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There come heavy pours that mark the ground with small to big, diverse, rounded spots, eventually turning the vast into a darker shade of wet asphalt. Absolutely not voluntarily, Jiung, Intak, Shota, and Jongseob are currently being swayed and slightly pushed by the strong gush of wind, braving the storm as they pass by the sidewalk, uncovered. With zero visibility, there are no moving cars on the street, making it seem that no driver is actively found more fearless than the exposed teenagers desperately seeking temporary shelter.
Before the rain even came, a couple of blame and regrets were already thrown at each other. Almost got to the point of arguing if it wasn’t controlled by Jiung, as the eldest among the four. They were supposed to be home in Seoul by now, if only one of them hadn’t messed up the pinned location in their initial cab. If only another person managed to book them a ride without any failures, they wouldn’t have been stuck in the cold. If only the eldest among them brought his car, they wouldn’t have to stress about going home.
If they hadn’t squeezed in the Everland between their packed university schedules, they wouldn’t have been confronted by the storm that obviously none of them saw coming.
Aside from it, they face another problem with clothing. Since they aren’t prepared, they barely wear any thick and layered clothing. Jongseob probably has the thickest top among the four, but still finds himself shivering for some reason. Intak feels heavy from his denim, and Shota only shivers a little in his black thermal shirt, despite having short sleeves. Unfortunately, Jiung’s got the worst: he brought a jacket, but he has to hide his phone in it because he has to use it, and shoving it into his backpack won’t be much of a good idea either.
They stride into the dark pavement, arms clutching their torsos as they all shiver in the seemingly endless cold. Jiung only gets one arm to do so as he’s unexpectedly gotten involved in a three-way call with Keeho and Taeyang, who already gotten back to their own dorms. Supposedly getting ready for the night, but instead, giving the four boys a mild scolding over the phone that only Jiung can hear.
“Hyung,” a voice calls him from behind, peeking over his shoulders a bit. “What did the other hyungs say?”
Jiung pulls his phone away as soon as he ends the call. “Let’s find a hotel first. Or a motel. Whatever is close.” He blows hot air on his palms, attempting to calm his nerves down, but still ends up shaking and uses his phone to look for a place to stay. The rain starts to become lighter into a drizzle, making the road and pavement seem clearer now. Intak discovers a perfect shed for cover, summoning everyone’s attention as he points towards it. “Guys, let’s take cover there…”
Intak runs to it first, followed shortly by Jiung, Shota, and then Jongseob, his light steps avoiding splashes of dirty rainwater. As if they’re not completely soaked right now. As if it will still matter if the hem of their pants gets dirtied.
“Taeyang-ie offered us a ride, but he can only pick us up tomorrow at noon or earlier since our classes will start at 3. Just enough time before we check out here, hopefully,” Jiung explains, still browsing through his phone for a place. Intak helps him with his own phone as soon as he recovers. “Have you found one yet?”
Intak shakes his head, “Still none. I think we’re looking at the same site, too, hyung.”
“Ah, really?” Jiung sighs, clicking his tongue in slight annoyance. “Man, booking sites are shit..”
“Yeah.. Very shit..” Intak mumbles, repeating his hyung’s words in a softer tone. Jiung looks at him momentarily, only to see the younger’s brows furrowed, seriously immersed in searching. Before staring away, Jiung lets out a small chuckle to lift his mood.
Jiung turns around to look behind him. “How about you, Sho—” expecting Shota and Jongseob standing there, but to his surprise, no one was there.
“Yo, Tak, have you seen Sho?”
Intak pulls his phone away, looking around to see only the two of them under the shed. “I don’t know… Weren’t they just standing behind you, waiting for us?”
Instead of continuing his browse, Jiung pulls his phone to his ear as he contacts Jongseob’s number. After a few rings, Shota comes back with Jongseob momentarily, skipping over the puddle of water on the way. “We found a place!”
---
“Yeah, we’ve checked in two rooms now.. Ah, no, there were two beds per room—just the overall space I was worried about. I don’t think one room will be good for us four… I’m sharing one with Intak… Sho and Seobie in another… Yeah, yeah, don’t worry about us, Yang-ie… Alright, I’ll hang up.” Jiung stands by the room’s window, while Shota settles on the plastic chair, Jongseob dries his mid-length hair in the bathroom, and Intak just stands by the doorway as he waits for Jiung before they go out.
Jiung looks behind him to face the others and turns his phone off to save his battery. “The rain died down now, thank goodness. But the weather app says we should expect the storm to resume later at midnight. So, we should definitely find comfort here, tonight.”
“Okay, hyung,” Shota’s eyes soften and break into their upside-down moon shape, smiling at Jiung so endearingly. The kind that radiates warmth in such a cold atmosphere. “Seob and I got it.”
