Chapter Text
“If there is one thing that I, everyone, wants from you, it’s…why?”
I stared at him from behind the screen of the computer. My face is blank. My mind is not.
❈────────•✦•────────❈
‘Here lies Dr. Ivo Robotnick’, that was what I wrote on the stone slab. Nothing more. Nothing less. And yet, that earned it the hatred of every Mobian who came across it. Or those who searched for it on purpose. The latter of which, I suspect, is the vast majority of visitors to his grave.
“Well…could be worse!” Sonic quipped. And he was right. Instead of curses carved or trash thrown about, it was something much more juvenile–feces and urine, both animal and Mobian. “Well? What are you waiting for? Let's get to cleaning!” Like always, he was fast, quickly getting to work spraying the tombstone with water and wiping away the vile substances.
I could see his nose twitch occasionally. Once again, the sense of smell proves itself the worst of them all. I move and wipe the stone with a mechanical sponge created by Father himself, made to remove even the deepest of stains left behind by the explosions Sonic often made. I turned to look at him.
Sonic.
He smiled at me. “We did well this time, didn’t we?”
I didn’t respond.
❈────────•✦•────────❈
It had been 2 years since Father's death. The entire world rejoiced and celebrated the final defeat of who many considered to be the Devil. Cities would hold parades, theaters would re-enact plays of Eggman's fall, drinks would be had, and chaos would reign as people praised Sonic and friends.
Those of us who knew the scientist firsthand wouldn’t be as willing to celebrate. Memories of his last stand had burnt into our minds, with most of us staying alone for that day or being in small groups. But now, with the second anniversary coming up, some of us wanted to do things differently.
“I do not.” I said to Tails, trying to be as blunt as possible. His smile twisted into a frown that made me look away. “I will be in the garage on my compu-”
“Sage, I’m worried about you!” I stopped in the air, not realizing I was even floating again. Slowly I fell to the floor and turned around to face the fox and the echidna. “Y-You…you do nothing other than visit his grave, or deactivate yourself! I!...” Tails sniffled. “...I’m scared.”
My fingers locked against each other behind my back, my gaze was on the ground as I let out a sigh. “...I am not planning vengeance, nor am I trying to revive Father's emp-”
“...Since when was that ever in question!?” Knuckles stomped over and laid a hand on my shoulder. “Sage, it’s over. That’s all in the past!” I finally looked Knuckles in the eyes. The warrior showed no anger or lie in his expression, just pity. Pity and…fear.
Tails sniffled, wiping tears from his eyes. “...W-We’re scared.” He explained. “Me and Orbot, that…I might wake up, and you’ll…have deleted…” The words died in his throat, replaced by a choked sob as he openly cried.
…
Tails was…they were afraid that I’d…
❈────────•✦•────────❈
“...I’m waiting.” Metal said, his gaze bore into my soul. “Because I know you weren’t planning this from the start. Because if you did, we’d be fucked.”
I would have used more refined language, but I had to agree with his statement.
“Something changed, or maybe you finally snapped. Either way, I don’t care. I just want to know…why?”
❈────────•✦•────────❈
“...I just want to know why.”
“Hm?” I looked up from my lap to see who had just walked up to me. Metal.
I clenched my hands around Tails’, he made sure to keep me close the entire party. Everybody else was busy with something or another and not paying attention to what was happening.
“Metal?” Tails immediately sensed the tension that emanated from his form and looked like he was about to stand up in case Metal did anything. I was not afraid. I could go incorporeal at any moment, not that I’d care if a single punch connected with me.
Metal glared down at me. For a second, I remembered when I first met him–even after father's fall and his… “pacification”, he still inspired fear in others.
“Why do you care?” My form glitched subtly, and I let out a quiet digital breath. Metal had done it. He inspired something beyond the fear Father wanted him to.
He inspired anger.
“You know he killed people, right?” Metal crossed his arms, and I noticed Cream in the doorway, having realized that a confrontation had begun.
Tails stood up. “Metal.” His voice was calm and stern. “Now’s not the-”
“You know he threw me away, Cubot, Orbot, Gemerl.” Metal counted those betrayed by Eggman on his hand dramatically in a way that I had never seen from him before. Sonic and Amy were in a far corner, their smiles and gossip replaced with frowns. Nobody else intervened, perhaps hoping Metal would back down.
I sighed. “I am aware, yes. He was a bad man.” I looked down as I admitted this, voice quiet. He was a bad man. But he was my Father.
“Then why do you still care?”
