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Red Crab and Blue Crab sit together in their small hideout in the ocean, holding each other closely. Since the incident, they clutch onto each other tight and don’t let go. They don’t go out for food anymore– they have a large supply of food saved up from many other various endeavors, although no such endeavor had ever shaken them to their core like the incident.
They relive the incident in their minds often. That cage, the other crabs with them who had long since given up on survival, the hands grasping tightly to the bars and the eyes peering in from a different world. There was no light in those eyes. No soul.
Blue Crab has pondered those eyes for a long time since.
“What if that man was also trapped in a cage, just like we were? Maybe he yearned for the same freedom we did, but had no claws with which to break through his cage,” Blue whispers, almost quiet enough to evade Red Crab’s ears.
Red Crab has also pondered the man’s eyes.
“Blue,” Red snaps. “That man hurt us. I saw his empty, soulless eyes. He did not care about us. He didn’t care about anyone. We would’ve been killed if we didn’t have our claws, because that man wanted us dead.”
“Maybe the man will be killed unless he finds his claws.”
“If that’s so, then I pray that he dies searching.”
–
A man sits at the helm of a fishing boat, ushering his crewmates onto the ship as he prepares to go out to sea for another long day of crabbing. It’s been weeks since the incident, and he needs to make today count if he wants to get enough money to pay his employees and buy a new cage to replace the broken one.
He reminisces on the incident often. He saw it happen, felt the crabs slipping through his cold hands as they broke loose from the cage. The determination in their soulful eyes, the red hot anger raging through their claws. He doesn’t tell his crewmates this, but he could have caught those crabs; he let them go because he admired them. If the crabs were strong enough to claw through a steel cage, he thinks, they deserved to be free.
His crewmates have gathered in their places on the boat. The man turns the engine on and heads out of the harbor.
–
Blue Crab releases one of his claws from Red Crab’s grasp to crack open a mussel. He peers through the thick shell to see the inside. Looking at the inside of this shell from the gaze of a higher creature… Once again, he is reminded of the cage. He shakes the thoughts from his mind, and quickly splits it open and lends half of it to his lover.
Red thanks Blue for the meal, and devours it with no hesitation. The hunger that has overcome them both since they have started having to ration their food is overwhelming.
Blue struggles to eat, but he forces it down, lest he become hungry for something else.
They sit not speaking for a while, as they typically do at these odd hours of the day. They usually do not have much to talk about, except yesterday’s dreams, tonight’s dinners, and tomorrow’s weather. The ever-burning passion between them still exists, but it has been hidden behind a mask of fear and doubt.
The silence lingers, but they do not hear this silence. They hear the crash of waves and the clang of metal. They hold each other a little bit tighter.
Finally, Red pipes up.
“You’re still thinking about it, aren’t you, Blue?”
Blue laughs. “I don’t think there’s anything else I can think about.”
“We need to move past it. If you keep thinking about him, you’ll die with him in your mind. He’ll have won.”
“How am I supposed to move past it if I can’t even move?”
Red sighs. “We needn’t move, we have everything here. Most importantly, we have each other,”
“Our food supply dwindles every day, Red. We can’t stay still forever.”
“If you’d like to go out and hunt for food again, be my guest.”
“...”
“That’s what I thought,” Red mutters.
–
As the sun begins to set, the tide lulls. Every fish in the vicinity can hear the ripple of waves crashing in the trail of a fishing boat, headed out to the deep, gelid waters of the Bering Sea. A man’s shipmates are loudly conversing as they wait to reach their destination.
The man, however, is not participating in the conversation. He sits at the wheel, steering (although he is not really steering, because there is only one direction to go: forward.) His face is cold, but he likes it that way, because the numbness it brings also brings with it a feeling of peace.
He has a tendency to let the world pass him by, and it is no different today. However, an intrinsic knowledge deep in his frigid heart tells him that something will happen this time around.
The sound of laughter echoes through the ship, but it does not reach him. He tries to focus, but quickly forgets that goal as the freezing air rushes through his body and temporarily frees him from his cage.
–
It is dark in the icy fortress that Red and Blue have built for themselves, and Red is sound asleep. Blue, however, has not been able to sleep for days. Thoughts race through Blue’s head as he battles with his mind to keep his eyes closed.
His mind wins, and he looks over at Red. He tries to look with all of the love in his heart, but he must have run out, because he feels nothing.
Blue Crab slowly loosens the grip on his mate. Once he realizes what he’s doing, he lets go completely.
The sensation that runs through his head is terrifying. He can’t do this. He thinks fondly of the times that he and Red shared. Those beautiful, beady eyes. All of the passionate nights they’d had together. Blue would be lost without his lover.
He can’t go through with it.
Still, he leaves his claws where they are, separated from Red’s grip.
Blue attempts to continue thinking fondly of his lover, but his ever-antagonistic mind conjures images of anger and ignorance. Red has never fully seen him, he thinks. He used to accept Red’s frenetic behavior, even love him for it, but now it just irritates him.
Red, the force that is keeping him here. Trapping him. Calmly laying right next to him while he suffers.
He looks over at his lover one more time.
A faint vibration brought on by a fishing boat flows through their home. In an instant, he is blown out of the bed that he and his mate share.
