
“What are you guys talking about?” Sandrone said as she went over the windows to see what was happening, " WHOA, THEY RUN NUDE?! IS THIS EVEN LEGAL? OMG, MY POOR EYES!” Sandrone said in shock as she saw naked men in masks running on their school field
“Well, it’s legal nerd. Ever heard of social activism?” Ningguang asked as she munched her food.
“You know, eating a hot dog sandwich is very inappropriate in times like this,” Sandrone replied
“I don’t care. My food, my life.” Ningguang shrugged
“We don’t know her.” Jean pertained to Ningguang as she shook her head
“Oh, shut up, roomie.”
“Why do they run in nudes for?” Sandrone asked, still looking outside, interestedly.
“It’s social activism. To be out of norms and to be proud of oneself.” Lisa said
“You nerd, continue staring at the window or die.” Columbina glared at Sandrone, and it gave the nerd chills.
“O-Oh… What shall I do then?”
“Come here and erase everything I draw on the board.” The redhead said, and Sandrone complied. Columbina kept staring at her as she did what she had been told.
‘What a total pushover.’ Columbina thought.
“Is there something on my face?” Sandrone asked
“Say, let’s go out later,” Columbina said
“I can’t later. I’ll be reading books.” Sandrone said
“How about tomorrow?”
“Well, I can’t either. Its weekend tomorrow, I’ll be out of the dorm. I’m going home.” Sandrone was speaking when she sensed Columbina glaring at her.
“Say yes or die.”
“Y-Yes…Sure.” And she awkwardly chuckled
“Good, here’s my number. Text me your address. I’ll pick you up at 10 am.” Columbina smiled
“O-Okay.”
The cheer grew louder and louder. And a lot of confetti has been thrown on the field.
“Prepare yourself, girls, we have lots to clean later,” Jean said
They cleaned the entire field after the run, and the good news Mr. Zandik was pleased. They are saved from being kicked out and officially become the cleaners club.
===
Since its weekend, the next day, Sandrone decided to go home. She spent her time hacking her brother’s computer password.
“BETTERTHANEDSHEERAN1234…” Sandrone grimaced and shook her head disappointedly and made a mental note to remind her brother how bad his password is.
She decided to cave in on her room, doing what she does, completely forgetting about her date.
Meanwhile, outside Sandrone’s house…
“Is this the Fatui’s residence?” Columbina asked a ginger boy who opened the gates after a few doorbell rings.
“Uh-huh,” Childe said as he observed the latter from head to toe.
“I take it you are one of them? “
“Uh-huh. “
“I’m looking for someone.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Is there anyone here who speaks English? “
“You’re the redhead in class 3C?” Childe asked
“Yes. Columbina Hyposelenia to be specific.”
“Oh, what are you doing here?”
“I’m looking for a certain nerd named Sandrone. Is she inside?”
“What did Sandrone do?” Childe asked
“We have a date.”
“I’m sorry, what is it?”
“We have a date.”
“That’s what I thought you said.”
“You heard it right.”
“Oh…follow me.” Childe and Columbina made their way inside the gates
“Oh, who’s this beautiful lady?” asked Mrs Tsaritsa to Childe.
“Mom, prepare for a party,” Childe said
“Why?”
“Sandrone got a date.”
“OMG! I’m Sandrone’s mom.” Mrs Tsaritsa shook the redhead’s hand enthusiastically
“Hi, Sandrone’s mom. My name is Columbina. Can Sandrone come out and play?”
“Sure, let me call that brat…” Mrs Tsaritsa went upstairs, and her voice can be heard downstairs
“SANDRONE, GET YOUR ASS OUT OF YOUR ROOM! SOMEONE’S LOOKING FOR YOU!”
“I do not like people! I do not like light! Let me stay inside this house forever!” Sandrone replied
“But your date is here!”
“I have no idea who you are talking about,” Sandrone said
“Columbina is here.” Her mother said
“Columbina? OMG… Wait!” Then Sandrone rushed out of her room and went downstairs and saw the Columbina looking prepped up, posh and pretty in her dress.
‘Just like a goddess.’ Sandrone thought.
“Wow…” Sandrone said in awe.
