Chapter Text
Sif paused in that way they often did before making a joke, creating an intentional moment of suspense in order to build anticipation – or dread for those who didn’t appreciate puns. “… tree-mendous tree.”
Isabeau laughed. Sif always came up with the best puns. Or well, he was maybe a little bit biased, only a little bit though because it was a good one no matter what. He lifted a hand, intending to grasp Sif’s shoulder but… no. They didn’t like to be touched. He pulled his hand back and…
Sif stepped closer and into his space. Not a problem really but… “Uh, Sif?” He began before cutting off with a wordless sound of surprise as Sif grabbed the front of his shirt.
He yanked Isabeau down and put their mouths together in something that was clearly meant to be a kiss but was more just pressing their mouths together hard enough to be uncomfortable. There was desperation in it, his whole body was rigid with it, his grip on Isabeau’s shirt tight. Something was wrong here, very wrong.
Isabeau put a hand on Sif’s shoulder and pushed him away. Harder than he’d intended to but it had it been sudden and a lot. He hadn’t exactly had time to prepare for whatever the crab that was.
With a sharp intact of breath, Sif let go of his shirt and took a step back. Horror and panic dawned on their face as they looked up at Isabeau, their eye growing wide with it. … He’ d messed up. Pushed them too hard or should’ve just let it happen and talked about what that was supposed to have been about after because he’d seemingly made whatever was wrong even worse. The absolute last thing he’d ever want to do.
He took a breath to apologize. Before he could get a single syllable out though, Sif’s eye rolled up into the back of their head as their body went limp. He was thankfully close enough to catch them before they hit the ground. “Sif!”
No response. They hung heavy and limp against him; unconscious. Carefully he lowered them into a lying down position.
“Sif, pal, you okay?” Stupid question. Clearly the answer was ‘no’. But were they injured – a hit on the head that had taken a little while to catch up to them – or just sick?
His eye was half open, still rolled back so that only the white of it was visible. He didn’t like to be touched but… there wasn’t really much of a choice here, was there? Isabeau lifted a hand to press against his forehead. … He was running a little warm, a slight fever. Nowhere near bad enough to have been much of a concern if not for his current state of unconsciousness but it did mean he was ill. Knowing that much was a good first step towards making it better.
Just to be thorough, Isabeau carefully took Sif’s hat off to check for any sign of a physical head injury too. There didn’t seem to be anything but Mira would probably be better at determining that. Speaking of Mira, she was the one most likely to be able to help here. Her healing spells were best at taking care of physical damage but she’d used them to help sick folk a couple times during their travels so they should help Sif too no matter what exactly was wrong.
Isabeau put their hat back on before scooping them up into his arms. Cradling them against his chest, he stood. He then turned and fast walked back towards town proper. The place was about as bustling as small towns could get, meaning not very. Upon rounding the big Change God statue in the center, Mira became visible sitting on a bench a short distance away. Isabeau picked up his pace as he started for her though he was careful to jostle Sif in his arms as little as possible. “Mira!”
Lowering her papers, she looked up at him. Whatever she’d been about to say died on his lips as she gasped instead. Quickly putting her stuff away she stood as he reached her. “Did something happen? Are they hurt?”
“He fainted.” Before that had been the kiss. Were they related? Probably. Whatever was wrong with him was enough to alter his behavior before knocking him out. “He was acting a bit strange.” No need to specifically mention how so, right? It wasn’t anyone else’s business. “And then he just… passed out without much warning. He’s got a slight fever, I think so he must be sick or… maybe poisoned?” That wasn’t likely but it wasn’t impossible either, right? Madame Odile certainly thought assassins sent by the King to kill them was a possibility. So close to the King would be the most likely place for such an attack to happen, right? Everyone knew why they were here after all. Mira would be the primary target for that though, not Sif. And who would ally with the King?
“He did seem a bit out of it earlier, now that I think about it. I didn’t think that… never mind. Let me just…” She lifted her hands and Isabeau extended Sif’s body a bit closer towards her in case that would help her healing spell take.
