Work Text:
Hanahaki disease is when a person suffering from unrequited love coughs up or vomits flower petals, with roots growing in their lungs. It's a metaphor for the pain of one-sided love. Whoever has it can only be saved by the affection being returned or through surgical removal of the flowers, which causes the victim to lose their feelings for the beloved.
Suguru knew he had it. It ran through his family, and it took quite a few of his cousins from him. He knew he was done for when he first met Satoru, the tall, handsome, charming, popular-with-the-ladies guy from his class back when he was a teen. If he were honest, he could go on about Satoru and his good looks for hours without stopping, even though it's been years since he last saw him.
The flowers stilled slightly after he distanced himself and formed his cult. He didn't cough as much, and the thorns in his lungs didn't hurt as much anymore. He got his money from the monkeys and got to live another day. Sure, he may be missing Satoru like hell, but he'd rather live than see him and die.
The days have been moving slowly as of late. Fewer and fewer monkeys walked through his doors, winter was approaching quickly, and he was running out of energy to deal with the people who were actually coming in to speak about their worries. The longer Suguru spent thinking about Satoru, the harsher the effects on his body. He woke up one morning and immediately threw up a bundle of flower petals and blood with a wince. He cleaned up, bracing himself for the day, and decided that he'd take the girls out shopping to help take his mind off things.
—*—*—*—
The shopping centre wasn't too crowded, as it was a Tuesday morning. Suguru carried the multiple bags that Nanako and Mimiko had acquired from the various stores they had already visited on both arms since they were busy trying on (another) new outfit. After a while, he would tap his credit card at the reader, put the clothes in yet another bag, and take the twins out to eat somewhere. He settled on KFC.
Nanako and Mimiko placed their orders on the kiosk, and just as Suguru was about to place his order, he froze.
White hair. Covered blue eyes. Lanky. All black outfit. That stupid grin that could never be wiped off.
It was Satoru. But he wasn't alone.
There was a woman, too. She wore heavy makeup on her face, large hoop earrings and a skimpy outfit. Sugar cringed internally at the sight. She had her arm looped through his. He didn't recognise her; she was probably a non-sorcerer.A filthy monkey had her hands on Satoru.
They were smiling and laughing together. Suguru felt his heart plummet and jump into his throat all at once.
Hesitating, he paid, gave the girls the receipt and told them to get the food when called. Suguru didn't take his eyes off the man as he slowly walked towards him.
“... Is that you, Satoru?“
Satoru froze. He'd recognise that voice anywhere, and the faint smell of curses radiating from him. He turned to look at Suguru, pulling down his blindfold.
“Suguru?“
Suguru scoffed in disbelief. He felt a pain in his chest, but he wasn't sure whether it was from the flowers blooming or from the shock he was still reeling from after seeing his love again, after several years.
“It's... good to see you. Great, actually. How've you-“
A shrill voice interrupted him. The woman beside Satoru, the monkey, tugged on his sleeve and whined petulantly. Like a fucking child.“Satoru, can you hurry up? I'm hungry, and there are so many other stores I wanna see! When's the food getting ready?“
A vein throbbed on Suguru's temple. Who exactly did she think she was, butting into their conversation like that?! Satoru simply sighed in exasperation and nodded.
“Soon, my love. Just wait a moment.“ He chided, pulling away from her half-embrace. A pang of satisfaction flooded Suguru as he did that. “Suguru, I want you to meet Hana. She's my girlfriend. Hana, this is Suguru, the man I was telling you about.“
Suguru flinched at the word "girlfriend". His jaw tightened slightly when he heard the name, too. Was Satoru really dating a girl with the same name as the disease that'll kill him?
“It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Hana. I'm an old friend of your boyfriend here, back from when we were in high school.“
“Oh, right. Hello, I guess. Whatever. Come on, Satoru!“ Hana totally ignored him. He was pissed, but he wouldn't let it show; he still had dignity, after all.
Suguru was about to make a petty remark when Nanako called him over from one of the tables. He cut the conversation short with a quick goodbye and walked over to her and her sister. He sat and ate, ignoring the lingering gaze of those beautiful blue eyes from afar.
—*—*—*—
A few weeks later, Suda walked over to Suguru. He looked up from his place on the floor and raised a questioning eyebrow her way.