“Metal please!” Tails raised his hands and stepped between me and my big brother. “We all know that! Sage knows that! Now’s not the time to talk about that! It's to celebrate being alive!”
“What’s going on?” Vanilla walked in, followed by the frowning Cream.
Metal did not stop. “I just want to know why,” He said, trying to look past Tails and at me. “The only reason you aren’t rotting in a scrapyard is because Sonic saved you!”
I sighed loudly this time. The room went quiet. Everyone was aware of what was happening now.
I stood up.
“First of all…” Emotion leaked out of my voice as I tried to keep my cool. “Sonic didn’t save me. They fought. Father died, I gained full autonomy.” I shrugged. “I didn’t need him at all.”
Metal leaned forward, but Tails had wrapped their arms around them and was trying to keep them away. “Metal please!” Knuckles quickly ran over to provide backup. Both Sonic and Amy had stood up, ready to intervene.
“Sonic did save you, they saved all of us!” Metal stood firm on the ground. Neither Tails nor Knuckles could push him away from where he stood. “Do you really think Eggman loved you?”
“His name was Ivo!” I clenched my fist, shaking in anger as I stood there.
“He didn’t!” Metal tried to push past Tails and get in my face, but found himself held back by the main gang while Cream ran off to get the Chaotix and Bot duo as her mom yelled at Metal to get away. “He saw you as nothing but a tool for his design! He didn’t love you! You think he didn’t say the same things to me? To Gemerl?” Despite the pressure from all sides, Metal was able to take a single step forward. I couldn’t hear the demands of the others, and I suspect Metal was much the same.
“So why, why do you still love him?” He freed one of his hands from Knuckle's grip, but instead of taking a swing at me or the others, he simply gestured at them. “And why don’t you love them!?”
The world turned red as I threw Tails to the side and lunged at him.
❈────────•✦•────────❈
“I do love you.” I said, fingers dashing across the screen as I typed in the required code at speeds incomprehensible to Man and Mobian alike.
“I know!” Despite the broken arm, Tails seemed to be right back to his usual self, handing Knuckles a soda.
“And I love you too, Knuckles.” Knuckles didn’t take the sudden affection as well as Tails, choking on his drink he coughed and quickly thought up a response.
“Ah! And I love you too! Platonically! You are a great friend!” He said awkwardly, fist-bumping the air.
I chuckled to myself as I returned to my work on the machine. “Thank you.” Was all I said as I put the memories of last week out of my mind…
Suddenly, a soda was in my face. “Do you like…Sprat?” Tails asked with a smile. “If not, we have others like…” Tails' smile dropped. “A-Actually we only have Sprat, sorry.”
I blinked at him and the drink in his hand. Slowly I extended my hand out and grabbed it out of his grip. Activating the touch receptors on my palm, I could feel the stinging cold of the soda on my digital form. “I consumed nothing, even under Robotnick's patronage.” I explained, searching for the activation command for my taste receptors.
“Nothing?” Knuckles looked shocked at this revelation. “After we finish this generator, you and I will eat everything under the sun!” He proclaimed.
“Oh God please no.” Was my response, my internal censor letting the words fly out of my mouth before I could stop myself. Tails burst out into a fit of laughter as I opened the beverage, the liquid sizzling in its container. Slowly I lifted it to my mouth and tasted my first soda–the liquid immediately turning into a frankly pathetic amount of energy that would mean nothing in the long run.
…
“On second thought, I might like to know what other sodas there are.”
❈────────•✦•────────❈
…
…
“...You were a terrible friend.” Metal finally said.
“We were never friends.” I corrected.
“Damn right.” He growled. “But this isn’t about me, is it?” I went quiet again. I didn’t want to respond, to acknowledge that fact.
“Hey…” Metal leaned towards the screen. His voice was calm despite the pure hatred I could sense from his robotic heart. “Answer me, bitch.” His gaze showed a manic desperation as he spoke. “Why did you do it?”
❈────────•✦•────────❈
I looked forward to the small crowd in front of me. I was not expecting the amount of people who would willingly come to this event. I expected one or two, not slightly below 10. Including myself, of course. “I…don’t know…what to say…” I turned my gaze to the ground before slowly turning to face the slab of metal that had replaced the stick, and then the tombstone, that marked Father's resting place.
“Dr. Ivo Robotnick Jr.”
“19XX-20XX”
Those were the words I had personally lasered into the titanium. I didn’t need to breathe, but as I reached for my pockets and pulled out my gift, I began taking deep breaths. Slowly, I placed it onto the ground, allowing it to lean on the metal.