Blue knows what he must do.
He quickly scurries out of his prison, moving along the flow of the water which feels as if it is pushing him away, allowing him finally to taste the salt in his mouth. His running could be mistaken by any other creature in this sea for dancing as he lightly leaps and bounds away, not thinking about anything for once but running as far as he can. He is free at last.
Red feels something is amiss, and wakes up to find that his mate has left him.
Before he can do anything, he is swept up in a typhoon of tears. He has lost the only source of safety in this life, and it is all his fault.
He looks around the room at all the treasures they had collected together. They usually glisten, but it is too dark right now for any light to be reflected. He holds onto Blue’s pillow, feeling it for any traces of his former partner. An empty space where so much love used to sit. Blue is gone now, but Red knows that the love has been gone for a long time.
Staying cooped up together, holding much too tightly, it was bound to drive them insane at some point. Red knows his cowardice is to blame for this. He used to fight for his lover, but lately, all he could do was sit, and wish that something would give him the power to move.
If only he had shown Blue that he could be brave, maybe he wouldn’t have lost him.
Red knows what he needs to do.
He rushes out of the sanctuary he and his lover built, feeling as though the water is guiding him to his partner. He lets the salt move through his mouth as he sprints with such persistence, searching anywhere for traces of Blue. The weight of his actions keeps him to the ground as he chases after a trace of what he once had.
–
Finally, the ship reaches its destination. The man lets the anchor drop as he yells something unintelligible, and the ship’s crew all get started throwing down the cages.
They wait, and the man tunes out the voices of his hearty crew’s chatter as he looks out at his reflection in the shimmering water, seeing the moon wrap around his head, and the empty void wrapping around his heart.
A considerable amount of time passes with him looking down to the ocean this way, and one of his shipmates gets concerned and taps him on the shoulder. He looks up, startled, and realizes that it’s time to bring up the cages. He waves his hands, and all of his men start hauling their cages up.
–
After the rush of freedom settles in Blue’s body, he slows down, and focuses on finding somewhere to hide for the night. He looks around but sees nothing for miles. Complete isolation.
Suddenly, he remembers why he was so afraid to leave in the first place.
Blue is all alone, without the only protector that he’s ever had, and the only thing that he can think about is the night just like this one, when he was taken and the only thing driving him to keep living was his love for Red.
He realizes how foolish he’s been, and breaks down. He’s made a horrible mistake, and now he’s lost in a raging ocean of ice and tears with no one to help him.
As he thinks of his mistakes, he turns around. Will Red take him back after what he’s done? Surely not. Red is probably angrier than ever, and won’t even be able to look Blue in the eye.
Still, Blue must try.
He begins to crawl back in the direction that he came from, slowly speeding up as he thinks about all that his partner means to him, how much he misses the touch of those red claws, how much he yearns to hold on for just a little bit longer.
Once Blue reaches his and Red’s hideaway, he hesitates. He wonders if he’s making the right decision. The waves push him forward, and he knows they must be right.
He enters the house, only to find his lover gone.
His heart drops as he checks every corner of the house for any sign of Red. Nothing. Oh god, he thinks. Red must’ve gone out looking for him.
Blue dashes out of the house, bringing a familiar sense of dejá vu to his head from just an hour or so ago, when he felt free for the first time in weeks. He tries not to linger on that horrible sickness and instead focuses on finding Red.
The world feels desolate, as if no sea creature is awake, not even the nocturnal ones. The waters are unloving as he gets swept up in the waves. He continues moving forward. His eyes scan for any trace of his mate’s bright, blood-red shell, but all he sees is a deep blue that has been blackened by the coldness of the night.
He calls out for Red. His own voice echoes back to him, as if taunting him for his mistakes.
Blue wants to keep moving, but he’s losing energy quickly. Despite knowing his lover must be out there somewhere, an intrinsic knowledge, deep in his cerulean heart, tells him that he will never find Red.
He finally gives in and surrenders himself to the crashing waves. He lets go of all that he’s loved as the glacial waters move through him, and set him free for the last time.
–
The man pulls up his cage, and he notices an interesting crab in-between the rest of the muddy brown ones. He knows this bright, cherry-red color all too well. This is the crab that eluded his grasp a few weeks ago. This time, however, it is not accompanied by the blue crab that once helped it escape.
Same as before, this crab is trying to claw its way through the cage. It struggles and fights, but no matter what, it cannot break it. It cannot do anything without its little partner in crime.
He looks into the red crab’s eyes. The man takes the crab out of the cage, and grasps it tightly.
After the crew gets everything secured for the night, he goes below deck to the kitchen, and puts a pot to boil. He throws the crab in.
This crab will not go down without a fight. It is struggling for its life, feeling the scalding water cook it as it slowly slips in and out of consciousness.
The man looks into its eyes once again, and swears he sees a soul drifting out of them.
Once the crab is cooked, he plates it, and digs in. He pulls apart its legs and shoves the meat into his mouth, chewing, masticating, until he’s ready to swallow. He devours the crab swiftly, almost as if he is overcome with the very same hunger that this crab once felt.
He takes a look at the empty carcass, and holds the claws up to his face.
If only he finds one more pair, he can be free.