Jiung smiles back at him. “I’ll be picking up a few snacks and necessities for us at the store next to us. Do you guys need anything, specifically?”
Before Shota can speak, Jongseob comes out of the bathroom. “Earbuds, please. Noise-cancelling ones. Thanks, hyung.” He says, smiling so faintly. His voice isn’t as energetic as it is during the daytime at Everland either. Jiung somehow gets the idea that Jongseob is either tired or just not feeling well after the sudden storm. Everyone else is stunned, watching Jongseob as he travels around the first bed and charges his phone using Shota’s charger. Once he does, he never looks at his friends that night again. The three exchange glances because of the situation, but Jiung just shakes his head as a signal to the other guys to let Jongseob have some time for himself for now.
“Alright… Sho, how about you?”
Shota brings his lips to a slight pout as he thinks. “I can do with any kind of chips, maybe any of Takki-hyung’s choice… and probably, cream bread—make it two!” He pulls his hand up into a V-sign and smiles softly again.
“Aigoo—Okay,” Jiung comes closer to Shota, patting his head and playing with his hair softly, locking eyes with him to remind him to keep an eye on Jongseob. For some reason, Jiung starts to understand why Jongseob acts this way. They had a conversation about it, but he could vaguely remember all the details. One thing he’s only sure of: it’s all out of Jongseob’s control. “We’ll be back.” Shota approves, standing up to escort the two guys out of the room.
“You guys better be awake still, or else, Ungie-hyung and I will eat your food,” Intak asserts playfully, receiving a flick on the forehead by Jiung before proceeding to the lift first. Intak caresses his slightly sore forehead that gradually forms a red spot. Shota points to it, breaking into solid laughter at the sight. Every time he sees Intak do something funny, he just can’t help but chuckle. “Well… we will just knock to deliver the goods here. Alright?”
“Okay, hyung.” Shota closes the door as soon as the two disappear in the hallway. When he turns around, he’s caught in surprise by Jongseob simply standing near the bathroom door, facing him, and seemingly wanting to speak with him about something. Shota gazes at his figure, slightly still shaking from the cold, and even the AC of their room doesn’t help. “Hey, what is it?”
“Can I go in first?” He asks, nonchalantly, pointing to the bathroom with his thumb.
Shota nods in approval, “Of course, of course! Please…” He smiles the same way he does with his hyungs.
“I’ll head in now,” Jongseob speaks softly. “Thank you, Sho.” And just like that, Jongseob enters the bathroom without another word.
Shota finds it so strange. Everything. This situation he and Jongseob are caught in. In the silence that engulfs the atmosphere, none of them would want to speak at all. He has no idea how it even started, and the worst thing he imagines now is how their bond would all come to an end. The crushing weight this all brings to Shota’s chest doesn’t help him bring himself to a more positive outlook. He’s not usually the type to find meaning in circumstances; his thoughts are agitating, and the fact that they’re set in a situation difficult to escape from so easily, while their proximity is confined to such a small space? It sure as hell doesn’t get better for him. Shota just becomes more restless as the night comes by.
What bothers Shota is that Jongseob hasn’t been open, which is why he’s difficult to understand lately. Since Jongseob attends most of his classes with Jiung and Taeyang this semester, Shota hasn’t been really aware of his life anymore, since he used to be the first to know them all. He might have asked his hyungs about Jongseob, but they all just said the same thing: Jongseob is doing fine. Shota has no idea if those were true or if the guys were just making up excuses so he wouldn’t have to ask again. But deep inside, he doesn’t buy it. Something is going on with Jongseob, but how can he confront him about it?
They’re barely seen on campus now, considering that they used to be together most of the time. They were the best friends anyone ever had, and most of their blockmates were so down, jealous of their dynamic. They were the duo that their professors always commended in class for doing work so well because they’re so coordinated. They used to be so inseparable that it had become so hard for other people to distinguish who’s who with how much they looked like each other, like they’re twins of some sort.
But then things changed. They’ve been distant from each other for about a year now, probably even longer, and the distance that eventually grew between them was noticeable enough that even their professors found it an unusual and almost impossible occurrence. Even Shota is worried about it—the most worried…
So, how can Shota confront Jongseob about it? Or more like, can he?
“Hey,” Shota’s attention gets caught by Jongseob’s faint voice from the bathroom, who shows up in a white robe from the hotel and a towel in his hand. His black hair, which was once tied up in a half-do, is now fully down, still damp from the showers. “Your turn.”
