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“I am fine,” Odin said angrily, “I do NOT need a babysitter!”
“Of course you are,” Frigga said, “It’s perfectly normal for you to fall while walking down the hall, you do it all time”.
Odin glared at her.
“I told you a million times, I tripped!” he groused, “I think it was one of Loki’s tricks.”
Frigga didn’t take the bait, ignoring his comment about Loki.
“I just want to be sure.” She put her hand on his chest over his heart as she continued, “Your Odinsleep was interrupted, and I don’t want you to go back into it when no one is here.”
Odin placed his hand over hers.
“If you insist,” he said, “I suppose Thor can stay here with me.”
“No,” Frigga said, moving away from him and picking up a basket, “Thor and Loki are going to Jotunheim to try to improve relations and lay the groundwork for negotiating a trade agreement, and I have to go to Vanaheim; Freyja said she needed to speak to me, and it couldn’t wait.”
“Jane?” Odin said hopefully. He didn’t particularly care for either of his daughters-in-law, but out of the two, he was more comfortable with Jane – he didn’t understand Darcy, who was constantly in motion, and never seemed to just sit down for more than a few seconds.
“Jane is on Midgard, working with Dr. Selvig on the artifact that they found the other week,” Frigga answered, walking to the door.
“Don’t say Darcy,” Odin groaned.
“Yes, it will be Darcy, and you will be nice,” Frigga admonished him, “You’ve never really given her a chance.”
“She’ll be in the library, meet her there when you are ready.”
He opened his mouth to say something, but Frigga kissed him goodbye and left the room before he could answer. He stared after her for a moment, then shook his head and began to prepare to spend the day with Darcy.
“Are you ready, Loki?” Thor asked as he and Frigga mounted their horses, ready to leave for the Bifrost and their respective destinations.
“In a minute,” Loki answered.
“You’re sure about this?" Loki asked Darcy, "We don’t have to go, we can postpone the trip until after Mother comes back.”
Darcy, who looked a little pale to him, shrugged as she answered, “Of course….after all, what’s the worst that can happen?”
Loki looked askance at her, and she rolled her eyes.
“Seriously, Loki, everything will be fine. Heimdall is here if there is an emergency, and so will the ten billion Einherjar roaming around the city and palace.”
“Go!” she said when he still stood there, hesitant to leave.
He turned to walk away, and she said, “If he turns me into a small animal you’ll make sure I get food, water and exercise every day, right?”
“That isn’t funny,” he retorted as he got onto his horse.
“Make good choices!” Darcy said as the three of them turned and started to ride away.
“Bad choices make good stories,” Loki answered.
Darcy smiled, her smile quickly falling as he rode out of sight.
“Here goes nothing,” she said as she walked back to the palace.
Darcy sat in a chair across from Odin in the library, pretending to read a thick book on…she looked at the open book and realized she wasn’t sure what it was about.
She was bored. Darcy had never been one to sit quietly – she always needed to be moving around, talking, annoying Loki…the list was endless.
She closed the book and put it aside, staring at the All-Father. She cleared her throat. No reaction. She drummed her fingers on the desk next to her. No reaction. Desperate, she began to hum a popular Midgardian – Earth, she corrected herself – pop song.
Odin finally looked up at her, his agitation obvious.
“Can you not sit still?” he asked.
“Can we go do something else?”
“No,” Odin answered, returning to his book.
Darcy loved a challenge – and winning over Odin was certainly a challenge – but she was determined to get along with him, so she tried to read again, but couldn’t concentrate.
Keep your mouth shut, Darcy, keep your mouth shut, she repeated to herself over and over.
“You don’t like me very much, do you?” she asked before she could stop herself.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“You’re mortal”, he answered, as if that was perfectly obvious.
He kept his attention on the book throughout their conversation, although he hadn’t turned a page since she had interrupted him the first time.
Keep your mouth shut, Darcy. Keep your mouth shut.
“You need to get over it,” she found herself saying, “You do realize that both of your daughters-in-law are mortal, right?”
If she was going to get turned into a small animal, she might as well make sure it was worth it.
“Do you ever stop talking?”
“Rude”, Darcy muttered under her breath.
“Did you say something?”
“Nope.”
A few minutes later, noticing she was still fidgeting, Odin gave a long-suffering sigh and closed his book.
“What would you like to do, Darcy?” he asked.
“Have you ever seen the Lord of the Rings movies? You kind of remind me of a character in them…you’re sort of a one-eyed Gandalf.”
“If I watch this…movie…with you, will you let me read in peace?”
“I will, I promise,” Darcy said. “I will even pinky-swear.”
“I don’t want to know what ‘pinky-swear’ means,” Odin answered before asking, “How do you propose we watch a movie here in Asgard? We don’t exactly have…what do you mortals call them? Blu-Ray players?”
“We can take the Bifrost to Earth - Midgard – and then watch them at my apartment!”
She jumped up and smiled at him, continuing, “It will be great. You can meet our cats, I can make some popcorn, and we can eat chocolate and drink soda…typical movie-watching stuff.”
“I can’t wait,” he said, his tone only slightly sarcastic..
…and that was how Odin Borson, the All-Father, found himself sitting in a Midgardian apartment that he could have fit into his palace ten times, his fingers covered in butter and a soda stain on his robes, watching Lord of the Rings movies with Darcy Lewis-Odinson.
He had to admit, he thought, looking over at her as she watched the movie, she was, as the Midgardians said, “growing on him". Frigga was right, he had never really spent much time with her, or given her a chance…but he was actually enjoying himself (not that he would ever admit it to anyone else). He sat back and relaxed as he got involved in the movie. He told her he didn’t really think he looked like this ‘Gandalf’ character, but she just made a – snorting? – sound and ignored him.
