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Part 1 of the air i breathe in a room empty of you
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2016-09-15
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1/1
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Parfum

Summary:

It's not like Kaoru is interested in guys or anything, but the sudden change in Souma's scent is too interesting for Kaoru not to dwell on.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

spring: when the weather becomes warmer, leaves and plants start to grow again and flowers appear; a reprieve from winter often seen as a new beginning or a fresh start; the season in which pollen allergies arise and flower petals greet you everywhere you go

signature fragrances include: floral scents of any and all kinds, anything soft and subtle; you may not be able to smell due to allergies, but remember that a perfume should be discovered, not announced

-

Kaoru smirks. He's figured it out. He's finally figured out what has been irking him for the past hour that the Marine Biology Club has been meeting. He knew something was off, and it is unbelievably satisfying to finally put his wandering thoughts to rest.

“Souma-kun smells nice today,” he says, completely unable to wipe the stupid smirk off his face. “You're wearing girl's perfume today, aren't you? Did you manage to find a girl willing to put up with you?”

“How dare you assume that I'm as frivolous as you! I don't have any interest in girls right now. I have more important things to occupy my time with,” Souma says indignantly. He crosses his arms. “My scent is none of your business.”

“You've chosen a wonderful fragrance for spring,” Kaoru says, almost as if Souma hadn't said anything at all. He leans towards Souma, closing his eyes and breathing in. “A nice blend of apples and... daisies, I believe.”

“It's none of your business!” Souma snaps, nearly stumbling backwards. When he catches himself, he instead walks straight past Kaoru and stands next to Kanata at the tanks.

It's not like Kaoru is interested in guys or anything, but the sudden change in Souma's scent is too interesting for Kaoru not to dwell on. Over the few and far between visits, Kaoru's grown used to Souma's shampoo and his natural scent. He never thought Souma to be the type to wear cologne, so he assumed Souma's house must smell like a strange mixture of incense and fabric softener.

So perhaps Souma has only just begun to dabble in the art of cologne and accidentally picked up a girl's perfume instead. He supposes it's an easy mistake to make if you just ignore the fact that the bottle is probably girly and cute, with flowery motifs and maybe even glitter on the label. But maybe it was a glorious mistake. The scent works very well on Souma; Kaoru doesn't really know how to explain it, but some scents just work on people. If Kaoru were to see Souma on the street and walk past him only to be left with a lingering scent, he would most definitely think about it throughout the day and agree that it is the best possible scent he could have picked out for this season and occasion.

Kaoru shakes his head. He's musing too much. A note from his phone alerts him that there's at least one girl that's willing to hang out with him right now, and that sure beats sitting in a room that smells like a mixture of fish and daisies. So he sneaks out of the room and sets off down the hall. If he wants to smell a perfume so badly, he'll just come again tomorrow.

-

As Kaoru walks in to the Marine Biology Club room for the second day in a row, Souma is so shocked that he doesn't even draw his sword. He stands frozen a few feet from the door, and Kaoru heads straight for him to see if he's still wearing that same delicious scent.

“Lavender is still a girl's scent, Souma-kun,” Kaoru says. “Do you need me to show you what scents are for men? Or is this something else? If you wanted to go shopping with me, you should have just asked, you know.”

“Why would I want to do that?!” Souma shouts. It's nice to see that he's finally found his voice. “Did you attend today only to comment on my scent? That's insulting! President--” He cuts himself off as he scans the room. Kanata is nowhere to be found. Souma narrows his eyes, hand flying to the handle of his sword. “Disgrace, tell me what should stop me from slaying you right here and now?”

Kaoru glances downward for a beat before meeting Souma's violet eyes again. “Well, I have a date today, so I'd rather not have blood all over my clothes for that. Leaves a bad impression, you know.”

“You can't go on a date if you're dead!”