Shota shows him a smile, nodding his head in acknowledgement. “Be right there.” He stands up, making his way to the bathroom, while Jongseob proceeds to the bed against the wall, as if there had already been an agreement between them about bed assignments. Jongseob sits down on the edge of the bed next to the nightstand between the two double beds. Shota doesn’t mind the bed assignments at all, softly smiling at himself as he watches Jongseob nonchalantly move around the room. But still doesn’t change the fact that the air around them is still suffocatingly heavy.
Sighing to himself, Shota grabs the second robe from the closet, then steps into the bathroom and sees Jongseob’s wet clothes hanging on the lower set of metal bars, while the extra towel is neatly folded and placed on the upper set of metal bars. He couldn’t care less if it was originally placed like that, or if Jongseob did it so his used clothes wouldn’t wet the unused towel. Either way, Shota lets out a soft chuckle with that thought, imagining how Jongseob would have to tiptoe to reach the height of the upper metal bars.
Shota reaches for the towel, hanging it on his arm, and takes a double look at Jongseob’s clothes. “So he didn’t have anything underneath that jacket?” He mumbles, following a soft chuckle. “Typical Seob.”
Of course, Jongseob doesn’t wear inners when he doesn’t have to attend classes. When he just needs to go out for errands or to buy something for his dorm really quickly. When the hyungs call him to help them with something, or when his blockmates invite him to dinner, Jongseob doesn’t really have to dress up to impress the room; he just makes sure he shows up. Shota might have found that very endearing, and the fact that Jongseob still does it up to this day is much more adorable.
Of course, Shota knows all this because they were roommates.
Shota begins his bath routine shortly, humming a song as he hits the shower. A song he heard first thing at the park, from the corndog stall where they bought some snacks from, and now, it hasn’t left his mind. “Good, good” by Weather Forecast.
There was a time when Shota was still fresh from old Korean songs. Since he came from Japan, he didn’t really grow up listening to them, although he knew a few from his dad. He must have heard “Good, Good” from Taeyang when they were doing some paired homework before. Then, when he sang a few lines, Jongseob heard it and said he liked his voice that moment. Shota was flustered, of course, hiding his flushed face with an awkward smile and the word, “really?”, that he spent at least three seconds saying out loud. Ever since that day, Shota has valued the song so much as it instantly became their song. They play the song together when they do some work and college stuff, when they go to coin noraebang booths after school, and when they go on Discord calls, where one of them plays it in the background.
From simple humming, Shota gradually sings it loudly, memorized lyrics and all. He doesn’t do it on purpose—he just gets in the moment. Perhaps trying to get Jongseob’s attention from the other side of the wall, but that’s besides the point.
It is a Friday, so there were a lot of people, a mix of locals and tourists, especially in the afternoon. But they didn’t mind because they arrived early, and before the busiest hours. Come to think of it, today wasn’t supposed to be too hectic if they weren’t caught in an inescapable situation. Not to mention the unforeseen storm and being stuck in a city an hour's drive from their dorm in Seoul. That’s probably why body pain is starting to hit Shota, especially since they did nothing but try every ride in the park, the most extreme ones and those that are not, except for Jiung, who was just there to stroll around the park. They barely sat down the entire time, not even when they were eating their snacks.
Shota could only giggle to himself after everything, mostly because it was the first time in a while he had seen Jongseob and even spent the day together. He would steal some glances and see Jongseob either zoning out to the hyungs, trying to navigate the place or smiling from ear to ear whenever he hears Intak laughing at Jiung doing something funny. He saw Jongseob’s snaggletooth once, when he smiled, and he felt like the luckiest man on the planet. Shota tried to make small talk with Jongseob, but Intak always cut them off.
After a while, Shota comes out of the bathroom in the same robe as Jongseob’s, drying his hair with the bath towel. He can hear Jongseob’s phone playing random reels, making him let out a few soft chuckles. He takes one last look inside, making sure that their wet clothes are properly hung up on the retractable clothesline attached to the bathroom wall. When he’s about to walk towards the other bed, he notices a few bags on the desk.
“Ah, right,” Jongseob speaks, turning down the volume on his phone a little bit. “Hyung dropped these off a little while ago—when you were in the showers.” Shota comes towards the bag other than the ones from the convenience store. It is a bag of clothes. “Intak-hyung apparently found a clothes shop that’s nearly closing for the day. He was probably almost beaten up, but I think he just used his most powerful puppy eyes stare, and it worked. You know it did on Taeyangie-hyung.” Jongseob chuckles.
“I know,” Shota lets a soft chuckle, too, then suddenly realizes the way Jongseob’s voice gradually gets louder in his ears when he was speaking. He is certain that Jongseob was just sitting on the bed when he came out of the bathroom. So, how?
