Chapter Text
“Please tell me you’re kidding.”
He was infact, not kidding.
Mori pushed his reading glasses up just enough to make both Dazai and Chuuya shudder. That was the universal effect of reading glasses. Mori glanced at his most capable duo. Ever since the dragon head conflict, they had become a living legend, so to say. Soukoku, the secret weapon of the mafia. But even Soukoku, fearful of a name they had made for themselves, shuddered at the thought of needing to infiltrate a lab. A lab of human experiments, still alive after the great war.
“This,” Mori pointed at the picture of the so called ‘orphanage’ “should be the last lab around Yokohama.” He paused before resuming : “That’s why the security is so high.”
Chuuya sighed for what felt the hundredth time today.
“So basically you’re saying we have to hangout the hero, rescue tortured kids, and then blow the whole place up?”
Well, maybe not ‘blow up the whole place’, but that’s Chuuya’s way of saying ‘murder everyone, then leave’, but whatever.
“I kinda do agree with chibi right now. This-” Dazai points at the photo “is a tad bit over the top, why send your top exutives-” he paused for a moment, seemingly trying to figure out why Mori, with his big brain, wants to send them- Soukoku, on a seemingly peaceful mission.
“Because, you two-” Mori points at them, “need to get along more.”
What-
“And because according to our informants the kids, they.. also have abilities.”
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“I know your little brain is picking on and on about this lab but-, could you please do it some quieter, I’m trying to make plan to infiltrate that fucking lab.”
Chuuya sighed for what felt like the 46th time this day.
“Are you really worried or is this one of your games again? Either way I ain’t telling you what’s on my mind.”
“Weeellll~ it is one of the tasks of the owner of a dog to make sure their dog is comfortable-”
“Still not happening.”
“Sureee~ keep telling that yourself chibi, you will get far in life like that- oh wait, you’re too short to make it that far.”
Well, to be fair, there was a lot of shit that didn’t sit right with Chuuya.
For example: why Mori chose them specifically.
Or why did the sheep leave?
Or why did the flags go beyond.(PLUS ULTRA!111!1!!11!1111!!!1111(that’s a joke I wanted to put in, sorry no cannon mha here))
Ugh.
He isn’t getting anywhere with this.
But..
“Y’know, it does bicker my mind why mori chose us-”
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“SO WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS MORI THINKING. WHEN I GET THE CHANCE I’M GONNA RIP HIS INTESTINES OUT THROUGH THAT BASTARD’S BROKEN THROAT FUCKING FUCK HELL-”
“Yes, yes, let alll your frustrations out~.”
“WHAT DID THAT FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT MEAN ‘WE NEED TO GET ALONG MORE’ WE GET ALONG FINE. ALSO, WHY SEND US, ME SPECIFICLY, TO A FUCKING SHITHOLE OF A LAB.”
“Oh, Chuuya you think we get along fine, huh~?” Dazai said, not at all listening to the second part of what Chuuya had just said.
“Oh fuck off, you salted fish. You know I only said that because Mori is a piece of fucking shit and is so fucking miserable-”
“Ohoho- using French now are we~?”
That was Chuuya’s 47th sigh today. Yes he counted them. And it’s a new personal record. Fuck off.
“Can you not be zesty and a fucking irritable every DAMN DAY?!”
“hmm..” Dazai put his finger up to his chin.
“No.”
“MOTHERFUCKER-”
But he did feel a bit better now.
Just a bit.
-------
So, the day Chuuya had been anticipating has come like the Yokohama bullet-train, which, in Chuuya’s humble opinion, is fucking fast. That doesn’t change the fact, that right now he’s waiting on his fucking great partner- that was sarcasm by the way, to explain the whole plan.
“So, over there is the only un-guarded entrance-”
Which, fucking joy, is a vent, so they’ll have to crawl in said vent, and vents are fucking cramped, so, no he’s not just go in there and be all fucking joyous and jolly about it.
“And according to resources, that vent leads to the rooms.”
“And what if there’s guards in the vents?”
“That’s a: stupid, and b: I’ve already accounted for that. Now now, go on and do your little charade with the vent~.”
“Ugh fine- you’re so lucky you’re my partner.”
As Chuuya fiddles with the vent, Dazai, being the planner, decides that the best way to save little kids, is to let Chuuya activate his ability, making the children weightless, and for him to carry them out of their rooms.
“Before we go down the vent of sussy baka-ness and back aches, why are we,” Chuuya points to him and Dazai, “the port mafia, supposed to handle evacuating a fucking lab?”