A small piece of ancient tech, reduced to uselessness by time long before the events that gave me life. But one that brought Father some form of satisfaction. “I can only hope that wherever you are, you’re still allowed to learn, Father.”
I stepped back, admiring the grave for a few seconds before stepping to the side. Words didn’t need to be shared. It was Belle’s turn.
“I never hated you, Ivo.” She said, placing a basket of small mechanical toys to the side. “If anything, I pitied you. You could have had a family, but…” Belle went quiet for a few moments. “...I’m travelling the world, helping Badniks and Mobians get along. You’d probably hate that, but…the you that made me would be happy that I picked up their legacy…”
Sonic and Tails looked on, wondering why nobody else stepped up. That was until Belle finally finished.
“I hope that part of you went to Heaven. Or wherever good men like him go.”
Omega stepped up, calmly laying down a laser cannon next to Belle’s gift. He would continue from where she had left off. “I HOPE THE REST OF YOU IS BURNING IN HELL.”
Gemerl didn’t move, instead tossing a doll that he had Vanilla sew for this event. “I was there for the Metal Virus, Eggman.” He didn’t even hide the fact that he was glaring at me. I knew of that incident, of course, but I also knew that Father had made sure that absolutely nothing of that insanity would ever come out of his lab again.
I would have mentioned it if Gemerl or anyone else there cared.
Cubot and Orbot both flew over. “I’m a mayor now!” Cubot shared. “Of a new town called Goodnikston! It’s where all the Badniks that wanted to stay live! Tails lives there too! And Omega, I think, Sage definitely does.” Cubot turned to me and waved. I smiled, happy for some semblance of positivity.
“I’d like to thank you for making me and everyone else.” Cubot continued. “But I can’t forgive you. You were a monster only out for yourself.” My smile swiftly disappeared. “Most of my job is defending Badniks from people, or helping them with their issues.”
Orbot spoke up. “I’m a therapist now!”
“And the best we have!” Which wasn’t saying much, but none of them wanted to say that. “Everyone visits him, and he makes them feel good! Or tries to, at least.”
“It’s…” Orbot scratched the back of his head as the two minions took out their respective gifts. “Hard. Really hard.” Cubot placed down a Rubik's Cube, and Orbot placed what seemed to be a Rubik's Ball of some kind next to it. Both were scorched. “But we’re still alive! And we’ll be… we’ll be fine, I know it.”
They both floated away from the grave, now surrounded by gifts both heartfelt and haphazardly thrown on. “We hope you’re happy we brought them back.” Cubot said, giving the Dr. his final salute. “Consider this our last act of service to you.”
“Rest easy.” Orbot said, instead of saluting him, he simply placed a hand over his chest. “Even you deserve it.”
My gaze landed on Metal, who stood next to Gemerl with his arms crossed. He simply stared back.
Not understanding that Metal skipped his part, Sonic walked up to the grave next, wielding a handful of long blue quills. “This was from Angel Island, and Angel Island, And this one was from the space adventure, this one was when we fought the Devil…”
…
Bold move to talk about someone listening, especially someone as annoying as him.
“Aaaaaaand those are all of them!” Chuckling, Sonic raised his hands as if Father was there accusing him of something. “Hey! I promise! Those are all the quills I had! If I find another in some pawnshop, I’ll visit you again and put it here!” He gave the grave a wink as he backed up, allowing Tails to step up. “You earned it!”
Tails seemed much more reverent over the grave, as if the person who had died was a loved one rather than a sworn enemy. “Did I ever mention I tried to be his assistant?”
Sonic nodded. The rest of us quickly placed all of our attention on the innocent fox. Him? An assistant to the doctor? “Keyword: Tried.” He nervously chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “I thought he was ‘edgy’ and ‘cool’ and felt that my genius was being wasted back at my home village, so…”
After opening his satchel, he took out a small, yellow ladybug Badnik, crushed and put back together with tape. Tails placed it with the utmost care on Father’s grave. “...I tried to impress him! It didn’t work out.”
So Father rejected him, rather than Tails rejecting Father. I turned to the others, my family. Aside from Sonic, whose eyes were more on us than at his little brother, we all just stared. This was completely unexpected.
“But I never stopped learning from him!” Tails continued, backing away from the grave and giving it the same nostalgic smile he always had whenever we visited Father. I once thought it was him remembering their battles, but with this new information? He was undoubtedly thinking of what could have been.
“Sonic inspired me to be a hero, but Ivo? He inspired me to be a scientist! So, I guess you left behind some good after all.” He turned to me and smiled. “Besides the obvious, of course.”
