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Bring the witch down, Splodey. Bring her down.
That’s what the bystanders told him. Every Earclacker received hundreds, if not thousands of messages every day, obsessing, begging for them to take down their opponents in The Arena - a place with seemingly impenetrable walls, with only an announcer which no one knew the name of. While opponents would get magically healed after the fight, it was no doubt this was an incredibly cruel form of entertainment.
And yet, every Earclacker fought for their own glory.
“Scepter,” Splodey thought to themselves. A fighter who wielded a weapon by the same name, with the ability to steal health off of their opponents. After a sadistic win against Duplicator with a 2100 health lead, the magic girl mysteriously disappeared, with Grimoire and Staff, her fellow magic users, refusing to speak about them–until 73 days later, they abruptly returned–and demolished Axe with a fashionable lead of 50 health, with the alcohol-loving, crit-happy blade wielder throwing up the Bloody Mary she had before the match, screaming “THATS A BLOODY HELLSPAWN” before storming out–-to be fair, she had never seen Scepter fight before.
Axe wasn’t completely wrong though. Despite her own carefree attitude towards the sport that gained her many haters, Scepter fought each and every match with an incredibly satirical tone, intentionally letting her opponents think they had the lead before sucking them dry of health. So when the mad titaness was thrown against Splodey, the weaponball with the second highest winrate–the bomberman began hearing endless pleas.
It was a best of three. Splodey knew how these went, he’d analyzed every single one in preparation for this match–and found that most of them ended in 2-0, deducing that a loss in the first game always left the opponent too drained–mentally, for their physical wounds would be healed after every fight–to fight back in the second. Like a gambler pushing his chips forward, Splodey readied his bombs.
“All in.”
The Arena, as per usual, was staggeringly bright. A roar of applause came over the crowd as Splodey entered the arena. The feeling of sand overcame him as he stepped into the arena. Splodey himself was never a fan of sand–it got in his shoes. However, the ability to blind with his bombs thanks to the sand was one he’d never deny. A giant illuminated “ 0 - 0” hung above the announcer’s box, reminding both fighters what was at stake.
Right, the other fighter.
Scepter stood at the other end of The Arena, her weapon in hand. She’d picked her pink outfit for today–a simple pink blouse, with a skort in the same color and black stockings–a vibrant contrast compared to Splodey’s leather jacket and black trousers. However, Splodey knew not to let this deceive him.
“...so you’re scepter.”
The wielder laughed to herself, twirling her weapon like a baton. “About time you showed up~ Earclacks above, these opponents are so boring!” In one smooth action, she readied her weapon. “Now, let’s see what kind of feast you’ll bring for me.”
“Scepter Vs. Splodey! Who will win?”
Splodey bit the pin off one of his grenades.
“Tear the witch down.”
“Fight!”
The two immediately traded blows. Every Earclacker got more powerful off of each hit they did, a power bestowed upon them by an indescribable force–the same one that made The Arena. Splodey made sure to keep the higher ground on Scepter, using his powerful jump strength to get into the air and dropping bombs onto the girl over and over again–but that glimmer of hope would be gone as soon as Scepter threw her weapon in Splodey’s direction, the seemingly sentient weapon pulsing a bright green as Scepter herself healed all the damage off.
I need to scale faster.
A massive hit. Twenty or so bombs detonated in Scepter’s face, sending the girl flying with an eep–but not before she got a hit off. This time though, it wasn’t enough to outdamage the hits. Splodey defensively dropped another set of bombs near himself. He looked around the arena.
She’s playing defensive.
Another cluster bomb hit. Then another. Splodey took full advantage of the misplay, with only two scaling hits from Scepter–of which he got the far better end of the exchange.
Using her weapon as a hoverboard, Scepter floated above Splodey, barely catching her breath. “Not…bad…you seem a lot more potent than the others! Although I-”
“You talk too much.”
While it was against the rules to start fighting before the announcer said to, there were no rules on interrupting mid-fight banter. Splodey hit Scepter with a quick punch to the leg–score, sending the girl toppling to the floor, her weapon clattering to the side.
It didn’t take long for Scepter to put together what was going to happen.
KABOOM
“Splodey: 1, Scepter: 0.”
Splodey sighed a breath of relief as The Arena healed off his wounds, the crowd roaring in victory, although Splodey knew that wasn’t the end of it. A now healed Scepter stood up, dusting off the sand on her clothes.
“Not bad bomb boy~ Too bad I know how you fight now!” She laughed, twirling her weapon in her hand. “Let’s see how you like a taste of magic~”
“Remain vigilant,” Splodey told himself. While he had gotten the incredibly significant match one victory, Splodey had been known by his fellow Earclackers to never let his guard down. However, unlike Spear, whose awareness gave her one of the best parry games in the entire roster, Splodey used his agility to get around opponents and strike at surprising times–something the fans knew well after what he did to Hammer.
“Fight!”
The two didn’t exchange hits this time. Instead, Scepter avoided Splodey’s starting bombs with grace, using her superior range to land two quick hits on him. As Splodey jumped into the air once more, looking for his target on the ground, a thick, crystalline rod hit his sides.