Her magic sparkled over his body, producing no immediate effect. Silence held for a long moment as they waited for him to stir. Isabeau would put him down on the bench immediately if he did. But… other than the gentle raise in fall of his chest as he breathed, he remained still. His eye was closed now though as if he were merely asleep instead of fainted. A good sign, hopefully, even if he wasn’t waking.
“Is there a proper doctor in town? Not that your healing spell isn’t amazing but…” What if it was the kind of thing a mere healing spell, no matter how powerful, couldn’t fix? Sif hadn’t woken up after all.
“I don’t think so. People usually went to the House’s infirmary for medical care so there’s probably not anyone here who can help much. We could try giving them some tonics or a Crafted Water. If those don’t work, letting them sleep is probably all we can do for now.”
“I’ll take them to the Clock Tower.”
“Good idea. I’ll go to the store to get the tonics and to tell Madame Odile what’s happening. We’ll meet you there and probably stop by and tell Bonnie on the way so everyone knows.”
With that they split up, Isabeau continuing further east while Mira went towards the shop. He walked a bit slower this time, hurrying wouldn’t change anything. And maybe Mira’s spell had worked and Sif was fine now, just asleep. That sure would be nice.
Regardless, carrying Sif was strange. They weren’t terribly heavy, just like Isabeau had thought every time he’d imagined lifting them off their feet. Which he probably daydreamed about more often than he should given their aversion to touch. But here they were in his arms at last. They’d even kissed… sort of. It was all wrong. Not at all how he’d imagined it would happen if it ever even did.
The kiss probably didn’t mean anything, did it? Sif was clearly unwell and thus that had probably been a product of whatever had caused them to faint immediately after. And he’d pushed them away anyway so if it had somehow meant something, he’d messed it up. … None of that mattered right now anyway though. Making sure Sif would be okay came first every time.
***
Sleep clung to them and they’d have gladly fallen back into it but alas, a beam of light coming from somewhere hit their face just right, making that impossible. Soon enough they had almost no choice but to open their eyes.
Above him was a ceiling. Utterly unfamiliar. He rolled onto his side. A night stand stood next to the bed. Atop it was a large hat and a small dark cloth. Both also unfamiliar. Where were they?
Carefully they sat up, letting the blanket fall off their front. They were on one of three beds. The room was fairly small otherwise with only a single window the sun dipping low on the horizon visible through it; the source of the light hitting their face. There was only one door. They threw the blanket off so they could shift their legs off the side of the bed and stand up. Their head swam, making the room feel like it was swaying around them. Thankfully it didn’t last long and thus they were soon able to walk over to the door and press their ear to it.
Voices came from the other side but were too muffled to discern any meaning from. He cracked open the door just enough to allow him to hear better.
“… to the House with us tomorrow?” A feminine voice. Anxious? Unfamiliar.
“If they’re sick enough to be passing out, they’re too sick to fight the King.” Another feminine voice. Stern. Also unfamiliar.
“But we can’t just leave them here! That wouldn’t be fair.” Was that a kid?
“We might have to especially if they don’t wake up before we leave tomorrow.” Stern lady again.
“He’ll wake up before then… hopefully.” A masculine voice this time. “Once he’s up, I’m sure it’ll be easy to figure out if he’s okay to come with us. I mean we used all the healing stuff we could so he might be fine now, just asleep. Speaking of which, I think I’m gonna go check on them again. Be right back.”
Who were they talking about? Him? … Maybe. Just in case, he closed the door and back pedaled away from it. Returning to the bed he’d woken up in he… didn’t have time do to anything more than sit on its edge before the door opened. The fellow who stepped inside was tall, buff, and… unfamiliar, just like everything else.
His face lit up as their gazes locked though, indicating he knew them. Closing the door, he stepped inside. “Sif! You’re awake! How are you feeling?”
So ‘Sif’ was their name then? Good to know. Why hadn’t they known that before? Also, why did this guy know their name when they didn’t? What was his name? Sif should know it, right? Because clearly they knew each other but… nothing was coming to mind.
His expression fell as he walked over to look down at Sif. “You okay?” He was worried now. … Sif was messing up with their forgetting. They knew each other well enough for him to be worried about them and Sif didn’t even remember his name! What was wrong with them?