He liked The Fellowship of the Ring, and was able to tolerate The Two Towers…but by the time they got to The Return of the King, he would have given anything to return to Asgard.
“Do you think Thor and Loki will be back soon?” he asked hopefully.
“Lady Darcy and the AllFather are not here,” Heimdall said as Thor and Loki stepped out of the Bifrost.
“What?” Loki said, “Why…why not? Where are they?”
Heimdall was trying to maintain his normally stoic expression, but the corners of his lips were twitching as he answered, “I believe Lady Darcy said something about ‘watching a movie’? It seemed safe enough, so I let them go.”
“We never should have left the two of them alone,” Loki said, “One or both of them is probably dead right now.”
Thor rolled his eyes.
“Stop being overly dramatic, Loki. I’m sure everything is fine. Darcy is more than capable of holding her own against Father.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Loki muttered.
“Heimdall, send us to Midgard, but a fair distance from Loki and Darcy’s abode….just in case we need to take drastic measures to save Darcy,” Thor said.
“I am NOT overly dramatic!” Loki protested as Heimdall opened the Bifrost.
Thor nodded, pretending to agree, as he gave Loki a slight push into the portal.
Distracting Loki by getting him angry was so easy, it was almost no fun.
“Well,” Loki said, motioning towards the street, “Are you coming?”
Thor looked at Mjolnir, then looked at Loki.
“No. Absolutely not! I told you before I was never going to do that again,” Loki protested, taking a step back.
“It will be faster than walking, brother,” Thor said.
“I don’t care. Last time, you dropped me.”
"It was only that one time, Loki...and besides, it wasn't very far."
"No."
“This is embarrassing,” Loki said a few moments later, as Thor held him close with one arm and used Mjolnir to fly them to their destination with the other.
“Relax, Loki. No one can see us, we are going too fast,” Thor said.
“I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” Loki answered, “They have done amazing things with cell phones and cameras the last few years, they can capture a lot of things they couldn’t years before.”
“You should lay off of the puddings, brother. You are heavier than you were before,” Thor said, adjusting his grip on Loki.
Loki was silent the rest of the short flight to the apartment he shared with Darcy.
Loki opened the door and rushed into the apartment, Thor close behind him, ready for battle…then stopped, unable to believe his eyes.
Darcy and the All-Father were sitting together on the hideous plaid couch that Darcy refused to get rid of, even though it clashed with the rest of their furniture– it was ‘vintage’ she said, which Loki thought was human for either “I want to keep an ugly couch” or “I know you hate it so I want to keep it just to annoy you”.
Odin was sitting at one end, their cat, Loki, sound asleep on his lap. Darcy was sitting on the other end, simultaneously engrossed in her laptop and watching whatever was playing on the television…which was currently The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King.
“Loki! Thor!” Darcy said over her shoulder, “Did you know that there’s a video of you and Thor flying together, Thor holding you tight, on YouTube? It has over one million views, and you’re trending!”
“I hate you,” Loki said to Thor, who grinned.
Odin looked at the two of them, an “I’m so glad you’re here, save me” look on his face. He jumped up, making the cat very unhappy, and put the afghan on the couch.
“I am glad you are here – Frigga has returned, and Heimdall told me she needs me back at the palace,” he said.
Thor’s brow wrinkled in confusion – Heimdall hadn’t mentioned that Frigga had returned, and how had he communicated with Odin? A raven couldn’t have gotten into the apartment, the cat would have eaten it.
Odin gave him a warning look, so instead, he said “That’s why we’re here, Father, instead of meeting you in Asgard - Heimdall wanted to confirm that you had received his message.”
Odin turned to Darcy, who had paused the movie.
“Thank you, Darcy, for a most…entertaining…day,” he said.
“Do you have to go? We still have to watch the Hobbit movies after this….actually, now that I think about it, we should have watched those first,” she answered.
“I’m afraid so; however, I look forward to seeing you again soon…perhaps we can do something besides watch a movie?”
“That sounds great!” Darcy said, jumping off the couch and hugging him.
Loki froze, uncertain what would happen – the All-Father wasn’t exactly the ‘hugging’ type. Apparently that didn’t apply to Darcy -it was so quick that he would have missed it if he hadn't been paying such close attention - because he saw Odin briefly hug her back.
“He likes you,” he mouthed to Darcy, who was looking at him over Odin’s shoulder.
Darcy finally let go of him, and Odin smiled – a genuine smile, even – at her before nodding at Loki and Thor and walking out the patio door. A few seconds later, the Bifrost opened, and then he was gone.
Darcy groaned.
“That’s going to leave a mark. We’re going to have to pay for that, you know. I don’t think our Renter’s Insurance covers acts of Odin.”
She looked at Thor and Loki and grinned as she said, “Was that the Asgardian version of ‘I hear my mother calling, I’ve got to go?’”
“I believe so,” Loki answered as he walked over and gave her a kiss.
“What exactly did you make him watch, Darcy?” Thor asked.
“The Lord of the Rings movies…he reminds me of a one-eyed Gandalf,” she said, “I’m actually surprised he made it as long as he did…I was almost falling asleep myself. Will he be okay by himself?”
“Mother should actually have returned from Vanaheim by now,” Thor said.
“Regular or Extended?” Loki asked her.
“Extended, of course.”
“Only you could get the All-Father to sit with you for over six hours and eat popcorn – and I think that was a soda stain on his robes? – and watch movies with you,” Loki said, shaking his head fondly.
Darcy just smiled in response.