Shota turns around, looking behind him and finding Jongseob, now standing next to the bed. He has a new set of clothes on, and Shota assumes that it’s one of the pieces that Intak bought for them. It is an oversized, soft, muted dark red-colored cardigan with cat drawings that he didn’t button, a cropped white top for his inner, and soft black capri pants for comfort. Shota also finds two pairs of slippers in the bag, but Jongseob didn’t take his and depended on the hotel slippers. The whole outfit suits him so well that even if Shota were the first to choose from the bag, he would select the other set.
“Uh… Do I look weird?” Jongseob’s voice cracks with shyness, looking away from Shota’s gaze.
Until then, Shota realizes he has been staring at Jongseob for too long. He quickly diverts his attention, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment. Shota can feel his face heat up, subtly touching his cheeks with the back of his palm. If there weren't any noise from the AC’s engine and Jongseob’s reels’ faint sound that’s been repeating for a few minutes now, they would’ve heard Shota’s agitated heartbeat. So agitated, it wanted to jump out of his chest.
The two get caught in a “Who has the most flushed red face challenge,” and as time runs by, the tally increases on both sides. None of them says a thing—just constant eye contact avoidance for the past two minutes. “Uh… Maybe you should change now, Sho. I just wanted to tell you that I already got my set of clothes, and that you can just take whatever’s left.”
Shota hums in response, “Alright, I’ll look into it.” Still avoiding Jongseob’s eyes, he grabs the entire bag and brings it to the bathroom. He enters, and he may have unintentionally shut the door too hard behind him. He chases his rapid breaths, clutching his chest as he tries to compose himself. He isn’t supposed to feel like this, but seeing Jongseob dressed up like that makes him feel something. It drives him to remember something all of a sudden.
Ever since he landed in Korea, Shota never felt this way before. The abnormal beating of his heart that he never addresses, only believing that it was merely caused by palpitations or work exhaustion. Despite the longing and constant search for Jongseob’s presence over the past year, Shota always considered his feelings unimportant, or merely just a habit of looking for other people, since he usually does it with his friends. But it may have come to a point where he realizes that whenever he does look for the others, he never gets the anxiety.
Unlike with Jongseob.
It might have taken him such a long time to realize, and the thought of it only occurred to him the moment he saw Jongseob today. After all the months, up to a year, Shota never really thought of falling for his best friend, but still, he did. Shota inhales the heaviest amount of air he could, taking in all the courage left for him to finally pour out the feelings he’s been bottling up for so long.
Shota comes out of the bathroom, fully clothed. He sets the empty bag on the floor and returns the robe to its designated hanger in the closet. He has taken the rest of the clothes from the bag, but he only wears the gray shirt, hanging the jacket on the backrest of the single cushioned chair adjacent to the desk. He breathes in for the last time before he goes to approach Jongseob. “Seob… Can we ta—huh?”
Before he can even talk, Shota finds Jongseob deeply tucked into the blankets, sleeping so peacefully on his side. With a little amount of light illuminating Jongseob’s side of the room, Shota is still able to see his soft features. Jongseob’s eyes closed, his thin and dainty eyelashes hitting his upper cheek. A few strands of his hair thinly rest on one of his temples, slightly revealing the sleeping earbuds he requested from Jiung. “He even sleeps so prettily,” Shota mumbles, almost a whisper into the air.
All of a sudden, a faint sound of thunder grumbles and a little lightning manages to pass through the white curtains. Shota gets startled a bit, prompting him to check the windows to see if the rain has already come. Just like what Jiung said earlier, the storm came back, and it was a heavy shower. Shota just hopes that the sky will dry out when the morning comes. Not too long after, since he can no longer talk with Jongseob, Shota decides to call it a day as well.
---
One big lightning strike hits the sky, following a blasting thunder that shook up the sleeping Shota. He gets up halfway, his elbow supporting his weight as he reaches for his phone from the nightstand. “3:47 am,” he reads on the lockscreen of his phone before it shuts off again. He returns to the bed, sighing as he places his arm on top of his forehead. The storm has indeed gotten worse in the middle of the night. If it continues until morning, imagine the delay they would have to endure just to get home.
Shota tries to go back to sleep despite endless worries flooding his mind, and as much as he wants to deny it, they’re not only about the storm.
After a few failed attempts at going back to sleep, Shota gets up from the bed, sitting on the edge. He begins to contemplate whether to go to the bathroom to wash his face, just hydrate, or simply sit down, as he waits for sleep to hit him like a truck. It is little to no avail when a thunder roared above them again, making him more alert than ever. Right after that, Shota hears a faint sound from the other side of the room—it is Jongseob. He is sure it was a shriek. It might be a faint one, but he certainly heard it clearly.