They put on a smile. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just a bit…” They gestured vaguely, let him interpret what that meant exactly. Surely their memory would return soon, right?
He sat on the bed next to theirs so that they were sitting facing each other. “You sure? Because it’s okay if you’re not, you know? You um… really gave us quite a scare there.”
Would asking about it give away that Sif didn’t remember anything? Surely not because whatever happened resulted in them waking up in bed and needing to be checked on. So… “What happened?”
“You fainted suddenly and didn’t wake up for what felt like ages but I guess was probably actually only a couple hours.” That wasn’t super helpful in figuring anything out. There had to be more to it than that. A reason Sif didn’t remember.
“Okay. What was I doing before I fainted?”
He seemed to almost flinch slightly, his shoulders straightening. “You don’t remember?”
“Nope.” They remembered… nothing. Literally nothing. They clearly still knew how to walk and speak and whatnot but as they pressed into their mind for anything more, anything they’d done or anyone they’d seen before waking up just a little while ago, nothing came to them. What about their childhood? They’d had to have had one so… A spike of pain shot through their head. They barely managed to hold in a wince. What had they just been thinking about? … Right yeah, their friend, they’d forgotten him because they were a bad person apparently.
Buff guy had thankfully looked away from them. He looked almost like he was blushing a little. “Don’t worry about it then. It’s… probably better if you don’t remember.”
“The way you say that makes me feel like I should be worried about it.” Sif needed something, anything. Surely just one concrete piece of memory and they could start to reconstruct the rest before he realized how horrible of a friend they were for forgetting him. Were the other people he’d been talking to also friends that Sif had forgotten? Probably, right? “If I was like acting weird or something, I want to know.” Had whatever caused them to lose their memory happened before or after passing out? Surely they were related.
“Oh uh… I guess that’s fair. You were definitely acting weird. I was at the Favor Tree and you came up to greet me and then you made a joke, you remember that part?”
“Nope. Was it a good joke?” Did they normally make jokes?
“Yeah. I thought it was pretty good, you could even say tree-mendous because that uh… was the pun you made. So that was normal but um… after that you…” His gaze averted as he hunched in on himself. “You kissed me. It was uncomfortable and you were like super tense so clearly something was wrong so I uh… pushed you away. You looked horrified for a moment and then your eye rolled back and you went limp. It was scary.”
Okay. Sif was the type to make jokes, specifically puns, good to know. But was the kiss itself strange or just how tense and uncomfortable it had been? The ‘probably better if you don’t remember’ comment implied it was, right? So that was the safer bet to make.
“You’re feeling better now, right?.” His embarrassment was overtaken by concern as he returned his gaze to Sif’s. Regardless of the exact nature of their relationship, he clearly cared about them and they didn’t even know his name.
They put on a smile for him. A lie. He deserved better than to be lied to and forgotten. They kept the smile on though because apparently they were a liar. That was one thing they knew about themself at least. “Yeah. Much better. I have no idea what that was about.”
“Did you hit your head or eat anything weird?”
“Hmm… I don’t remember anything specifically but probably.” Something had to have happened. “I’m okay now though.” Other than the fact that he’d forgotten his friend/s anyway.
“Good, that’s good. We should probably head out now and let…”
“Frin’s awake!”
Sif flinched and looked up towards the door. A kid had opened it. They’d turned their head away to call to whoever else was here. Turning their attention back onto Sif and buff guy, they pushed it the rest of the way open before coming in. “Just in time too ‘cause food’s done! I made sure to make some soup too in case your too sick to eat real stuff.” They seemed to be addressing Sif with a similar familiarity as buff guy did. Alas, no answering memories came to him featuring them, not even their name.
“Siffrin! You’re up!” Two women came in behind the kid. One with glasses, the other with a bow in her hair. It was the latter who’d spoken. Both were equally unfamiliar. “How do you feel?”
Their name seemed to be ‘Siffrin’, ‘Sif’ or ‘Frin’ for short. They should’ve known that. Putting on a smile, they stood. The world swayed again but not as bad as before and thus it was probably fine. “Better.”
“Can you tell us what happened?” Glasses lady asked, her arms crossed. She was the stern voice from before.