“I'm absolutely offended that you are disregarding the activities of my deceased ancestors. My great-grandfather is still a ladies' man, I'm sure.” Kaoru finally breaks eye contact, letting his gaze wander to one of the tanks. “Don't you have some fish to be feeding?”

“Shinkai-dono has forbidden me from feeding the fish without him around,” Souma says, the slightest hint of disappointment in his voice. “He says I don't know enough about them to feed them myself.”

“So, why don't you get a fish of your own to feed? I'm sure there's an empty tank lying around here somewhere, and Kanata-kun can't tell you what to do if it's your own fish.” Kaoru strolls over to one of the tanks. A lone fish is swimming around, weaving in and out of the plants. “This guy seems lonely, so you can probably get him a friend. Or is he one of those fish that puffs out real big?” He taps a few times on the glass, but the fish doesn't respond.

“That's a piranha!” Souma says matter-of-factly. “There used to be other fish in that tank, but Shinkai-dono decided that it would be better to let the piranha eat them instead. So now, we go out and catch the small fish in the shallows of the ocean and release them into this tank for the piranha to feed off of.”

“So... no fish friends?”

“Are you that dense?!”

-

summer: the hottest of the four seasons, where the days are longest and the nights are shortest; where the heat is unbearable when you're bored and enjoyable when you sit at the beach; the season in which nights are filled with fireworks, friends, and laughter

signature fragrances include: coconut, banana, any type of citrus; good luck finding something to mask the sunscreen

-

The hot sand greets Kaoru like an old friend, and he honestly can't believe how frequently he's been attending Marine Biology Club meetings for the past month or so. Every single day, he's been greeted with a fresh new scent from Souma, and every single day, he's managed to correctly identify it. With all the time Souma spends being a diligent, loyal student, club member, and idol, Kaoru's been wondering where Souma finds the time to buy a new fragrance every day. He's never seen any for sale at the school store, and he doubts Souma stops at the department store after school. He guesses it's just one of Souma's many mysterious qualities. Like how Souma has slowly stopped calling him a disgrace of the Marine Biology Club ever since he started actually showing up.

Speaking of which, he's only at the beach today because Kanata invited him to a “club outing.” And, well, Kaoru would have gone to the beach anyway to talk to girls and surf. That's just what he does during the summer. Girls see him with a surfboard and want to talk to him, so he'll usually end up taking her on a mini-date. Something small, like demonstrating his expert skill of catching sand crabs or letting her float with him on his board as he paddles them both out. But he supposes it would be good for him to spend some time with friends once in a while.

He finds Kanata and Souma standing in a spot where the saltwater periodically laps at their feet, and there are a few buckets planted in the dry sand a little farther away from them. It's strange; mid-afternoon, yet hardly anyone else is on the beach. It's the first day of summer vacation, so usually the beach is swarming with people. Or students, at least.

“It's Kaoru!” Kanata says happily, his singsong voice seeming to lure the waves in.

Souma spins around, hair following him like a ribbon. Kaoru expects Souma's usual scent—well, as usual as a daily scent can be—to greet him. Something flowery and pretty, like a girl. But instead, the strong smell of sunscreen floods his nose. The smell is chemical and unnatural for the most part, as sunscreen usually is, but there's also an underlying scent of coconut and, if Kaoru concentrates hard enough, he can even still smell Souma's shampoo under all of it.

“Hakaze-dono, I'm surprised you came,” Souma says. “I thought you wouldn't, so I almost didn't make a lunch for you. I changed my mind at the last second.”

“Thanks,” Kaoru says, but it comes out more like a question than a response. He expects someone to tell him what they're actually supposed to be doing here, but no one says anything, and they all just stand there and let the waves make all the noise. “So what are the buckets for?”