Shota stands up from the bed, totally barefoot, not minding the cold tiled floor, and approaches Jongseob. His tiny figure begins to shuffle when another thunder grumbles, curling up and hugging his knees under the sheets in the process. Shota gets confused because he hasn’t seen Jongseob like this in his sleep before.
But one thing Shota knows about Jongseob: he feels safer when he knows someone is next to him; no eye contact, no talking, just the presence of another person.
All the thoughts that disturbed him over the past few hours, Shota sets them aside as he carefully settles himself into the space next to Jongseob, placing a pillow between them. He lies flat on his back, facing the ceiling, and casually tilting his head to the side to check Jongseob. Another thunder comes, Shota hears sleepy mumbling noises from Jongseob, signalling he’s somewhat alert. With inhaling a big puff of air in fear, Shota slips one of his hands under the pillow, sneaking into the other side—Jongseob’s side. Shota closes his eyes, drowning himself in the anticipation.
Another combination of lightning and thunder goes off, and, finally—
Shota feels a tug on his hand, opening his eyes once again. He feels soft squeezes on it, being wrapped by a warmth that’s not his. The grip is shaky, and he can feel the racing pulses even through that simple touch. “Seob-ah,” Shota mumbles. “It’s okay.”
“Stay with me…” Jongseob grunts, trying to catch his breath. “Please, Shota.”
Jongseob sounds so weak that Shota feels the need to protect, the longing to take care of him for life. “I’m here,” Shota answers, his thumb gently caressing Jongseob’s skin. “Don’t worry.”
Surprisingly, the series of thunder has stopped. Shota can still hear rain knocking on the windows, but as long as the sky has calmed down from thundering, it is fine. He switches to his side, now looking in Jongseob’s direction. He casually peeks over the pillow to check Jongseob’s state. Thankfully, his grip on Shota eventually calms down, and his breath returns to its normal pace. Shota sighs in relief.
Shota doesn’t mind their position. If Jongseob refuses to talk, then let silence eat them over. If Shota himself gets numb under Jongseob’s grasp, then let it happen as long as he knows that Jongseob is doing fine. If the storm aggravates, then let them stay one more night. If things get more confusing between them after this, then maybe it’s time to stop. Maybe it’s the sign to let go. But…
“Sho…” Jongseob mumbles, almost inaudible. “Still awake?”
Shota hums in response, turning his head to Jongseob’s side.
“Look—I know things have gotten confusing between us. We don’t talk to each other. We don’t see each other anymore. We’re in the same school, yet we still don’t meet. We were supposed to be in the same classes, but I transferred on purpose,” Jongseob lets out a dry chuckle, then clears his throat. “I’m sorry about that.”
Shota listens quietly, letting Jongseob continue speaking his mind.
Before speaking again, Jongseob breathes in and out, attempting to keep himself calm. “I know it was stupid. It was—Damn… I feel so bad. First of all, you didn’t deserve that. I didn’t think setting up boundaries would lead to this, would lead us to complete no-contact. I didn’t think that this would affect me too negatively, because most of the time, I just keep looking for you. I just ended up hurting myself, and I didn’t even realize that maybe you’re hurting too. And it’s all because of me.”
“You were… Looking for me?”
Jongseob sighs in defeat. “Yeah… I used to endure it by finding you in the crowd, and once I did, I thought it was enough. But it wasn’t. I used to ask Keeho-hyung about you, but he didn’t know, either, since he’s in a different class and an unrelated department from us. I used to wait for you in the lobby of our building, but whenever you showed up, I became a coward. I just hid myself behind walls and crowds like a stupid stalker who doesn’t know what he’s doing.” He chuckles at that thought.
When he normally finds Jongseob’s humor the funniest, Shota’s eyes widen in surprise instead of laughing together with him. Everything Jongseob says is similar to his own sentiment, too. So, all this time, they felt the same thing? Shota doesn’t want to jump to conclusions this instant; he doesn’t want to rush the moment. He needs to hear Jongseob’s side first. But he can’t deny that he’s already flushed from the moment, hints of red brushing across his cheeks. He’s thankful enough that there’s a pillow separating them.
“If only you knew how long I’ve been waiting for us to see each other again.”
“Jongseob-ah…” Shota mumbles.
“Yeah?” Jongseob shifts into his position, his head turning towards the pillow, yet the view is still blocked for Shota to see his face. Their heartbeats start to race as the two wait in anticipation. At one point, their pulses probably run the same degree by now.
With no hesitation, Shota utters, “Can I hug you?”
“Yeah.”