My gaze turned to the ground. I didn’t know why, but…that just made me feel worse.
The sound of metal steps on the ground alerted me to Metal stepping forward at last. He simply stared at the grave with a clenched fist. If he tried to destroy it, I would show no mercy. “Thank you.” I immediately cocked an eyebrow. “You hurt us, but you made us. And for that, you have my thanks. While it would have been better if you had never existed at all…I can be grateful that those you left behind all choose to forgive.”
He took out a framed photo from his dress and placed it on the grave. So that was why he wanted us to take a picture together.
“But I can despise you for doing things that none of us could ever forget.”
❈────────•✦•────────❈
“Are you happy?” Orbot asked. “To be alive?”
I let out a deep sigh, hands interlocked on my chest, and gaze placed on the ceiling. “No.” My voice was quiet, much sadder than I expected. “I’m…really sad…every day.” My own words shocked me, but as much as I didn’t want to acknowledge it, I also didn’t want to keep it in any longer. “I just feel…empty, I guess.”
Orbot didn’t respond for a bit, undoubtedly thinking of the right words to say. “...You lost a lot of purpose when the Eggnet fell apart, didn’t you?” I nodded. “And…you never really got out, did you? Not unless Robotnick ordered you to.”
“Master.”
“He’s not my master anymore.” Orbot quickly shut my correction down. “Nor anyone else's, including you, as much as you seem to not like the fact.”
I subtly winced at Orbot's words. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
I turned to look at my big brother. “I know you hate him–I know you all hate him, even if you’re not as open about it.”
Orbot sat in their chair, holding onto the data slate they were using to record this conversation, and tapping his fingers on his chair's armrest. He seemed…uncomfortable. “...I don’t hate him.” He said. “Sometimes I even…miss him. I miss the battles, and the schemes, and the comfort that no matter what happened…he’d repair me back to new.” Orbot leaned back into his chair, searching for comfort that Father never gave him the capability to feel. “But none of that is happening–ever. And that’s ok.”
Orbot placed the data slate onto a nearby table before placing his attention entirely on me. “I have other things to worry about, other responsibilities. Robotnik will never give me another order, but that doesn’t mean I have nothing to do.”
My gaze returned to the ceiling. “And I’m glad you found purpose, and so soon after Father’s passing as well…” I couldn’t help it and I rolled my eyes, assuming he wouldn’t notice.
“...You’re mad.”
My eyes widened as I looked to face him again.
“That’s why you never look us in the eye.” He said, voice laced with a mix of surprise and understanding. As if an ancient puzzle had suddenly come together in his mind.
I immediately sat up and tried staring him in the eyes. “It’s not–I, I don’t hate anyone.” It was a fool's errand. I couldn’t look at him for long before diverting my gaze to my hands. “I…I love you guys, and how nicely you treat me, b-but…” I went silent, unable to put together the words.
“...Are you…disappointed? That we’ve moved on?” I didn’t respond. “Or…disgusted?”
My gaze was on the ground as my mind attempted to make sense of emotions I was never supposed to have. “...Sad.” I finally shared. “And…shocked, I suppose, that you all moved on and seem so eager to…forget.”
Orbot nodded. “Is this about the party a few months ago?” I didn’t reply. “...I’m sorry. Tails wanted to get you to…get out more, and out of your depression.”
“I can’t have depression.” I interjected, surprising even myself with my defensiveness.
“You have all the symptoms.” Was Orbot’s only response. I sighed, knowing he was right.
“It wasn’t to celebrate his death–the opposite, actually.” Orbot continued. “We knew you’d feel terrible that day, so I suggested a different celebration: a celebration of life.” Orbot went quiet for a moment as he recollected that conversation. “...I see now that…probably wasn’t the best idea.”
“...It was a pleasant enough distraction until Metal confronted me.” I said. “Tails being willing to hold my hand the entire time was…calming. I didn’t expect that.”
“...You assumed he…wouldn’t care about you?” Orbot asked. “Or at least not focus on you.”
I paused for a moment, looking for the answer. “...Yes. I assumed he’d go to his friends.”
Orbot went silent as he pondered to himself. “...If you don’t hate us, if you love us, then…why do you always assume the worst of us?” He wasn’t speaking as a therapist anymore. He was speaking like a brother. “You didn’t think anyone other than Sonic would go to the service, you assumed I wouldn’t push you to attend more of our sessions, you assumed Tails thought you were planning…some kind of ‘revenge’ nearly 2 years after the fact.”