“Did you even listen to anything during the last meeting? That is shameful! Shinkai-dono deserves an apology right away! Right now, in seiza—”

“It's okay!” Kanata interrupts abruptly. “We're catching 'small' fish today. I have 'nets' too...” Kanata trails off. His mouth hangs open as if he needs to say something else, but it seems to escape him as the tide rolls back into the ocean. As Kanata turns away from them to face the ocean and sits down on the wet sand, Souma bows and shouts out a “yessir!”

It's... kind of cute. But Kaoru isn't interested in guys, so maybe he should keep his mouth shut.

He follows Souma at a much slower pace to grab a bucket and start wading into the ocean. Honestly, how can he be so excited to just be doing Kanata's chores? It's common knowledge that Kanata can't swim, so Souma should at least know that Kanata's part of beach activities is always going to be some sort of supervision role. But Souma's the complete opposite of Kaoru; maybe the only reason Kaoru doesn't understand is because they contrast so starkly. Kaoru's bothered by rules and schedules and being told what to do, but it appears that Souma strives off of them.

The water is cool, and Kaoru wants to wade further into it until he's almost completely underwater. The ocean is always such a refreshing escape. It's wild and free, and part of the reason Kaoru started surfing was to try and grasp some of that freedom. Oh, and surfers are constantly surrounded by women, so that's a huge plus, too.

Kaoru stands a couple feet away from Souma and dunks his bucket underwater. He pulls it back up, significantly heavier with all the water in it, and peers inside. Absolutely nothing, unless the sand particles count. He glances over at Souma. Souma's much faster than him. As soon as he pulls the bucket back up, he scans the water and almost immediately submerges it again. Well. At least he knows that Souma is having the same amount of bad luck. Kaoru glances over at Kanata. He's not watching them at all; instead he's scooting closer to the water and playing with the wet sand.

“Souma-kun,” Kaoru says, “I know a place where we can catch more things.”

“Really?” Souma asks, straightening up. “Let's go! This is the most enthusiasm I've ever seen from you about club activities!”

Kaoru just barely refrains from rolling his eyes; he's hardly excited. In fact, if a girl walked up to them right now and started talking to Kaoru, Kaoru would probably sneak off with her in a heartbeat. He hears Souma splashing behind him as he walks a little farther down the shore.

He crouches down near the wet sand. “Watch and learn, okay?”

“Y-Yes!” Souma says, a little too loudly, before kneeling next to Kaoru.

It's a tricky process, catching sand crabs, but it can be done with enough practice and technique. Kaoru waits for the wave to ebb away and studies the sand for the small shape of a crab's antennae. Instead, the first thing he sees is a small hole. Usually, it's easiest to look for the antennae, but occasionally Kaoru will see the hole a sand crab just dug instead, and it's easier to pinpoint the exact spot of the crab.

It's fast work. Kaoru has to dig a larger hold in the sand before the waves come back in in order to find the sand crab in time. This one, with the hole, is slow and easy to find. He grabs it up with a practiced hand and triumphantly holds it up to Souma.

Souma stares at it, eyes filled with wonder. “Wow! That was amazing, Hakaze-dono! And here I was, thinking that you did not know even the slightest thing about marine life! Now, I will try!”

Souma's eyes narrow slightly as he starts searching the sand. His eyes widen, glimmering, when he sees the tiny v-shape of a crab's antennae. He quickly sets to work on digging for the crab and, as soon has he sees it, his hands fly out to grasp it. However, the crab ends up digging another hole, and the wave camouflages it. Souma tries three more times, each unsuccessfully, before Kaoru finally decides to take pity on him.

He helps Souma dig the next hole. “The trick is to start digging as soon as you can see the sand,” he says. When the crab reveals itself, Kaoru snatches it. He grabs Souma's wrist and carefully places the crab on his palm. “I'll let you take credit for this one,” he adds, with a wink.

Wait. Did he just wink at Souma?

But Souma doesn't see it, so it doesn't count. He's too busy looking at the crab, so it doesn't count. Souma's a boy, and Kaoru's not interested in boys, so it doesn't count.