Childe picked up an invisible thing on the floor and gave it to Sandrone.
“What is this?”
“Your jaw, it dropped.”
“Can you wait for five minutes? I’m sorry, I forgot.” Sandrone apologized
“For a nerd like you, you’re certainly forgetful,” Columbina commented.
“I’ll be fast.”
“Sure, will be waiting.”
While waiting, Mrs Tsaritsa showed Columbina Sandrone’s baby pictures and welcomed her to the Fatui family.
===
In a cafe, Columbina and Sandrone arrived, and the waitress guided them to their seats.
“Hi, I'm Arlecchino. I'll be your waitress. ” Said a good-looking, charming woman to the ladies
“Hi, I'm Sandrone. I'll be your slave.” The nerd joked as she stared at the waiter, amusingly and later received a hard kick under the table from Columbina and a glare from the girl on the counter.
Arlecchino looked at her co-worker and smiled as a form of reassurance. The girl on the counter seemed to relax.
“OUCH!” Sandrone complained.
“Keep flirting or die.”
“What would you like to order, ma’am?” Arlecchino asked.
“I would like a Swiss Chocolate Peppermint. Not too strong but not too mild either. With marshmallows on top, please.” Sandrone said
“Err…We do not have that on our menu ma’am.” Said the Arlecchino
“Don’t mind her. Will get this.” Columbina point something at the menu
“Okay, ma’am.”
The waitress took her leave, and Columbina struck up a conversation with Sandrone.
“So, I would like to know more about you.”
“My name is Sandrone. I’m a child prodigy. My IQ is higher than the professors at our school.” Sandrone said casually
“Oh, is your IQ higher than your ego as well?” Columbina teased
“I’m only stating a fact.” Sandrone shrugged
“I want to know more about you, like what’s your favourite song? What is your favourite TV show? Who are your friends? I want to know something interesting.” Columbina lean on the table and listened to the nerd
“I do not look at the song title, but my favourite song ends in exactly 3:45 seconds.”
“I didn’t even know how long my favorite song lasted.” Columbina said, “What’s your favourite Disney movie?” she asked
“I don’t watch Disney Channel, I like History Channel more.”
“Oh, come on! Everybody loves Disney.”
“Well, History Channel is my Disney.”
“Who were your best friends when you were in high school?”
“My best friends are the class genius and the counsellor.”
“Oh.”
Another waitress came in and gave their orders. It was the girl at the counter a while ago.
“Here's your coffee, Miss.”
“Oh, thank you, Miss…?”
“Furina. Yes, ma'am?” the waitress said.
“This is double Mocha, I wanted Swiss Chocolate peppermint.”
“I’ll call your previous waitress to confirm.”
“Arlecchino, come over here.”
The charming waitress walked over.
“Is something the matter?”
“Uhhh…Can I have your number?” Sandrone was starstruck looking at Arlecchino. The waitress was really on the borderline of being pretty and handsome. Furina raised her eyebrow, and Columbina kicked her again under the table.
“Ouch!”
“Uhm, with that I have to ask my girlfriend first.” Arlecchino looked at Furina, Furina looking shocked as ever.
“Don’t mind my dumb girlfriend,” Columbina told them.
“H-Huh? I’m your girlfriend?” Sandrone and Furina asked in sync and looked at each other dumbfoundedly. Furina cleared her throat, “Well, that’s eventful.”
“I-I…”
“Speak.”
“I like a Swiss chocolate peppermint with marshmallows on top.”
“I’m sorry, we don’t have it on the menu,” Arlecchino said.
“Oh, that’s sad. I’ve been craving for it since last night.” Sandrone sighed.
“Oh, I'm sorry, let me draw you a map to the kitchen,” Furina said to Sandrone, still half glaring at the nerd who didn’t know what she did.
“Miss Arlecchino and Furina, it’s alright. You can go now.” Columbina said
“Thank you, ma’am.” Arlecchino and Furina said as they went to the counter, holding each other’s pinkies and smiling so big.
“So, back to our topic. What did you and your friends like to talk about before?”
“Politics!” Sandrone said enthusiastically
“That’s boring.”
“Politics is nerds’ love life… They talk about it like men spread rumours.”
“Touché.”