“Last thing I remember is deciding to go to the Favor Tree and then um…” He closed his eyes, pretending to try to remember more. With a sigh, he opened them again and shook his head slightly. “I don’t know. From my perspective, I woke up here. I’m fine now though.” As long as no one asked for more details about before anyway.
“That is the direction I saw you go in,” Bow lady said.“You were running a fever earlier but not a bad one and last time we checked on you, it was gone so it might be unrelated. Maybe a tree branch fell and hit you on the head on the way there?”
“I’ve heard that can happen sometimes,” buff guy added. “You get hit in the head but don’t really feel it until later. You have a headache or anything like that?”
Being a little dizzy didn’t count, right? “Nope. I feel fine.” Was their tone causal enough to be convincing? With no solid frame of reference, they couldn’t guess.
Glasses lady studied him, her expression unreadable because he didn’t know her. Was she onto him? “Are you well enough to come with us to the House tomorrow? And don’t lie if you aren’t, this is serious. If you have another fainting spell like that, you could put us all in danger.”
It took some effort but he kept his smile on. If it was dangerous though maybe he should come clean. … But then they’d know how horrible of a friend he was. Which shouldn’t matter much if he didn’t remember them anyway but… the thought made his insides twist. Maybe he’d always been a bad friend and hiding it had become an ingrained instinct. Surely he’d remember eventually anyway so no real need to reveal that, right? “I think I’ll be okay.”
“If that changes, let us know, okay?” Bow lady said. “I would never force you come at all but especially if you’re sick, you shouldn’t push yourself. But speaking of tomorrow, it’s a big day. We should eat so we can go to bed early.”
“Quick before the food gets cold!” the kid added. “Let’s go!” They turned and rushed back out, leaving everyone else to follow.
Siffrin went last, even stepping back to let buff guy proceed them. When earned them a look from him that they had no almost no hope of reading properly because they didn’t know him like they should. So they just ignored it and followed him into the other room.
~
The food smelled wonderful. Siffrin stuck to the soup at first because they indeed didn’t feel particularly great. It seemed to help though, making it possible to try other stuff. Most of it they couldn’t name but as long as no one asked, that could remain another little secret of theirs.
While eating, the others occasionally shot a look Siffrin’s way, indicating he was perhaps doing something strange and/or they were still worried about the fainting thing. Hopefully more the latter than the former. Mostly they engaged in idle chatter though. Siffrin stayed silent and listened in hopes of something jogging a memory starting the landslide of everything else falling into place in their mind. Alas, they had no such luck.
They did have some luck though in the form of getting everyone’s names. The kid was Boniface, Bonnie, or Bonbon, depending on who was referring to them. Which one Siffrin would be expected to use was unclear. Stern lady was Madame Odile or ‘Dile. Buff guy was Isabeau or Za. Presumably, in both cases, the former would be expected from Siffrin. But then there was Mirabelle, Mira to Isabeau and Belle to Boniface. The latter was probably off the table as the kid seemed to have their own way of referring to everyone, but was Siffrin the type to use her full name or shorten it to Mira? The latter would be easier but if it wasn’t normal for them, it would be noted as odd, right? Regardless of which it was, each new name they got, they repeated it internally over and over to themself. An attempt to drill it in to not forgot again but also in hopes of jogging any memories about their friends. It didn’t work.
Mirabelle’s speech after everyone was done eating reinforced the importance of the House. Apparently, they were here to kill the King who’d frozen a bunch of people, or something like that. It was the end of a long quest they’d gone on together at her behest. Meaning she was the leader of their group. Good information to have.
Everyone seemed quite excited for tomorrow. Siffrin wasn’t pulled into group hug about it. No one seemed to think this strange though so they hung back. Madame Odile wasn’t pulled into it either so it wasn’t necessarily more proof they’d been a bad friend before losing their memory. It could mean that though.
Afterwards, it was apparently Siffrin and Isabeau’s turn to wash and put away the dishes. Not knowing where or how any of it was supposed to be packed away, they made sure to take over the washing part. They’d never done this kind of thing before – though, probably they had, they just didn’t remember it – but the motions were simple and easy to intuit.