Souma places the crab in his bucket. “Thank you, Hakaze-dono! I have learned more about the technique of catching sand crabs, so I'll take it from here!”

As the next wave ebbs away, Kaoru watches Souma start digging in the sand with a whole new vigor. Kaoru didn't even think it was possible for Souma to work any harder. It's a bit funny watching Souma scramble to catch the crab, and it almost slips through his fingers at first, but he catches it with his other hand just as the wave refills the hole. And a smile explodes on his face as he holds his hand out to Kaoru exclaiming 'Hakaze-dono, I did it!' and Kaoru can smell a sweet mix of saltwater and coconutty sunscreen. And he almost can't breathe, and his heart is racing.

“Good job,” Kaoru says. And he stands suddenly because Souma's scent is going to suffocate him. And he plucks the crabs from his own bucket and plops them in Souma's. “Take care of them for me, okay?”

And he walks away before he can hear Souma's protests, but it's not like he could have heard them if he was closer because of the deafening sound of his own heartbeat. And maybe Kaoru should have just stayed home, right?

(And maybe Kaoru should have just stuck around at the beach because he ignored all three of Souma's calls when he got home, and maybe the embarrassment would have been more bearable than the lecture he had to endure the next time they met.)

-

autumn: the third season of the year, when crops and fruits are gathered and leaves fall; also called “fall,” perhaps because of the falling leaves or the colorful scenery causing people to fall in love easily; the season where it starts to cool down, and sweaters and pumpkin-flavored drinks are a must

signature fragrances include: cinnamon, pumpkin, any sort of fresh scent; your perfume should help you feel warmer

-

Kaoru yawns as he absentmindedly scrolls through his Twitter feed. It's quite boring being the first member to arrive at the clubroom. He can only watch the fish swim back and forth so many times, and Kaoru would just be a damn liar if he said that he came to be thoroughly entertained by the fish alone. He knows he comes for more important reasons than that. Like delaying going home or watching Kanata's antics or teasing Souma. Especially teasing Souma.

“Hakaze-dono!”

Speak of the Devil.

“I apologize, Hakaze-dono,” Souma says, bowing, “but Shinkai-dono has canceled the club meeting for today.”

Kaoru shrugs, shouldering his bag and standing up. “It happens.”

Souma stays hovered in the doorway, brows furrowed, looking like he has something more to add. He clenches his fists. “The weather is nice today,” he blurts, and it's glaringly obvious that it's not what he meant to say.

“I'm glad,” Kaoru says. He approaches the doorway, expecting Souma to move. But he doesn't. And as Kaoru gets closer, he can smell the delicious scent of cinnamon. Perhaps Souma has been baking something. Or is it possible a new perfume? It's the first fall scent he's smelled on Souma, and it's a nice break from the summer scents that always seemed to be mixed with a hint of sunscreen. He meets Souma's eyes, and he can't stop the next words to tumble out of his mouth.

“Are you free today?”

Souma doesn't answer immediately, and Kaoru's wondering if he should try and turn it into some sort of joke. He shouldn't have said that; he's not interested in guys! But Souma parts his lips, and Kaoru's heart speeds up and comes to a screeching halt when he realizes it.

He isn't interested in guys. Not at all. He's just interested in Souma.

“Yes,” Souma says. “I'm free until later this evening.”

“Then, let's go,” Kaoru says. He brushes past Souma, and the moment where their shoulders touch seems to last forever. Because all Kaoru can feel is static electricity, and he can only think of how much he really does love the smell of cinnamon.

-

The two wander aimlessly down the aisle of a shopping center, peering in various windows with no real rhyme or reason. It's strange, to say the least. Seeing Souma in a setting that doesn't relate to school or unit activities or the Marine Biology Club. He looks about as normal as someone like Souma can look.