“Hmm…”
“What’s your favourite colour?”
“White.”
“Wow, plain.”
“Simplicity is the best, and yours?”
“Purple.”
“What about you? What’s the most interesting thing you did in high school?” Sandrone asked
“I got my Halloween costume. I went as the devil.”
“Makes sense.”
“I want to choke you until you can’t breathe.”
Then suddenly, a fog caught up Sandrone’s glasses due to the coffee.
“Happens all the time.” The nerd said as she removed her glasses to wipe them. Columbina stared at her and smiled
“It’s the first time I've seen you without glasses. You actually look good.” She complimented
“Gee, thanks. You aren’t bad as well.”
“Thanks.”
“I like your hair, did you put some Hydrogen and Carbon in it?” Sandrone asked as she carefully examined the other girl’s hair
“Wow… as much as I would like you touching my hair. I would love if you hold my hand instead.” Columbina said
“Oh, later. I’ll finish my coffee first.”
“Okay.”
“Do you think I'm boring, Miss Columbina?”
“No, I think you're out of your mind.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“I don’t mind, though.”
The two went to a park as part of their date. They also watched a movie and went out to dinner. They spent their entire day with each other. As the two depart in front of Sandrone’s house…
“I had fun.” Said Columbina as she held the latter’s hand.
“W-What are you doing?”
“You said you’ll hold my hand after you finished your coffee, but you never did so I’m holding it now.”
“Oh, I almost died in your choice of film.”
“Well, I like scary films. You became so clingy while we were watching.”
“I see. You like affections.”
“Please don’t ask other people’s numbers next time on a date.”
“Okay…N-Next time?”
“Would you like to go on a second date with me?”
“Err…”
“Say yes or die.”
“O-Okay, but…”
“But?”
“Why would you like to go out with me?”
“Simple, I like you.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know, but whenever I see you, my heart flutters.”
“Mine too.”
“So, is it a yes?”
“Oh... It’s a yes then.”
“Good.”
“How about the third, fourth, fifth and so on dates?”
“Not bad, I don’t mind.”
“That’s better.”
“Well, I’ve got to go inside now. Good night.”
“Goodnight
“Wait.”
Columbina kissed her, passionately for the first kiss.
“You’re mine.”
“...”
“See you at school, girlfriend.” Columbina gave her an eye smile and left
The nerd was left standing outside in shock.
“Anyone else have butterflies in their stomach?” she asked no one as she entered her house starry-eyed.
Ever since that day, the two would always go out and text and call each other often. Columbina religiously attended her anger management class well and became a whole lot calmer than she was before. She is no longer violent and tries to be understanding before she gets angry.
“What are you doing?” the redhead called Sandrone on a lazy Saturday afternoon
“I am currently downloading…”
“Downloading? At this hour? What about lunch?”
“That’s exactly what I meant.”
“Oh, you download food?”
“Yes.”
“How about the upload?”
“Don't ask nasty things.”
“You know that you’re actually really weird.”
“You’re weird, too. You like this weirdo.”
“That is true… Anyway, Ganyu is throwing a pyjama party at her flat.”
“Will it be a pyjama party or a Halloween party?”
“Well, you know how it is.”
“The whole gang is going?”
“Yup. The entire cleaners club.”
“Okay, will be there.”
===
On the Pyjama party…
“Why… No drinks for tonight? I thought it was a party.” Beidou whined as she looked around Ganyu’s flat
“Shut up, human, you’re trying to quit drinking. Remember?” Ningguang pinched Beidou’s cheek.
“Ah, yeah… I almost forgot.” Beidou giggled
“So, how are you guys after the counselling?” Jean asked
“Well, as for me, I no longer skip too many classes,” Ningguang said proudly.
“Stop bluffing, I saw you at the canteen during physics.” Beidou chuckled.
“Well, can’t drop habits, but at least we’re doing much better in school now.” She shrugged and sat on Beidou’s lap.
“Oh, please. A PDA? Right in front of our salads?” Sandrone rolled her eyes.
“Redhead is around the corner,” Ningguang commented.
“Yes, you may sit on me if you want to, Sandrone,” Columbina replied.
“Uh, no, thank you.”