The silence lasted for about as long as it took to scrub a single plate clean before Isabeau broke it. “I think this is the first time since you got it, that you felt comfortable hanging out with us without your eye patch on. No hat either, that’s interesting.”
Eye patch? Were they missing an eye? That explained the hat on the nightstand next to the bed he’d woken up in though. In hindsight, they should’ve known to grab it and the thing next to was probably the eye patch they apparently usually wore. They were messing things up already.
Isabeau chuckled softly at whatever expression they must’ve inadvertently made. “You didn’t realize you weren’t wearing them, huh?”
Siffrin looked away ostensibly to grab the next plate but really to hide whatever might next appear on their face. “Maybe.”
“I thought that might be the case. It’s not a problem though of course. Seeing more of your face is nice actually. I just thought I’d mention it to make sure you knew in case you didn’t and might feel embarrassed about it later when you realized. Because I don’t want you to feel embarrassed about it. Which, now that I think about it, might be exactly what I’m doing by bringing it up so maybe I shouldn’t have but uh…”
“It’s too late,” Siffrin cut in. “Now you have to face the consequences of your actions.” They looked back up at him and gave him their best attempt at a smirk.
His eyes widened for a moment before it seemed to click and he laughed instead. Not a big laugh or anything but the sound of it filled Siffrin’s chest with warmth. They’d actually made him laugh and with just a stupid pun, no less. “And what might those consequences be?” He leaned in towards them a little bit more.
“Um…” That warmth somehow found its way to Siffrin’s face now. Was that meant to sound as flirtatious as it felt? Were they reading too much into it? And if it was flirting was it friends flirting for fun or actual flirting? What even counted as flirting? Why was that their first thought to begin with? What was wrong with them? They needed to answer. “More puns of course.”
“Of course. Got any good ones?”
“Hmm…” They were doing the dishes together so something with that, right? “Hmm… dishes tough, you’ve really put me on the spot. Gotta really rag my brain for something good. Alas, I’m coming up dry.”
He chuckled, filling their chest with more of that warmth. “Well, soap-fully, you’ll think up a good one later.”
Now it was their turn to laugh. Joking like this with him felt natural and good, like they’d done it before even though it wasn’t actually familiar. Which was confusing in its own way. They didn’t need to worry about it right now though so they just kept scrubbing dishes and handing them to him to dry and put away.
Such comfortable silence with occasional banter held for until they were done, everything washed and put away. Isabeau didn’t immediately head off to get ready for bed though. Instead he looked up and around as if ascertaining it was just the two of them in the little kitchen area, prompting Siffrin to check too. It as indeed just them. The others were in the other room still, visible through the opening but it was otherwise pretty private.
Isabeau sighed as they looked back at each at about the same time. “I uh… also wanted to apologize about earlier… when I pushed you after… you know. I know you don’t remember it and weren’t in your right mind but… you looked real scared and upset before you passed out. I kinda can’t stop thinking about it. … It was just… a lot at once and I wasn’t ready for it and… something was clearly wrong with you. Which is maybe a good reason to not bring it up again but… I wanted to apologize anyway.”
“It’s okay.” Siffrin clearly deserved the push as they’d been forcing the kiss on him when he wasn’t ready for it. They’d already determined they were a bad person after all. “I’m sorry I did that.”
He nodded. “It’s okay. But um… you’re okay too now, right? I know you said you were fine earlier but… just to double check.”
“Yeah. I’m perfectly fine now.” Much better now that he’d eaten. “But uh… if you had been ready for it and it wasn’t… bad, would it have been a problem?” A question Siffrin definitely should not ask but gosh he wanted to know more about these people and his relationships with them. … He was a disgusting creep, pretending to be someone he wasn’t.
“Oh!” Isabeau seemed to almost flinch as he took a step back, his face darkening with a blush. “Um…”
“Wait, don’t answer that. Pretend I didn’t ask.” Siffrin took a step back too and likely would’ve fled but their positions unfortunately meant Isabeau was between him and the exit.
“No, no, it’s fine. It’s fine. If um… I was ready for it and you were okay with it too and not unwell then uh…” he looked away, “I think it might’ve been… okay, maybe even good.”