“Yes, Suda? Is the next monkey ready?“
“It... isn't that. A man is here, says he really needs to talk to you.“
Suguru's heart did the thing again, and he swallowed. He could tell who it was from that sentence alone.
“...I see. Send him through, if you will.“
Realistically speaking, only a few minutes went by. But those minutes— no, those seconds felt like hours, waiting for Satoru to appear before him, until he did. There, in all his glory, was Satoru.
“So, you got yourself a little monkey to look after?“
“Suguru, she isn't a monkey. And why are you starting with that? I just got here, for Christ's sake!“
“She's filthy. You shouldn't let her touch you." "Let me touch you instead, Satoru", Suguru thought to himself. He stifled a cough, peeling a flower petal off his tongue with a slight grimace. Satoru frowned in concern when he saw the other man do that.
“Suguru, are you alright? You just coughed something up. You aren't dying, are you?“ Satoru joked, but his smile didn't quite reach his eyes.
“...It's just a cold. You shouldn't worry about me. What you should be worrying about is that monkey taking over your life and taking you away from your actual responsibilities, like being a teacher — or better yet, being a sorcerer.“ Suguru's expression twisted in a mix of disdain and pain. He'd hate himself if Satoru found out, because he'd most likely lose him forever or
Satoru frowned. He didn't understand why Suguru seemed to dislike Hana so much. He could tell that it wasn't just because Hana wasn't a sorcerer, but he didn't know what else was bothering him. There was a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that something bad was going to happen to his best friend, and it'd be something to do with him.
“Suguru, talk to me. Please. I know you, and I know when something's wrong with you. You aren't telling me something, and I can tell. I thought we were best friends, why aren't you telling me something?..!“ Satoru's voice cracked with emotion as he spoke. The normally upbeat and careless sorcerer was starting to break under the pressure of knowing that there was something up with Suguru. The nagging feeling only grew in his head, and he clenched his jaw.
“I'm just fine. Peachy, even. As I said, you shouldn't worry about me.“ Suguru's expression stoned. It was a mask of total calm and faux reassurance. He knew Satoru could see right through it; of course, he could. He could tell that he was starting to get worried. A sharp, stabbing pain filled his chest, and a metallic taste settled on his tongue.
“Suguru, please just tell me. Something's wrong.“
“...Suda, take him away, please. Let the next monkey in.“
Suda quickly entered the room and ushered Satoru out, though with a struggle.
Suguru waited for the next person to come through. At the end of the day, he threw up enough blood and petals to fill a small bucket.
—*—*—*—
A few weeks went by. Suguru was half asleep and pale on his bed, staring up at his ceiling when Nanako burst in with Mimiko.
“Hey, wake up! Have you heard? There's this kid, he's supposed to be some hot-shot special grade! Apparently, he's got this cursed girlfriend or something!“
“...What did you say just now?“ Suguru sat up slowly, his expression a mix of shock and disbelief. A special grade? Whose power is a curse? He needed to get his hands on her. Now.
"What's his name?"
"Okkotsu, Yuta. He's a first-year at Jujutsu Tech."
That was the turning point. All he needed now was to find this "Yuta" kid, steal his girl, and he'd be able to finally get rid of all those monkeys... including that Hana.
—*—*—*—
You know what happens next—December 24th.
Spluttering and coughing, Suguru stumbled over to the wall. He practically collapsed onto it and slid down it, clutching his injured arm. His breaths were shallow as he lolled his head back, resting its crown against the cool, brick wall. He knew he was about to die, but deep down, he hoped it was from his injuries. He didn't want Satoru to find out anything about his disease, but if he came, then he reckoned he'd just get it off his chest. He was practically rotting as is. Just as the thought crossed his mind, that mop of familiar snowy hair appeared out of the corner of his eye. Slowly, he turned his head to face Satoru.
“You're late again, Satoru...“ His voice was weak and strained, as if he was using the very last of his strength to just speak to him.
“...Look at you. I thought we were the strongest. You shouldn't be so... so hurt , I-... Suguru, you aren't leaving, are you?.. You can pull through by the time Shoko arrives-“
The sun started to rise.
“It's too late for me now.“
Silence followed the final statement. Satoru stared at him in shock and slight panic. He couldn't lose his best friend; he just couldn't. He slowly approached the other man as he started coughing up a thick, red liquid. His stomach dropped.