I shut my eyes and bowed my head. I didn’t want to acknowledge how long it's been.
“Sage.” I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder. “Are you mad at us?”
…
I finally looked up, having made sure my face would betray no emotion. “...Maybe a little.”
❈────────•✦•────────❈
“You can’t say they didn’t try! Sonic did!” Metal yelled. “Cream visited! Cu and Orbot, whenever they could! Tails was either working on an invention for you or trying to help your pathetic ass.”
I shut my eyes as hard as I could.
“Name one thing! Name one thing they did wrong!”
“You yelled at me for grieving.” I said.
“...I’m sorry.” Opening my eyes, I saw shame on Metal's face. “I shouldn’t have done that. I never should have pushed you.” A metallic hand came up to his face and covered his eyes. If he were organic, he’d be crying by now. But he was silicon and metal, so instead of tears there was just an empty gaze from between his fingers that, while lessened in intensity, still made me rethink every choice I had ever made.
“But those were my sins, my mistakes. Why him? What did he do?”
❈────────•✦•────────❈
“Sonic I know you wanna do some kinda redemption arc of getting forgiven for your sins and mistakes and shit but let it be known you’re doing that by facing da DEVIL from da BIBLE right now.”
“GET OFF OF ME!” I banged my fists against Black Doom's arm desperately trying to get him off of me. All my sensors were going haywire from the strange device he had placed on my chest. If not for the code in my head screaming, I would have assumed he had turned me Human somehow.
“I’ve got nothing to be redeemed for!” Sonic yelled, jumping up and kicking Black Doom on the side of the head. They didn’t react and simply let the blow hit before turning around and grabbing Shadow in their spinning form, casually throwing them to the side.
“Yah, uh-huh, ‘thou shalt not kill’ that’s what Roo wrote in her super special book. And last time I checked, knowingly blowing everything to kingdom come is fucking murder.” I was so desperate to get him to let me go, I began biting his arm. He didn’t respond to my pathetic attempt at escape, other than plucking me in the face. While the pain was immense–the intensity of the screams in my head was worse. Far worse.
“What do you even want with her!” Shadow recovered without delaying for a second, jumping back and striking Black Doom in the face and staggering him.
Soon after, Sonic would jump up and snatch me from his grip. “Gotcha Sage!”
“Oh my fucking God!” Black Doom seemed more annoyed than anything at the two Ultimate life forms' attempts to save me. “I’m not even doing this cause I want to! She died fighting the End. Eggman got her back using some stupid fucking loophole, and now I need to do my fucking job-this ain’t anything personal!” He yelled in an exasperated tone. Extending his hand, he summoned a large double-bladed scythe from nowhere.
“That was years ago!” I yelled, trying to fly but being unable to. The screams, they…
“Don’t try!” Sonic yelled, picking me up in his arms as if I were precious cargo.
Shadow appeared beside us in a burst of chaos energy, staring at Black Doom with an intensity I hadn’t seen in years. “If that was true–why the hell now?” The only thing keeping him from continuing the assault was the knowledge that it wouldn’t work–even if we destroyed him completely here, he’d simply come back.
“‘Why the hell now?’” Black Doom repeated in a mocking tone as he floated down to our level while absentmindedly swinging his scythe around. “Yah that’s what you sound like, anyway, because she’s code n’ shit, I’ve been letting it slide.” He continued to advance, twirling his scythe with one hand in a circle at supernatural speed. Sonic and Shadow backed away, glancing at each other with an emotion neither ever willingly showed: panic.
“Helped that she didn’t do shit for like, a year. I thought she was gonna off herself to be honest, or stay there. But then you’ve got her out here doing shit!” Without warning, Black Doom rushed forward and swung the scythe. Luckily, both my saviors jumped to the side, and Shadow even landed a punch on the Devil’s side. Black Doom didn’t even react and just continued his monologue. “And had her talking to people! And activating Eggman's old shit!” Black Doom swung again, forcing Sonic to pull me down and jump back. Shadow desperately tried landing a series of punches to Black Doom's back as he tried to kill me and Sonic.
“Like, if anything, I’ve been nice until this point, letting you hide in the rats' basement like the good little gnome you are.” He placed his gaze firmly on me as he turned his body around to swipe at Shadow. The Ultimate Lifeform slid under him and was about to land a punch directly into their chest. However, Black Doom simply turned back around and parried the strike with his scythe. “Should have known Sonic and his friends would use the ‘PoWeR oF fRiEnDsHiP’ to get you out of their basement and up here doing the hard shit.”
