Archive of Our Own

Tony stands before the riotous crowd of reporters shouting questions at him. Every single year of his long life, plus a few extra, weighs down on him as he addresses the press.

He glances at Pepper, who stares at him with a stony expression from beside the makeshift stage. This wasn't his fault. For once, he wasn't involved in this.

Cap caused all this. Cap should be the one up here. Cap should be the one answering for this. Cap should be the recipient of Pepper's scorn. Tony was innocent.

Unfortunately, having Cap up here would likely cause more trouble for Stark-Industries and the Avengers. Somehow, Tony's the safe option, and Cap's the wild card.

He wasn't enjoying this switch-up of roles.

Tony still feels Pepper's stare even when he has turned away. He could hear her angry thoughts. Her disappointment and judgment.

Were they sure that Pepper didn't have powers? He wouldn't put it past her to will herself into gaining telepathy to keep him in line.

NOT that this was in any way his fault.

Tony shudders at the thought of a telepathic Pepper Potts. She'd have the world kneeling faster than Loki planned for Earth in his wildest dreams.

No, he reassures himself. Pepper wasn't telepathic.

She'd have nipped this situation in the bud before it escalated to this whole calamity. She'd be able to peer into his mind and see he had nothing to do with this.

Pepper coughs pointedly, drawing Tony away from his thoughts and back to the present situation.

The reporters look at him expectantly.

"Could you repeat the question?" he asks.

"Is the Captain's recent behavior related to any experiments Stark-Industries has undertaken?"

The crowd jeers eagerly.

"No," Tony says, looking around for another reporter to pick.

The reporter quickly continues, "or any chemicals he'd come in contact with in his duty as an Avenger?"

Tony ignores him and points to the next reporter.

"Stark-Industries recently published its new anti-discrimination policy for its employees and close affiliates, such as the Avengers. The document touches heavily on issues such as the LGBT community. Is it possible that this new set of policies influenced Captain America's recent... turn?"

Tony sighs, leaning in against the podium. "Stark-Industries didn't turn Captain America gay," he says.

"Are you saying," another reporter asks out of turn, "That he just woke up gay?"

"I believe Cap prefers the term 'born this way'," he jokes.

He feels Pepper's frustration bearing down on him. Okay, so the joke wasn't that funny.

"Look, Cap's-"

Pepper makes a tiny, cut-off noise of shock. Tony's stomach drops; he quickly assesses the tower lobby for danger.

Then he spots him. Cap. Wearing obscenely short booty-shorts and a pastel-rainbow camo-print crop top that revealed bites and scratches up his back and stomach. Returning from wherever it was he disappeared after deciding to 'wake up gay' this morning.

Tony quickly ends the press visit, creating a small scene to distract the crowd as Pepper descends on Cap.