Work Text:
︴ "𝐂hristmas present" ୨୧
day after christmas.
Ivan is alone, sitting at the couch, his mind on the clouds again.
he suddenly snapped out of it as he heard a voice, a familiar one. Surely it wasn't Andrew. He has left yesterday already.
"how do you like your christmas present, Ivan?"
the tumor spoke up, its voice cruel, Ivan was sick of it.
"Leave me alone." Ivan said coldly, his voice echoing inside his apartment.
The tumor lets out a mocking laugh. Targetted to Ivan.
"just stop!" Ivan yelled at the tumor. he hated how it always finds a way to haunt him. He hated how it took control of him. And he hated how he keeps blaming the tumor for ruining his friendship with Andrew even if he knows it's his fault.
Ivan stood up, how stupid. It's not there is it? He's just talking to himself. He made his way to his bedroom, hoping the tumor would go away.
it would disappear if i ignore it, right?
Ivan buries his face in his pillow, muffling his annoyed shriek. he relaxed on the pillow for a while before sitting up right again.
the tumor's not here anymore. Ivan sighed. He could finally get peace for himself and think about what he had done. Great. Another hour of suffocating silence with just Ivan and his thoughts.
Oh how he hated this. He hated how alone he felt without Andrew, heck, he hated admitting it but he was depending on Andrew in some way.
there's no point in yearning if he's already gone anyway.
"pathetic."
A voice can suddenly be heard from across the room. It's his dad isn't it?
"make a name for yourself. You'll end up just like me."
Ivan ignores it, closing his eyes, trying to erase the memory of his dad's charred corpse. It's scary how he had been a hero for everyone but no one remembered him anyway.
and Ivan is ending up like him.
dead
and alone.
and no one will remember him.
all the effort was wasted. But now he knows, he knows that he can't bring Andrew back. No matter how much he misses him. How much he loves him, and how much he needed him.
Andrew will be releasing those games tonight.
ivan is not playing it.
Because you were a bad friend, Ivan.
——
it's all over now is it?
the moon does seem pretty tonight. the stars are glowing beautifully up above the sky. It reminded him of Andrew. Just how bright he was smiling that day.
You took his smile away from him
And now its your turn Ivan.
Ivan stares at the road below him, the cars, the streetlight. One foot over the edge.
then the other.
———
Andrew layed down on his bed, god. I wonder how Ivan is doing now.
Andrew shouldn't worry about that stuff. It's all over isnt it? their friendship is over. Ivan had left an impact on him.
is that the legacy you wanted, Ivan?
but after all,
I enjoyed the time we had together.
even if it turned out ugly in the end.