The cool weather pushes Kaoru to slip his hands into his pockets. In a way, it's a blessing. Maybe he'll look more nonchalant, and passersby won't even think twice about them walking together. Well, they probably wouldn't anyway. It's just Kaoru blowing things out of proportion, probably. Even Souma, who sees through everything Kaoru does, hasn't caught on.

But Kaoru should tell him. It would just be unfair not to. Souma should know so that he can react appropriately. So Kaoru won't get his hopes up if there's nothing there to be excited about.

“So,” Kaoru says. “What's up with the perfume thing? Since that first day in spring, you've been wearing something new every day. Why?”

“Do you not like it?” Souma asks almost too quickly. Or maybe Kaoru's reading into things too much.

Kaoru shrugs. “At first, I thought you just didn't know the difference between girls' scents and guys' scents, but now I think you're doing it on purpose.”

Souma stops. He turns to face Kaoru. “But do you not like it?”

Kaoru stops as well. He raises an eyebrow. “What do you mean? You haven't worn a bad scent yet, so I would say that you have a pretty good streak so far.”

“So you do like it?”

“Well, yes.”

Souma's quiet for a while, and it feels like everything is completely silent, even if a few groups of people are still milling about around them. Kaoru's about to face forward again, to drop the question and keep walking, when Souma finally seems to summon the courage to answer.

“To answer your question,” Souma says, “I originally started wearing the perfumes to deter you. I thought that wearing a different perfume every day would make it hard for you to identify me, and since you appear to despise me sometimes, I thought it would ruin the perfumes of girls for you. Which, I admit, is a terribly rude and shameful thing to do.” Souma sighs, and he finally looks up at Kaoru. “I apologize for that. But then you started attending club meetings, and somewhere along the line, wearing a new fragrance every day just turned into habit. It didn't seem to deter you, but at that point, it seemed strange to stop. So tell me, Hakaze-dono, does it bother you?”

Souma finally meets Kaoru's eyes, and his eyes look so wide an innocent that, if he were a girl, Kaoru would have snatched him up in that instant. And it's like instinct takes over, and he can't be gentle with Souma anymore. His hand reaches out to rest on the wall beside Souma's head, and he leans in so close that he can feel Souma's breath, almost, and the scent of cinnamon overpowers even the scent of a nearby smoker.

“Actually,” Kaoru says, in a low, dangerous voice he typically reserves for at least the third date, “it makes me want to chase you even more, Souma-kun.”

Time freezes.

“Because I... I like you.”

Did I really just say that?

Time resumes as soon as Souma stutters out, “I-I have to go.”

And Kaoru's left standing alone, with no lovely scent of cinnamon to warm him up.

-

winter: the coldest season of the year; filled with snowball fights and rosy cheeks and hot chocolate; side effects include the winter blues, where you find yourself in a rut, or winter fever, where you find yourself desperately wanting someone to keep you warm during the cold months

signature fragrances include: peppermint, vanilla, sugar cookies, and candy apples; perhaps your fragrance won't even matter this season. you might be wrapped up in someone else's embrace.

-

Kaoru rubs his frozen hands together, bringing them up to his face to puff warm air on them. He's been waiting in front of this café for about twenty minutes, and he wouldn't be surprised if he's just been stood up. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen, and Kaoru's learned to accept it.

What he hasn't accepted, however, is how Souma won't talk to him much anymore. After his sudden confession that autumn evening, it's been awkward. Kaoru doesn't know how to apologize or if he should apologize, and Souma just hasn't given a proper response. He's started wearing the same scents for longer, though, sticking to the same cinnamon for two weeks before switching to a different spice for a week. Kaoru ended up reducing his attendance levels again, limiting himself to about once a week. Which is fine. Because Souma doesn't talk to him any more than he has to, and Kaoru's alright with only being terribly flustered once a week.