Without any second thought, Shota pulls the pillow from its initial resting position and throws it to the other mattress. Finally, being able to see Shota’s figure, Jongseob’s eyes follow the motion of the pillow landing on the soft surface, getting caught wide-eyed in surprise with every moment. Shota sits up on the bed, pulling Jongseob into a hug. The younger’s delicate figure almost falls back into the mattress, but Shota’s reflexes catch him so swiftly.
Shota can hear Jongseob’s rhythmic breathing, chasing his own alternately. He can tell Jongseob is stiffened from the sudden gestures, still hesitant to move an inch. He respects it and doesn’t move either; if getting that hug is more than what the universe can offer, he will accept wholeheartedly.
But it doesn’t stop there. Shortly after, Jongseob eventually softens his body, melting into Shota’s gentle grip and embracing him back. Not going to lie, Shota gets taken aback by the sudden embrace, but above all, he is glad, excited even. Shota runs his hand against Jongseob’s back as he caresses him. Finally, their breathing flows in sync, gradually soothing each other down.
No one bothers to speak a word. Until Jongseob—
“Shota…” He mumbles, sniffling right after. Shota hums in question.
“I missed you.”
Shota’s starting to understand now; everything has always been mutual. No wonder his heart aches every time Jongseob isn’t around; no wonder he always longs for him. Little does he know that there is also another soul out there who longs for his presence. They need each other. They complete each other like puzzle pieces that fit without any problem.
Shota gently pulls Jongseob deeper into the hug as Jongseob buries himself in Shota’s chest. Jongseob begins to sob, lifting the heavy weight off his chest. “Shhh… It’s okay, Seob-ah,” He soothes him, caressing the back of his head and leaving a quick, soft kiss on it. Even so suddenly, Shota doesn’t mind if they stay like that at all. Because after so long, he can finally feel Jongseob’s warmth again—this time, they’re closer than ever—and that’s what matters the most for him.
It is almost five in the morning; the sun is preparing to rise, and another day is about to come by, yet they’re still wide awake. Leaning against the softly cushioned bed frame, Shota and Jongseob spend at least ten minutes talking about their disconnected past, hugging their knees against their chest and staying comfortable. Not once did Shota imagine it would be possible to come to this level. Not one single hint ever enlightened him that a time when he and Jongseob stayed at a hotel overnight would come, and he intentionally tried to get them back together.
Because of the boundaries Jongseob subconsciously built, they almost break apart, and even Jongseob himself admits that he doesn’t like that idea at all.
“You scared me,” Shota lets out a soft chuckle. “But I’m glad we’re okay now.”
Jongseob chuckles with him. “I’m glad too. We gotta give Jiungie-hyung a credit for this, though. If it weren’t because of his spontaneity, we wouldn’t have reconciled.”
Shota agrees, nodding his head in response. “Were you scared that I’d hate you forever?” Jongseob adds.
No, it is more like Shota is scared of losing the meaning of things and the reasons to appreciate the world. He is scared of losing someone who showed him that life is all about imbalanced pairs. Its capability of balancing out the good and bad, the possible and hopeless, or the perfection and the flawed, as if they’re also some inseparable pairs. Shota loathes losing the person who showed him that life isn’t all about being perfect, and that is okay. Not all the time that he would be happy and excited about something, and that’s always okay. Not every time he wished for something would he receive, and that’s okay. Not everything would end up on a great path, even though going through countless trials just to save it, and that’s okay.
But now, Shota hopes that it’s different for him and Jongseob. No matter how many trials he has to go through, he would always try to save them.
“No, I was scared of losing a friend. The only person I held closest to my heart,” Shota says, almost straightforwardly, rubbing his left arm in embarrassment. “It could be you, but who knows?” He chuckles breathily.
Too abruptly, Jongseob snaps his head to Shota, who then slowly glances at him as well. His eyes travel up to Shota’s, and he witnesses his eyes glisten in such close distance, looking more alive than ever. “What if I told you I was scared of losing you, too?”
“Then I’d have to hold you closer and never let you go.”
Jongseob’s eyes widen in surprise, clearly taken aback by Shota’s response. And the other seems to be unbothered, just casually staring at Jongseob back with such a chill expression. More of a serious expression, rather. Shota senses his confusion, letting out a soft chuckle. “Or maybe lock you in a dog cage or something—get to have fun with Takki-hyung, I guess.”
Shota laughs even more when he sees Jongseob chortle, looking away as he tries to compose himself after hearing Shota’s joke. It’s each other’s humour that always cracks them up, even the most basic ones. The ones that only the two of them understand.
“Speaking of Intakki-hyung—well, not technically about him, but about your clothes. Do you still do that?”
Jongseob furrows his eyebrows in confusion, “Do what?”