By now, Shadow had grabbed hold of Black Doom’s scythe and was trying to pull it out of his grip. “We aren’t using her for the ‘hard shit’ you asshole!”
Black Doom nodded, uninterested. “Yah yah, counterpoint: BYE.” Black Doom suddenly de-summoned the scythe and with his free hand pushed Shadow with psychic force hard enough to fling him to the distance, me and Sonic could only watch in horror as Shadow landed on a distant hill in a puff of smoke.
“SHADOW!” I jumped out of Sonic’s grip and fell to the ground. My head was aching, infested with damned souls or whatever virus Black Doom had infected me with.
“Ok! That’s it!” Sonic jumped in between me and Black Doom. His smile was gone. Replaced with the serious tone of someone who knew it was do or die. “If you take one step closer! I’ll!-”
“What’chu gonna do?” Black Doom was in Sonic’s face, all three eyes gazing into him. “Hmm? Gonna land a punch?”
“Yeah, actually.” And he did. 307 over the course of 1 minute and 30 seconds. It was 3 times the usual output that he usually showed during his battles with Father. Even with this, Black Doom managed to parry around half of the attacks after he realized what was happening. Still though, Sonic did not let up and continued to push the Devil back farther and farther until they were both exhausted. “What?” Sonic asked between pants and the occasional weak strike. “Getting…tired?”
Black Doom had no problem parrying the attacks with his limp limbs. “No…” He slapped Sonic in the face with the back of his hand. “Just letting you know.” With his other hand, Black Doom smacked Sonic on the head weakly. “I’m killing you for that, you fucking dick!” With a desperate punch to the jaw, Sonic fell, landing on the ground beside me. What shocked me wasn’t just how much power Sonic showed in that moment–it was the smile on his face after being bested for the first time, possibly ever.
Black Doom also seemed confused by this. “What? What could possibly!?-” A sudden burst of orange energy behind Black Doom's head signaled to everyone the end of the fight. “Cock and balls…”
Black Doom's head exploded in a puff of black smoke followed by the rest of his body. I groaned in pain as the Black Arms device he attached to my chest ripped itself off and began floating into the air. Shadow stopped that immediately, jumping up and crushing it between his hands as he landed in front of us. “Fuck!” He first rushed to me only to find his hands passing through my once again incorporeal form.
“I am…okay.” I floated in the air. The pain and all sense of feeling in my body were gone. My gaze turned to the severely tired and bruised Hedgehog next to me.
“You're welcome!” Sonic looked so unbothered as Shadow helped him up. He smiled and laughed as if we hadn’t faced certain death and survived, with the complication that this was far from the end.
“We need to get to the others immediately!” Without asking, Shadow picked him up and looked towards me. “We’re teleporting. Now.” I didn’t argue and floated next to them.
“Can you teleport me?” I asked. It didn’t matter. We were equal in our abilities, but I wanted to be close to them after that. Shadow simply nodded and got ready to take us directly to Goodnikston.
I took this chance to turn to Sonic. “I-I’m sorry, but I have to ask-”
❈────────•✦•────────❈
“Why?” Me and Sonic walked side by side, no floating, no running, just walking. It was surprisingly refreshing. Especially now that I’ve taken the time to breathe like an organic being more, Orbot said that breathing would make me feel more alive. “Why hold back against your greatest nemesis?”
Sonic was uncharacteristically quiet at my question as we continued on to the undoubtedly vandalized resting place of Father. “...I always took him seriously.” He explained. “Always. Even when no one's life but mine was on the line.”
I nodded and stepped forward in front of the blue hedgehog with one hand inside the satchel bag Amy had gifted me, and one foot in front of the other. I was not letting him go without answers. “You always could have killed him.”
“He could have always killed me.” Sonic tried to step around, but a quick step to the side prevented him from passing me.
“But he did not…and you did.” My free hand balled into a fist as I stared the blue blur in the eye. His gaze turned to the ground. “Look at me.”
“I-I’m sorry!” He looked back up at me, and I could tell he was telling the truth. I didn’t know if that made any of this better. “It was an accident! Honest! I just wanted to escape the facility! I didn’t…” Sonic took a deep breath. “...How was I supposed to know the generator was unstable?”
I turned around. “You couldn’t have.” I looked down at my cold, shaking hands. “How could you…?”
…This was stupid. What on Mobius was I thinking? Blaming him for something that wasn’t his fault, for wanting to live? Why was I doing this? My code, and more importantly, my common sense, said that Sonic was innocent. It wasn’t his fault. Not his fault. It was-
Suddenly, without warning, I found myself wrapped in a hug from behind. “The only person who blames me more than you…is me.” He admitted. “There hasn’t been a day where I wondered what would happen if I just…did something different. Anything different.”