Kaoru finally decides to just go home. It's the last place he wants to be, but he really has nowhere else to go. He's not motivated enough to try and talk to some girls at the arcade. Not when he's just been thinking about Souma, anyway. It's kind of irritating. He's not even supposed to like guys. He was supposed to stop liking Souma when he didn't get a positive response to his confession, but he still finds himself secretly attending every single live Akatsuki has had, even if only to watch Souma perform. He has a magical sort of grace and elegance that no girl could replicate.

Kaoru shakes his head. No, no. He can't keep thinking about Souma like this. It's rude, probably. Souma surely thinks he's weird now. Kaoru doesn't blame him. Getting a confession just after explaining that you were trying to deter someone must be weird as hell.

He's halfway out of the shopping plaza when luck seems to have completely abandoned him. He sees Souma in front of a shop window, and Kaoru briefly wonders if this is the same shop the confession took place in front of. No, it couldn't have been.

“Souma-kun,” he says, going against any sliver of sense he might have had and walking up to the boy.

Souma spins around, and Kaoru's greeted with the undeniably wintery scent of peppermint. Souma's cheeks are flushed, and while Kaoru wishes that it'd be because of him, it has to be because of the cold. Right?

“Hakaze-dono,” Souma says, and he reaches for, presumably, his sword, only to find nothing. Souma without his sword? Now that's a sight.

“I'm sorry,” Kaoru says without a moment of any more hesitation. “For liking you, I mean. You don't like guys, right? It was probably weird for you.”

“Don't apologize! You are not at fault for anything. If anything, I should be apologizing for running away for the past few weeks.” Souma rubs his hands together, much like Kaoru had been doing previously. “So, I apologize. I also apologize for never giving you a proper response.”

“'S fine. I just assumed the feeling isn't mutual, so it's fine.” Kaoru shrugs. “You don't need to say anything.”

“Well, you shouldn't assume things!” Souma snaps, and Kaoru feels some tension that he didn't even realize was in his shoulders start to ebb away. It's refreshing to hear Souma yell at him again, as strange as it sounds.

Kaoru lets a laugh slip out without even realizing it. He's not laughing at Souma, more at himself for finding the sound of someone yelling at him refreshing! He'd never thought he'd think that; not in a million years! “S-Sorry!” he gets out in between laughs. “I'm not laughing at you. You've just been so cute lately that I – it's just weird to hear you yell at me!”

“You don't get it, do you?” Souma crosses his arms. “I'm yelling at you for assuming the feeling isn't mutual. Have you ever stopped to consider how I might feel about you, Hakaze-dono?”

The statement makes Kaoru immediately stop laughing. For as much as he's thought about Souma not liking him back, he's never once considered that Souma might actually return the feeling. He tilts his head. “I don't understand.”

“I'm trying to tell you that I like you, too!” Souma huffs. “Sorry. That was a harsh way of--”

“You do?”

Souma... Souma likes Kaoru, too? Kaoru feels his heart start skipping beats. Really? This is such a brand new feeling. He expected it to be like when girls say that they like him, and Kaoru smirks and kisses them and sends them on their merry ways. But with Souma it's different. He wants to grab Souma's hand and run off to that little café and buy him anything he wants and just talk about how in love they are.

“I can't believe this! You like me, too. This is great. This is wonderful!” Kaoru reaches out, like he wants to grab Souma and kiss him right there. But that'd be wrong. Souma would try and stab him. And besides, Souma's probably not even kissed anyone yet, so he probably doesn't want to waste his first kiss. “May I...?”

But Souma does the rest. He completes the gap between them, throwing his arms around Kaoru and hugging him tight. And now Souma's so close that Kaoru can smell his shampoo even over the peppermint. And they stay like that for a long while, until a few snowflakes drift down from the sky and land in Souma's hair, and it takes every ounce of self-control for Kaoru not to kiss them away.

Not yet, anyway.

Notes:

twitter: @izumakos
i'm scared to post this bc all of the kaosou so far is really great, so i hope this is worthy enough to be posted OTL
thank you for reading!

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