Work Text:
The sun hung low over the flat New Mexican planes surrounding the BLU base. As it sank away, pushed out of place by the approaching night, it drew the blazing warmth it had baked into the land away with it. Leaving the atmosphere a moderate climate, teetering between arid day and polar night. The only life to be found around the grounds of the base—aside from stray desert creatures and the soft sounds of radio seeping from Sniper’s RV as he prepared to turn in for the night—was on the front porch.
It was a small rickety thing, but it had held up well through the years, on it rested an old, rusted and worn swinging bench. Really, it was a miracle it was managing to hold the weight of its two current residents.
Engineer lay on his back, head cushioned by his folded arm. His right leg dangled off the edge of the bench, just barely long enough to sway himself in a repetitive motion, the chains of the chair squealing in protest with every movement. On top of Engi’s chest lay Scout. He wasn’t usually the type to stay still for so long, but the day’s battle wore heavy on him, enough so to convince him to still long enough to enjoy a peaceful moment with the Texan.
All things considered this was the most relaxed Scout had found himself in a decently long while. Engi was pleasantly warm and soft, staving off the approaching chill of the desert night. The smooth metal of his gunslinger laid with reassuring weight on the back of Scout’s neck. He could hear Engineer’s über-charged heart beat at a loud, yet steady pace from where he had his ear against Engi’s chest and Engi’s electrical cord tail rubbed soothing circles into the back of Scout’s powder blue work shirt.
“Ay, Engi. Why do ya gotta tail?” Scout spoke up suddenly, his speech slurred by his thick accent and the fact that he hadn’t bothered to move his face from where it was squashed against Engineer’s overalls.
“Well,” Engineer chuckled briefly, “I don’t see why not. I modified my body once and it worked out mighty fine,” he tapped the metal fingers of his gunslinger against the flesh of Scout’s neck in a gentle reminder, “I don’t see why not to do it again.”
“Nah, nah. I know yah do weird crap tah yourself cuz you’re a loon,” Engineer whacked Scout lightly over the head with the plug at the end of his tail for the rude phrasing, “I just mean, why a tail? A robo hand feels natural for a guy dat spends alla his time buildin’ crap, but a tail?”
“Well, for one thing it ain’t a “robo hand,” it’s an enhanced prosthetic,” Engi explained, earning only an eye roll from Scout.
“And for another thing, son, having a tail is mighty useful, I remember thinkin’ to myself all the darn time that I could really use another hand. One that had better reach then the stubby little thangs I already had, too. So I figured instead’a turning myself into some sorta circus freak with a third, unnaturally long arm sticking out my chest a tail would fix my issue and look rather nice too.”
Scout seemed to chew on that answer for a second, his brows knitting in slight confusion. Only the rhythmic screeching of the bench cutting through the choir of nocturnal desert bugs filled the gap in conversation.
“But,” Scout started, “I thought dat tails were meant tah help wit balance an crap.” Scout shifted to rest his chin on Engi’s chest to look at him more directly, peering into the dark lenses of his welding goggles for an answer. Usually Scout wasn’t much for voicing his confusion, especially to the rest of the team, but he knew when he was alone with Engi he could ask any question without fear of judgement.
“Ah, you ain’t wrong there, Jackrabbit, a majority of animals use their tails for balance, like cats, squirrels and even kangaroos. You should ask Slim about it, he’s got some mighty interesting stories about those critters if you get a few drinks in him.” Engi chuckled lightly at the tangent, Scout giving a few snickers of his own. “Anyhow, there are other kinds of tails besides those used for balance, like how horses and cattle use their tails to scare off pests like flies.
Mine is what’s called a prehensile tail. It can grab and hold things and has greater motor function than other types of tails. Most animals with prehensile tails use them for climbing but it functions just as well for my uses, like grabbing and holding tools and weapons.” Engineer explained the concept with a soft smile on his face, pleased that Scout had taken an interest in one of his inventions long enough for Engineer to explain it to him properly.
“Huh, I didn’t know dat,” Scout replied, trailing off as he started considering something.
“Do yah think yah could make’a tail for me? Like one dat could help me balance betta while I’m runnin’?” Scout asked with a hopeful gleam in his eyes.
Engineer couldn’t help but chuckle a little at the boy’s sudden enthusiastic request. “Well, I don’t know ‘bout that son, you’d have to ask Doc.”