“Oh!” What was Siffrin supposed to do with that information? Why had he asked for it? He shouldn’t have. Too late now.
“Yeah, oh, indeed. So… what about you? If you were ready for it and not unwell uh… would it have been okay?”
“I… I… I don’t know. I don’t know.” How could they possibly know when they knew so little in general? Would them prior to the memory loss have been okay with it? They’d initiated it, right? Why though? Because they’d wanted it? If so, they clearly messed it up really bad. “I don’t know.”
“That’s okay.”
“Not a ‘no’.” Siffrin should probably just drop it, not lead him on or anything of the sort. When he inevitably found out about their lies and their having forgotten him, it’d only make him hate them worse. But they’d already blurted it because they’d apparently forgotten how to keep their mouth shut too. Possibly, they’d never known. “It’s not a ‘no’. It’s a ‘I don’t know’ because I don’t know. I’m confused.” Finally a true statement, go them. Though ‘confused’ was a bit of an understatement. They were lost and bewildered, far from the distant shores of understanding.
Isabeau smiled at them. “I know. And I repeat, ‘that’s okay’. How ‘bout we talk about this more tomorrow after we kill the King, huh? Or maybe even sometime after that. However long you need think about it is fine, all right?”
He was looking at them with such kindness and understanding it made Siffrin’s heart ache as if they were about to cry. A strange medley of emotions. Their memories were gone but their feelings weren’t and without the former, the latter made little sense. Perhaps they’d been confusing before too and were just more so now. “Thanks.”
If he heard the emotion in Siffrin’s voice, he didn’t react to it. “Let’s go get some sleep. We got a big day tomorrow.” With a gesture, he led the way out.
Boniface hopped up and intercepted them upon their exit back into the central room. “What took you so long in there? Anything uh… interesting happen?”
“Nope,” Isabeau said with an impressive amount of casualness. “We were just making jokes. Wanna hear some?”
Their face scrunched up with disapproval. “No.”
“Ah, too bad. Maybe some other time then. Me and Sif are headed for bed though. You should probably consider heading that way soon too.”
“It’s still so early though.”
In the corner, Madame Odile closed her book and stood. “We should all start getting for bed. The sooner we’re up tomorrow, the sooner we can get to taking care of the King.”
Boniface perked up. “Oh, right, okay. Bed time then. ‘Night.” And with that they were off. Killing the King was particularly important to them, noted.
“We ride at dawn,” Mirabelle said as she stood. “Except we’re not riding anywhere, we’re walking to the House and it probably won’t be at dawn, so never mind. But let’s do try to get out of bed at dawn so we can get going early. I’m ready for this to finally be done.”
And with that, it was officially bedtime. Everyone getting ready for it at once was a bit of a flurry but they seemed to have dealt with such before and thus everyone was sorted sooner rather than later. Five people but only three beds naturally meant most of them would be sharing. Siffrin lay down in the one they’d woken up in. Isabeau joined them, not surprising at this point.
Having just woken up a little while ago, Siffrin didn’t feel particularly tired. They stared up at the ceiling instead. Their first memory technically.
How far could he dig this hole? How long before the weight of his lies collapsed back in on him? It was only a matter of time, right? He’d mess up eventually and reveal himself. The longer he put it off, the more they were going to hate him when they found out. It was his fault too. Not just the lies but the memory loss too somehow.
They couldn’t remember the mechanism of it but they knew why; the kiss. Isabeau hadn’t been ready for it and it had been bad and wrong. Even if he’d have been okay with it under better circumstances, Siffrin had still forced it on him. Naturally of course, they’d hated themself for it as soon as they’d realized upon being rightfully pushed away. And then somehow they decided deleting their memory was the right way to handle that situation. … Except, wouldn’t it have made more sense to erase Isabeau’s memory of it? Maybe they were trying to do that but messed that up and it backfired, resulting in their current situation. They deserved it then. All the hate and anger when everyone else found out would be well deserved too. … That wasn’t a comfort. All they could do was keep digging though, right? Avoid it as long as possible. That would only make it worse but what else could they possibly do? Maybe they’d die in the House tomorrow and then it wouldn’t be a problem anymore, no one else would ever have to know.