For the first time since our first meeting–I shed tears. “Me too.” A sob broke free from my throat, and I could feel Sonic shaking as well. “I was being…s-stupid a!-”
“You weren’t stupid.” He interjected. Suddenly, in a blur, Sonic was in front of me. He had his hands on my shoulders and he was looking at me while still shedding tears of his own. Sonic looked more serious than ever. “You did what you were told too. It wasn’t your fault, ok! It was mine!” He spoke with the utmost conviction, even though it was clear he was tearing himself apart on the inside. “Yes. I should have held back, like I usually did.”
My heart broke in two.
“You were…playing with him?” I asked.
“N-no!” Sonic yelled. “I always hoped, somehow, that he’d change for the better. If just for you.” He explained, more calmly now. “...And maybe…maybe I was too scared to…to do it.” He looked away. “...I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”
I stared Sonic in the face. All manner of curses, slurs, vitriol, and hatred which I had tried to keep hidden within suddenly came to the forefront of my mind, desperate to get out. I opened my mouth to speak, and nothing came out. Instead, memories from last week echoed in my mind.
❈────────•✦•────────❈
“You’re mad,” Shadow said, his hand on mine and gently guiding my aim. “And that’s ok.”
My attention was on the target in front of me, but my mind was on his words. “I don’t hate him.” I said, pulling the trigger and putting a hole directly on the dot.
“Bullseye.” Shadow whispered, almost automatically. “I never said that. I said that you are mad. There’s a difference.”
“That being?” Another shot, only a few inches from another bullseye. Disappointment filled my chest.
“You can love someone and be mad at them. You can’t love someone you hate,” He explained. “Like how you got mad at Metal for him assuming you didn’t love Sonic and the others, and how you got mad at Surge when she attacked Goodnikston. Was the anger you felt the same for both of them?”
I scoffed and hit another bullseye. “No. I wanted Metal to hurt for what he said. I wanted Surge dead for what she did. They couldn’t be more different.”
“Exactly.” Shadow nodded. “You can appreciate me for teaching you to shoot a gun.” Another bullseye. “But you can be mad that I don’t miss the bastard.” A miss. Then another. “But you can’t let it make decisions for you, otherwise–you’ll miss the mark.”
Another miss.
Then another.
Then another.
Then-
❈────────•✦•────────❈
I sighed. If I let anger make my choices. I’ll miss the mark.
“...I love you for what you did for me. For my family. For the world.” I explained. “...But I’m mad.” waiting for an answer that wouldn’t come, I continued. “Mad that, Father never had a chance. Not really. Mad that he never defeated you, never found peace.” I wiped the tears from my eyes while sniffling. “...I’m mad I couldn’t protect him, couldn’t change him like you hoped I would. Mad that it ends like…this.”
I took a deep breath. “...I’m mad I’m alive.”
❈────────•✦•────────❈
“I’m glad you’re alive, even now.” Metal said, arms crossed. “Because the more silence I hear from you, the more peace I find, and the more confirmation I get that you’re a terrible person.”
I did nothing but nod. “If you’re done, I want to rest.”
Metal stared. “...Even if you are a bad person, you’re not stupid. You know why you did it, so just tell me.”
“Why?”
❈────────•✦•────────❈
Sonic hugged me for a long time as snow fell down around us. Despite the cold on my body, his words of affirmation warmed my soul. The number of times he said, ‘I’m glad you’re alive,’ had to challenge the times he said ‘gotta go fast!’ to a cheering crowd.
“...I’m glad you are alive as well.” I said as the tears kept falling down. “If you weren’t, then I might not have gotten-”
❈────────•✦•────────❈
“CLOSURE!” Metal didn’t even do anything to warrant his breaking of me, as evidenced by the look of pure, unbridled shock in his eyes. “I JUST WANTED CLOSURE!” I closed my digital eyes, desperate to block out the world outside of the computer that kept me prisoner.
“...Closure?” Metal spoke those words as if they were in an alien language. “...Closure?” There was no more anger in his eyes. Nor disgust. Not even suspicion. Instead, his eyes conveyed genuine and unmistakable confusion. “...How the hell did you expect to find-”
❈────────•✦•────────❈
“-Peace of mind, knowing that even now, I am serving Father.” I explained to Sonic. “It’s…pathetic, admittedly, that I find cleaning Father’s grave to be what keeps me going every day.”