“That’s because,” Dazai gestures grandiosely, “the armed detective agency can only act solo on murders, or on government orders. As for the government themselves.. I’d think they are just too lazy.”
“Also did you just make among us reference?!” Dazai’s eyes made a little sparkle at one his favorite games being mentioned.
“Maybe.. that’s not relevant now though because the vent only needs one more screw unscrewed, and you’re not helping with your little chit-chat about some sussy baka venting.”
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“Done.” The vent, now open, led to an 8 ft jump down.
“That looks ominous for a vent.” Dazai jokingly said.
“Fuck off, were here to play hero or whatever, so get your ass down there.”
-------
With the glow of Tainted lighting the dark ventilation shaft, Chuuya saw bits of what happened in this lab. For instance, in the first room, that looked more like a cage, (his own cage) was a kid that didn’t even look 6 chained to the wall, obviously malnourished, bones so prominent you would think that the kid didn’t have any organs.
The second room wasn’t better. Almost the same as the first, kid laying lifeless on the ground, this time a girl, she was 4 at most. All her limbs looked like they had been twisted in more gruesome ways than the mafia ever did.
If Chuuya’s honest with himself right now, the rooms looked like semblance of his own when he was still a lab test.
The third room, was a bit better. Well, less mangled limbs and more blood. Just a bit more.
(a bit more injections?)
The dried up blood looked like it had come from various points of the kids body, like the frontal lobe, the shoulders and the knees. It also looked like the skin of the kid had.. become blue? Or, rather, a colder shade of purple.
(“Now, now, don’t be scared. One more and you’re done for the day.” The man explained in a soft almost- caring tone. Like one you’d use for a family member. But he wasn’t familiar. He hid in the corner, not wanting to get that last shot of ‘vitamins’.)
Now that Chuuya looked closer, it looked like there were scratching marks all across the kids body. (possibly from trying to kill himself when he still had control of his own body?
The fourth room looked the most like his own. A ginger boy, possibly 7, was sitting upright like he was a sort of vampire, except the thing holding him up were leather straps, had whip marks across his face. (like a slave from the 1700 in the VOC slavery boats, heading towards America) The veins in his exposed arms had a pink semblance, and malnourishment (like himself when there was nothing to eat but his tongue) signs, like the exposure of bones with muscle and some blood. (back with N, going to the electric shock room, putting him in that chair again, and none there to help him)
No- goddamnit not here panic attack, not now.
The fifth room, is what sent him into a spiral.
The child, presumably only 3 or 4, still had the injection marks from former injections. It looked a bit like the lab wasn’t a lab for abilities, but rather.. “Maybe a lab for transformative abilities?”
“Ne Chuuya, that’s a great idea for why this lab was built.”
Shit. Had he said that out loud?
..
“Urm chibi?”
Was that why the lab he was in was build? They did make a clone of him, so why would they have stopped there? They could have easily created more clones.
Or did they?
Was the whole reason he worked out be because N went to extremes with him? Were all the things he’d been through the most extreme?
Or..
Was N mindlessly doing it? Had N not thought through the extremes?
But..
Why was he the only one who was thrown into that aquarium? Or why was he the only one locked with iron collars and other chains?
Sure, the others also got injected, but as far as Verlaine said, none used the water pipes for longer than 15 minutes. The only time to do hygiene in that place.
Huh.. he felt kinda lightheaded. The type of light after hyperventilating.
But that didn’t make his situation easier. He was still with N.. right?
He heard a faint ‘Chuuya!’ as if somebody wanted to wake him up from a dream. A5128 felt like he remembered that voice. But he didn’t recognize the name. who was calling him Chuuya?
CHIBI!
That voice.. sounded insistent now. But he with N. Chained and locked.
“Hattrack-”
He is on his way to that room, the shock room. The second most painful room in his home.
“Chuuya!”
Again that name. who was Chuuya? Who was he?
“Nakahara Chuuya!” Dazai hissed at his partner, shaking his shoulder violently.
That seemed to wake Chuuya up.
Still breathing as he did before, Chuuya got to regain consciousness again, now realizing that he’s still in the lab he and Dazai need to infiltrate. Speaking of Dazai, he was staring at him like he’d just traveled through hell. In a way, Chuuya did.
“What.” He managed to croak out. Huh. His voice didn’t work.
“Are you like, okay? You just started hyperventilating out of nowhere and didn’t respond to your name.” Dazai stated, but with some actual care. That’s new for the Demon prodigy, the usually emotionless monster. (even if Chuuya thought that Dazai was infact, human, Dazai still said he wasn’t human.)