She’s following me!
Splodey’s most efficient trick had always been his bomb drop. The weakness of it? Splodey had to be above the opponent to land his hits with high success, something he knew well after his loss against the 10,000 health dummy. However, Scepter following him meant he couldn’t get shots in anywhere as easily–and she knew it too.
BOOM
The arena walls rocked with tremors as Splodey began speeding up in the air, zipping off their walls and throwing bombs in increasing numbers, now changing to his shotgun formation that allowed him to more unpredictably spray his bombs. However, Scepter was always one step ahead–or behind, as the girl was always to the back of Splodey as he dropped bombs, playfully poking him with the Scepter, healing off what minimal damage he did. As Splodey jumped off the wall once more, he spotted the weapon above him a bit too late.
A thwack into Splodey’s head sent him flying towards the ground, Scepter laughing as she walked over to his body. “Awww~ Is the little bomb boy hurt?” She commented. “Such a pity~ you scale so fast you could oneshot me by now!
But you’re, too, tired~” A pulsing green glow filled the entire arena. Splodey screamed as he felt every bit of energy being taken from him, the color draining from his nerves as the last thing he heard was Scepter laughing maniacally–
“Splodey: 1, Scepter: 1.”
Splodey gasped for air as The Arena healed him, panting from the final hits Scepter dealt on him. A match three. These rarely happened in between the Earclackers, one would always be too dominant and win both.
And yet, here these two were evenly matched against each other.
“HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, it always feels so good to get all that HEALTH!” Scepter cooed, making fake puppy eyes at Splodey, who had retreated back to his side of the arena. Scepter learned. Fast. He needed to match that learning.
She had been following me last match, Splodey thought.
I need to use that.
“Fight!”
Splodey darted into the air from the beginning, inviting Scepter to give chase–which she did. “Ahuhuhu~did you not learn, bomber boy?” Scepter giggled.
Splodey went higher.
Using his bombs as a booster, Splodey flew into the air, dropping his bombs from an extremely elevated position.
She can’t reach me here.
And Splodey was right. He may not be able to outpace Scepter horizontally, but he sure could vertically. The Scepter itself floated up to catch Splodey.
Score.
Splodey intentionally started trading hits with the weapon, before the Scepter slammed him down into the ground. “Nice try~ you’re not dodging me or my weapon up there!” She rushed towards the grounded Splodey, outstretched. Splodey checked his scaling.
38 bombs.
His strategy had paid off. By luring the weapon up, he’d let himself get scaling without inciting too much damage on himself. And as Scepter charged down, Splodey dropped his bombs, slamming them into the ground to make them bounce up–and right into Scepter.
A firework of explosions went off as Scepter went flying into the other side of The Arena with a thud, sand erupting out of the ground. “Ack! Fine then, you wanna go all out, let’s go all out!” Scepter screamed, floating towards Splodey, her weapon glowing a brilliant green, illuminating the entire arena.
She’s playing aggressively. I’ve enraged her.
The rest of the match was a bloodbath. With Scepter enraged, Splodey no longer had to retreat to the air–the fight was taken to the ground.
And on the ground, Splodey’s scaling peaked.
44 bombs. Then 64. Then another 70 hit. And yet, after another 82 bombs, Scepter’s lifesteal kept her going. Splodey panted. He had gotten Scepter incredibly wounded, but he himself had been drained of sufficient energy where he could barely move. If it were anyone else, they’d be dead 3 times over by now…Splodey thought, using the last of his energy to get on his feet.
Likewise, Scepter stood on the other side of The Arena, her blouse shredded, face buried in smoke, and yet, the mad titanness stood standing.
“We…we both…know how this ends…bomb boy…” Scepter panted, raising her weapon one final time.
“No matter how many bombs you got, you’re going down with ME!!!!”
The weapon guided her forward one last time, throwing her entire body at Splodey. He coughed, grabbing the rest of his arsenal.
“Let this be known, witch…”
“I am the one who will win today.”
A massive explosion of green light and grey smoke. Both laid down on the floor as The Arena healed them, the audience anxiously waiting for the score to update. Splodey knew for a fact at least some of his last bombs hit–there were 133 of them to be exact–but he didn’t know how fast they hit, if Scepter got him first, or if it even was enough damage at all.
Scepter stood tall on the other side, holding her weapon by her side like a baton. She was rarely this tense. As she should be here. She either won easily, or lost in a rage. This time around though…
“Splodey: 2, Scepter: 1. The winner is Splodey!”
A chorus of shouts from the audience filled Splodey’s ears as he breathed a sigh of relief. He glanced at his opponent, walking over to the middle of The Arena to give a handshake, as was customary after matches. Scepter sat still on her side of the floor.
Splodey sighed. “Look, that was a close match, at least–”
His hand was met with a firm shake.
“You know bomber boy, I’ll give it to ya, you got tricks. You caught me on an off day though! Maybe next time we meet, you won’t be so lucky~” Scepter giggled again, before walking back into her entrance. Splodey smiled.
“Till the next time we meet, Scepter.”