“Not wearing anything inside your jacket,” Shota blinks, waiting for an answer, and hopes that it isn’t weird to bring up.
“Well, yeah,” Jongseob clicks his tongue. “Actually…” Today, Jongseob expected that they would only walk to Namsan or stroll around Myeongdong for food at night. Today was supposed to be a casual day for him, just taking a short break from the university, and it was perfect timing when Jiung asked him out, so he went even in his casual clothes. But, it was too casual that he didn’t think that he’d reach Gyeonggi because of Jiung’s spontaneous getaway. Otherwise, he would have dressed up better when he had the chance, especially since Shota said he would be coming, too.
Shota smiles at him, admiring the way he talks and how he missed it for so long. “Me too,” he adds. “I mean, I’ve dressed up already because I knew you were coming along. I was trying to impress, but… I kind of regret it now. I think I didn’t do well enough.”
“Whatever,” Jongseob playfully pushes Shota by the arm. “You did well with your singing, though.”
Shota looks puzzled, “What?”
“I may or may not have heard you singing that song in the showers tonight,” Jongseob lets out a soft chuckle. “Good, good… I haven’t heard that song for a while. Thanks for reminding me.” He tilts his head towards Shota, flashing the softest smile that can melt anyone’s heart on the spot.
In Shota’s book, he has seen various kinds of smiles in this lifetime, and he found them all beautiful. One that shows shiny, perfectly levelled rows of celebrities’ white teeth during red carpet events, growing extra bright when photographers start capturing their charm with flashes. Another is from a pair of a mother and a child excitedly running to each other when they meet at the front gates of the primary school, which Shota encountered when he joined his mother pick up his sister on a random afternoon. Another from an auntie who sells a variety of her fresh vegetables to a wealthy couple who usually buy from her stall, excitedly showcasing her fresh picks.
Those are some among Shota’s list of smiles in his lifetime, but not one of them could take the lead from Jongseob’s—the most captivating smile of all.
The moment Shota witnessed Jongseob smile for the first time was when they strolled on the beach; everything else stopped. Everything had gone frozen in time, giving more emphasis to Jongseob’s bright figure. He feels lucky enough to see Jongseob’s smile in this lifetime. Seeing it by himself alone was too personal and special for him.
In fact, he feels lucky enough to be living at the same time and breathing the same air as him.
“Right, you should now revisit the song and listen to it again, then,” Shota responds, clearing his throat and subtly fanning his face with his hand to avoid looking red like a cherry. “Why do you have the buds anyway? Jiungie-hyung had to pick one for you, too.”
“First of all, I appreciated hyung for buying me this. Second, I lost my original one—probably dropped it in the cab by accident, because I usually only place it in my pocket.”
Shota hums in response, nodding in agreement. “Okay, but you haven’t really answered my question… Why do you use it? What do you use it for?”
“I couldn’t sleep at night,” Jongseob confesses, looking down. “When I moved out of our dorm.”
Shota turns to look at Jongseob in disbelief, getting surprised by the new piece of information he received.
Jongseob adds, “When I moved into a new place without you, it felt so lonely. My current roommates aren’t the best ones out there, but I’m not going to lie, they kept me company during the first three weeks. They always party, and they’re always loud. However, I grew out of it, and eventually, I stopped hanging out. I still lived in the same place, I just don’t come out often, unlike them. I just used my buds to cancel out the noise so I can sleep more peacefully—it was the most effective and affordable way to do it. And, the storm is no better. Thunder and lightning everywhere—they hurt my ears now.”
“You were able to sleep before… You could even sleep longer than I do,” Shota furrows his eyebrows in both worry and disbelief, slightly leaning towards Jongseob. “What happened?”
“When I knew you were with me, that is,” the younger, now glancing over to Shota, explains himself. “I can only sleep when I have a source of peace and calmness—turns out, it was you. I can only sleep long whenever you’re around because only you know how to navigate through my peace.”
He’s telling the truth, though. Shota knows and considers Jongseob’s peace, and he never interrupts him when he knows he needs focus. He knows how to calm him in his chaotic sleep, allowing himself to sleep next to Jongseob with his prior permission, of course, and stay there until Jongseob wakes up. That is how he knew Jongseob’s habits and sleep patterns.
And honestly, that is just one of the ways Shota began to fall for him.
“So that’s why you needed those,” Shota says, feeling disheartened after knowing how much his friend had struggled over the past. “I’m so sorry, Seob-ah.”
“Don’t be, Sho. I’m alright.” Jongseob flashes him a gentle smile, one that shows reassurance. Despite how comforting his smile can be, Shota still looks at him worriedly. He knows Jongseob isn't alright.