“Suguru...“
“...Satoru, I need to be honest with you. Just listen to me.
“Anything!- Just don't go yet...“
“Satoru, I-“ Suguru took a deep breath. He needed courage he didn't have right now, but he pulled through with a wince. His head was starting to feel light, and his vision dark.
“I love you. As in, in a more than friends way. I've loved you since the moment I met you. The way you kill curses so effortlessly, the way your beauty shines through when you smile, the way your eyes crinkle in the corners when you smirk, the dimple you have on your cheekbone that only shows when you laugh too hard... I love it all about you. Everything about you captivates me. You’re so perfect to me, I sometimes can't even comprehend it. You're perfect in every aspect. You’re everything I could’ve ever wanted and more. I’ll always think you’re the most beautiful person in the world, even if you don't think that yourself. Even when you inevitably don't feel the same about me, which I imagine is right now. I'll die knowing that I told you, at least.“
Another silence. Satoru stared at him in shock, and an overwhelming sense of guilt, sadness and disgust washed over him.
“...I'm not gay, Suguru. I don’t know what reaction you expected, but that’s a fact. You’ve met Hana. I’ve never been gay. I will never be gay. Now stop fooling around and stay awake. You’re not dying on me, and you most certainly aren’t crushing on me either. It’s wrong if you are.“
Satoru’s words hit like a punch to the gut. Or rather, a thorn through it. A small, wooden spike pierced the flesh of his abdomen, and blood spewed from Suguru’s mouth. He couldn’t believe that Gojo could say such a thing to him, especially right now. A sad smile crossed his mouth as he spoke with a shaky tone.
“At least curse me in the end, instead of scorning me for being who I am. Tell me, Satoru. Do you really think that way about me? That I’m wrong? That I’m fooling around? Like my feelings aren’t real.“
Guilt started to scratch at his conscience; he knew he was being harsh, but he kept talking still. “…I do. It’s true. At least, that’s what Hana says, and she’s usually right.“
The remaining blood in Suguru’s paling body boiled. He stared at Satoru in shock. “…There’s no way you just said that… Hana? Her again? Satoru, can’t you see she doesn’t love you? She’ll never-“
Satoru cut him off with a scoff. He was starting to get irritated that Suguru wasn’t seeing things the way he did—the way she did. “Oh, please, let me guess. She will never love me as you do? Save it. You’re just confused. The shock from hitting your head so many times must’ve done something to you.“
“Satoru, please don’t let our last words be an argument… I’m dying before you. I’ve laid my heart out for you. I’ve told you my biggest secret. Why are you still brushing me off?“ The words came out forced and choked. Petals were starting to fill his throat, making it hard to do anything. The thorn in his side only grew, puncturing through the skin of his back. His lungs were filled with stems and roots.
“Suguru, I'm sorry. I don't feel the same. I love Hana.“
“Hana is killing me, Satoru, and you don't know it.“ Suguru whispered raspily. His strength was fading. The last rose petal fell from his lips just as he uttered the last of his words, slumping against the wall limply before he could take his last breath. Satoru rushed to his side, but he was too late.
“You're late again, Satoru“ “I love you, Satoru“ “She doesn't love you, Satoru“ “Am I wrong for loving you?“
Suguru's words throughout the conversation filled his mind like how the tears filled his eyes. He reverently muttered his name to the already cold skin.
“You're late again, Satoru.“ He knew. He picked up the rose that fell from Suguru's mouth and crushed it in his hand in grief, the thorns pricking his palm. Not like he cared, though.
—*—*—*—
A few months went by. Satoru had by then learned about Hanahaki. He also broke up with Hana after realising Suguru was correct in assuming she was a fame-hunting gold-digger. A small funeral was held for everyone who was lost. Satoru was the last to leave. He didn't stay long at Suguru's grave, only long enough to leave something to say goodbye with. A single, bloodied rose, like the one Suguru had left him.
He was late again; only this time to realise that Suguru was right about everything. Satoru couldn't bring himself to apologise to that cold, stone slab. It wasn't his best friend. Attached to the rose was a note, which read:
“You weren't wrong for loving me. I was wrong for denying that I was loving you, too.“