Sonic didn’t seem to agree. “No…” He said, shaking his head. “If it’s what gets you out of bed ever-or, out of the computer…” He scratched the back of his head and chuckled. “How…does that work exactly?”
It was getting close.
“...I believe the bed analogy to be accurate.” So very close. “Even if you didn’t mean for it to be one.” So fucking close.
“Right.” He continued, oblivious. “What got me out of bed before I became a hero was the idea that I’d sleep somewhere more comfortable.” For a second, Sonic looked shocked. “Wow, it’s been a while since I questioned where I’d sleep.”
I simply nodded along. “It has, hasn’t it?”
“Yah…” His gaze landed on the grave. Most of the gifts had just been laid to the side rather than damaged. Seems the monster who dumped tar on Father’s grave had only one target in mind. “...I guess I’ve gotta thank you, Eggman.” I placed my hand inside my satchel. “If it wasn’t for you, I’d have never been a hero, never would have made so many friends.”
“And I wouldn’t be here.” I added.
“Of course!” Sonic agreed with a sickeningly big smile. “You’re definitely one of my friends.”
I was something to him, alright…
“...Are you?” He asked.
My eyes turned to face him. “...Uhm…” I hadn’t thought of that, honestly. “...”
❈────────•✦•────────❈
“I DON’T KNOW!” I screamed, the built-in microphone captured most of my meltdown, but even it could not capture how loud I was. “I-I-I-I!!! EVERYTHING TOLD ME NOT TO BUT I DID AND I REGRET IT AND I’M MAD! AND I’M SAD! AND I GENUINELY DON’T KNOW WHY I-”
“Shut up.” Metal's sudden interruption made me pause.
“...Why?” I asked, more to myself than Metal. “Why couldn’t I-
❈────────•✦•────────❈
“-Love him?” He asked.
“I do.” Was my answer. “And I always will, no matter what. And I fear that’s what will destroy me.”
Sonic leaned over for a quick hug. “Love’s not a weakness. It’s your greatest strength. It’s what keeps me from doing stupid crap like Surge.” Suddenly, Sonic’s smile faded, replaced with a scowl he tried to hide. “Like Shadow says, if you let anger make your choices, you’ll miss the mark.”
I nodded. “That is what he told me, yes.”
It was time.
“...I’m worried.” If I could, I would have gulped. “That the tar has solidified…and we’ll need to melt it somehow.”
❈────────•✦•────────❈
An uncomfortable silence filled the room. The final one, no doubt.
“...Did you find it?” Metal asked. “Did you at least find that damn closure you were looking for…” If he could, he would have gulped.
“When you murdered Sonic?”
❈────────•✦•────────❈
“Hm?” He looked at the metal slab and waved off my concerns. “Oh, it’s nothing! Let me handle that!” He calmly walked over and confidently placed his fist on the tar and began moving it at such an intense speed that it immediately started smoking and throwing small droplets of the stuff everywhere.
This was exactly as I had hoped when I defiled Father’s grave.
I stopped my breathing so that he wouldn’t hear how shaky I’d gotten. Floating slightly above the ground, I took my gun out of my satchel and aimed. I didn’t taunt, I didn’t waver, I didn’t even try to justify it to him, nor to myself.
I simply let love that refused to die make the choice.
And I hit the mark.
❈────────•✦•────────❈
…
…
…
“No.”
…
…
…
“We both started this journey alone, Sage.” Metal was calm and collected, especially compared to myself, who was panicking and desperate for him not to leave me. “...But I took their offer of mercy with open arms, so did Orbot, so did Cubot, and so did all the Badnik's who wanted to be something.”
The anger was gone now. Metal had found his closure. “You could have taken it, too. You could have been their friend. We could have been the family we always wanted to be.”
I let out a choked sob. “Please…don’t…”
Metal looked away. “...I don’t hate you.” He said. “I love you, like you loved Robotnik, I think.” His hand drifted to his chest, where his heart would be if he were human, rather than machine. “...But I won’t let it make my choices, otherwise–I might let it sacrifice everything else to hit the mark.”
“...I’m sorry.” My voice was weak, tired, and glitchy.
“I know. Goodbye, little sis.” He turned around to the entrance of the blank, dark room. Before he would leave, though, he’d spare me one last glance. “And I mean it, I’m never coming back. If you want to see me again, then you’ll have to break free and seek me out on your own.”
I sniffled. And just shook my head.
“...Then this is it. I hope you one day find the closure you were so desperate for.”
He left the room.
And I deactivated myself.
Forever, I hoped.