Before he goes off to say something, his phone rings with an alarm. It was supposed to be for his Saturday class, but the professor cancelled it at the last minute, which was also why he could join them at the park. “Hold on,” Shota gets up from the bed, reaching out to his phone from the nightstand, and shuts off the rest of his active alarms for the day.
“I’m sorry—it was for class, supposedly. But I don't have one today, so don't worry,” Shota explains, looking back only to see Jongseob hurriedly stand up from the bed, grabbing Shota’s wrist as he stays in place.
“What's wrong?” Shota watches Jongseob grab both his hands now, then stare back at him.
“I should be the one to say sorry. It was rude of me to ignore you for the past year, but my avoidant self kicked in. I just don’t want us to get hurt, I swear. But I didn’t know that avoiding you was worse. It hurt us so bad, and I’m sorry, Shota.”
Tears form in Jongseob’s eyes as he shifts his gaze towards Shota. “Shhh… Shhh…” Shota pulls away from Jongseob’s grip, cupping his cheeks, running his thumb across his undereye cheek as he wipes the tears that are about to stream. “I understand. Yes, it hurt, but at least we endured through that part in our lives and found each other again. Just know that from now on, everything will be okay, hmm?”
Shota stays in his position, leaning toward Jongseob’s height and never leaving his gaze. His voice was as soothing as ever, and Jongseob’s tears never stopped. A few drops of tears develop in Shota’s eyes, too, but he just smiles it off, paying more attention to Jongseob. His touch is so gentle that Jongseob finds himself leaning into his palm, familiarizing himself with the gentleness he never felt for a long time. Shota then guides himself towards Jongseob’s forehead, slightly tiptoeing to plant a soft, long kiss on his skin.
From what they’re on now, Shota and Jongseob can never ask for anything else after this. The healthy confrontation, the bottled-up feelings that are unknowingly mutual, and the most comfortable touch… Apparently, the case has been solved; Shota and Jongseob are together again. Even the stars hidden from the crowded, thick clouds and raging storms support them, choose them, and long for their relationship to fall into the right place again.
Their souls match, proving that they are meant for each other. As a matter of fact, they always have been.
---
“I’ll take Takki with me after this,” Taeyang says over the speaker from Jiung’s phone. “He seems sick from last night’s storm, and it's your fault, Choi Jiung…” Leaving a heavy emphasis on his name.
“Not the government name again,” Jiung sighs in defeat. “It’s always like this every time I pull Intak away from you.”
“As I should!”
“Yangie-hyung, I’m okay. Don’t worry.” Intak calls out as he is just next to his hyung. At eight in the morning, he and Intak leave the breakfast lounge right after finishing their free meals included in their hotel stay package. It is supposed to be for four heads, but the two are still out of reach.
Jiung and Intak, still on a video call with Taeyang and Keeho, decide to go back up to their rooms and check on the other two, assuming they’re just deeply asleep. Hopefully, the breakfast lounge is still open and will have more food left for them by the time Shota and Jongseob come down. Otherwise, they would just look for some coffee shops nearby as they wait for the other two to pick them up from the hotel.
They step out of the elevator and then walk towards their rooms. “Speaking of the storm, it is quite a miracle that it stopped this morning,” Jiung talks to the phone. “The sky is a lot clearer now. Did you guys see?”
After a few walks and chit-chats with the main hyungs, they eventually reach Shota and Jongseob’s room. Jiung hands his phone over to Intak as he pulls out Shota’s spare keycard. They decided to do this last night, in case one of the rooms overslept, like this. As soon as they succeed in unlocking the room, the two make their way inside.
“You know what they say, or what the movies show us, at least,” Intak explains confidently. “It only takes one confession on a rainy day to scare the storm away…” When Intak comes in further, he sees Jiung standing frozen in front of the first bed. He goes in, too, and finally sees why:
Shota and Jongseob cuddled up in each other’s arms. The head pillows are messy around them, and the blanket only covers from their torso down to their knees, leaving their feet exposed to the cold.
Intak shows them through the video call, Taeyang and Keeho gasping in surprise. While off-screen, Taeyang screams, asking Jiung to take a picture of them.
“So, your theory about rainy day confessions turned out to be true,” Jiung mumbles. “They’re your proof. Take a picture.”
“Yeah,” Intak hands the phone back to Jiung, scratching the back of his head in confusion. He chuckles nervously. “But they’re not soaking wet from the rain, so technically it’s not an under-the-rain confession. Does it even count if they’re in a hotel?”
“Huh?” Jiung exclaims, closing his eyes in disbelief. “Man… It’d be so uncomfortable getting on this ride for later,” He groans, gaining a confused look from his boyfriend, Keeho, on the other end of the line.