“You’ll change your mind.”
“Anyway, I agree. We haven’t been in detention for weeks because we attend classes well.” Jean said
“I try to control myself from scaring people too,” Ganyu said
“That’s a good change!” All of them said in sync and chuckled
“I became less lonely when I am with you guys,” Ganyu said gratefully.
“It’s a miracle that Lisa isn’t sleeping right now.”
“My reality is much better than my dreams right now, so as much as possible, I would like to stay awake and have memorable memories with my newly found friends,” Lisa said, holding Jean’s hands.
“And Jean.” Ningguang teased
“Well, Jean is one, but this gang is important too for me,” Lisa said, and Jean kissed her hands.
Jahoda made that disgusted face.
“How about you guys, Lauma and Nefer? What’s up with you? Have you ever regretted being with us, since you two are the most normal ones here?” Ningguang asked.
Nefer scoffed, “Regret? You mean how I bag this woman after being with you guys? I’d say zero regrets!” Nefer showed her, and Lauma’s intertwined hands and her sister Jahoda gagged around the corner, and Ineffa patted Jahoda’s back.
“Hater,” Nefer told Jahoda.
“Is everyone in this room in love? Ugh.” Jahoda complained.
“Yes, including you,” Nefer replied.
“Noooo! I guess Ineffa, and I got Ganyu on the list of single ladies in this club!”
Ganyu looked away shyly.
“Before I met you guys, I was into reading books with tragic and sad endings. But now, I only read books about positivism, and I have become more eager than ever. So, I don’t regret any of this.” Lauma said
“The redhead seems to be chill these past few weeks,” Lisa said as she eyed Sandrone slowly making it on Columbina’s lap.
“Well, I’m taking my anger management class seriously,” Columbina replied
“And dating?” Lisa teased
“U-huh.”
“What did you see in our roomie?” Ningguang asked
“I don’t know either. I guess that’s just love. You fall for no reason at all. You’ll just love the person for who that person is. And, I think she’s beautiful.” Columbina said as she smiled towards Sandrone. She put her head on Sandrone’s shoulder and tightened her grip on the latter’s waist.
“I don’t think I’m that beautiful…” Sandrone said as she blushed
“Look, her ego went down! Is it really you?!” Jean said as she shook the latter
“I love humble Sandrone,” Ningguang said as she hugged her roommate
“I can’t breathe!” Sandrone complained
“Detach yourself or die in my hands,” Columbina said as she glared at the two who gave her peace signs.
“But seriously, I’m also thankful that I met you guys. When I first went here, I really did not like to go to college, but now, I enjoy it a lot. This is like the most memorable years in my life. I hope we stick together even right after we graduate.” Sandrone said
“Well, we’re a bunch of problem children; however, we managed to deal with our problems together. We cannot change who we are, but we can improve ourselves and make each other better. I cannot imagine a life without you guys.” Columbina said
“So, to the cleaners club?”
“To the cleaners club! Forever and eternity.”The others said as they put their hands together
“Yay, wait. My hands are cold.” Lauma commented.
“That’s because someone put her hands on top of yours, too.”
She then looked at Ganyu, who was turning red as she touched her own cheeks.
“Are you okay, Ganyu?” she asked.
“Uhm…”
“Something happened on your cheek?”
“Uh… Keqing just kissed me.” Ganyu blurted out.
“Oh…” everyone said.
“ALL OF US WILL SLEEP IN THE SAME ROOM TONIGHT!!!” Lauma screamed
“We got ghost dating before Genshin anime release!”
Indeed, it became a Halloween party.
Different people with different problems in their lives fused and found answers towards each other as they became friends. It’s been a year since their friendship started, and now, the cleaners club is as tight as ever. They became improved individuals; however, as they said, some hobbies can’t be broken.
Columbina was beyond excited today, today is her and Sandrone’s anniversary. She was hype when she saw Sandrone with pink balloons in her hands. A birthday hat and a cake as she approached the latter.
“Wow, you remembered!” Columbina said in joy
“Of course! Happy National Pi Day!” Sandrone greeted her girlfriend with wide enthusiasm
“SANDRONE, YOU’RE SO GONNA GET IT FROM ME!!!”