“Huh? Why’s dat?” Scout asked, tipping his head slightly to the side.
“Why, because he’s the one who stitched the darn thing into me, a’course.”
“What!?” Scout reeled back in shock, peeling his face away from its spot on Engi’s chest. “Yah mean dat thing is aparta you?! I thought it was just attached to yah belt, like how yah can take your freaky robo hand off!?”
“Again, boy, it’s an enhanced prosthetic, not a robot hand. And, yes, my tail is’a part of me. Medic was more than happy to connect it to my spine and nervous system just like any real tail would be. Really, Jackrabbit, how did you think I was controlling this thing, a remote?” Engi couldn’t help but chuckle a little at Scout’s shock and mild horror.
“I don’t know, man! We all die an come back tah life magically every frickin’ day, I’ve kinda gotten used tah not askin’ questions!” Scout said emphatically. “And man! yah let that sicko touch yah spine!? Yah really are’a loon!” Scout exclaimed, a shutter running down his own spine at the thought of letting Medic rifle through his insides with reckless abandon like that.
“Come now, boy,” Engineer choked out, all but in stitches at Scout’s almost cartoonish fear of the doctor’s eccentricities. “You give the good doctor far less merit than he’s due, for Christ’s sake he brought Sniper back from the dead!”
“No way, it’s alla you otha guys who’re sellin’ him short. I’m positive he could pull off all sorts’a jacked up crap if we cut him any more slack. Like, what if I wake up afta surgery one day tah him throwin’ me off a cliff cuz he hollowed out alla my bones and stitched feathers inta my back tah see if he could make me fly!!” Scout exclaimed with escalating urgency, waving his arms about wildly for emphasis.
At this point Engi couldn’t hold in his giggle fit any longer picturing the ludicrous scenario Scout had concocted, his speech crackling into bright, loud hoots of laughter. “You best not speak too loudly, son, he just might find that idea’a yours brilliant,” Engi squealed between unrestrained peels of laughter.
“It ain’t funny, man!” Scout cried indignantly, slapping Engi lightly on the chest chidingly. “You know he’s a kook betta den anybody!”
“Hase! Herr Engineah! Ze two of you had bettah come inside before you dummkopfs catch a cold!” Medic’s pitchy warble suddenly cut through Engi’s wheezing laughter and the obnoxious squeaking of the swing chains that quivered under Engineer’s shaking shoulders.
At the sudden sound of Medic’s voice Scout startled hard enough to go toppling off of his spot where he laid atop Engi, letting out an embarrassingly girlish yelp as he did. He crashed to the worn planks of the porch in a heap, not in any away aided by Engi’s tail which was wrapped around one of his legs like a lasso in a half hearted attempt to prevent his fall, only managing to keep that leg in Engi’s lap while Scout’s face remained firmly planted in the hard wood of the porch floor.
“My, vhat in ze vorld has gotten into ze both of you?” Medic asked as he stepped forward onto the porch and towards the pair on the swinging bench, allowing the screen door to noisily clatter shut behind him.
“Apologies doctor, me and Scout were just having ourselves a good laugh,” Engineer said through the vestiges of his hearty laughter as he sat up. A hand pressed against his chest to quail the rumble of new giggles threatening to form and his gunslinger pressed to his mouth to hide the grin that still split his face. Meanwhile his tail looped around Scout’s middle, righting him to be sat on Engi’s knee rather than face planted into the floor.
“Yeah, maybe you more den me, Hard hat,” Scout spat without malice as he rubbed at his face.
“I have not seen you zhis giddy in a vhile herr Engineer,” Medic said with a soft giggle of his own, Engi’s laughter contagious. “Regardless you can carry on your giddiness inside vhere you are much less likely to catch cold, same to you junge.”
“Ah, I s’ppose you’re right, Doc. It’s about time to hit the hay anyhow, git along now, little doggie,” Engi said, swatting playfully at Scout’s arm to get him to rise from his seat on Engineer’s knee.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m goin’ I’m goin’,” Scout said with a yawn as he stretched wide as he stood, Engineer following close behind.
“Good, come along zhen,” Medic said with a gleeful smile, gesturing for the two to follow as he approached the base door.
Engineer chuckled softly one last time as he trailed behind the doctor, musing just loud enough for Scout to hear, “He may be a kook but at least he’s a considerate one.”