Chapter Text
Dear Mom,
Guess what.
Werewolves are fucking real!
Pardon my French but I think if there’s any excuse for swearing finding out that werewolves are real should be it.
What’s more unbefreakinglievable is that Scott’s that gets to go and howl at the moon, or whatever werewolves do on a Saturday night. Like excuse me, who’s the one that has a massive thing for the preternatural and has done for as long as he can remember. Oh yeah, that’s right me. I’d make an awesome werewolf.
Scott’s totally wasting those furry mutton chops and pointy teeth. All he can do is complain about how he stands no chance with the new girl at school, because she’s turned out to be a hunter. Well not her but the rest of her whole family is.
And oh yeah, hunters are apparently a thing too. Why not right? As if werewolves don’t cause enough drama on their own already. We really should have seen this one coming though. Her surname is Argent for Christ’s sake. And pardon my lack of French vocab knowledge, but I’m 96% sure that means silver. Yeah silver, as in the only thing fatal to werewolves. We’ve all seen enough classic horror movies to recognise that cliché.
And Scott still wants to date this girl. Well you know what Scott’s like, just one giant puppy. Which I guess is even more true now than ever. So it falls to me, his old faithful pal, and now sidekick, to sort all this out.
At least one good thing has come out of this. It’s given me something to research. Which means I no longer have time to think outside of the box, or curriculum, with my homework assignments. Coach is going to be sad though, I think he secretly loved my paper on circumcision.
Talk to you later Mom, I got to get going.
P.S. I do lacrosse now, which is why I’ve got to go. Me and Scotty have training.
PP.S. Its Scott’s thing rally but I go to make sure he doesn’t wolf out on anyone. It’s what any good sidekick would do.
PPP.S. When I say ‘do lacrosse’ I mean I fall over a lot while running about at training and sit on the bench at matches.