“Fuckin’ dandy. Almost like I didn’t just remember the shittiest time of my life.” Chuuya spoke somewhat more clearly now.
“Well~ we still need to do..” Dazai paused to count all of the vents in the ventilation shaft they were currently crawling through, “20 rooms on this row alone, so can you not have an panic attack for every room?”
This MOTHER.FUCKER.
“Oh shut the fuck up mackerel, you are one of the not dead people that know about my past experimentation, so you could’ve.. oh I don’t know, expected that I would have gotten flashbacks?! .”
Dazai looked kinda sorry at that, but that could’ve easily been Chuuya’s imagination. Bastard never had an shred of remorse for anything.
“I mean, yes I would maybe- should’ve thought your slow sluglike brain had overcome that godawfull trauma by now~”
“Now you’re just mocking me. Also, that godawfull trauma was literally me getting experimented on ‘till I had a god shoved inside me for a war. What about that screams ‘getting over that’? Huuuh?”
But all honesty, yes, Dazai should’ve expected or, rather, Mori, should’ve expected that this would’ve happen, but now they are indefinitely stuck, and Dazai is stuck with a chibi that needs to get a grip.
“Fineeeee- you can slouch in your misery while I need to deal with your ass~”
“Nah I’m fine, though stop talking to me like you are- what was that last part?”
Wow. Chibi looks like he’s gonna explode. That would be a beautiful suicide. Dazai Osamu killed by an exploded slug. Huh. What a comedial tombstone he would get.
“Why, Chuuyaaa~ you don’t like me talking abou- mggffrrf!” Chuuya had already slapped his hand over Dazai’s mouth. The Dazai in question had just looked like he thought of something good, judging by the sparkle in his eyes, but maybe embarrassing going off the blush on his (normally) pale face. Either way, something happened, judging from his open, wide, gauging mouth. Even Chuuya didn’t think it was possible to drop your jawline so low, but hey! this is Dazai, and the motherfucker has definitely broken his jaw before.
Both just- stared at eachother. Until Chuuya broke the spell.
“Shut up. Like, right now.”
But ofcourse, because this is Dazai we’re talking about, in a fit of Magnificent Dazainess, as Chuuya calls it (he knows the sparkles are popping of that name), Dazai licks his hand.
Slowly, one braincell at a time Chuuya’s brain catches up to what Dazai just did, before whisper screaming. “WHAT THE FUCK.” And almost (he was very much thinking about it) cutting his hands off, and just- throwing them somewhere. Not a good plan now that he thought about it.
“Whaaaatt~? Also don’t like my tongue? You’re hard to please Chuuya~”
“I don’t like your- anything really. Now fuck off with that freaky shit.”
“Oya~? What do I need to change so that my slug will like meee~? I’m sooo lonely without my dearest slug~”
“Literally everything. Also, I’m not your property.”
“Hmm.. nope! Not gonna do that~!”
Chuuya sighs. Today is not a new record, but it is getting close to that. 13 sighs more and it’s an new record. Really, the amount of mental strength it takes to deal with Dazai more than enough already.
“Mackerel, shouldn’t we go check the other rooms?” (cages rather.)
“If you won’t shake every 0.39 seconds and your breathing becomes irrational AND your heartbeat pumps 7 times faster every second, then sure.”
“How- you know what, sure. I won’t overreact when I see something that has also happened to me. Now get a fucking move-on, or else you will be the slug.”
“Yay, chibi is back to normal! I was just sooo worried he’d never come back~”
And as they saw more, and more of what happened in this lab, the less faith Chuuya got that there were any survivors in this orphanage- no, lab.
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The seventeenth room, in the second row, was occupied by a pink-haired girl, who also looked around 4, had- horns in her hair? But she was alive, the first one out of this lab anyway. (how many had died before they came here?) As Chuuya fiddled with the locks on the vent, Dazai kept an ear out for any doctor or scientist to come.
As Chuuya finally got the lock off of the vent, he initially wanted to jump down until Dazai tapped consecutively for 3 seconds.
Translation: someone’s coming.
After waiting for a few seconds, the walking went the other direction.
Chuuya jumped down as silent as possible, then walked up to the girl.
As the girl turned around she looked like she wanted to scream, but had no vocal cords to do so. Like a mouth that can’t scream.
In a hushed tone Chuuya spoke up. “I’m not here to hurt you, but can you stay quiet for two minutes, please?”